Idol.
You may have thought this at least once every time you see an idol singer who not only graces various media outlets but also promotes POP culture around the world.
'How did they succeed?'
Experts point out their visuals, singing ability, dancing, and entertainment skills as the reasons for their success. Of course, this is not an accurate analysis.
There is no law that skill is directly related to popularity.
However, it is true that the more talented you are, the higher your chances of success.
Why are you telling this story?
That's because I have a talent.
A very special talent that no one else has.
***
"yes?"
My head was pounding.
I was called to the office at the top of the headquarters and asked in a dumbfounded voice the story that seemed like a lightning strike.
"I beg your pardon?"
"It's just as you heard."
I could only gape at the sight of the director adjusting his glasses with an embarrassed expression on his face.
"therefore…You want me to leave the company?"
"I'm not saying you should leave the company. To be precise, it means that you will left out of the debut group."
"why?"
I couldn't understand it.
"Why was I left out of the debut group?"
"It's space."
"No, you said three weeks ago that I eas confirmed as a debutant. You said that the group name was also confirmed as TNTN. But now, suddenly..."
"Debut can fail at any time. Universe, this floor is like that. You know that no one can feel at ease until they debut perfectly. Even when you were seniors, things like this were common."
It wasn't wrong.
MJ Entertainment.
MJ Entertainment, commonly referred to as one of the top four entertainment companies in India, is an entertainment agency nicknamed the industry's leading idol company by debuting leading boy and girl groups since the 2000s.
When we look at the cases of senior groups that produced that many idol groups and debuted at MJ Entertainment, it was actually not uncommon for members to change at the last minute.
But I didn't know it would be my story.
"It can be difficult to understand. I know. but… "
"Is it because of the dancing?"
There was no answer, but it was a positive enough answer.
"There was a planning team meeting not long ago, and there was a lot of talk. I think the choreography balance is not right of TNTN. I am of the opinion that if we debut like this, the team color will also be affected."
"… … ."
"Me and the head of management said we would keep an eye on it since we were friends with potential, but it was a decision made by my higher-ups, so I can't do anything about it."
It is only one person above the director.
Chairman Nitesh Pandey.
The CEO of MJ Entertainment and the hand of Midas, a renowned figure in the entertainment industry.
The CEO of this company decided to eliminate me from the debut group, but I had nothing more to say.
"It's a shame, Raj."
It felt like the sky was falling.
A feeling that cannot be explained by anything.
The company I had devoted nearly 6 years to, and was about to debut, was trying to fire me.
Along with saying that there are defects in selling our products.
I felt sick.
My fever rose sharply, my face felt hot, and my internal organs seemed to be twisted.
The cucumbers I ate for diet rose up to my throat and then went down.
The director gave me a sympathetic look as I tried to calm my ragged breathing.
"Are you okay?"
What was unfair was that I couldn't refute anything.
Because what the company said was true.
Trainee Raj Morningstar.
A trainee whose singing skills are good, but whose dancing skills aren't good enough, not it will shame to call not good enough it's Worst. I was barely able to hanging in company as months-end revaluation comes.
Therefore, it was not strange for me to be eliminated because I could not dance.
But no matter how true it was, I couldn't help but feel angry.
If this was going to be the case, they shouldn't have selected me for the debut group in the first place.
I took a profile picture, unpacked my luggage at the dorm with the debut group members, and now you're telling me to leave?
It was an infuriating thing.
"It's worst." I muttered under my braith.
"sorry."
I grabbed a tissue and dabbed my eyes because the tears were flowing without me knowing.
Is it because I burst into tears once?
Tears continued to flow.
This is the first time I have cried in front of others like this since my grandmother was sick.
After doing that for a while, I felt like I was calming down a bit, so I took a deep breath and sat down calmly.
"Are you feeling better now?"
"yes."
The director had a calm face.
But...
For someone who fires trainees every
month, my tears might be a common sight for him.
"Then…"
My voice came out completely muffled.
"What happens to me?"
"You have three options."
The director explained.
"The first thing is to get out of the idol trainee side and move on to the actor side."
"An actor?"
Why are you suddenlyn telling me to be an actor?
"This is an opinion from the management department, but although you lack dancing, you have excellent visuals. You also tend to accept cameras well. There were many comments that it was a waste of your looks and they suggested that you can be an actor.
The director smiled and said, as if trying to lighten the mood.
"If we've already come to this, why don't we move on to the actor side? We've recruited a lot of actors over the years, so we've accumulated a lot of know-how. Soon, we will also be producing our own movies and drama at the company level. If you do it, we are willing to provide a lot of support at the company level."
"What about the second?"
"If you still want to become an idol, I can connect you with another agency."
"Another agency?"
"Companies like ldol rising or NDS that are close to our company but are small in scale."
To put it simply, it was a story about small
and medium-sized agencies.
He continued.
"If you don't like these things, well…In the end, we have no choice but to terminate the contract."
In the end, they were told to choose one of three options: stay and move on to becoming an actor, go to another company and prepare to become an idol trainee, or cancel the contract.
I asked.
"If I go to another company, will I be able to debut?"
"That's up to you."
The director smiled vaguely.
In the end, they told me to go to another company and start over again.
I burst into laughter without realizing it.
"We will respect whatever you choose, but we would prefer you to be an actor…
" … ."
The director said something, but I didn't hear it.
I was just dazed.
Even if the Earth were to be destroyed tomorrow, it wouldn't be any more realistic.
All these thoughts come to my mind.
Is this a true story?
Am I really going to be cut from the debut group?
What should I say to my grandmother?
What should I do if I feel embarrassed when unpacking my luggage from the accommodation?
What have you really been doing here for 6 years, huh Raj?
Like a stem growing from a seed, my thoughts branched out here and there, becoming more complex in my head.
When I finally got my thoughts together, I decided.
"Director."
"Have you decided?"
"yes."
It was a decision I was sure to regret later.
"contract…I will cancel."
* * *
"…It's been long day and night."
"…"
"Hey, Raj."
"…"
Someone shook my shoulder.
Looks like I fell asleep.
When I came to my senses, I saw a young man looking at me worriedly from the driver's seat.
A man wearing glasses.
Minus the skin color and beard, the face is exactly the same as the ghost in the book "Math Ghost" that I read when I was young.
Raju Shah...
This is someone I have had a long relationship with.
This is someone I have had a long relationship with.
His title is Assistant Manager of the management team who manages the trainees.
A look of concern appeared on his face.
"are you okay?"
"I'm sorry, bro. I guess I dozed off."
"It's in front of the accommodation. You have to wake up."
The place where the car stopped was an apartment complex in Marinlines
This is the dormitory of the boy group TNTN, which I was a member of.
I canceled my contract with the company and came here to unpack my luggage.
The Carnival driven by Raju's was the company's last consideration.
"That's funny."
"what?"
"When my debut was confirmed, I felt like I was in heaven, but now I feel like I'm standing at the gates of hell."
Raju couldn't answer anything.
"What about the others? They're not at the dorm, right?"
"Everyone is at the training center at this time."
"Well, I guess They are busy practicing choreography."
It already feels like someone else's story.
The kids probably thought I was briefly called out for an issue such as taking a profile photo.
Raju asked, adjusting his glasses.
"Are you really going to leave without saying anything?"
"It's going to be uncomfortable for both of us."
"Still, there is a lot of affection between you and the group, Those kids will be very disappointed. Especially if Lucas finds out that you left without telling him..."
"Raju."
My voice came out locked.
"I'm sorry, but I don't think I have the time to worry about other people's feelings right now."
"sorry."
"What are you sorry about? I'll quickly pack my bags and come out."
I quickly got out of the passenger seat because I thought it would be awkward if I stayed there.
17th floor apartment.
The elevator going up to the accommodation went straight up without stopping even once.
"…"
Inside the accommodation.
As expected of an 8-member group, there were hangers lined up in the living room, and there were clothes all over them.
I quickly went into the room and packed my luggage.
Since I had not yet packed all my clothes from my home in Delhi, I did not have much to take with me.
A family photo taken with my parents when I was a baby.
And some clothes.
Lastly, training clothes that are musty because they haven't been washed.
As I packed my bags and came out, I was overcome with emotion.
I bit my lip to stop the tears from flowing out.
It was when I got back to the car and was holding back my tears.
Raju asked worriedly.
"Where are the accommodations? Do you have somewhere to stay today?"
"well…"
"Shall I let you sleep at my house?"
"it's okay. I don't want to cause trouble to your family."
"I'm independent, man."
"I hate it even more when you're alone."
Raju laughed lightly at my joke.
"I'm going down to Delhi, bro."
"I see, what about Mumbai school?"
"I dropped out so I could focus on my debut team."
The company told me not to do that and that it wasn't necessary, but at that time, I only wanted to focus on my debut.
Stupid Raj.
"What about your grandmother?Did you tell her"
"Not yet."
"She must be very worried…"
"What she's worried about? I'm sure she swearat me or have a bowl of refreshing food.
"You son of a bitch, I knew you would do that."
I shuddered when I remembered my grandmother's loud swear words.
Still, I won't have to worry about starving.
My grandmother is not the chairman of an entertainment company, but she is the owner of a restaurant that cooks amazingly.
"Are you really going to quit?"
"huh."
As I rolled down the car window, the spring breeze rushed in and tickled my hair.
"I think you are making too extreme a decision. You need to take some time and think about this kind of thing a little more slowly. Is there only idols celebrities in world? There are so many different paths. There are actors and there are models."
"Why does it seem like you are more disappointed then me?"
"of course. If I had your face I wouldn't do this type of job. I would probably be an actor for sure."
"Do I look that good?"
"Look in the mirror, man."
"There are so many handsome and pretty people in the world."
Raju chuckled as if it made no sense.
When I was a new trainee, Raju Shah was the youngest member of the management team.
The bond we built over the six years we spent together was not small.
However, Raju was the youngest among them and became the assistant manager.
I am still a trainee in my later years.
I said with a smile.
"I don't want to be a celebrity anymore."
"why?"
"just. Should I call it reality awareness time? I think I'm tired of preparing for this for 6 years."
"Then what are you going to do next?"
"well…"
Perhaps because of the warm spring energy, the streets of Marinlines were crowded with people. I opened my lips while looking at the scenery outside the window.
"I guess I'll try to live a normal life. I study and go to college, and come out to see the cherry blossoms in spring. Try dating too. When the time comes, maybe I'll get married and live a normal life with my family."
Raju just chuckled at those words.
"I didn't know that you wanted to be merry someone."
"Hahah, Hey, Every guy's dream is to have a beautiful wife that is waiting for him at home." I laugh and said back to him.
"I guess that's true, there's this woman in managing team that I like, maybe I should ask her to be my girlfriend."
"You should ask her before she end up with someone else" I said with smrik on my face.
"Oh, I will do that."
The awkward air around us vanished as we continue our ligh hearted jokes to each other.
Even my mood slowly become normal as car comes to the Stop.
When I arrived at the express bus terminal, Raju handed me a business card.
"Take it."
"huh?"
"You may be having a hard time right now and not making the right decisions. You can say that you're going to quit being an idol and all. But I really don't know what people do. So, if you change your mind..."
"Can I call this number?"
"Yeah."
Raju smiled and held out his hand.
"Goodbye."
"See you later."
After shaking hands, I got out of the car.
With one backpack on.
I caught a glimpse of the car leaving behind a long trail of exhaust fumes and looked around before entering the terminal.
It was spring everywhere.
From the people's clothes to the flowers around, everything was spring..
"Ah, the weather is nice."
I entered the terminal looking at the clear sky.
Then I thought.
I said that i would never be associated with an idol again in the future.
But that was my mistake.
Because three years later, my life changed.