[SAKURA]
The lightning strikes and thunderstorms above her were the reminder that she had made it home after the long walk on the dusty Odanera roads.
It was a common occurrence in her kingdom, and she had never paid attention to the rain or even the environment around her. All she had ever cared about was her duties and responsibilities and yet as the rain hit her so hard, she couldn't help but be thankful.
It had been over three hours since she had said goodbye to her erasthai. Hours that she had spent on the road instead of the portal she had created when she was in Kiki's apartment.
And now she was right in the middle of the Doiwa forest; the most dangerous forest in the entire realm. A forest that harbored the worst of devils, and that held the key to all the chaos in the universe. And she knew that too.
She had made it so anyway.
Here and now, she was just a girl who had her heart ripped out from her chest with the last goodbye she had said to her mate, and she despised the fact that nothing was making it any better. Even in the rain that hit her so harshly, she was still thinking of Kiki.
The girl in the human apartment block had consumed her thoughts and the cold weather wasn't even enough to numb them for her. Maybe in this forest, she would meet an end that would be befitting of the heartache she was feeling, right?
In that moment, as her bare feet found their way in the deep muddy puddles that probably had poisonous snakes, she wished that this was the end for her, and that the cruel creatures that lived in the forest would come for her as a lonely girl alone in the world.
She just wanted to forget so badly that she forgot that no matter how dangerous the residents and creatures of the forest were, none of them would ever match up to the danger that she was.
'A girl could hope,' she sighed as she wished for the impossible. The fact that she could feel eyes on her, yet the hair behind her back didn't even stand was not what she needed. She wanted to be normal, but normal always got people living cruel lives.
She would never be normal, that was one truth that would always haunt her. Perhaps that was why she used her powers to increase the intensity of the pouring rain and lightning strikes. She needed to be alone in her pain and to let her tears flow freely.
She wanted her cries to not be heard by anyone other than herself. She wanted a chance at privacy in the one place that people would forever be wary of even if she didn't pose a danger to them.
'I miss you so badly it hurts,' she whispered to herself as she walked the roads to her place. There was only so long that she could stay in the forest before she raised unnecessary alarm given her servants would come to her instantly.
She knew they knew she was back home, that they were preparing to come for her in the rain, and that they were probably armed with warm clothes for her to change into, not to mention a carriage that had hot food for her.
She was aware that the walk from the forest to the Doiwa palace was too long and that her servants would definitely carry along a few pets who would be tasked with giving her erasure. Oh, she knew it all so well it broke her heart.
All she wanted was the girl she had just left…The girl who made her heart beat and the girl who made her the happiest woman in the realm. She wanted Kiki to be here with her in every way, yet deep down she also knew that it was impossible.
She had left and she didn't know whether she would see her again.
Granted, she had made the promise of forever and coming back to her, but then what was she supposed to come back to? She was a queen and her erasthai was a rogue who could reject her by then.
"Life is truly shit," she laughed humorlessly in defeat as the lighting strikes got harsher. She loved the way the skies opened to shout at her and hit her as if to remind her that he had made the worst decision any erasthai would ever have made.
It wasn't even a lie anymore.
She had made a terrible decision and she wouldn't be surprised that the universe faulted her for whatever the fuck was about to happen. Perhaps she just had to make her peace with the fact that nothing would be the same.
"Your majesty," a familiar worried voice snapped her out of her thoughts of the most beautiful doctor she had ever seen and wanted for herself. However, even then, she kept walking in the direction of the place. She needed to whiten her thoughts anyway.
"Your royal highness," the voice spoke again and she knew who was seeking her out from her thoughts. She knew he had braved the rain and cruel weather just to tell her and she knew that he had to come alone.
But she wanted to be alone.
She needed to be alone, because that was the only part of life that she could relate to the pretty doctor she had left in the human realm. She wanted to go back to Odanera and take care of her doctor, but that was a pipe dream for her.
She couldn't go back without putting her in danger. She couldn't go back without raising questions, and she wouldn't go back without letting people know that she was going for their queen, the woman who was known to many as her pet.
It would be a strange siege as she was never one to get attached to pets, but how would she let them know that this one was special, that she had found her way into her cold heart and found a hole in it? Oh, but it was a lot for her.
"Queen Sakura, are you alright?" Otaru questioned respectfully as he dared to stand right in front of the queen, an action that not only got the servants gasping in shock, but that also got the creatures in the frost holding their breaths for the man.
What he did was something that no one had ever done, let alone gotten away with in any universe. Well, the Lycan in Odanera had done that to her countless times and yet she had fallen in love each time. Would that be the case with her enforcer?
"You all have one minute," was all that she let out boredly as she stood in the rain. She didn't want to move any further and she didn't want to acknowledge her enforcer, even though she had seen the worry that was obvious on his face and even in his voice.
He had every right to worry about her and she wouldn't fault him for that, but right now, she was worried about the love of her life, the woman she was willing to burn down Doiwa for without question. Maybe that made her an insane queen, but wasn't she always?
"You heard her majesty!" Otaru reiterated and soon enough, there were hands on the queen's body, changing her out of her wet clothes, while the servants worked around getting her into warmer clothing.
The brain was harsh, making it hard for them, but they had their magic to keep her warm even then. They only had a minute and if that was over before they were done and she was in her carriage, their heads would roll.
And so, she kept her stance, feeling the hands on her body and the countless choices around her, the remainder of her royalty and status. She didn't like their hands on her, because she only wanted her hands on her.
She wanted the good doctor to be the one to do this for her and yet even that was not going to be possible for the longest time. It was a reality that she would forever hate until she found a loophole. Maybe that was why she was patient with her servants.
"All done, Your Majesty," Otaru said respectfully as he looked at the minute glass that one of the servants was holding. He hoped that the queen could day more to the, but instead, she just walked towards the carriage that was waiting to take her home.
In the carriage, everything was just as she had expected. There were people waiting for her, ready to pleasure her and ready to be used by her as she wished. It was something that they took great pride in but she wasn't interested this time.
"Get the fuck out," the queen said to the pets ad servants in the carriage. This was the first time that this shit was happening, and while they were surprised that she wanted to be alone, none of them had the mind to ask her shit.
They knew she would kill them for questioning her, so they stayed silent as they stepped out hurriedly into the rain that was crueler than ever. She bothered to look at them even when the last of them stepped out and the carriage doors minced again.
"Hurry the fuck up," she growled lowly, her disinterest showing.
"You heard the queen!" Otaru reiterated as he walked alongside them.
He knew that something had happened to his queen and he wasn't going to ask at that moment. Maybe at a later time, because the only thing that matters right now, was to get home.
But would home ever be home for her again?