THE FIRST MEETING
As kim walked aways she felt like screaming as her heart was beating fast, and the guy who was responsible for this .. has another woman in his arms right now , kim felt frustrated, but she isn't that navie little girl anymore that will cry over such thing or act reckless. She had learned to control her emotions over the years,
kim walked away with a heavy heart , there was nothing she could do , An tian had forgotten her, though An tian isn't hers, and she knew it well, she is no longer that 14 year old that would cry over such things, thinking she would lose him, when she didn't even own him but still there was pain, jealously, greedy,in her heart.
Kim didn't go home as she knew the moment she stepped into her room, she would see An tian face again, in a photograph which she had painted, it was right over her bed like on the ceiling, it's the first thing she see when she wakes and the last thing she look at before sleeps, maybe that is why she didn't forget him, maybe that is why she still loves him, still obsessed with him, as she sees him every day though it wasn't enough, she still felt like she was looking at him and he is looking at her as she sleeps and so on.
"Within 5 years,he hasn't changed a thing."kim said as she recalled her previous time with him and the time in the past, but unlike him, kim has changed, she was no longer a 14 or 15 year old child , she is now an adult, so she can't blame him if he doesn't remember her as 5 years has turn her into a woman she has never imagined she would be or look like. But most importantly she wasn't naive, she accpet reality, doesn't believe in fair tales her elder sister used to tell her.
while he has forgotten her as she wasn't important to him , probably because he never think of her, probably because of the years that have past, there was so many reasons to why he won't remember her.
"Maybe that is why he doesn't remember me."Kim said to herself out loud as she lay on a bed in a 5-star hotel room, which she worked at . It is actually her main job, but she work at the restaurant as a part-time job after working with them for years , kim grown to like the people she work for and with so she never quit even after getting a higher position in the hotel
"Whatever. i don't care." kim said loudly as her mind stick on fucking An tian, only god knows how much she wants to strangle him. Kiss him.
"Then why are you sulking here."She heard her inner voice.
Kim frowned."I am not sulking. . .I'm just making a point, and it is just because...[ SHE STOP AND SIGHED]"I am now talking to myself, Have i gone crazy after seeing An tian agian?"
She sighed in frustrations as she trys to sleep, but jealousy in her heart made it unbearable to do so. She closed her eyes just to get more reasons to be irritated and frustrated. The image of an hour ago flashed before her eyes as she clenched her hands, As she saw xining and An tian hugging, They seems really close, They even look so perfect together, like God had made them just for each other.
But all of a sudden, that looked in his eyes when he looked at her. it reminded her of that night, and Unknown to her tears rolled down her cheeks
Then she begins to remember how They really met until today.
7 years ago
KIM POV
One evening as the sun set, the clouds begun to get darker, not with because of the sun set but because of the rain, I am sure going it's going fall anytime soon, not that I care, rain is good. The first time I started to love rain, was the day I stand at the cemetery as rain fell hard and breeze blows almost scary, as my brothers lower my elder sister casket into the ground.
LIke I expected, the breeze blows hard, sending a cold shivers down my spines.
My knees feels weak, I have been standing here for almost two hours now. I can't wait to go home into my warm bed.
I look to my side and saw my sister, just by looking at her, I can tell she feels the same way, her face frowns as she hold her baby in her hands. I should help out but I am tired, also lazy. As the rain begins to fall, I turn and look and my niece, she sleeps as her mother try to shield her from the rain, I took of my jacket and cover her up. She looks adorable, her nose shape like Elsa own, her hair is black, short and curly, her skin is more fair then ours and soft, her pink, little lips pout as she snore softly.
Just as rain burst out, harder then before, I flick my hair with my hands over my shoulders as I look down at my black, white, and purple stripes top. It's a short, sleeveless top, one of my favorite top too. It goes matching with my Plain black high waistband jeans.
Keshia my elder sister sighed loudly drawing my attention back to her. She wore black short skirt and a pink top with her baby wearing all over blue. They look beautiful but I am sure that doesn't matter to them now, as they clenched closer to the wall of the shelter, which clearly isn't sheltering good. The sounds Mom voice caught our Attention, I turn to the bridge where most boats park. And as expected mom, Amy and Dad seat in the boat. Amy sleeps in mom hands Covered down in her blanket, as mom shelter with the umbrella in the second seat as Dad sat in the driving seat.
Keshia and I hurriedly walk down to them.
"Where are others?" Keshia question, as she handed 11 months old Nora to Mom as Amy is quite little for a 5 year old, they both fit on mom lap.
Dad then told us, we need more things to shelter, he was sure three or four umbrella won't work as my other siblings had kids and it was alot of us. This is what happens when you are careless, you forget your umbrella and coats and then get a free bath from the rain infront of strangers.
Dad consider buying coats which is too expensive considering there are about ten of us in total and that leaves out Nora and Ethan my elder brother baby son, who is just one week older then Nora. So we settle for less, garbage, the big ones, like what Dad is using, he tare it wide open and have it over his head like some kind of coat.
Well, it saves more money and it is big and long enough for two person.
Keshia didn't want to go to a store, we go top often as she and her friend had a fight and she was sure they would met there as her friend works there, so we went to the next Store over the next side, we cross the road Keshia told me about the next Store that lately open as we headed into a unfamiliar store, two person was at the cashier, talking in their own language which should be some Chinese language. They turn to look at us as we walks in, I am very nervous, I don't know about Keshia but I am always like this, shy and like my own quiet place.
I step back alittle and let Keshia take over, maybe if they weren't looking at us with such interest, I would have questioned them about what we came about but this was too much.
And things gets even weirder when Keshia asked for garbage but they don't understand English. This is the most unusual thing ever.
she asked a few times but their express shows they were confused, my patience was wearing tin, we need to go back, we can't wasted our times here when we should be at other shops looking for a damn Garbage just then the Chine lady came back, I didn't even realize she had left, just when I was about to tell Keshia 'let's go, the most handsome guy walk in, he looks younger then the other two but older then me, Keshia and him must be age-group, somewhere around eighteen or nineteenth.
He looked stunning and when he came out and looked at us, I felt my heart racing. I forgot i was worried a while ago while my dead heart came to live again, beating faster as i began to feel uneasy, and I couldn't deny the fact that he was pretty gorgeous, more like in a boyish way tho.
He stood there looking at with a unreadable expression, his skin white unlike my brown skin, his hair is jet-black and thick.
His eyes were deadly serious and unforgettable Dark, that leads to his nose, it's long and round at the tip.
My eyes moves to his lips. —Light pink, I wonder if it's soft as it looks. I never felt another person lips before but I am kind of interested in what his would feels like…
My eyes flies back to his gaze, his black eyes stare at me. Feeling caught in my first ever fantasy, my cheeks flushed as my breath hitched, feeling like burying myself, I look down then turn to look outside. God what was that about?.
Then I saw the rain and feel the cold breeze on my skin as a silence reminder of what we are really here for. God how can i forget about that. I heard keshia and a unfamiliar voice speaks but I couldn't face them.
Shy, emberessed and uncertain, I was feeling them all.
[ What is wrong with me ] I did my best not to put my hands on my chest.
I turn to look back at them as he give the garbage to Keshia. My eyes follows his every action for some reason, I couldn't help it. He wore a orgen or pink shirt, not that it matter to me anyways but the color was a bit light and he wore white shorts, showing his long legs. Wow. It was simple but still he looks stunning for some unknown reasons.
My hands falls on my hips as i stare at a complete stranger as he talks, what was he saying?.
"Let's go, kim"My sister voice pulls me back from wonder Land.
Seems like she already paid the cashier.
Without a second glance at the guy in front of me, I turn on my heels and left with my elder sister.
The cold weather was comforting for some reasons but my uneasy feeling stayed.
"It's been three years"
"I miss you sis"
"Everything is numb, I can't tell if my heart is even beating when, you are not here" Her voice echos in her head.
"She needs help" The therapist voice rings in her ears.
Even as the rain falls hard,almost hurting our skin and filled the busy streets with cars and echos of the rain drops, my sister concerns voice reaches me.
"Are you okay kim?" She questioned.
I nodded." Mmm-hmm, I am good, why did you ask?"I question as my botten lips tremble slightly.
"You look, like you were about to have a heart attack a moment ago,"she said grinning but concerns was still lingering.
I smile for the first time, It didn't felt forced. Me?,having heart attack, no way. But the fact that it is almost true, sent shivers down my spines.
"I am really fine, Keshia,"I said even though there had been alot on my mind lately, I was fine. However she give me a un convincing glance to which I ignored.
"Though, we are not close, we are sisters, you can tell me anything and I will take it to my grave, she said.
"Not matter how, we are sisters"lovie said with a hopeful expression.
"I will take it to my grave" her voice plays in my head like a broken record.
"I don't know what it is" I explain as my eyes clouded with tears, for once after three years, I let myself believe, she was here.
She got every answer to my question.
I let myself forget that, I saw her lying in a casket.
My foot felt numb and my chest tighten as I look away, knowing if I look up at the person infront me, I'd be disappointed to see, she isn't here.
"I don't know what it is, " i repeated confused but this time for keshia to hear, not my other sister.
"For example, your heart race ten times faster then normal,"28 years old lovie said as she runs her fingers through my hair.
"you will feel butterfly in your stomach, you miss them when your away from them.
"Sometimes, it feels like a bunch of fireworks, just exposing in your heart.
" wow, that seems dangerous?" I said.
"Oh, yes, it is dangerous when only one of you feel this way,"she said before letting out a soft giggle, making me Smile.
"One day, you will Understand Kim"She said laying a soft kiss on my forhead and I nod.
"What did falling in love with Brother in-law felt like?"My eight year old self question.
"It felt like a lot of things but when I layed in his arms…It felt like home, it felt like, after so long of searching, I am finally home, I can rest assured that I will be fine, I am fine and sometimes just looking at him is enough to make me smile, he is the next level of all my dreams. It makes me feels whole and my heart freaks out at just the thoughts of him alone. . . I don't know if he leaves one day, what I will do but I am sure he isn't going anywhere soon because he loves me too…"
"Brother in-law really loves you, But I love you more, even if he leaves you one day, I will be here, and you will spend the rest of your life with me,"Eight year old me said feeling somewhat happy.
"Hehe, You are too jealous, princess. Travis and I aren't breaking up any times soon."lovie said seeing right through my plans. Is it bad to be happy that, your elder sister will be single again and be able to spend the rest of her time with you.
"But I am happy to know that you will be there for me, it means alot, princess,"She said
"I will always be here for you elder sister"
"I know and just so you know, I will always be here too even when I leave for the Canada next week, I am always here for you, in spirit…"
"You mean like a ghost?"I asked terrified.
Her laughters filled the room.
It was like a fairy-tale, where you married the prince and the wicked people get what the deserve and you life happily ever after.
There was no happy ever after as live goes on even when you are long forgotten.
I used to believe that one day love will find me but the truth remains, everything comes to an end.
we run down to the boat in a hurry, seeing my third elder brother Dwayne standing in the rain by the boat in his black jeans and blue shirt.
Nick the second eldest stood aside him, wearing a sky blue jeans and a gray shirt. They both have their back facing us, but from a distance you could see the difference, Nick even though he is the second eldest, he is shorter then others.
He is darker too, his gold hair wet and messy on his head just as Dwayne black ones.
Even in the dark. I could tell Dwayne is grinning, after all even if he is having the worst day ever. He is still up to make jokes.
"You guys looks like shit"He said and that pull my attention to my hair. Talking about wet and messy, as it's long and curly, it definitely look crazy and all of a sudden i felt insecure about how i looked, it never matter before.