"Stay close" Marcus said, his eyes glowing as he cast a Shade of invisibility over them. He, Sal and Melchior were on another side of the forest waiting for the signal to show that it was alright to cross the wards. They were inches away from the glowing symbols themselves, glaring bright red.
Sal felt as the Shade washed over him, felt it hover over his skin like a second layer of air. He looked to Marcus who had an expert grin on his face. He was a bit taller now, the muscles in his arms and legs more visible than they had been before.
"You alright?" Sal asked.
"Are you joking?" Marcus said still grinning. "I've never felt better"
"You should be at least mildly cautious, if not terrified" Melchior said. He was standing the furthest away from the wards but his eyes were glued to them, the red glaring reflected in his pupils.
"Just stay close and you'll be alright" Marcus said, then he flashed a trouble maker's grin. "You know, the runes might get angry and come to life if you keep staring at them like that"
Melchior shot Marcus an annoyed look but then looked at the runes again, clearly more mortified than before.
Sal laughed, and that's when his pendant pulsed against his chest, then the runes on the floor shone a brighter red.
Marcus's eyes went slitted, Melchior's hands flew to his sword and Sal called Gemini, the twin blades coming to life in a flash of blue fire.
Sal expected the undeads to burst through the trees, hands outstretched and mouths open wide, but all he heard was the sound of a multitude surging forward, and then weapons striking through flesh.
"That's our cue" Sal said as he willed Gemini back to rings. He turned to the other two, Melchior looked relieved, Marcus looked disappointed, and he beckoned them forward. "Come on"
They went through the trees and over the wards.
The space between the forest and the hospital was wide, like a gaping mouth, and it was crowded with undeads. Sal could see that they were not only in the form of humans, but animals as well. Birds with membranous wings flew overhead, beaks sharp and eyes red, dogs and cats barked and hissed like wild animals, their skins laying in strips over their bodies, but of all the undeads the humanoids were the most terrifying of them all. They leapt and lunged and staggered, mouths open and ragged breath seething through their deformed lungs with a harsh scratching sound, their hands stretched out in a wild hunger. Pieces of their organs and muscles peeked out through the spaces of their discolored skin. All the undeads had that glowing chain of symbols on their necks, like a collar shining with a harshness like fire.
"Tirichi" Melchior swore.
"Indeed" Marcus said.
An undead came running towards them and Sal was prepared to leap and slash out with his swords but a small hand latched on to his and Sal turned to see Marcus holding him tight, his eyes on Sal careful and cautious.
"Wait" Marcus said.
Sal was about to protest but the undead had already reached them. It let out a shriek and Sal tensed but Marcus held him with surprising strength.
It ran straight towards them and then suddenly changed it's course, bending ever so slightly that all it would have taken to touch it was to reach out a hand. It moved pass them as if they weren't there and disappeared among the other undeads.
Sal looked to Marcus puzzled.
"The Shade, Sal" Marcus explained. He turned to where the undead had run to. "Besides, I think your plan is working"
Sal turned and saw that in the middle of the sea of undeads were flashes of silver and gold. He could make out the cries of undeads as they flew in the air, their heads and bodies severed with slashes and stabs from the weapons of his friends. Sal felt worry quiver through his body.
"We should keep moving" he said, hoping Marcus and Melchior couldn't hear it. "Quickly before he figures it out"
Marcus and Melchior didn't hesitate to follow, and together they ran into the throng of undeads.
The undeads parted as they approached, their attentions straying from them and focusing on Sal's friends on the other side. At times they had to dodge a leaping undead or a jump over them falling over each other, all the while the sound of fighting resounded from far off; the slicing of a trident, the striking of a whip, the whistling of arrows as they sailed through the air and hit their targets dead on.
"Will they be alright?" Melchior asked as they ran, Lamech slapping at his side. Sal didn't look at him, his sights were set on the double doors of the hospital, they were nearly there.
"I hope so" he answered without pausing and sped up towards the awaiting doors.
The doors were made of glass, stained with splashes of dirt and green fluid and held fast by a chain and a padlock. Sal waisted no time, he took out his wand and placed it over the padlock. The Unlocking glyph shone, a twisted key with a sharpened end, and the padlock gave way with a rusty click.
He hastily wrenched the chains and pushed the doors open, hoping with all his heart that there were no undeads waiting for them behind it. Fortunately, the room, which was most likely the hospital reception, was empty.
Sal ushered Melchior and Marcus in and shut the doors without hesitation, the barrier muffling the sounds of battle outside.
He gestured for them to follow him and together they went deeper into the hospital. There were corridors with hospital wards on either side but they were all empty, far at the end of one corridor was a flight of stairs that led up to the remaining floors.
"Where do we even start looking?" Marcus whispered, his golden eyes shining in the darkness. "He could be anywhere"
Sal felt his pendant pulse with a brighter light and clenched it tightly in his palm. Danger was near. He called for his swords and Gemini appeared in his hands in an instant.
"What do we do now?" asked Melchior, his hand ready at Lamech's hilt.
Sal thought for a moment, they needed to find Percival as soon as possible if Antony and the girls had any chance of survival but the hospital had four stories. It was too much for them to search altogether.
"We split up" he said finally.
"Definitely not" said Melchior. "We've been separated enough as it is"
"I don't like it either", said Sal, "but it's faster, okay, the sooner we get to Percival the better"
"The Shade will not hold if we part" said Marcus.
"Then take it off" Sal said. "We'll take that risk"
They both looked at him like he was a maniac but they nodded in agreement.
"This floor is empty but there are three more above us, each of us will search one floor"
"I'll take the top" said Marcus.
"I'll take the third" Melchior said.
"That leaves me the second" said Sal, "and if you see him, or anything else, do not hesitate to kill"
"I would very much enjoy that" said Marcus with that canine light in his eyes.
Sal tried his best to ignore it and began walking up the tiled stairs. As they got to the next floor Sal stayed and watched as Melchior and Marcus disappeared on the next flight until Marcus's tails were out of sight. The Shade came away not long after, and Sal suddenly felt exposed and unprotected as he advanced into the hallway.
The hallway of this floor was lit only by the moonlight shining through the window at the very end. Hospital wards were on either side just like the ground floor, and it was deadly silent, a sickly sort of suspense hanging in the air that made Sal's skin crawl with uncertainty.
He passed the first ward and felt his pendant pulse brighter, the light giving off a gentle heat.
He walked back and pressed his ear to the door, there was a sound coming from inside, but it was too faint to discern what it was. Sal took a deep breath and pushed the door open.
The ward was washed with red light, particles of dust hung in the air like snowflakes suspended in time. In the light Sal could make out the windows, the stains on it like shadows, a sink at the end of the room, and a bed, the outline of a human body huddled under the sheets, rising and falling as it breathed.
Sal held Gemini firmly, the metallic silver gleaming with red as he approached the bed slowly. He realized the sound he heard was coming from whatever lay under the sheets. It was mumbling, like saying a prayer or casting a spell.
Sal walked forward slowly, his footsteps silent, and as he got within arms length of the bed he was hit by the smell. Death, decay, salt and sulfur.
Percival.
Whatever this was, it was a work of very powerful black magic. He raised Nightburn and motioned to slice it, ignoring the pulse of his pendant that had grown harsh with heat as he'd approached.
He brought Nightburn down, but before it could connect he was thrown back as the thing leapt from the covers and crashed into him. He flew out of the ward and into the hallway, Gemini skidding away from him in two opposite directions.
The thing was on top of him, the smell from it's open mouth made everything go blurry. Sal could only make out a rising claw, ready to rake his face, but he crossed his arms in front of him and closed his eyes.
He felt the mark on his chest burn and then there was a flash of heat. Sal didn't dare open his eyes, he only heard the sound of the thing bursting apart like a balloon, blood and bits and pieces of flesh splattering everywhere.
Sal opened his eyes as soon as he felt the weight pressing on him disappear. He scrambled to his feet and called his swords and they immediately flew from the ground and into his grasp. Panting hard he stood from the floor, swallowing as he saw bits of the undead everywhere, oozing down the wall and dripping from the ceiling.
Memories of Bobby shriveling to dust found their way back into Sal's mind. It had happened again, and at the moment Sal was completely defenseless, but why?
At that moment, without warning, the doors of each ward began to slowly creak open, undeads covered in white sheets began to emerge, crawling out of the wards on all fours, voices grumbling, eyes shining bright beneath the sheets. In the moonlight, as they shed the sheets like pieces of clothing, Sal could see them clearly the way he couldn't before.
They were the corpses of elderly people, long gray hair hanging in singular strings over their eyes, the chain of symbols on their necks pulsing with black magic, their arms and legs bent in awkward angles and scuttling on the floor like spiders. Their skins were as green as moss and rows of teeth glinted like fangs.
They all wore the purple Shemer's tunic, the indestructible clothing hanging on their bodies in rags.
Sal held Gemini firmly in each hand, a burst of anger pounding in his heart at Percival's idea of a joke. He could almost hear the mockery behind this gesture; You will fail, just as they have failed before you, and then you will join them.
The undeads inched closer, their bodies tensed and ready to spring at him.
Sal smiled, his mark burning, and he knew in that moment that somehow, he was going to win.
And he was going to enjoy it.
***
The world had slowed down and become a whirlwind of blood, blade and battle. Antony twirled his trident left and right, each strike sending an undead flying in two different directions. The adrenaline rushing through his veins made everything sharper and he didn't even have to think to fight. It was like his body and mind had switched to autopilot and he was only aware of his muscles tensing, his limbs moving, his heart pounding and his weapon singing.
He was aware of the girls on either side of him only by the sound of their weapons. Bloom's whip striking the undeads to bits on his left, Katarina shooting arrows and cutting with the sharpened edges of her bow on his right.
Slowly, much to Antony's surprise, they advanced forward, the undeads falling at their feet as fast as they approached.
"I honestly cannot believe this is working" exclaimed Bloom as she leapt with the agility of an acrobat and twirled in the air. Her whip cutting through the undeads like a tornado of knives.
Good, Antony thought, too focused on the battle to speak, let's just hope it's enough.
He jumped and came down hard on an undead in the form of a horse, tearing it perfectly in half.
I trained you well, didn't I Antony?
Antony's breath hitched and he nearly didn't move in time to avoid the gaping mouth of a humanoid undead.
"No, not now" Antony whispered even as he threw his trident and it impaled several undeads before flying back into his palm.
Oh, but what better time than this.
Antony speared an undead with the butt of his trident and then another behind him with the three sharp points. His hands suddenly seized moving, his muscles tightening under pressure.
I told you son, you will suffer for it. And now the time for suffering has come.
Then the voices came, screaming in his head and filling it with a blinding noise. An undead barreled him to the ground, screeching as it stabbed it's clawed hands through Antony.
Antony screamed.
The pain was excruciating, the feeling of hands pushing through his skin, the sound of his bones cracking under the undeads grip, the pounding pain in his head from all the voices screaming at once.
There was so much of it, so much of that blinding pain, that Antony barely felt as another undead fell on him, and another, and another, covering him so that all he saw was darkness, all he smelt was decay and black magic, all he felt was the undeads biting into his body.
Like kelpies on human flesh, Bloom had said.
Antony closed his eyes and let his body drown in the pain.
And then everywhere suddenly became bright, the undeads bodies disappeared from above him and the red light of the moon shone down on the person standing in their place.
Katarina towered over Antony, her bow slick with greenish blood, her face and tunic streaked with it. She looked down at him and Antony swore there were silver crescents shining in her eyes.
"Dear gods, Antony are you okay?" she asked. The undeads were staying away from her, as if she were a vessel of holiness that none of them could approach without consequence.
Antony looked down at himself, there were wounds in the shape of claw and teeth marks all over his body and his blood was everywhere, golden like the sun and running through the red earth like a stream of light.
He was about to answer when he heard a scream. He flinched, thinking that the voices were back, but they were gone, and the scream was coming from afar off.
He saw Kataruna turn and her eyes widened with fear.
"Bloom!" she screamed.
On hearing that Antony jerked to a kneeling position, holding his hands to his wounds as he looked in the direction Katarina faced. The minute his eyes found what she was looking at all the blood and pain was forgotten.
Bloom was on the floor, an undead sinking it's teeth into her skin, her hands pinned to the ground, her whip merely inches away from her outstretched fingers. She let out another scream as the undead tore out a piece of her flesh, milky white blood flew into the air like sea spray.
Antony acted before thinking, he reached out to his trident and it flew into his hands. With one fluid motion he caught it and threw it.
It sailed through the air at neck break speed and stabbed through the undead ready to take another bite out of Bloom.
"Get to her" he croaked as his trident flew back into his hands again, he could barely recognize his own voice scratchy with pain.
Katarina ran to Bloom, the undeads had now snapped out from their momentary trance and attacked her as she ran but Katarina was like an arrow, her course never strayed from Bloom, and nothing that stood in her way remained there.
There is nothing you can do, your death is inevitable.
Antony seethed, the undeads were stalking towards him, teasing him as a cat might tease a mouse half dead. Antony knew that if it were not for his godly heritage he wouldn't be breathing.
Godly heritage.
I am the son of a god, he realized.
Antony looked to Katarina, she had one of Bloom's arms over her shoulders now and was hoisting her to her feet. Bloom being Bloom was still fighting, using her now procured whip to strike out at any undeads that leapt towards them.
An undead jumped forward but Antony stabbed through it with his trident and tossed it to the side. He groaned, that one motion took so much effort.
"Antony" he heard Katarina say as soon as she reached him. "They're too many"
"I know" he said. He looked to Bloom, her hand was pressed to her abdomen where the undead had bitten her, white blood seeped through the gaps in her fingers. "You are hurt"
"Really?" Bloom said. Her voice, though lidded with pain, was sharp with sarcasm. "I didn't know"
Antony almost laughed but was reminded of the undeads surrounding them. He knew now what he had to do.
"On my signal both of you run inside" Antony said, as he slashed another undead.
"Don't try at nobility" Bloom said as she kicked out at another. "It does not suit you"
"I wouldn't dare" he said, he looked down at his blood on the floor and smiled. "I'm a demigod after all"
He knew the both of them were confused, but he didn't even try to explain. He reached within himself for that spark of godly power mixed in with humanity just as his father had taught him to do long ago. It was there and Antony grasped it.
There was a rush of magical energy and he felt everything wash away until his senses latched on one thing, the only form of water he could find in this dead world.
Blood.
"Antony, what are you doing?" Katarina yelled over the rush, the undeads were suddenly inching backwards, the symbols on their necks flickering.
You are no longer my son, you cannot use my power.
Yet he was using it, all he needed to do was concentrate.
I control you Antony, not the other way around.
Antony felt the power wane but he didn't let it go, not without saving the girls. He shut out his father's voice and focused.
Soon all the undeads began to rise in the air, he could feel the brackish blood that pulsed through their dead veins, an imitation of the real thing, but it was water none the less, the fluid that gave rise to every other in any other world.
Antony felt it stir under his will, the undeads shrieking out in a pain he didn't know they could feel.
"Now!" He yelled and with that he struck his trident into the ground.
There was a brief, heavy silence.
And then every undead in the air burst apart in a shower of blood and body parts, the sound of it like a chorus of pops and splats.
Antony panted as the magic fell away, and then the voice came again.
Why do you even try?, it was faint now, as if it spoke from below many layers. You will die fighting for him, if not today then another.
Antony laughed, watching the blood fall in a wild shower, he could hear the girls calling his name and that too seemed to be coming from a distance.
"Don't count on it father" he whispered.
And then he fell to the floor with a thud.
***
Melchior and Marcus had just reached the third floor when they heard a large crash from below them. Melchior looked to Marcus but he was already ascending the stairs.
"Don't worry, he'll be fine" Marcus said reassuringly, and then he disappeared up the stairs.
Melchior wasn't sure, a part of him, the part that always thought about what Casmir would do, wanted to run back down the stairs to help Sal, but he knew that would be foolishness. Sal was born to be warrior, whatever it was he was facing he would emerge victorious.
The third floor was quiet, so quiet Melchior could hear Lamech humming with energy at his side. Still he walked forward, keeping his senses alert for anything more unusual that what already was unusual.
Melchior observed, as he searched, that the rooms on this floor were different from the ones on the first floor. They didn't have beds and sinks and windows. They were completely enclosed and dark, scary looking mortal contraptions occupying their spaces.
Then he heard wailing.
Melchior's heart leapt and he whirled around, Lamech flying from it's sheath, expecting to cut an undead clean in two.
There was nothing though, just as it had been before.
Then he heard it again, that same wailing. He sheathed Lamech and listened, and when it came again he followed the sound.
He reached a room that had it's doors and wall made entirely out of glass. From where he stood Melchior could make out numerous glass boxes with white lights shining in them. They were the only illumination in the room and several of them flickered like the tail of a firefly.
Melchior pushed open the glass door and the sound of wailing intensified. He walked in and passed the glass cases.
There were baby sized lumps in them, all of them still and lying on their sides. Melchior forgot for a moment that he was in Nowhere, that this wasn't just a mortal hospital and that these were not mortal children, but the crying sounded real, as real as the clicking of his boots on the floor.
He finally got to one of the glass boxes, and there, with it's hands and feet waving in the air, was a crying baby.
At first Melchior thought the baby was trapped in the glass box. Then he saw the symbols encircling it's neck, it's blood red skin, and it's open cranium revealing the remains of it's brain. It raised it's eyelids and empty eye sockets stared back at him, greenish liquid spilling out of them like tears. It smiled at Melchior, still wailing, and spat. Melchior stepped back in horror as the glass lid of the box started melting.
Suddenly the room was filled with wailing and all the glass boxes in the room started to melt. Little undead babies crawled out of them, smiling as greenish liquid spilled from the corners of their empty sockets.
Melchior ran out of the room but the wailing and the babies followed him as he went.
As he reached the end of the hallway, he pressed his back to the wall and watched in the red light as the undeads slowly made their way to him. He'd been training, had imagined slicing Percival and Neptune to ribbons, but he hadn't imagined anything like this, he hadn't prepared for this.
He was terrified.
And that's when Lamech hummed the loudest.
It unsheathed itself and settled in Melchior's hand and like a splash of cold water, he felt a rush of magical energy, the runes on Lamech glowed bright green and Melchior raised it up as Lamech whispered to him, it's words for the first time completely comprehensible.
You don't fear them, they fear you, you are destruction, you are fear.
***
Marcus headed straight into the hallway as soon as he reached the top floor, the newfound control over his magic coursing through his body like electricity.
He searched every room but they were all empty, literally empty, no beds, no trolleys, no gurneys, nothing. Marcus had lived in the forest his whole life but he'd been to a few mortal hospitals, it was extremely unusual for the rooms on an entire floor to be void of anything. Not even a discarded bandage.
His search for Percival proved fruitless as he reached the end of the hall. He was disappointed that he had not found anything and was ready to turn and meet up with Sal and the rest, when he sensed it. Then smelt it.
The vile, pungent smell of black magic.
He turned and saw something staring back at him at the other end of the hall. It's red glowing eyes were sharp in the darkness, the runes on it's neck pulsing.
Marcus Shifted.
He felt as his clothes tore apart and his spine stretched, felt as he went on all fours and fur began to sprout out of his pores, felt as his face turned into a snout and his tails grew to their full length.
It was a thrill to Shift, to feel that burst of power ripple through you as you became something more, something powerful.
Marcus growled at the creature and it growled back, then it stepped into the red moonlight streaming through the dirty window.
Marcus couldn't believe his eyes.
The creature was a werewolf, it's ribcage exposed and crawling with maggots. It's canine teeth were brown and sharp. It's fur was dirty and unkept, one of its front paws was nothing but bone and the other had claws that pointed out like daggers.
Marcus's emotions became a whirlwind, spinning from shock, to sadness, to fear, before settling on a wild burning anger. Whether it was seeing a werewolf, one that could easily have been from his own pack, being reduced to nothing but a puppet or the fact that he was tired of watching Percival do all these horrible things to creatures who were supposed to rest in peace, he didn't know.
All he knew was that a fire had built up in his heart and he let it out with a bark as he lunged at the creature standing before him.
***
Katarina didn't know how long she would have stood shell shocked if Antony had not crashed to the floor in exhaustion. Blood was still raining down on them, the liquid like green paste.
"Antony!" She exclaimed as she fell to the floor sticky with blood and raised his head to her lap where she let it rest. His eyes were closed, his face and hair stained with red dirt and a mixture of green and gold blood.
His blood.
She looked down at his body and saw that blood still oozed from the wounds all over his chest and abdomen. His armour was in shreds, chunks of his flesh were gone and his breathing was shallow.
But he was breathing. It seemed a miracle that he was.
"Antony, can you hear me?, please let me know if you're okay"
She heard a sound come from him, like a cough, and then it came again and a smile spread across his face. Was he laughing?
"And here I was thinking you hated me" he said, his voice came out like a croak, and Katarina was reminded of those moments before Casmir died, of the way his voice had croaked just like this.
If Antony died what would she tell Sal?
"Where's the necklace I gave you?" She asked even as she searched his neck. He didn't answer, but she found it, the green pendant dim and lying flat against his hard chest.
She took it off him and broke it into two. Then she shoved a piece into his mouth. He took it without complaint and swallowed it.
His eyes flew open and he took in a large breath. There was a shimmer in them, the crystals gleaming with internal light.
"Oh my" was all he said.
"That should stop the bleeding and keep you going" Katarina said. "Can you stand?"
He looked at her and she couldn't help noticing that his eyes had never held such softness towards her before.
"I can try" he said.
She stood up slowly, shifting her hands to under his arms and helping him up to his feet. He groaned as they stood, his entire body tense from the pain, until he was on his feet, his arm resting over Katarina's shoulders.
She turned to look for Bloom who was also on her feet, a part of her brown tunic was torn off and wrapped around her stomach, her braided hair tangled, her breath coming out in hard, heavy pants.
"Bloom…."
"I'm fine" she said in between breaths. She looked at Antony. "We should get him to Sal, a healing charm may not be enough"
Katarina nodded and handed Bloom the other half of the charm.
"Here this will help you" Katarina said.
Bloom looked sheepishly at the charm, then took it from Katarina's hand and popped in her mouth. Her milky green eyes lit up and she breathed, as if for the first time in a long time.
Katarina turned to the hospital. She could see red lights shining from within, strange sounds echoing loudly.
"Come on, we need to find the others"
The three of them hurried towards the hospital, half limping, half carrying and half jogging through the mess of dismembered undeads.
As they pushed the glass doors open they saw that the first floor was empty, but from the sounds coming from above them they knew where the fight was.
They climbed up the stairs, Katarina trying her best to be careful with Antony as they ascended.
The sounds were getting louder, shrieks and screeches and sounds of slicing. As they finally reached the last steps Katarina will never forget the scene that met them.
Sal stood in the midst of hundreds of corpses, his tunic drenched with green blood, his silver hair stained with it, Gemini grasped firmly in his hands and dripping the green substance to the floor. He turned to them and Katarina saw that his eyes were glowing, like two spheres of blue fire.
When they landed on Katarina and Antony they dimmed and went wide with worry.
"What the hell happened?" he asked, as his blades turned to rings and he pulled out his wand from his boot.
"Antony tried to be a hero" Bloom said.
"That is not precisely what happened" Antony said.
Sal sighed and waved his wand and the healing glyph shone on Antony's arm, the claw and teeth marks began to close up and Antony stood on his own. Katarina was instantly grateful for the reduced weight on her shoulders.
"How do you feel now?" Sal asked.
Antony nodded, the colour had returned to his face and his crystalline eyes were bright with life. He reached out his hand and his trident flew from outside into his grasp.
"Good" Sal said as another healing glyph shone on Bloom's arm. "you guys should check on Melchior and Marcus, I heard a few noises up...." There was a loud thud from above them. "..stairs"
"Let's move" said Antony and he and Bloom disappeared up the stairs.
Katarina was about to follow them but was stopped by Sal who held her arm, she looked at him confused and surprised until he reached for her cheek and brushed it with his thumb, it came away wet and red with blood.
"You have a wound" he said, his voice husky, his eyes trained on that spot on her cheek as if it were the most important thing in the world. She had known it was there but it hardly seemed something of much concern at the moment.
"Let me heal you" he said.
"It's just a scratch" she protested, but he was already waving his wand and she saw a faint glimmer as the glyph shone and felt as the wound closed.
"Consider it a thank you" he said with a smile. "For helping Antony up those stairs"
"I didn't do it for him" she said.
He fell silent at that, his eyes settling on hers as they always did. Suddenly, it didn't feel like they were in a necromancer's fortress anymore, it felt like it was just the two of them seated on her front porch together, the two of them walking on the bridge of vines over the crystal clear waters of Fey Land, the two of them in Mammon's realm surrounded by a shower of melting gold.
"We should get going" he said as he retracted his hand and tucked his wand away. He didn't wait for a reply. He dashed down the hall and went up the stairs two steps at a time.
Katarina followed, aware of Diana's mark on her chest. A reminder that she could never love him.
Not in the ways she wished to.