[KIYOMI]
"You have to leave, don't you?" Kiyomi asked softly. She had expected this and yet at the same time, a part of her had hoped that she could buy herself time. She wanted to stay beside Sakura for the longest time, but they had lived before each other.
She was a doctor, one whose life had been fucked up, but also a doctor whose life had been made better by the beautiful girl she had beside her. Sakura had fixed so much and made sure that she would be safe even when she was away.
Of course, over the months, Kiki had thought that it was just for the both of them to lead better and simpler lives with peace, but then wherever Sakura Watanabe was, peace was somewhat an illusion they had to deal with eventually.
It wasn't something within reach all the time because of how cruel the Lycan queen was. She was still as harsh, but never to Kiyomi or Elif. It was almost like for the first time in forever, the Lycan queen had something to love, to protect, and to never lose.
"I will come back, I swear it," Saki said earnestly. She had loved being with Kiyomi; hell, she wanted to make sure that her erasthai was happy inside her, but they both knew that there was more to their lives than just packing and leaving.
Sakura was the mad Lycan queen who never loved rogues. She imprisoned them and made them suffer to their deaths, and yet in all of that the universe had given her a rogue that she couldn't afford to lose. Oh, the irony of it all.
"I should have expected this… I just hoped that it wouldn't be too soon," Kiyomi said in earnest and Saki felt like her heart was about to weep for the woman she had fallen in love with.
She had never been the one to say goodbyes, hell, she never had anything or anyone to say goodbyes to, so this was just a little too strange, even for her. It was like the world was not hers to conquer anymore but what was the essence of goodbyes even then?
"Oh, petal. Is that why you never told me about the time lapses?" Sakura asked. She knew what the answer to that was, and while she had been angry that she had missed so much time, and couldn't remember, right now, she needed Kiki to say something.
She was desperate for the woman to say that she missed her, that she had wanted Saki to stay longer, that she had needed Sakura around her because she loved her. It was a new feeling for Saki and she was worried she wouldn't ever be enough for Kiki.
This was her chance to remind herself that life hated her, or that maybe, along the way, there was something worth holding on to; that maybe at the end of the day, she wouldn't have to be the one suffering for things that she can't control.
The thought of having Kiki by her side always was so inviting and Sakura wanted to entertain it. She wanted to stay on the same side, but even she knew that life was never going to be that simple for her.
She was a queen and the love of her life was a misfit, an outcast wanted by so many, most of whom the queen had murdered and triggered a chain of reactions. This was just what many would think was impossible, but was it?
"Yes. I know it wasn't fair to you, but I just… I wanted to be with you. I loved being yours, and not having to share you with the other pets. I was selfish for thinking that it would always be just me and you.
"I wanted that for us, I was desperate for it to be a reality, but then the truth would always come back to haunt me. Despite the little love and the moments we shared, to the kingdom, I would always remain the pet that signed the contract.
"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make it sound like that, but it is the tr—" Kiyomi rambled only for Sakura to interrupt her with a fierce kiss. It was dominant, one that spoke so many things that they both couldn't spell out.
This kiss was different from all their kisses and the best part of it was that it didn't feel like goodbye. This was something that was new to the both of them, even as they let themselves be consumed in the kiss that would probably be the last for them.
It was a heartbreaking one, but as they held onto each other, lips moving in sync like they were made for each other, they seemed happier. They may have closed their eyes, but they could feel every emotion of the other.
"You're mine, petal. I love you. I live for you. I may not have the best track record, but I swear I'll fix it for you. I will be someone worthy of your love and attention. I won't let anyone come between us, love," Sakura said once they pulled back.
Their foreheads were still close, as they breathed each other in. The cinnamon scent had gotten potent in the air and it was so beautiful that the warmth around them intensified tenfold. It was a beautiful moment, a truth they could live in, even just then.
"I love you too, baby. But there is a life back home that is waiting for you. The people of Doiwa still expect you to be the queen they knew, the one who made the Lycans untouchable.
"You can't just let that go because of one rogue Lycan who hasn't been home for so many years, Saki. I have already accepted that loving you is something that I'll probably do for the rest of my life, no matter what happens," Kiki reminded softly.
She had always hated goodbyes and the madness that lingered when they were done and dusted. Goodbyes were sketchy, they were cruel and there wasn't a thing that could convince Kiyomi Kimura that goodbyes ever meant well.
Then again, her entire family was put down like dogs even without so much as a goodbye or a last message. This was a horror that she had lived in for years and escaping just wouldn't make her feel any better. Perhaps time was fucking her up again, right?
"Whatever is mine is yours, Kiki. You are my petal, the love of my life. If the kingdom will stand against us, then I'll burn it down for you. I don't care what anyone back in Doiwa thinks of what we have become right now.
"The only thing that matters to me is you, and you alone. Everything else can wait," Saki said in earnest and Kiyomi felt like she was getting gut-punched once again. She had fallen in love with the impossible and she shouldn't have let herself get attached.
But then Saki had been nothing but the best mate for her.
"What if it never happens again?" Kiki asked like she already knew what Doiwa was like. The Lycans would never accept the fact that the queen had a rogue for an erasthai. It is just unheard of and it went against everything Doiwa stood for.
"Then mark me. I want everyone to know that I belong to you, Petal," Sakura stated casually and Kiyomi stepped back.