"Behind the door to the left, two more,"
Starlight Glimmer nodded her head as she opened the door to her left, her horn already shooting two beams of magic at the Pirates who stood there.
"Eh? What?!" They yelled as the magic enveloped them, soon finding themselves floating outside the ship, gravity taking hold of their bodies as they plummeted into the salty waters down below.
"You know, You could at least try to look like you're enjoying yourself- Wow this popcorn is bad- it's getting kind of boring just seeing you teleport every one of them out of the ship, where's the action?" Starlight Glimmer took a deep breath before she turned to stare at one of two silver orbs following her.
"Maybe I'd look like I'm having fun if I wasn't being used as a magical taxi service most of the time when things like this happen," She complained to her boss, the silver orb shifting side to side as if it was thinking something over.
"You know, You could also just ignore all the pirates and head straight to the bridge," Blueblood's voice echoed around her as the silver orb bounced up and down in midair.
"But I can't, You said I need to reach the bridge without teleporting myself and to take down as many pirates as I can along the way," Starlight pointed out how she can't ignore the pirates, by Blueblood's own words no less.
"Good observation skills Starlight," Blueblood applauded her, "If you actually did do that I would have docked your pay,"
"You don't pay me," Starlight pointed out.
"Haha, Sometimes you make me laugh, Starlight. However, this isn't as enjoyable as I assumed it to be, so just get to the bridge and teleport to you when you're there, I've had enough of this vacation."
"...You sure? I thought you wanted to sit back and do nothing-"
"Teleport to the bridge," Blueblood ordered her, and Starlight dropped her previous orders and teleported to the bridge of the ship with a pop of turquoise magic.
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Prince Blueblood took a look at the bridge of the ship, ignored the unconscious ponies lying on the floor, and took a seat at the Captain's chair.
"Ladies and gents, this is Prince Blueblood speaking," He said as he pushed the button to activate the comm system of the ship, "I am currently commandeering this vessel under the authority given to me by the Salty Ropes Act of 785 under Equestrian Law for Naval emergencies, And bringing us back to the land, if you or a loved one are currently being held hostage by a Pirate, please stay calm and do not panic, professional help is on the way," He briefly shut the comms off before he turned to Starlight, "Go through each room and get rid of these pirates, I can deal with things here,"
Starlight nodded her head before teleporting away.
Blueblood turned the comms back on, "Passengers who have been harmed or injured by the event that happened today, will be happy to learn that the Crown will be paying for any medical treatment or lost luggage, please check in with your local governing body to see how you can be helped," And with those words out, he turned off the comms and started steering the ship back to shore.
He didn't get a nautical science degree just to sit on it, He's a legally recognized Captain.
"You!" Suddenly, the door to the bridge burst open, a loud voice calling out to Blueblood.
"Me?" Blueblood lazily raised an eyebrow at the figure that shouted at him.
"You! Prince of Equestria! I, Xue Huanxing! The Bloody Wake! Captain Blake! challenge you to a-" The figure, a tall Royal Kirin with almost flaming red hair, was interrupted as a beam of blue magic hit him in the face, the force of the beam pushing him through the wall behind him and sending him flying off the ship, into the water below.
"Don't care," Blueblood turned away from the hole he made in the ship and returned to lazily steering the multi-million bit Cruise Ship back to Equestria.
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"Prince Blueblood! Is it true that you fought off the captain of the pirates on your lonesome?!" A Pony shouted a question as she shoved a microphone into Prince Blueblood's path of walking once he stepped off of the ship.
"Yeah, sure," Blueblood said with a simple smile before he moved away.
"Prince Blueblood!" Another journalist called out to him, "How did you defeat fifty pirates simultaneously, can you share with us your secrets to success?"
"Eat your vegetables," Blueblood winked at the camera mare behind the news stallion.
"Prince Blueblood! What are your thoughts on Countess Coloratura's newest album?" A third journalist asked.
"Overrated, the songs lack any depth or soul to them, it's obvious from just a single listen that she didn't write these songs herself, but had a team of corporate writers do it for her. I don't enjoy artists selling out their talent for bits, it was a four out of ten album, Crying for a Rainbow is still easily her best album to date, and this new Glitter for Rust is most likely going to be her lowest-rated album yet, I do hope she finds it in her to write songs with actual soul to them, otherwise I don't think she's going to be remembered in the same way Golden Maple and the Seedy Bunch were, Now their songs had Soul to them, not this 'Safe pop' that Coloratura is singing nowadays," He gave his thoughts about the album before he moved on.
"Everybody! The Prince has a very busy schedule, please move away and let him through!" Starlight Glimmer shouted over the crowd of journalists as the duo pushed their way toward a magical carriage carried by four royal guards.
"Thank you Starlight," Blueblood nodded to his bodyguard as the duo entered the carriage, placing their luggage on the floor, Comet the Plunderseed was curled up and sleeping on top of one of the suitcases.
And the carriage was off.
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"I had two entire weeks planned out, but now we're going to go back to the castle and do nothing over there," I spoke out loud, poking Comet with my hoof as I stared out of the window of the carriage.
"You know..." Starlight spoke up, "I think I know why your luck is so terrible,"
"Oh? Do tell,"
"Well... Your Cutie Mark talent is finding what you're looking for, even if you don't really know where it is, when you think about it in a way, It's just Luck, You get really lucky and find the thing you were searching for," Starlight Glimmer explained, "And so, in order to somehow counteract all the luck that your Cutie Mark talent is giving you, Harmony, or some other governing power of magic, made it so whenever your Cutie Mark isn't searching for something, you'll be unlucky,"
"...Starlight?"
"Yes Blueblood?"
"That is the dumbest thing I think you've ever said," I told my only friend.
"Well, at least my theory is better than 'Your luck just sucks'" She crossed her legs and smiled victoriously.
I had no argument to what she said, so I just returned to poking Comet.
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Exiting the carriage outside the gates of Canterlot Castle, Blueblood levitated the suitcases to a nearby maid, the sleeping Plundervine hanging on to the suitcase like some sort of grotesque cat.
"Wait! Prince Blueblood!" Before Blueblood could step through the gate and finally enter the castle grounds, he stopped and turned to see a unicorn mare run up to him, Her coat was a pale green and her mane a brownish orange, with a Camera hanging on to her neck and Cutie Mark of a Ladybug.
"Yes? Are you another Journalist?" The Prince raised an eyebrow before he waved his bodyguard away, letting his friend carry her own suitcases back to her room before he turned to give his full attention to the new mare.
"Yes! Independant! Sorry for bothering you, Heehehehee-" The mare giggled, her voice cracking for a moment before she composed herself, "I wanted to ask you some questions, but I wasn't sure how to get to you,"
"Of course, I'm always happy to answer questions for indie reporters," He smiled at the camera, the mare giggled once more, her voice cracking again.
"So, I'm sorry if this sounds weird, but... A tropic beach, a crystal clear lake, or a desert oasis?" She asked with a smile, her green eyes staring straight into his icy blue.
"...I'm sorry, what is the question?" Blueblood asked the mare to repeat herself as he took a wary step back from the journalist.
"I didn't ask? Oh, Heeheheheehaha, I meant to ask where our wedding should be?" The mare's eyes seemed to stare directly into his soul, unblinking, as if in a trance.
The Prince took another step away from the journalist before his eyes widened, as if in recognition. The mare, seeing the realization hit the prince, started the next step of her plan.
Before the Prince had time to pull off a makeshift shield, a beam of green magic escaped from the mare's horn and enveloped the prince.
Seeing the magic hit its mark, the mare teleported away before the nearby royal guards could tackle her, a manic smile on her face.
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My body was flipping in midair as I tried to orient my fall with my magic, landing on my side on a pile of leaves, I took a quick look at my surroundings.
And smirked.
"You know, I just wanted a week to pass where nothing crazy happens," I started to jump in place, switching from my front and back legs, left and right, high and low, I stretched my body, feeling the smirk on my face twisting into a wider and wider smile.
I watched as the mare from before teleported into the clearing in front of me, her smile matching mine with its manic intensity.
"I'M GOING TO ENJOY TURNING YOUR HEAD INTO A SMEAR ON THE GROUND!" I screamed with a smile, my eyes not leaving the mare's even as her body was consumed by green flames.
"CHRYSALIS!!!"
The Changeling Queen laughed hysterically at me, her green mane still cut short from out last interaction, her legs having been grown back smoother than before, tentacles of green slime seemed to extend from behind her green mane like a weird magical braid, levitating in an invisible wind.
Chrysalis opened her mouth and yelled "I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY! MEANWHILE! I'LL BE MAKING YOU MY LOVELY LITTLE SLAVE!!!"
"BLUEBLOOD!!!"
No more words needed to be said. I wanted to fight her. She wanted to fight me.
It was only natural what happened next.
My hoof met her cheek, her hoof met mine, and the two of us started beating each other as if we were wild monkeys arguing over the last banana.
And this time, I was going to make sure to finish the job.
"!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"