Chereads / Earth Survival Guide / Chapter 20 - 16. Big brother, wait for me, I am going to the provincial capital (first part)

Chapter 20 - 16. Big brother, wait for me, I am going to the provincial capital (first part)

The night had fallen deep. Having established the preliminary model, the remaining comparisons could be left to the computer. Exhausted, Gu Tao slumped over the workbench. Even though he had taken a physical supplement that tasted like dead grasshoppers, he was still overwhelmingly tired.

"Your body index has dropped below normal levels, please rest in time."

"Didn't I tell you to stop monitoring my body index?" Gu Tao lifted his head wearily, shifting his posture to lean on the chair, "What about that guy?"

"He has entered deep sleep."

"He can really sleep with such peace of mind, his heart is truly big."

Shaking his head with a resigned smile, Gu Tao acknowledged that Xin Chen's heart was indeed vast; he could actually fall asleep in such a strange place, especially when there was someone next to him who could grab him for experimentation.

However, human experimentation was prohibited by command, an order from the Ethics Committee, so even if Gu Tao wanted to do so, there were no facilities on board for that. Just as he was gearing up to muster the energy to sort out the Earth Immortal's data, he suddenly found an abnormal fluctuation in his data.

"Bring up his complete data." Gu Tao drank some water and immediately felt more alert, "Why is there such a huge fluctuation?"

Among the two sets of analysis data, one was Xin Chen's health data from when he first boarded the ship, and the second set was from the Virtual Arena where he fought against Gu Tao. When comparing the two sets of data side by side, they differed by a staggering forty-one thousand tons of equivalent.

Although using equivalents as a measurement wasn't reliable, it was probably the most intuitive way to present it before a unified standardized system was available.

"There's no calculation error? A difference of forty-one thousand? Are you insane?"

"The data has been through a triple check and contains no errors. The change occurred here; I have marked it for you," Satania finished, and the peak-to-valley discrepancy appeared on the analysis chart in front of Gu Tao, "The corresponding time has also been extracted; you can have a look."

They called up the recording, and there they were in the Virtual Arena, covered with various data. Before the battle began, Xin Chen's combat power had been hovering over nine thousand, but the moment he held Mengxiong, the number shot up to fifty thousand with the Lushan Ascending Dragon Tyrant Style.

"This defies science!" Gu Tao froze the image and demanded, "Did you give him a special bonus or something?"

"No, it was set according to the standard non-logical algorithm; this is his normal value."

No wonder... no wonder at all. Gu Tao exhaled deeply, no wonder the fight was so hard; he was actually going toe-to-toe with a monster with a combat power of fifty thousand equivalent while wearing a single soldier unit. He would've been weird if he could win!

However, what puzzled him was why the data would change so drastically all of a sudden. Under normal circumstances, even if one's strength exploded, the value would definitely not exceed three times, but his had almost increased by six times.

"Could it be because of holding the sword?"

With this question in mind, Gu Tao excitedly ran to the living area to wake up Xin Chen, who was asleep. Looking up with bleary eyes was the Elder Brother, looking miserably desperate as he faced Gu Tao, seemingly wanting to say something but holding back...

"I want to ask you..."

"Huh?" Xin Chen sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes, "Can't whatever this is wait until tomorrow morning..."

"I can't wait." Gu Tao sat next to him, taking out a notebook and pen from his embrace, "Why did your power level suddenly jump from nine thousand to fifty thousand equivalent, that's an over five hundred percent increase, which is very unscientific."

"Junior brother..." Xin Chen looked at him gravely, "I'm giving you time to rephrase that."

"What? You gonna hit me? I'm telling you the security here is no joke; you'll be dead," Gu Tao waved his hand dismissively, "Come on, say it."

"Why would I hit you? I'm telling you to rephrase because I honestly don't understand, this thing about power levels, nine thousand, fifty thousand..."

Hmm... that's a problem; the information gap is there, it's normal not to understand. So Gu Tao didn't care about Xin Chen's reluctance and pulled him straight to the analysis room to watch the recording together.

"Here, right at this moment." After hitting pause, Gu Tao pointed at the screen, "At this time, your value suddenly skyrocketed; if it had been the previous nine thousand equivalent, there's no way you could have beaten my first form."

"Are you still hung up on this? Are you that competitive?"

"I..." Gu Tao was stumped for a response, "Leaving that aside, just tell me why you suddenly shot up."

Xin Chen scrutinized the screen carefully, and after a while, he noticed that it was the very moment he made contact with Mengxiong, which meant he had drawn the sword at that point in time.

"About that... well, it's like this," Xin Chen pointed to where his hand was on the screen, "See here, I picked up a weapon."

"A weapon? This weapon doesn't have that strong of a power!"

"That's the principle, though I don't know how to explain it to you, but next time you encounter a Sword Immortal, you must not let them hold their weapon. But typically, a Sword Immortal's sword never leaves their side in their lifetime."

"Then what about when they go to the bathroom?" Gu Tao gestured, "That sword is over a meter long, won't it poke the poop when you squat down?"

Xin Chen had absolutely no idea how to answer that question. Honestly... Before, people only cared whether the Sword Immortals were handsome, but who wondered if they got tired from pooping? Suddenly hearing his junior brother's warm-hearted inquiry, Xin Chen's eyes moistened slightly.

"What's wrong with you..." Gu Tao got goosebumps all over as he saw Xin Chen looking back at him with those moist eyes, and he quickly stepped back two paces, looking at him with a look of fear.

"Junior brother, you are such a caring guy..."

"Get lost! I think you're the one who's sick."

"Here's the thing." Xin Chen took Mengxiong out from his bag and carried it on his back before standing up and pointing at the floor, "At home, it's easy, but what if you're outside? Suppose this is a squat toilet."

As he said this, he walked over to where that squat toilet would be and deliberately slowed down his movements. First, he propped the sword on his shoulder, then, with one hand, he mimicked unfastening his belt, and slowly squatted down, holding the sword to his neck like holding a phone, before pulling out his mobile phone to play as he squatted there, "See? Just like this."

"Ah..." Gu Tao held his forehead with one hand and leaned on the table for support, "I see... That does seem convenient."

"Not really, it's troublesome for female cultivators who have long hair. They have to put up their hair first before squatting down; otherwise, their hair could get into the poop. I find that even more disgusting. When I was a child, I followed the old man to an illegal gathering, and there was a female cultivator whose hair tips were stained with poop. It was so disgusting."

Gu Tao had always only read about how in novels those Sword Immortal women were so elegant, with descriptions of them being like white lotuses emerging from the water or hibiscus flowers naturally formed, but now, suddenly hearing such disgusting details from Xin Chen, the sense of enchantment shattered. It was really too terrible...

"I say..."

"Don't talk about it; I want to throw up." Xin Chen had an even bigger reaction than Gu Tao, heaving dryly a few times before coughing, "It's really disgusting, especially since she wanted to hug me... I was only nine years old at the time. From then on, I've felt particularly uncomfortable when seeing women with long hair."

It seems that this materialist adherent Earth Immortal too had childhood traumas, and the circle of Sword Immortals was not as glamorous to outsiders as it seemed... Thinking about it made him feel a bit uncomfortable too.

However, calling the immortal gathering an illegal meeting must also be why he's a loner; with such an odd personality, probably not many people wanted to hang out with him.

"Also, I have always been puzzled by something," Xin Chen suddenly turned serious, "Can you help me resolve my doubts, senior brother?"

"Go ahead."

"I often see girls with long hair wearing one-piece clothes, and after careful observation, I can't find how they can be opened. There are no buttons or zippers, so how do they go to the bathroom? Especially in places like malls, where there are so many people, what if they can't get to the toilet in time?"

An alien who's technologies were three thousand years beyond Earth, and a local superhero sat together inside a spaceship discussing how girls in one-piece outfits managed to use the restroom. This was really something.

"Sigh... now that you mention it, I've never really investigated it since I do not intend to observe excessively private behaviors," Gu Tao rubbed his chin, "Indeed, how do they do it, strip down?

"But public restrooms are so dirty, what if the clothes touch the ground while taking them off? What if the cuffs or such get stained with the yellow pee on the floor, eeek... so uncomfortable, might as well pee in the pants, at least that's your own."

"Hmm... Satania, print a one-piece outfit."

In just a few seconds, a one-piece popped up on Gu Tao, and really... Seeing this boy with curved eyebrows dressed in such an outfit, it was quite tempting.

"Let's break down the actions," Gu Tao pointed at the outfit on his body, "First, pull down the straps, right?"

"Hmm." Xin Chen tilted his head observing Gu Tao, "Then what, take off the entire upper part?"

Gu Tao indeed took off the upper part of his clothes and then pretended to squat on the ground, "See, you have to hold it the entire time, and it's easy for it to slip out of your hands, it's quite troublesome."

"Exactly, you can't play with your phone while using the bathroom, it's no wonder those women love to dredge up old issues," Xin Chen said as if he had seen through everything.

Gu Tao, however, was confused, "Why?"

"Have you ever had the experience of rushing to the bathroom, taking off your pants, and realizing you forgot your phone, and then you find your memory suddenly gets incredibly sharp? At least I remembered the formula of the shampoo and laundry detergent in the restroom, and that there were one hundred seventy-six seams in the floor tiles. Those girls, every time they go to the bathroom without being able to play with their phones, after they remember the formulas and tile seams, they start reminiscing, and then they start hashing over old issues with their boyfriends, right?"

"That makes sense!"

Gu Tao stood up, pulling the straps back up, "As a sociologist, I failed to consider this aspect; it's a failure."

"No problem," Xin Chen looked like someone who had overcome the issue, "I've only started thinking about this in the past two years."

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I've already signed the contract today, but I won't be on the recommended list until next week; the editor told me not to update too quickly, oh. Come on, everyone, reward me! Stimulate me with money, humiliate me! Oh… I shouldn't say that, as there must be many new readers who may not be accustomed to my style so quickly; I should be more restrained.

Let me repost this.

I hope everyone will vote for me and encourage me more, thank you for your support, muah.