"Yosha!" shouted a very over energetic man in a green leotard with burnt orange leg warmers. Most would naturally ask what could ever posses any man, grown or otherwise, to wear such an outlandish getup. The answer to this question was that it was the result of a 15 year long prank by one Hatake Kakashi. The first time Gai ever challenged Kakashi they were both eleven years old. Kakashi had already been a Jounin by this point. It also was not long after Obito had died on an unfortunate mission. Gai felt it was his duty to cheer up his eternal rival. Now at the time Kakashi had no familiarity with pranks other than those he'd been subjected to by Obito. Naturally Obito had tried and failed to successfully catch him. Kakashi though, was a professional and would not allow himself to fail to honor his teammate's sacrifice. Kakashi had been so annoyed by Gai's attempts to cheer him up he challenged him to find the best taijutsu outfit possible. What followed was Gai coming up to him in a series of sillier and sillier outfits and fighting Kakashi only to lose and have his outfit declared a failure. Gai naturally took offense to this and continued his pursuit of the perfect taijutsu outfit. Kakashi having finally grown tired of messing with the man decided to have one final laugh about the whole thing. The result was the orange leg warmers and the green leotard. Gai wore it hesitantly not fully trusting his eternal rival. Then the most unprecedented thing happened. Gai beat Kakashi while wearing it. Sure Kakashi may have thrown the fight thinking Gai would only wear it for a day or two before the people laughing at him clued him into the fact it was all a joke. Kakashi never had to play a prank again. It's been 15 years since then and Gai still hasn't clued into it. Worse, he convinced another poor young soul to join him.
"Yosha!" shouted a younger version of said man. Prior to his shout the young man was standing completely undetected directly behind his female teammate.
The poor girl screamed in fright and lashed out with a giant spiked club nearly as big as she was.
Lee woke up about an hour later with a solid concussion and a broken jaw.
"I've warned you repeatedly about doing that Lee," said Tenten irritably. "I specifically told you last time that if you did it again you'd get a first hand introduction to utsu-chan." (little beater)
A muffled murmur came through the bandages.
"I don't care if you need to practice. You do not practice on me," said Tenten with a huff.
Another muffled murmur followed.
"I don't care if Neji always sees you coming. That just means you need to work harder to sneak up on him. Maybe you could practice more on Gai-sensei," chided Tenten before finally stomping off with her giant club on her shoulder.
Ever since that damned SIPA evaluation Lee had been a royal pain the ass to anyone and everyone. What the hell were they thinking suggesting Lee learn silent killing? Tenten didn't care if it fit well with Lee since he could not use chakra properly.
Meanwhile Neji became even more of a prick. Whatever they told him had put him in a very bad mood. Sadly it seemed Neji was determined to ignore SIPA's recommendation for his own training.
SIPA did however give her the idea to create utsu-chan, a chakra conductive spiked club with explosive contact seals. Small yield but effective, it only created a blast about the size of a watermelon. That was enough to take a man's head clean off. With her renewed interest in fuinjutsu, applying it to her weapons had been genius. Just add a little chakra and things would go boom-boom or zap-zap followed shortly by her mad cackle of glee. Thankfully the club only went boom-boom when she channeled her chakra specifically into the club. The same could not be said for the zap-zap of her whip, kurakkuru-chan (little crackle), which used her opponents' chakra against them.
However, the physical training she put herself through to get used to swinging around utsu-chan to make it a viable weapon was hell. Her goal was to get comfortable enough that she could swing utsu-chan with the same speed and accuracy as she could a sword. Her arms and shoulders were killing her at this point. Still, she had to smirk simply because she successfully whacked Lee upside the head. He was usually able to dodge her swing. This meant she was getting faster.
A tap on her shoulder had her screaming again followed by Lee taking another club up the other side of his head.
BREAK
"Come on Shikamaru, hold your ground," yelled Asuma from his perch on top of a large boulder.
"Don't get tired on me now Chouji," Asuma yelled once more. In this case it was because the boulder upon which Asuma sat was being held in the air by Chouji.
"Ino, pick up the pace! You haven't hit Shikamaru yet!"
It was a convoluted situation all the way around. Shikamaru was practicing holding up his shadow bind technique to keep just Chouji's feet in place who in turn was holding a boulder above his head upon which Asuma sat with Ino standing precariously upon the man's shoulders while throwing poisoned senbon at Shikamaru who had to dodge without moving much for risk of Chouji dropping the boulder which included Asuma and Ino.
"I hate you Asuma-sensei," said Shikamaru finally losing his balance causing the whole house of cards to fall. How the hell was he supposed to get used to using his shadow to only control a specific part of a person? It was monstrously difficult. To only control one aspect of his movement or rather to just tie one part of his movement to the movement of that same part of his target. It was a very advanced form of the kagemane no jutsu. The idea was simple but the execution was not. Why his mother insisted his father push him to learn this now was beyond even his intellect to figure out.
"Four minutes twenty-three seconds," said Asuma standing off to the side. "That's a new record."
"I hate SIPA," moaned Ino as she rubbed her backside while trying to stand up again.
"Just think," said Asuma with a grin, "As soon as we get up to five full minutes Shikamaru gets to learn to walk while controlling Chouji and dodging weapons from Ino and me."
Chouji whimpered. SIPA had changed everything for him and his team. Suddenly everything for him was about building strength, lots and lots of strength. Strapping boulders to his feet and legs or hands and arms, using chakra to keep them stuck to his body like in the leaf exercise. Then his parents radically altered his meal plan, no more sweets and very few carbohydrates, instead it was all protein and vegetables.. They took away his chips for kami's sake.
Ino meanwhile had her knowledge of botany put to the test in ways she never knew possible. Suddenly she was expected to spend hours a week in an alchemy lab learning to combine those plants she knew so well to make various types of poisons. Worse, she was sick at least one day week as she was purposely exposed to weak poisons to help her build an immunity.
Shikamaru though had it the worst of the three. They just had to let his mother hear the report. Now he was forced out of bed every morning at 6:00 am and made to run with the deer. At least two hours every morning while his mother quizzed him on strategies and situational awareness. Then once his father woke up it was shadow work. No traditional elemental affinity meant he did nothing but shadow work. His father called it the "kage noroi" (shadow curse) of their clan but in reality is was just the way their chakra manifested in their blood. SIPA said it was a bloodline affinity. Shikamaru didn't care either way, all it meant to him was extra work and less sleep.
"Time to run students," said Asuma with a vicious grin.
This made them all groan in unison. Shikamaru connected his shadow to his teammates but did not impose his will on their bodies. It was yet another exercise Shikamaru had forced upon him by his parents and Asuma. He had to be ready at all times to take control of them. Chouji meanwhile had to attach boulders using chakra to the various parts of his body. Ino just needed the conditioning.
BREAK
"Where Hinata today sensei?" asked Kiba as his sensei entered the clearing.
"She has a family meeting today," said Kurenai simply and with no further details.
"So what are we going to do instead?" asked Kiba on behalf of himself and his ever-silent teammate Shino.
"SIPA training recommendations," said Kurenai with an almost excited grin.
Kiba groaned.
Shino sort of buzzed.
"Oh stop it, both of you," said Kurenai. "I can't even begin to tell you both how happy I was to hear that both of you have a moderate affinity to genjutsu. I am a genjutsu mistress, it's what I know so you two can suffer through learning one."
"But they're so... lame!" complained Kiba all too loudly.
Kurenai narrowed her eyes at the boy. It was truly stupid of him to insult her craft like that.
It was a subtle shift in air that alerted Kiba something was wrong. He was sure it was daytime only a moments before but now it was night with a full moon gleaming from the sky. Kiba suddenly felt panic as he frantically searched his surroundings for whatever was causing it. Then he saw it, in the tree just above him. A shadow with glowing yellow eyes. It was hunting him. His brain was telling him he should run.
Suddenly it was day again and the shadow in the tree turned into a sweetly smiling Kurenai.
Kiba realized in that instant what happened. "Was that a genjutsu? What the hell was that anyway?"
"Owa reta no jutsu (the hunted)," said Kurenai hopping down from the tree. "It's a blunt force instrument as far as genjutsu goes and not one I'm very good at."
"You seemed really good at it to me," said Kiba realizing his heart was still racing.
"Thank you Kiba," said Kurenai. "But you wouldn't really know the difference between that and one of my really good genjutsu. Not yet anyway."
"It is logical to assume you wish for us to learn and master this particular genjutsu," said Shino in his normal firm but subtle voice.
"That is correct," said Kurenai. "I know of only one other Inuzuka that used this genjutsu. With her hound growling along side her it was extremely effective. It would disrupt opposing teamwork very well allowing for teams to be picked apart."
"I could see that. I wanted to run away so badly," said Kiba with shiver. "But how come there was no killing intent?"
"Two reasons," said Kurenai. "First, this genjutsu is designed to trigger fight or flight in opponents, preferably flight, and as such killing intent will ofter cause an opponent to freeze up. Higher level ninja are so used to killing intent that this would actually cause them to recognize it was a genjutsu and then to break the genjutsu that much easier. Second, you're my students and I would not want to subject you to killing intent unnecessarily."
"Instead you'd rather I pissed myself?" asked Kiba earning a frown from Kurenai.
"This genjutsu is purely about intimidation, something to be used when ambushing an opposing team. Ideally, one of you would be hidden while the other triggers the genjutsu and starts hunting the opponent."
"To clarify," said Shino, "this is best used if one of us is hidden, preferably in an elevated position. We would use it to possibly scatter our enemies or induce hesitation?"
"Correct," said Kurenai simply. "Now, as I said this is not an overly complex genjutsu."
"Turning day to night, becoming all shadowy and making your eyes glow is not complex?" asked Kiba.
Kurenai chuckled, "Your opponents mind does most of the work for you. I naturally spruced up certain things to make it somewhat more intense which you'll also be able to do eventually. For now, we're going to focus on using the genjutsu to make your target feel as if they are being hunted. As you get better at that I'll help you start adding tweaks of your own."
"So I could totally give me and Akamaru glowing white or red eyes instead of yellow?"
"Absolutely," said Kurenai.
"Hmm," murmured Shino. "So he saw shadows but I heard footsteps all around me. Is this another effect of our minds doing the work for you?"
"Not exactly," said Kurenai. "I gave you both slightly varied versions to give you some creative ways to manipulate it. For you Shino I used sound because I felt you could work with it given your affinity for insects."
"I see," said Shino. "Logically, many people are uncomfortable with one or two insects but if they were to hear a swarm of insects..."
"You've got the right idea Shino," said Kurenai with a smile for her student. "Now lets get you both to work."
Kiba naturally let loose a feral grin.
BREAK
"Uchiha Sasuke, do you understand your place?"
"My place is to server the village," said Sasuke flatly.
"Why do you serve the village?"
"I server the village because it serves me in return."
"What is your reward for service?"
"Knowledge and the promise of eternal darkness," he answered.
"And what will you do with the knowledge we freely give unto you?"
"I will serve in the village's best interest."
"And your reward when you have served, attained knowledge, and found your place in the eternal darkness?"
"I will be rewarded with the privilege of a team of assassins to assist me in the execution of traitors to the leaf village."
"And who is your first target?"
"Uchiha Itachi," he answered unable to prevent the grin that slipped to the corners of his mouth.
"What are your orders for the next four weeks?"
"I am ordered to rejoin my team effective tomorrow. I am to cooperate with them and not endanger them. I am to apologize to my adjunct sensei and teammates for my failure to follow orders. In three weeks we will be entered into the chuunin exams where I will compete with my teammates to successfully pass the first two phases of the exams. I am not to disobey any order given by the team leader chosen by Kakashi. I am to keep a very tight reign over my darker impulses until such time as the second phase of the exam is completed."
"At the completion of the second phase I am to report directly to Danzo-sama for training. At the end of the final phase of the chuunin exams provided I have followed and obeyed all previous orders I will be promoted and relegated to ANBU black ops and removed from general circulation."
"Do you feel you will be capable of following these orders as given?"
"Yes," said Sasuke firmly.
"Good," said the questioner who then attacked Sasuke.
Sasuke instantly defended himself deflecting the kunai stab with his newly acquired tanto. Sasuke went to stab his attacker when a very powerful shock ran through his system.
The attacker halted, "It is good that seal still works which means you still see Konoha shinobi as allies. Remember, that seal will only take effect in the event you intend to kill an ally. So be cautious if you fight any Konoha shinobi during the exams. We would not want you incapacitated unnecessarily before the conclusion of the exams."
"I will be more mindful," said Sasuke as he stood.
Hidden from view Danzo and Sarutobi watched as Sasuke was further tested.
"He has taken to the conditioning training well," said Sarutobi. "Especially for only having three weeks to work with him."
"There were some precarious moments where he truly stopped seeing Konoha shinobi as allies. I believe he now truly sees us as his allies and that we truly want him to obtain his objectives," explained Danzo smugly.
"Well done," said Sarutobi grimly. "He can return to his team."
"Who do you intend to have be their team leader for the exam?"
"I'll let Kakashi decide," said Sarutobi.
"Uzumaki-san has made some rather impressive strides forward the last few weeks," said Danzo. "He may become a great weapon for the village yet."
"He is still naive but he is coming along nicely," said Sarutobi, "I believe Haruno-san is more mature at this point to manage that team but I think Uzumaki-san may be the only one strong enough to keep Uchiha-san in line should he have a repeat of Nami no Kuni."
"I will continue having the boy's training observed for now," said Danzo turning away from watching Sasuke's training. He sat down at a small table and poured some tea for himself and the hokage.
Sarutobi joined him only a moment later. "Very well, but no interference. I believe that boy may already be more loyal to this village than you are."
"That boy does not yet have it in him to do what is necessary," said Danzo.
Sarutobi glared balefully at him, "That is why I have you is it not. I have overlooked a great many of your indiscretions already. Do not make me regret it."
"And your foolish tolerance of this Hyuuga boycott?" asked Danzo with an equal glare.
"We both look the other way when we have to," said Sarutobi putting the matter to an end. "Thank you for the tea. I have paperwork waiting."
BREAK
"Clansmen," stated Hyuuga Hiashi calling the attention of his people. "I will be departing today for a meeting with the daimyo. We have received a writ of warning for human enslavement due to our protection of the byakugan through use of the hyuuga soke no juinjutsu. I am to answer to the potential charges against our clan. We have thus been ordered to immediately cease to use of the hyuuga soke no juinjutsu and to see to its immediate removal from all clan members. This makes our clan weak and vulnerable. It dishonors our traditions and seeks to destroy our clan. As such, we are initiating an immediate boycott to all village missions. This only excludes those clansmen participating in the upcoming chuunin examination. However once the exam has ended you will also be expected to join in this boycott."
"We must stand strong as a clan in this dark time. All of us must be ever vigilant for those who would seek to steal our bloodline during this time where we are most vulnerable. Be strong and I will convince the daimyo to uphold our traditions," said Hiashi calmly.
A few Hyuuga knew right then that Hiashi was caught in a lie. Hiashi was not going to answer to a warning, he was going to answer for convicted crimes. He was not going to be able to prevent the banishment of the juinjutsu. He was not going to be able to keep his power.
Hyuuga Neji smiled vindictively.
Hyuuga Hinata smiled hopefully.
Hyuuga Hanabi frowned confusedly.
Hiashi walked out of this clan compound to meet with the daimyo's escorts. He knew his return would be the beginning of the end of the Hyuuga clan. Hiashi believed this would end in disaster for the entire clan. The branch house knew this would only spell disaster for the main branch.
BREAK
"Welcome to the combat iryonin licensing rank I," greeted an elderly woman from the front of a small classroom. "There are two parts to this test. First is written exam which will qualify you to begin working as an employee of the hospital and clinics of Konoha in a diagnostic capacity upon passing. The second part is the practical exam which is split into two parts as well, triage and emergency medical care itself which licenses you to be a team medic as an active shinobi or a nurse within the hospitals or clinics of Konoha."
Sakura nodded once to herself as she looked around the small classroom. There were only two other people taking the test. Both were older than her. She knew one of them from having studied for this test with her. It was the woman's third try at the test. Her name was Hayabusa. In her previous tries she passed the written but not the practical so unfortunately for her she had to retake the whole test and pass both portions. Sakura didn't know the other man, he must have been trained outside the village, probably at one of the Konoha sponsored clinics throughout Hi no Kuni.
"You have 6 hours to answer 600 multiple choice questions, 6 anatomy diagrams and 4 diagnostic essays," said the elderly proctor.
Sakura was nervous. This was her first time taking the test and she really wanted to pass so she could be officially registered going into the chuunin exams. She had heard from many of the other iryonin that doing so almost guaranteed her a promotion to chuunin whether she won the exams or not as long as she made it to the final round.
"Begin!" the proctor ordered shaking Sakura from her thoughts and forcing her to focus.
Six hours. Six very long hours. Six mind-melting, brain-breaking hours. What was she thinking? Sakura had never felt so braindead when it was all done and over with.
"Results will be delivered directly to you in two weeks," said the proctor. "The practical examination begins tomorrow morning at 6:00 am. Don't be late."
Sakura let her head fall and hit the desk with a thump.
"Pretty much," said Hayabusa with a thump of her own head hitting the desk. "And just think, you get to wait on pins and needles for the result of whether we passed or not for the next two weeks.."
Sakura lifted her head slightly and let it thump on the desk again.
BREAK
The next morning Sakura reported as ordered.
"Welcome to the combat iryonin licensing rank I practical examination," said a much younger proctor that the previous day's. "Please remember a pass of 70% allows you to work as a nurse while a 90% or better is required for you full combat license.
"We'll begin with diagnostic triage," said the proctor opening the door behind him. "In this room are twenty patients. You have 10 minutes to create a priority of treatment. You will then begin analysis of each patient and time estimates for each treatment. Any mistakes in your priority of treatment and time management can result in the death of a patient before you can provide treatment. You'll have 50 minutes for this portion of the exam."
Sakura frowned. She did not like the idea that if she made a mistake in setting her priority of treatment it could result in the death of a patient.
"Are we allowed to check their charts while setting order," asked the man Sakura didn't know.
"You may but be conscious of time," said the proctor.
"Are there any beyond saving?" asked Hayabusa.
"You'll have to figure that our for yourself," answered the proctor. "If there are no other questions you may begin now."
Sakura entered the room and instantly scanned the patients. She first looked for blood then tried to rate the flow of blood. She knew it was all staged but it was still disturbing to see.
There was an amputee with a leg cut off just above the knee she determined would be the first priority to stabilize to prevent him from bleeding out. There was a neck wound that followed that in her priority. After that there were some serious looking infections. Then she found person that would die in moments due to a poison that was moved to the top of her priority. Several minor injuries and illnesses filled in the bottom of her priority.
"And time," said the proctor, "Begin treatment based on your priority list."
Sakura immediately went to her poison victim while Hayabusa and the man both went to the amputee and started filling in treatment charts.
"Patient 002 has just died," announced the proctor.
Lucky for Sakura patient 002 was the patient she attended first and was able to put in adequate treatment to save him before time was call.
Sakura then move immediately to the amputee and started writing stabilizing treatment that would keep him alive long enough to get him into surgery.
"Patient 009 has now passed," said the proctor. It was the amputee she just finished treating.
It continued in this way for the rest of hour. Sakura felt very lucky she didn't have a death in her treatment protocols except for one elderly patient that passed of cancer that was found too late and was beyond any current treatment available. Now she just needed to know if she got it right.
"You have one hour to rest," said the proctor. "We'll begin the last portion of your practical."
Sakura breathed a sigh of relief for it to have ended.
"How did you know about 002?" asked the man.
"His finger tips were purple," said Sakura. "That plus the labored breath made poison likely."
"I missed the finger tips," said the man. "It wasn't on the chart either."
"Nurses that start those charts miss stuff all the time," said Hayabusa joining the conversation. "I missed it too, I thought it was likely a pneumonia."
"As did I," said the man. "I'm Sakito by the way. I didn't get a chance to introduce myself yesterday."
"Nice to meet you, I'm Hayabusa and this is Sakura-chan."
"Nice to meet you both."
"Were you trained at one of the Konoha clinics?" asked Sakura.
"Yes, near the border to Kaze no Kuni," said Sakito who then frowned. "I should have caught that poison case. It's something I deal with all time being so close to Sunakagure."
"What is your usual treatment for poison?" asked Sakura curiously. What followed was a very interesting conversation about various treatment methods. Sakura felt truly comfortable with these peers even if they both had close to 10 years on her. She couldn't help the small smile that crept onto her face.
BREAK
"High block left, middle block right, stomp block left, high punch right, middle punch left, low kick right, high block right, middle block left, stomp block right, high punch left, middle punch right, low kick left, low kick right, middle punch left, high punch right, stomp block left, middle block right, high block left, low kick left, middle punch right, high punch left, stomp block right, middle block left, high block right," ordered Kakashi as he showed Naruto his latest taijutsu exercise. "And that's one."
Naruto simply gaped, "And I have to do that 5,000 times?"
"No, only 1,000 for this," said Kakashi. "And you actually get an opponent this time to practice on." Kakashi then whistled once.
A young man in a green leotard and burnt orange leg warmers appeared a moment later.
"Lee-kun, you were watching?"
"Yes Kakashi-rival-sensei," said the boy Lee.
Naruto raised an eyebrow at the boy. "And people say I dress weird for wearing orange."
"Yosha! Let us be youthful and show our flames to everyone," Lee shouted pumping a fist into the air.
"So, start slowly and build up speed," said Kakashi. "Naruto-kun, if you screw up the order Lee-kun is going to hit you and you'll both have to start over."
Naruto gulped nervously, not for getting hit but for having to start over.
"And if you cannot do this I expect both of you to run around Konoha on your hands," said Kakashi with a wink to Lee.
"Yosh!" screamed Lee with flames in his eyes.
Kakashi could not help his mad cackle as he walked away knowing Naruto was in for a world of pain. Just because Kakashi never had to play a prank again doesn't mean he never did.