Essence of the Mistform Ultimus
•Drinking this essence grants you an upgrade to your baseline capabilities among other benefits.
•You obtain a roughly 3x times increase compared to comic book peak human strength, endurance, durability, anything that would be an objective improvement.
•From now on you count as every possible creature type that is, was and will be part of the collectible trading card game Magic: the Gathering. At the same time. For all intents and purposes.
•This specifically includes anything that targets a species, rituals that have a species or job requirement and anything else similar.
•Shapeshifting into any combination of said creature types only takes half a second and the will for it to happen. This is an effortless action. You will always be able to return to your preferred and/or default form without trouble or error. Normally any form would be a version of yourself, but you can just as easily assume a generic form such as a Human Spirit Pirate or Turtle Mutant Ninja. There is no limit on how many creature types you can express in a form.
Essence of the Dave Conspiracy
This Essence tastes like the blackest possible coffee, with a hint of alfalfa.
It looks like it tastes as well.
No one that was named, called or identified as a 'Dave' is able to willingly or unwillingly harm the drinker of this Essence in any way, shape or form. This will not cause suspicions or concerns for anyone, especially anyone who is looking for something similar.
Anyone named, called or identified as a 'Dave' will always be willing to hear out and offer at least minimal support to the drinker of this Essence to the best of their ability to do so. Identifying anyone that fits that criteria is always possible without any effort and unnoticeable by anyone else.
The drinker of this Essence can once per day or once each 24 hours, whichever is shorter, call upon the knowledge, powers, skills and abilities of anyone named, called or identified as a 'Dave' from anywhere in the omniverse. Whatever is called upon is painlessly and directly integrated with the drinker. This does not cause loss of personality, acquiring of unwanted personality traits or similar.
The knowledge of the fact that the drinker has access to the powers granted by the Essence as well as any way that anyone or anything could find out that said knowledge is rendered impossible to anyone that is not the drinker. The drinker can only willingly share that knowledge but is impossible to force into sharing that knowledge in any way.
Anything gained from drinking the Essence or using the powers of it can not be taken or copied from the drinker in any way, shape or form.
Essence of the Duracell Bunny
Drinking this strangely pink and green concoction does grant you several notable powers.
You now have literally infinite stamina, sleep is still possible and easy to attain but not required.
This includes all kinds of stamina, so not only can you run forever, you can also get it on like a bunny without ever needing to rest.
Aging is not an issue for you any longer either. You just don't age past your prime and if you already happen to be past that you will deage back to your prime at any rate you would prefer.
You simply can keep going for as long as you want.
Any item that requires a battery or energy-cell of some sort to function can now be powered by your touch alone. Smartphone, done. Energy blaster, no problem. Lightsaber, why not?
You can enable and disable this on a case by case basis that is entirely your choice, this is also effortless for you.
Somehow this also grants you all skills, knowledge, instincts and muscle memory of a master percussionist.
On top of that no one associated with any type of energy company will ever become hostile to you without your direct action against an individual causing the hostility.
Essence of the Big Cookie
Drinking this chocolate chip cookie flavored Essence grants you access to all the power of the game Cookie Clicker, the steam version.
This means that you get an interface of your choice that represents the game as well as your own cookie multiverse as implied in the game.
You will have alternate self's inside the universes that make up your personal multiverse and be able to access all of the skills they have and had. The only one that has actual power is the one in the primary Cookie Clicker universe that you influence through the interface. So don't expect more then the occasional master level skill in a mundane discipline from the others.
Baking and cooking skills are specifically included but limited to cookies, food / upgrades actually bought during the current 'run' as well as all previous 'runs'.
You can easily and effortlessly travel into your Cookie Clicker Multiverse in your preferred manner, however you can only use this ability after at least one ascension in your interface and can only travel into your cookieverse X times per 24 hours. X is the number of your total ascensions.
Traveling between different dimensions inside your multiverse is free, as is the return to your 'real life'.
Only your Cookie Clicker Universe primary alternate will be able to remember you from 'run' to 'run' across your visits but all versions of yourself will be guaranteed to start out friendly to you.
Any actual food item that has been at least bought once during any run can be summoned as a mundane version into the realm you are actually in. This mostly means nearly infinite cookies but anything you actually take out will be subtracted from your 'in-game' profits.
Everything summoned will be in as perfect and edible state as humanly possible.
All sugar, sugary food, junk food and similar is now actually healthy for you to eat and will help you to reach comic book peak human levels in terms of your body. You won't get fat, overweight, have bad cholesterol, bad teeth or literally any other downside such food and drink items would normally have on you. It is now possible to just consume things like that exclusively and have a perfectly healthy body. Any food pulled from your Cookie Clicker Universe is twice as effective as regular junk food and snacks would be in terms of bettering your health.
Should you somehow be killed or die you will always be able to self-resurrect to the point in time just after waking up on the day after you drank the Essence.
You may also simply chose to go back at any time, this does not reset any progress you made in your 'game'. Beings beyond the power-level of mere mortals may remember parts of the old timeline depending on their actual power and importance.
The Essence also somehow grants you full protection against memetic dangers, contamination and corruption. Looking in the abyss and seeing it give you one saucy wink will now not drive you insane. Depending on preferences you may get horny.
All grandmothers are friendly towards you by default and not unwilling to become much more then merely friendly towards you. They can be still become unfriendly depending on your actions but will be very happy to forgive and forget if you make minimal attempts to fix things between you and them.
The same is true for all cat's, cat-themed beings, cookie-themed beings, dragons and eldritch entities. Santa Claus and anyone associated with him too for some reason, actually any being that represents a holiday or is widely associated with one.
God-level entities or stronger will always recognize you as a being in charge of a multiverse and afford you at least a modicum of respect and politeness when interacting with you.
Neither you or your powers can be influenced, copied or stolen by anyone or anything.
Essence of the Favored Gift
Upon drinking this essence you gain access to a random Gift of Faves CYOA and can fill it out to gain the powers on offer.
You may either fill it out normally or take less choices then offered based on your preference.
There is no need to immediately decide what you want, you can always come back to the CYOA until you finish the build.
Once a year or 365 days after you finished your first build, whichever takes longer, you will gain access to another randomly chosen Gift of Faves.
This effect will repeat until you truly desire it to stop.
A Gift of Faves CYOA can not come up more then once unless you have run out CYOA's that have not been used so far.
Essence of the Freemium Chain
The Essence looks like it is made out of strangely formed bubbles inside a clear bottle with a chain motive imprinted in the material.
It smells and tastes like fruit flavored menthos dropped into Dr. Pepper.
Drinking this Essence triggers a slightly delayed transmigration to a different world, universe, mythos, worldline, timeline and such. There is no true way to be certain where one would end up.
The drinker is put into a small office without any exit where they have to fill out a bit of paperwork before they are on their way to adventure.
Ageing, hunger, thirst and similar discomfort is disabled inside the room and no harm can come to one inside of it.
To start their isekai adventure the drinker picks up a randomly present jumpchain document and has to make a build with several unusual distinctions from normal use.
● Optional: A one-time all around health fix-up, sex & gender change as desired, as well as a one time setting of the age to peak performance happens upon the first entering of the office.
● There is no starting budget available, instead every perk, item, power and similar that is labeled as free or conditionally free is marked down to being fully free.
● Any conditions required to be able to take something that was conditionally free are null and void.
● Everything labeled to behave differently post-jump has that specific functionality from the get-go.
● No Origin, Race, Characterclass or similar can be picked, the drinker will stay as themselves unless a perk or item specifically says differently.
● Specific budgets limited to subsections such as "Items", "Powers", "Weapon Customization" and similar are available. Usually once, depending on wording. Free floating discounts that could be applied to any number of perks, items or other are treated as if all applied to any legal choice.
● Optional: Companion sections are either disabled or enabled.
● Drawbacks are disabled, same for the option to jump or go home.
● Optional: A Personal Reality / Cosmic Warehouse will be made available when a warehouse extension is acquired. The above rules for budget, drawbacks and available choices apply there as well.
● Optional: Unwanted perks, items or other can 'dismissed' and grant a single percent of their undiscounted price as warehouse points or equivalent. Example: A 100 CP perk is dismissed and grants 1 WP. A free for all perk or item without an undiscounted price would grant no points.
● Optional: Older jumpchain documents can have perks and items of one origin, usually drop-in, discounted instead of free. If a document like that is used the discount is relabeled as free IF the all other origins have identical perks, items or other labeled as free.
● Optional: A new document to fill out will appear and force the temporary return to the office either one day, one week, one month or one year after the last one was filled out. This time may vary between documents due to random chance, power level of anything acquired, danger level of the inhabited world and other unknown factors.
● None of the perks, items, powers and other acquired by the power of the Essence can be taken, manipulated, stolen or otherwise used against the drinker unless express permission is granted out of free will without coercion.
Essence of the GURPS
Drinking this essence grants you one of the strongest possible abilities, your personal GURPS character sheet and the ability to spend your startup points as well as gaining more points and then using them to better yourself.
The sheet will reflect your current self at first, including advantages and disadvantages. You can buy down or even completely buy of disadvantages, if you have the points.
At the end of each day or after any notable event, whichever happens first, you will gain a minimum of one point.
You also gain access to a search engine and database that covers all official GURPS material, source-books, modules and even magazines that had a GURPS related article.
No one else will be able to see or interact with your sheet, search engine and database.
Essence of the Leftover Grabbag
This Essence shimmers and shifts in several colors, seemingly of different levels of density for each color. Kind of like what a middle ground between a bag of skittles and a puddle of petrol might look like.
Tastes exactly like empty calories, somehow.
Consuming the Essence grants a multitude of minor powers.
Cat Copy: Touching any mundane cat allows the drinker to create a perfect copy of said cat. The copied cat is in no way compelled to be friendly but will start out at a neutral disposition but that can quickly change depending on circumstances. Ability can not be trained to improve it and has a cooldown of 1 minute between uses.
Dog Gone: Any dog and dog like being perceived by the drinker can be banished back to its home. Beings that do not have a place they consider home can not be banished. Ability can not be trained to improve it and has a 10 second cooldown between uses.
Dime & Nickel: Any time a container of some sort, including pockets, is personally checked by the drinker there is a 50% chance that the drinker finds one or more nickels and/or dimes.
Ability can not be trained to improve it, has no cooldown between uses and does not function in universes that do not have dimes and nickels.
Summon Lost Sock: A lost sock can be summoned from the place all lost socks go to. Condition and size of sock not guaranteed to be useful. Ability can not be trained to improve it and has a 10 minute cooldown between uses.
Create Temporary Ping-Pong Ball: Creates a tournament regulation ping-pong ball that stops existing after 10 seconds. Ability can be trained to improve it but the limitation of the balls being temporary can not be overcome, cooldown of 10 seconds between uses.
Create Inaccurate Visiting Card: Create a visiting card of random but reasonable design and material with a name, occupation and means of contact on it. At least one of which will be inaccurate. Ability can be trained to force only one part of the information to be inaccurate, cooldown of 10 seconds between uses.
Create Canned Soda: Create a mundane and drinkable canned soda, like freshly drawn from a vending machine. 99% chance to get a random grape soda and 1% chance to get a random root beer.
Ability can not be trained to improve it, cooldown of 5 minutes between uses.
Create Fresh Slice Of Pizza: Create a fresh, mundane and edible slice of pizza. 25 % chance to get either a slice of mushroom, tuna, pineapple or banana pizza. Ability can not be trained to improve it, cooldown of 15 minutes between uses.
Rumors of this Essence being the result of a drunken office party of the R&D department are wildly inaccurate and false. It was the internal mail, human resources and legal department that started the party.
Essence of the Perfect Spa
This essence grants you all the skills and knowledge required to perfectly run a spa.
Including but not limited to: Accounting, Marketing, Legal, Massage, Make-Up Artistry and so on.
You will not receive certifications but will always know which certifications, if any, would be required to open and run a spa. The procedure to obtain said certifications will always be easy, unobstructed and as fast as possible given normal limitations of your current society.
The only other benefit bestowed by the essence is that you will always be able to obtain all effects of a full day spent being pampered at a perfectly run spa. Including any grooming and muscle relaxation due to massages. This is an at-will action and you can fully control how much of the ability affects you as well as how fast. Instantly or even spread out over a full day while you still do everything else you want. Using this is ability is effortless.
Essence of the Tag Cloud
Tastes like fresh, fluffy #FFFF cotton candy.
This Essence bestows upon you the ability to perceive, add and deleted tags that make up the tag cloud of an item, being or even concept. At its highest level it is possible to effortlessly change the nature of the currently inhabited universe or even reality itself. Expect a minimum of several decades to get even close to that level.
The ability starts with just being able to sense and identify tags directly attached to the owner of the ability but will gain in power, speed and range through use.
A tag may be hard to identify if the drinker is unaware of its existence but all tags discovered, examined and/or already known will be added to a mental 'dictionary' of tags where they can be further examined.
An examined tag will reveal all its meanings over a time of repeated examination, which will make it much easier to understand which specific meaning is affecting something or someone.
Outright creation of a tag is possible but requires a lot of concentration at first, it is possible to fail at creating one if the concentration is broken. This becomes easier to do the more one knows about the possible definitions and meanings of said tag. It is much easier to create a fully understood tag and add it to a tag cloud. With training this too can become effortless.
Weakening a tag is possible but requires another tag to be strengthened with the removed power.
Weakening a tag in one tag cloud and using it to empower a tag in a different cloud is an advanced technique that requires a lot of concentration and can easily fail before trained up to competent level.
After some time it becomes possible to sacrifice a tag to empower another with an equal weight to the sacrificed tag. It is possible to reach a point where a tag can be fully deleted without having to redirect its metaphorical weight.
Outright swapping tags between tag clouds is an advanced technique and requires a lot of concentration due to having to focus on two tag clouds and tags at the same time. Swapping can fail if the concentration gets disturbed and may even be somewhat noticed by self aware targets if the tags snap back into their respective clouds. Using this technique will also get easier with practice and over time can become effortless as well, much like any other application of the ability.
The most advanced use of this ability is also the most subtle, shifting the meaning of a tag to a different meaning of itself. This requires literally full understanding of the tag in question and its current expression in the entity or item the tag cloud belongs to. This will require full concentration at first even if some or all other aspects of the power have been mastered. Failing to successfully affect a tag may cause temporary ill-effects on the owner of the tag cloud.
There is no way to accidentally negatively affect oneself with the ability and it is possible to undo as many changes to tags and tag clouds as a whole as one wants. This specific sub-power is always active and always effortless.
This ability is absolute and can not be taken, copied or interfered with due to its nature of direct manipulation of the metadata of existence. Even sensing the use of this ability is incredibly hard and near impossible for even beings of the highest order, at least if the use was successful.