'Did we just get engaged without my knowledge or consent?' Progenitor? Marry you?
Buddy, I'm not flattered if you thought I'm some prime vulpine genetic material, but let's tap the brakes here. I don't care how impressive my tail game is, you can't just ambush a beautiful girl like that.
And… Where's the romance?
The serenading under the full moon?
The customary proposition of plump field mice?
Though my hypothesis… I have to give the sly dog some points for boldness. Most guys wouldn't have the guts to propose to a total freakish, let solo use such a cheesy line.
"I reje-" No sooner did I open my mouth to say those fateful words, than…
—Poof!
We got magically teleported away to what I can only describe as an undersea Game of Thrones set. There I was, flippers flailing, gawking at this massive mermaid auditorium situation happening around me.
Rows upon rows of scaly small-fry, mermaid race, sharks, even octopus, sitting on their small thrones, trying their best to look cool. And right up front?
The big themselves - King Triton and his boo, a gorgeous mermaid, thrusting me the royal once-over.
"What in the underwater hell is going on?" Before I could even get these dialogues out, the queen's making a beeline for me, all smiley.
"Welcome to our house!" She trills, spreading those fins wide.
At this point, I'm just thoroughly confused. The ring that Mother-Fucker slapped on my paw is somehow still there, I give it a pointed look, then sassily sign.
{Why am I here?} With a smooth way, I tossed that sucker to the side with a cold-blooded 'I do NOT care for this cheap jewelry' glare.
"Nooo!" My man, bushy-tailed beau that he is, scrambles to catch it with the most pitiful puppy-dog expression. As I just threw his favorite chew toy off the side of a yacht.
{Listen, I don't know foxes mate or human for life or whatever, but this is overloading my hand to destroy you!} I send voice messages to every living being in this hall.
"... Oh dearie, you simply must try this!" The queen whips out a plant what looks like a giant radish from the Atlantis garden. Now, as a respectable vulpine, I do have certain concerns about gobbling down mystery vegetation willy-nilly.
Could it be poisonous, could it give me wicked seaweed farts… who knows?
So I gave it a sniff, a… lick, Yeah, did my full fox due diligence before deciding it seemed legit.
And you know what? I'm dad-gum glad I listened to my gut and noshed on that plant, because the next thing I know, I'm breathing easy as a fish out of… from the womb.
Turns out it's some sort of magical plant hybrid sci-fi madness; It oxygenates your lungs from H2O for lifetime, if even essential in future.
"For what reason am i present here?'" At long last, the articulation of verbalized communication flowed forth from my mouth, gazing boundlessly into her eyes.
"Entitle me to contribution for the indiscretion of my offspring, whose youthful exuberance led him to adorn your ring finger with a symbolic band of matrimony without first soliciting your permission."
She prostrated herself before me, all her allies mimicking her deferential stance. "I am Tina Lever, and it is a great honor to make your acquaintance, Iris Hope, the deistic goddess of destruction within our celestial pantheon!"
… forsooth! I was gravely solemn, a veritable paragon of seriousness! How do these mortals unmask mine hallowed identity?
If I peruse these vaunted cultivation realms, only the regal sovereigns doth attain the apogee of the harmonization realms while other beastly sorts utilizing beast cultivation art — Are pale in comparison to their majesties.
"How come you know me? And how did you find out my origins about my bloodline?" I massaged my temple with the finesse of one obfuscating their primordial bloodline, Never having encountered merfolks in both life's.
How her scion had espied the cryptic sigils of my lineage coursing through my vascular channels. Since a cultivator hardly could suss off.
"Well, you see, we merfolk have a unique quality that enables us to scrutinize someone's lineage!" Tina lifted her head a little nervously. "Our ancestors foretold a prophecy that… one day a goddess of decimation would manifest in this realm."
"She will liberate us from our affliction, and we must be devoted to her with shoulders and spirit, because she will require formidable allies in the dangerous conflict that looms ahead in future for 5 Heavens."
"Our forebear welcomes us with an illustration as well." She paraded me with a framed depiction.
Seeing it, I expressed my feelings with deadpan eyes. "... Is that really supposed to be me?... Okay course, is there any issue?"
Honestly, after seeing that alleged portrayal, I wanted to introduce my fist to her nose.
But because the only remotely accurate details were my hair and eye color, I didn't do it. The picture displays some buxom female form… with a rather glamor bust region that shall go unmentioned.
Somehow, only the main areas were covered, while the rest was as bare as a newborn baby's backside. My chin looked sharp enough to slice through the world with a mere glance.
… Is this what artistic harassment feels like?
It was as if a toddler with vision troubles had tried doodling my likeness after a few too many juice boxes.
Those foolish cretins... I wanted to beat them to the lovely kiss of oblivion right then and there… but creation of photo… ruled the day for now.
Those finned folk surely know how to roll out the red seaweed carpet for their own kind, treading on everyone else's tails.
I should probably start gathering some intel about this unfamiliar place. It's no mere mirage, but rather a realm that defies conventional logic.
"I see... I'll need proof of your allegiance, my scaly friends. Also, I'm not exactly thrilled about this whole 'future activities' business." Fantasy that's yet to appear just gives me a killer migraine.
Sure, having a sneak peek at the days ahead could be handy, but it also brings a boatload of mental baggage.
I could just smooth out any upcoming turbulence as it arises. Instead of fretting over the future, I'll just go with the flow, one wave at a time.
Then… Tina dropped an unexpected bombshell. "...Ah, but we know where those humans you cherish are being kept captive. We could lend a fin in retrieving them."