Naruto felt good. He felt really good. He didn't know why he felt so good but he was warm and comfortable. He knew he was waking up but it felt like he was still dreaming. Naruto rolled his head left and right then stretched his arms above his head before placing his hands behind his head. He was smiling happy.
They were still on the road and sleeping on the hard forest ground while traveling to Konohagakure with Fuu.
Back to why Naruto was so happy this morning. He really didn't know, all he knew is didn't want to move. He just wished his sleeping bag would stop shifting slightly up and down his chest. Normally that would have made Naruto curious but right now he just felt too good to care in the slightest. Then he felt a surge rush through his body that left him feeling completely tingly all over and his sleeping bag stopped shifting.
It was then he felt hands moving that he hadn't noticed before. They were creeping out the top of his sleeping bag and rubbing his chest which felt great but left him even more confused in this early morning haze that was him waking up. Following the hands was a head of mint-green hair and a girl with orange eyes staring at him and making a loud gulping sound then smiling at him.
It confused him but right then he felt so good it didn't really matter. He felt comfortable as she finally rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her slender arms around him.
"Good morning Naruto-sama," said Fuu, blushing slightly trying not to look him in the face.
"Morning Fuu-chan," mumbled Naruto as he dozed off again. Wait, why was Fuu there? Where was he for that manner? Did he really care? Another shiver coursed down his spine sending more tingles of warmth and comfort through his body as he continued dozing in the early morning hours.
All of this was completely ruined by a very perverse giggle from outside his tent, one that told him something was going on. A giggle that sent off a hundred warning bells in his head.
Naruto's eyes suddenly snapped wide-open. He looked down to his right to see Fuu snuggling in close to him without a lick of clothing between them. Subtly so as not to wake Fuu or panic himself he lifted his sleeping bag to look down his body see the rest of it as void of clothing and his member looking a bit sticky and wet.
Swallowing nervously he looked again to Fuu who was now looking him in the eyes. "Again Naruto-sama?"
Naruto's eyes rolled up into the back of his head.
Fuu just slunk back inside the sleeping bag.
Outside the tent, Jiraiya was furiously writing notes while giggling at the same time. "Icha Icha Bijuu Ai, here I come," he murmured, unable to contain the perverted giggles as he pictured the foxy hero and his many-tailed mistresses.
BREAK
Naruto hadn't been able to look Fuu in the eye for three days, not after he woke from that vivid wet dream. The pervert in him loved it and he thought he could live a long and happy life if he woke up that way every day. The prude Naruto told himself that it was wrong on so many levels to take advantage of the girl like that no matter how much they both craved human contact. Sure, she was sixteen and he was fourteen, almost fifteen so it wasn't like she was robbing the cradle but still. It still left him conflicted despite only having been a dream. At least he hoped it was a dream.
"Finally home," said Kakashi gleefully. "I can't wait to tell Tsunade-sama all about our trip. I think she'll find the last few days especially interesting.
"I'm a dead man," mumbled Naruto as he filled with dread at having to face that woman. It didn't help that when Fuu heard his mumble she immediate latched on to him and started radiating massive amounts of killing intent.
Kakashi and Jiraiya both started giggling like school girls.
"She won't actually kill me," Naruto reassured the girl. "At least, I don't think she will."
"Fuu will protect you, Naruto-sama," she said firmly, "and Naruto-sama will protect his Fuu."
Naruto sighed and nodded. "Let's just go see her."
The death march to Tsunade's office was filled with odd looks and a number of leers as they walked with Fu firmly latched on to Naruto's arm and not budging in the slightest.
The three knocks on her office door seemed heavy and final, each louder than the one before.
"Enter!" called a voice from the other side of the door that Naruto swore was the shinigami coming for him.
"Welcome back you three," greeted Tsunade kindly.
Naruto flinched slightly. He would have sought cover if Fuu hadn't held him firmly in place.
"And welcome to Konohagakure no Sato, Fuu-san," continued Tsunade, ignoring the odd behavior of her favorite cousin.
"Thank you for sending Naruto-sama, Hokage-sama," said Fuu.
Tsunade quirked an eyebrow as Jiraiya and Kakashi both giggle perversely.
"We're just glad that they were there," said Tsunade. "Now, in exchange for our continued protection we do you need you to agree to become a Konoha shinobi. I'm assuming the Uzumaki clan has agreed to sponsor you?" asked Tsunade, looking at Naruto.
Feeling like she saw right through him he squeaked out an affirmative response.
"Good," said Tsunade. "Then we just need you to fill out these forms. Naruto will take you to the Uzumaki compound and assign you an apartment."
"Fuu will stay at Naruto-sama's side. Fuu belongs to Naruto-sama," the girl said firmly, causing Jiraiya and Kakashi to break out into room-filling guffaws of laughter.
Poor Naruto turned beet red.
Fuu was completely unashamed and looked more proud.
Tsunade rolled her eyes at the perverts giggling "It is fine if you want to swear yourself to the Uzumaki clan but we still need you to become a Konoha shinobi. Are you okay with this?"
"Fuu is happy to become a Konoha shinobi because Naruto-sama is a Konoha shinobi. If Fuu becomes a Konoha shinobi then Fuu gets to stay with Naruto-sama and continue to make Naruto-sama happy," said the girl.
"So, if she'll be staying with you then that's fine. Just let me know if you decide to marry her into the clan so we can update the documentation plus I'd like to be there," said Tsunade with a small smirk at the clear discomfort Naruto was feeling. "Speaking of marriage, have you given any thought to it? I know your clan has grown a little over the last several months but your numbers are still very low. Do you plan to just take a single wife or a few?"
Naruto's jaw dropped in further shock.
"I know you're still new to the clan head stuff but these are things you really need to think about you know," said Tsunade, ignoring the look on Naruto's face and ignoring Kakashi and Jiraiya who were still laughing. "If you want me to start opening negotiations for a political bride let me know. For now I suppose you can just go home and get Fuu settled. I'll make arrangements for her to start SIPA evaluation in a few days."
Naruto finally snapped out of his stunned state. "What about our mission?"
"I will have to reach out to Kumogakure to see about arranging a meeting but it's not promising. Depending on their response you'll either be invited in or sneaking in," answered Tsunade.
Naruto frowned but nodded his acceptance anyway.
"Now go home, get a shower and rest. You've been on the road for a while now and have to catch up with your clan," instructed Tsunade.
Naruto let out a deep breath and stood to leave.
"Have fun you two," added Tsunade. Naruto knew if he turned around to look that Tsunade would be smirking.
Naruto and Fuu walked out of the hokage's office and administration building, a frown marring Naruto's face as they walked. It wasn't until they were in the streets that Naruto couldn't help smiling. He was finally home.
"Are you happy to be home, Naruto-sama?" asked Fuu.
"Yeah, I am," said Naruto. "It's your home now too."
His green-haired companion nodded once and smiled.
"Lets get to the compound and get you an apartment," said Naruto smiling.
"Fuu will stay at Naruto-sama's side," the girl insisted. "Fuu must protect Naruto-sama at all times."
Naruto sighed. "Fine, you can take one of the rooms in my apartment but no funny business."
"Fuu does not understand this 'funny business'. What is 'funny business'?" she asked.
"Never mind," uttered Naruto shaking his head.
Fuu frowned a little but followed along at Naruto's side nonetheless.
Naruto couldn't help his smile as he saw his building come into sight. The new Ichiraku's on the corner of his building looked super inviting but right now all he wanted was a shower and to sleep in his own bed.
"This is the Uzumaki clan building," said Naruto as they walked up to the main entrance only to suddenly have to dodge to the side as a few small children ran out of the building, two of them with the bright red hair of the Uzumaki clan. It caused him to smile seeing the kids playing.
Naruto opened the door again and began his walk up the stairs followed closely by Fuu. The building seemed quiet and other than the kids that ran past as he entered he hadn't seen any other Uzumaki wandering the halls.
Naruto entered his apartment on the top floor. "There should be some instant ramen in the cabinets. I don't know if there is anything else edible right now since I've been gone for so long. Would you mind boiling some water and fixing a few bowls for us while I take a shower?"
"Fuu is happy to make a snack for us, Naruto-sama."
"Thank you," said Naruto. He walked into his room, dropping his bag just inside the door and after closing the door behind him he began peeling the dirt crusted clothing off of himself.
Meanwhile, Fuu was waiting for the water to boil for the instant ramen when the door to the apartment opened. Fuu turned suddenly to face the intruder.
"Who are you? How did you get in here?" demanded the intruder. A girl around Naruto's age with dark red hair.
"Fuu is Fuu. Who are you?" Fuu answered and demanded in return.
"I'm Uzumaki Karin, how did you get in here?"
"Fuu followed Naruto-sama here. Fuu will protect Naruto-sama from all threats," she answered, understanding that Karin was family but warning her clearly all the same. She then relaxed and resumed preparing the ramen.
"Naruto-sama? Naruto-kun is home?" asked Karin, her voice sounding hopeful.
"Naruto-sama is bathing. He will return shortly," said Fuu.
Karin grinned. "Want to play a prank on Naruto-kun?"
"Prank? What do you have in mind for this prank?" asked Fuu.
"It's something to make us laugh and have fun and even tease Naruto-kun a little," explained Karin patiently.
"Does Naruto-sama like pranks?" asked Fuu, an eyebrow raised in curiosity
"Very much," said Karin. "He's the reigning prank king of Konoha."
"Fuu thinks pranking him would make Naruto-sama happy and will cooperate. Tell me what to do."
Karin grinned deviously and giggled. She quickly rushed to Fuu's side and began whispering her plan in Fuu's ear.
"Fuu can do this, Fuu can definitely do this," she replied, the starts of a smile at the corner of her mouth.
Back with Naruto, he was feeling happy and relaxed and clean after months on the road. Wrapping a towel around his waste he happily stepped out of the bathroom and into his room. Breathing in the scent of home deeply and letting out slowly he couldn't help the contented sigh.
"Time to nap," said Naruto, forgetting about the ramen request from earlier. He sat on the edge of his bed oblivious to the bed's unkempt state.
"Naruto-sama," came twin seductive voices from behind him.
A chill shot down his spine. Slowly, Naruto craned his neck around to look behind him to see Karin and Fuu hugging the sheets of his bed to their bare chests. Both women blushing slightly as they stared at him.
Naruto swallowed heavily. "Um... hi?"
Both girls broke out into peels of giggles that confused Naruto until the sheet dropped and showed they were still in their underwear. It was still hot as hell but far less concerning than if they had both been completely naked.
Naruto crossed his arms. "Some welcome home I get," he grumbled. "Pranked in my own home and bed. You know this means war?"
"Oh shush, you know you had fun," said Karin.
"Fuu thinks so too, you blushed," said Fuu.
Both girls looked at each other and grabbed Naruto's arms and pulled him back onto the bed such that he was between.
"Just lay back and take a nap," ordered Karin. "Well watch over you."
Naruto sighed and let himself fall back and close his eyes while both young women snuggled into his side contentedly. It didn't take long for Naruto to fall asleep as well as the girls. He really didn't mind the company either.
BREAK
Naruto got a most excellent revenge two hours later when he woke up from the nap before either of them. Their wake up call was a bucket of water each. A shockingly cold bucket of water with ice cubes included.
So it was a very happy Naruto kicked open the door to Ichiraku's and marched straight up to the counter and sat in the middle chair. "Teuchi-jiisan, start the ramen and don't stop until they have to roll me out of here!"
"You got it, gaki," shouted Teuchi from the back.
Ayame giggled madly at Naruto's standard antics. "Welcome home," she greeted happily.
Meanwhile all the Uzumaki present for their dinner stared on in confusion by this new comer baring their clan's symbol. "Thanks Ayame-neechan. The new restaurant looks great by the way and so do you for that matter."
"Look whose become quite the sweet talker," said Ayame unable to hide the slight blush staining her cheeks.
"Oi, who are you to flirt with my fiance?" demanded a redheaded man two stools over.
Naruto quirked an eyebrow at hearing that.
"Damn it, Toshi, I am not your fiance!" shouted Ayame. "You say that again and I swear I'll cut off your ramen."
"I'll be good, I'll be good. Let's not do anything rash now," said the man, Toshi, as he urgently tried to calm the girl down.
"Now Ayame-neechan, there is no need to for cruel and unusual punishment of such a horrific nature," chided Naruto. "There isn't a need to go that far. Give him a few swift kicks to his man bits fine but to threaten cutting off the ramen is just wrong. What would your father say?"
"Castrate him!" shouted Teuchi from the kitchen window.
"See, even he understands the importance of ramen," said Naruto. "Now feed me the ramen that I may honor my kami properly."
Toshi was nodding furiously trying to prevent loss of ramen or castration. So busy was he that he completely forgot about the new comers appearance that had the gall to wear the Uzumaki clan crest so blatantly.
Many of the others were just laughing at Toshi.
The first bowl was placed before Naruto and vanished within seconds. "Next!" called Naruto. What followed was an absolute decimation of ramen bowl after ramen bowl.
"Rokushi," called Teuchi from the back.
A young boy of eight or nine perked up at the call. "What is it Teuchi-jiisan?"
"Can I get you to run to the market for me? I'm going to run out of ramen at the rate he's going."
"Sure," said Rokushi, running up to grab the money from Teuchi and the running back out again.
"If this gaki keeps this up, he's going to break the current standing family record," said Hoshoko.
"I don't like this," said Yasha. "Ramen is sacred to the Uzumaki. An Uzumaki should hold the record. Not some blonde child with the arrogance to wear our clan crest."
"Toshi," called Hoshoko. "You'd better out eat this young upstart or I'll tell Teuchi about the-"
"Ayame-chan, start serving me, I've got to catch up quickly and then beat him," said Toshi.
Ayame giggled as she realized that none of the Uzumaki knew this was their clan head. So she started bringing Toshi the ramen. "How about the loser pays for the ramen?" offered Ayame.
Naruto paused his devouring and looked at Toshi sizing him up. "Okay, you're on if you think you can jii-san. I'll even wait for you to catch up."
"Oh, so you do have some honor," said Toshi. "Very well, challenge accepted."
Naruto was impressed by his clansmen. The man caught up but looked nearly ready to burst for his trouble.
"Okay Ayame-neechan, bring on the ramen," ordered Naruto, grinning from ear to ear.
Naruto destroyed him rather easily beating him by fifteen bowls. Patting his stomach contentedly when he finished he sighed happily.
"The winner, and still reigning champion: Uzumaki Naruto!" announced Ayame cheerfully enjoying the stunned looks on the faces of the people present.
Naruto stood up on his stool and bowed several times. "I'd like to thank the ramen, it's always been there for me. Teuchi-jiisan and Ayame-neechan. And of course my opponent, he never stood a chance but he was a good sport about it," he spoke, trying not to laugh the whole time while his assemble family all laughed happily at the joke.
Still grinning and now laughing Naruto sat down on his stool again and looked out at his clansmen. So much family to get to know.
Naruto was content until a shoe hit him in the face.
"You bastard," shouted an angry Karin. "Give me those photos now or else."
"Who throws a shoe, honestly," complained Naruto, ignoring the rampaging kunoichi.
Karin continued stomping forward and grabbed Naruto by his flak jacket. "Give me the pictures now!" she demanded, punctuating each word.
"What pictures?" asked Naruto innocently. "I don't know anything about pictures of you and Fuu in your underwear clutching each other while soaking wet in my bed."
Karin turned bright red as all the clan members around her started laughing again uproariously.
"And that my dear sweet little Karin-chan is why I am now, and will always be the reigning prankster king of Konoha," said Naruto as he slipped from Karin's grasp. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Better luck next time."
Karin turned even redder at the unexpected kiss and even more laughter and a few wolf whistles from her clansmen.
In front of her Ayame set down a small saucer of sake. "Drink this. I think you could use it after that little display.
Karin didn't argue. She took the saucer and drained it instantly.
"I'll be in the clan hall if anyone needs me," said Naruto, leaving the restaurant and walking around the corner to the entrance to the clan hall. Once there Naruto began the process of transferring the messages from Uzushiogakure onto the walls, floors, and ceiling of the room. He hadn't had a chance to do it yet because of how busy he'd been between training, SIPA, and his most recent mission.
He was soon joined by a number of clansmen that wanted to get to know him and soon began to help him with the messages. Naruto had a great time working on it with his clansmen. Some of them recognized the people who left the message while others cried for the message left for them or their parent. It was a wonderful bonding experience that ended up with almost the entire clan working together on their hall.
"I've got to say. I am very impressed, Naruto-sama," said Toshi as he walked out with Naruto and they locked up the hall for the night.
"None of that 'Naruto-sama' crap, it creeps me out enough I can't get Fuu-chan to stop doing it. Just call me Naruto."
Toshi laughed. "Karin said you were like this but seeing is believing I guess. Anyway, I'm proud to call you my clan head."
"I'm proud to call all of you my family," said Naruto with a grin of his own for the man.
"Okay, now that is out of the way. You have to tell me your secret. How were you able to eat so much of kami's food?"
Naruto laughed heartily with the man.
Naruto happily crawled into his bed that night and fell asleep almost immediately. Unconsciously wrapping an arm around Karin and Fuu pulling them both closer to him.
BREAK
Roshi was beginning to feel like a boiled lobster. He'd been to more and more hot-springs over the last two months in search of Han to no avail. Not that he minded the free sake he got to drink with every hotspring he visited.
"Welcome to Hoshi Onsen (Star Hotspring)," greeted the front desk manager.
"Yeah, I'm here for a steam," said Roshi.
The manager suddenly started sweating. "I'm sorry sir, that spring is reserved."
"Big guy, rice hat, and red armor?"
The manager nodded nervously.
"It's okay, he's an old friend. I've been looking for him," said Roshi leaving a stack of ryo on the counter.
The manager's eyes widened at the stack of money. "Down that hall, third door on the left," he said comfortably as he began to count the stack of ryo.
Roshi laughed slightly at the man's change in attitude. "Thanks."
Roshi approached the designated door with some trepidation, it had been a while since he'd last seen Han and back then he'd still be an active Iwa shinobi.
Roshi entered the empty changing room quietly and made his way through to the steam pool where he was sure Han would be.
"So, did the gnome send you after me?" asked a gravelly voice, the owner obscured by steam.
"Nah, I quit working for him a few years ago. Little bastard decided to betray me and apparently you too," said Roshi calmly. He still wasn't sure what kind of mood Han was in.
"Yeah, so who'd he sell us out to?"
"A group called Akatsuki," said Roshi. "They are trying to gather all the bijuu. We think they are trying to resurrect the juubi."
"Is there such a thing?" asked Han. "It doesn't matter. Anyone that comes for me will die painfully."
"Maybe," said Roshi. "But I'm thinking we could team up, make our chances against them a bit easier on both of us."
"And have you stab me in the back. I don't think so," said Han, a burst of steam made the previous lack of visibility even worse.
"I'm talking about our lives here, Han. I need you alive as much as you need you alive. And keeping you alive and working with me keeps us both alive," explained Roshi.
"I will think on it, come back tomorrow," said Han.
Roshi slowly backed out of the room and breathed a sigh of relief when it was done. Walking back to the front desk he found the manager missing.
Roshi felt the increased chakra before he saw anything. He jumped back down the hall away from the front desk just in time to watch the front desk and entrance of the onsen get obliterated by a pillar of water.
"Shit, I missed," said an unfamiliar voice.
"It was to be expected," said another voice. "He is older and far more experienced than most shinobi."
Roshi didn't like the sound of that. Two shinobi became visible as the dust settled. Two men both wearing black cloaks with red clouds.
"Akatsuki, huh?"
"You know of us?" asked the smaller man with red eyes and Konoha hitai-ate with a slash through it.
"Uchiha Itachi," said Roshi recognizing the young man from his bingo book entry. "That would make you Hoshigaki Kisame."
"I told you to come back tomorrow,' said a gravelly voice behind Roshi that he recognized as Han's.
"Sorry, they were not in the mood to let me leave," said Roshi, gesturing at the pair of shinobi.
"And who are they?"
"Akatsuki members, Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi. Two very dangerous guys," explained Roshi.
"So these are the ones that would hunt us?" asked Han.
"Han, you are not our target," said Itachi. "You can leave."
"So which of your people are after him?" asked Roshi.
"Another pair," said Itachi. "They will come for you shortly. I suggest you rest and prepare. If you interfere with this fight I cannot guarantee you will not be left significantly weakened after we have captured Roshi. I suppose it will not matter in the end, you will be caught and your bijuu extracted ending in your death."
"Now do you understand, Han?" asked Roshi. "If we team up we can rip these assholes apart."
"I find your terms acceptable," said Han. "I will boil the fish alive. You handle the Uchiha."
Itachi frowned. "Be careful Kisame, something is not right here." The ground below them suddenly began to rumble as lava burst forth. Itachi and Kisame were instantly separated.
Itachi threw away his now burning cloak. "Interesting, I could not sense you using any chakra. Why?"
"Cause I didn't," said Roshi, grinning and giving a mental salute to Son Goku. Roshi walked into the lava pool he created.
Itachi feared for a moment the old man was killing himself but then the lava began to wrap around him, covering him from head to toe. The lava then blackened and hardened with lines of hot lava coursing over his body. From his back four tails of lava spawned with a similar appearance. Worse, he had no eye that he could see. His sharingan was rendered completely useless.
"Now, I made a promise that when Akatsuki showed up looking for me, I would rip off their arms and beat them to death with them... Bad news for you, eh?"
Itachi did not like this at all. Everything was completely wrong. Roshi should not have had that much power. He never had a transformation like that before. It reminded him of the hybrid form the hachibi jinchuuriki had created.
"You've conquered the yonbi," said Itachi, it wasn't a question.
"Conquered, are you fucking stupid?" asked Roshi. "Son Goku is my partner and now we're going to kick your ass back to Konohagakure." From inside this transformation he no longer needed his eyes. He saw chakra and feelings, nothing could hide from him in this form.
"Yougan: hi-kan no jutsu (Lava: fire tube)," said Roshi without seals. He took a deep breath and blew out a long and very intense beam of fire.
Itachi easily dodge the bulk of the attack but he still got singed just from being close to him.
"Yougan: hara jirai no jutsu (Lava: mine field)," said Roshi, his body arced backward such that his mouth was aimed skyward. From his mouth he began spewing large globs of molten rock which landed randomly all around him and surrounding Itachi. The molten rock hit the ground and solidified.
"And now you're trapped here," said Roshi. He moved suddenly sinking instantly into the ground.
Itachi didn't not like this at all. There was chakra everywhere around him, it completely saturated the ground starting from the rocks that were spread all around him.
Roshi appeared from one of the lava rocks a moment later. His molten fist impacted with Itachi's face. Itachi hit the ground hard and rolled and bounced several times before he made contact with one of the lava rocks. The lava rock he hit glowed red for a moment then exploded into molten rock and fire, cutting and burning Itachi in several places. It blasted him rolling and bouncing again in another direction where he hit another of the lava mines which also detonated cutting and burning him further.
Itachi finally rolled to a stop and wobbly climbed back to his feet. He knew he was going to lose this fight if this continued this way.
Roshi was unprepared for the sudden wave of water that washed over him and his field setting off dozens of explosions and spreading steam everywhere. When it all settled Roshi's surface was hardened making movement significantly harder but Itachi was already gone.
Han landed in front of him a minute later. "I will work with you." He then took out a kunai and slammed the butt of it into Roshi's forehead causing the rock surrounding him to crack and allow the lava trapped inside to burn through again.
Roshi now able to move again released his lava which quickly sunk back into the depths of the earth.
"How did you do that?" asked Han.
"Son Goku, my partner," said Roshi, pounding on his chest where the seal was.
"Partner? With the demon?" asked Han.
"They aren't what we thought they were," said Roshi. "Get to know Kokuo. He may surprise you."
"Kokuo? The gobi has a name?"
"Yeah, you've got a lot to learn. I'll help you though," said Roshi with a chuckle.
"We can't stay here," said Han, looking at the devastated onsen.
"Can't go to Iwa either, the gnome already sold us out once. We could go to Konohagakure. I've got some contacts there."
"I would rather go to Akatsuki," said Han coldly.
"What about Kumo? We could try to talk to them."
"They would turn us over to Iwa," said Han.
"Okay, so that leaves Suna or Kiri," said Roshi. "You choose."
"I've heard Kiri has some good onsen resorts," said Han. Without another word he started walking southeast towards the sea.
Roshi sighed. "Not even giving me a chance to recover. You're still an ass," he mumbled as he followed after Han.