I loved stories with princess and princes, dragons and witches. I thought I was different because I liked the princesses more than I liked the prince.
Apparently not.
Many girls and boys like the princess more - but I always thought something was different about me because of it. I didn't like the princess because she had a crown, or because her dress was pretty.
I thought she was pretty.
In my world, my princess would be the exact same as the movie, a girl with long hair and pretty eyes, a big ballgown and a destiny to fulfill.
My princess would treat her people with kindness and fight for her virtues.
My princess would be my queen.
-
Brooke Young was my first love.
An odd person to fall for - we were both girls in the sixth grade. She had crazy frizzy hair and eyes so blue I thought they looked like the blue frosting on a cupcake. I didn't know when it happened, but suddenly I just found myself searching for her.
At lunch, I would find her to sit next to and during silent reading time, she would lay her head on my lap as she read a book.
I would stare at her forehead, her nose, her eyeslashes.
Soon Brooke started dating a boy, in eigth. This was odd because Brooke was a sort of competitive girl and the guy she was dating was Nathan Halle, her 'enemy'.
They would stick their tongues out at each other and call each other stinky. Nathan would run by her and yell, "FATSO!" while Brooke simply swore at him.
I felt really jealous because I didn't know how to make Brooke look at me. It had been years since I began to like her (two years but to me, that's long-) yet a man can take that away so easily.
Everything she did with Nathan I did first. Kissing? We practiced on eachothers arms. Hugging? We spooned at sleepovers! Sharing icecream? Countless times when Brooke didn't have money.
Now me and her have moved on, slowly just walking together through life, elementary, middle and highschool we did with our arms interlinked.
Funny huh? And after all this time, I still search for her brown hair in a crowd of people.
-
"I'm gonna miss you guys." Emma said with that whine in her voice. "We've had so much fun!"
I smiled as I packed my clothes into a suitcase. We were all off to the same university and I wasn't excited.
Both of us sat on her cushy floors, leaning against the wall and picking lint of the floor while we listened to Brooke argue on the phone. She heard nothing that Emma just said, her back turned to us and her legs crossed.
"Do you think she'll miss us?" Emma asked with a smile. Emma has braces, cute braces with heart brackets. "Or will everything be okay with little Halle behind her?"
"Shhh.. If Brooke hears you she'll take our heads." I whispered. Emma giggled into her shirt, pressing her hands to her mouth.
Nathan and Brooke have been arguing for the past week, about silly things they can't agree on. First it was school programs, chores, money.
"Do you want a drink of water?" Emma asked with a sly smile. A hint. She found a hair tie on floor and scooped her blonde hair into a ponytail. "Or maybe you'd like something a bit more dangerous.."
I laughed. "What? Orange juice?"
"Okay, how rude." Emma giggled again. Brooke turned to us and glared.
"Let's give the queen her space." Emma said.
We both silently got up, laughing and walked out of Emma's room, quietly shutting the door.
She took my finger in her hand and led me to her bathroom down the hall, closing the door and locking it.
"I miss you Julie." Emma said, barely a whisper as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "You sure we can't do this anymore?"
I grimaced, not knowing where to put my hands. In my pockets? Or on Emma's waist?
She lowered her head to my collarbone, letting her soft lips slowly kiss my neck. I gasped as quietly as I could.
"I miss you." She whispered, leaning her body close to mine.
Emma and me had a weird thing going on.
It began in eleventh grade, when she snuck into my room late at night. We were both chilling in my bed, me doing homework and her watching a movie.
Brooke was supposed to come over that night, but in the end she went to Nathans. I was feeling out of it and asked Emma if she thought of kissing girls.
What did Emma say? I want to try.
And so we tried.
It was off and on, kissing and making out, at school, at my house, at hers, and anywhere we had privacy.
We agreed to stop, Emma was confused and so was I, both of us had no idea what we wanted.
Now here we are again, hidden away in her bathroom, kissing.
"Emma." She looked up. "I think… I think we aren't meant to do this." Emma tilted her head, her brown eyes stared into mine. "Especially not in your house with Brooke in the other room."
"So it's okay with no Brooke?" She dragged her hand down my back. "I can touch you with no Brooke around?"
I gulped and didn't say anything. I felt indecisive because I like Emma and I don't want this to end. Another part of me yearns for Brooke and I feel like I'm reserving myself for something I will never get.
"I like you Julie. You're cute." Emma whispered. She licked the curve of my neck, kissing and giving soft plucks. "I like your voice and the way you stiff up when I touch you."
My stomach felt like it was on fire.
"Please, when we go to university, let's carry this on, okay?" Emma pushed my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear and letting her hand rest on my cheek. "Okay my Julie?"
All I could do was nod and kiss her back.
-
We both returned awhile later, snacks in hand and juice boxes tucked under our arms. Brooke sat crosslegged on the bed, scrolling through her phone.
"We brought snacks!" Emma yelled. "For celebration!" Brooke grimaced.
"Celebration for what?" She asked.
"For a new found opportunity that is not known yet." I said. "Words of Emma."
She bowed. Brooke just stared.
"Okay.. Anyways." She turned her phone off and stretched her legs. "I need to know what movie we're watching in order to feel at home." She dropped back on her back, arms behind her head.
"I was thinking a 2000s rom-com." Said Emma, bending down to put a movie into her movie player. "Sounds fun."
The movie began to play as Emma turned off the lights. I rested my head on my suitcase as Emma layed across the floor, almost perpendicular to me.
We all said nothing as we watched the movie, the only sound was the croaking of frogs outside and the sound of Emma's anklet jingling as she swung her legs back and forth.