Indifference  is the strongest force in the universe. It makes everything it touches meaningless. Love and hate don't stand a chance against it. It lets neglect and decay and monstrous injustice go unchecked. It doesn't act, it allows. And that's what gives it so much power

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I sat with my back against the last oak tree at High School, a book on my knees. This was my favorite spot to read on campus.

And guess what? First period hadn't even started yet.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the bell suddenly rang. Talk about perfect timing!

The book slipped off my lap, but I swiftly picked it up before it kissed the grass. I had grabbed it from the school library I packed my stuff into my school bag and trudged down the hill, across the field, and into the halls with the blue lockers, now buzzing with students rushing to make it to first period on time.

It was kinda fun to watch. The freshmen sprinted like they were in a race for their lives, while the seniors lounged against lockers as if time had no power over them.

I pushed through the crowd, making my way to English class. I hated being late, not because I was a perfect student or anything, but because I couldn't stand the judgmental stares that followed tardiness

I wasn't late. But, I found my Chemistry teacher talking to a teacher from another section. She still hadn't stepped foot in the class. So, I did my best to become invisible, blending into the air. I slipped past the two old gossipers. Then, I entered the classroom. Only to find a quarter of the students were there.

I sat at the middle desk in the corner. I gazed out the window at the red school walls. They reminded me of the red fort I visited when I was 8 years old

 The playground was bustling with students and swirling sands. It was a testament to the school's liveliness. The clouds in the sky had various shapes. The leaves of the trees danced gracefully in the wind.

It is believed that around 8 months old, we start understanding object permanence - the concept that things continue to exist even when we can't see them. For example, a toy in another room still exists even if we can't see it. Once we grasp this idea, we know the toy is there, just out of sight.

Sometimes, I feel like I didn't fully develop this concept. I tend to focus on people only when they are present or directly involved in my life, like close friends or family who I interact with regularly. If someone is not constantly in touch, they slip my mind as I get caught up in my own thoughts and activities.

Even with close friends and family, if they don't reach out, I might not think about them often. But when they do, it feels like we just spoke yesterday, no matter how much time has passed. For those I'm not close to, they simply fade from my thoughts and don't take up space in my mind.

"Disha," my brother said as I sat in front of him. His words hit me like a punch. They hit a place I never knew existed. "You don't love mom and dad, but you feel indebted to them. gratitude for raising you.""

His words cut deep. They revealed truths I had never admitted. Maybe, I had never cared to admit. But now, I know

"You didn't miss me, right?" My friend's voice quivered with hurt as she spoke. Her words were full of accusation and resignation. "I knew it. It's always been like this." The weight of past disappointments hung heavy in her tone. For you, people aren't friends. They are mere toys to be observed briefly and then discarded." Her voice trailed off into a whimper, baring the pain she had long held within.

"I wouldn't feel so guilty if she had screamed at me," I thought. I was grappling with my own emotions.

But she didn't. There was no eruption of emotion, just a silent departure. "She just... left." I realized it like a relentless tide. It stirred a mix of regret and understanding. "And that's why I get it," I murmured to myself. A weight settled in my heart as I thought about the fragility of human connections.

"You are good person ,Disha .I am grateful .I met you " Her last goodbye, seems to echo in my heart still now 

' good person and me' I scoff in disbelief, She was wrong 

 I'm not a good person

Ask anyone who loves me

I never write, I never call

I never think about anyone at all 

I just observe 

"Disha?" The teacher's voice jolted me out of my thought. "Care to answer my question after your daydream?""

I froze as the stern tone snapped me out of my thoughts, feeling the weight of all eyes on me.

In that moment, I longed to retreat into my own safe shell. I felt like a turtle avoiding the spotlight.

I reflected on my tendency to be indifferent. But i also have social anxiety.

 It was a contradiction within me. On one hand, I often found myself detached and indifferent to the world around me. But, I also struggled with strong social anxiety. I felt the pressure of social situations. 

I wondered: does anyone in this world not contradict themselves?

I felt a flush of warmth spreading from my neck to my cheeks, then down to my toes. "What was the question?" I managed to choke out.

she frowned  , angry at me for not paying attention " question no. 14,page no. 123, write answer on board"  the teacher said. She held the chemistry textbook.

It was conversion question from organic chemistry, to change acetic acid into propanoic acid , It wasn't difficult ,I know it's answer, After writting answer I sat down but remember my lesson to pay attention to class

The bell to change class ring 

Kiyoko who was sitting in front of me , turn to my direction and said " Were you think about that book"

"what book?" confused , I asked

" the book, you were reading near that oak tree, you were thinking about that, right!" she said , looking at me , like she figured me out

"Yeah, you figure me out" I lied

"what was that book name" She asked , curious putting her head on my desk, looking at me

" Dictionary" I replied, noticing  beauty mark in her ears 'pretty' i thought

"huh! what a boring name" she blinked " what was the theme of it"

" I think you get it wrong , I was reading ,Dictionary , the book famous for words meaning" I replied , I know what I am saying is weird, but it's truth

"why?" she asked in disbelief, eyebrow arch

"Dictionaries?"

"Yes"

"That doesn't sound like fun, That sound awful"

"Awful used to mean 'full of awe '.The same meaning as awesome .I learned that from dictionary"

she blinked.

"See?" I said "Fun."

"Disha, you are ...." she pause " weird" 

I just smiled awkwardly at her, It's not first time someone call me weird, to be called weird and robot is more of compliment in my world

Kiyoko then burst into laughter

I wonder , what make her laugh so hard, I was just stating a fact

But , her laughter, I take it as compliment  

Kiyoko was then called by her friends circle ,

ah! peace

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her company, I just prefer mine more

I felt a someone gaze on me from side view, turning to the direct. I saw  a beautiful girl - Eniro  sat at the desk closest to the teacher.  A smile graced her pretty face as soon as our eye meet,  

We both locked in eye battle, before She turn her head toward her friends, 

" hey , have you seen the dinner menu for today " 

"There was only boiled mackerel and some grass. Shouldn't they include at least one meat dish?"

"the school is making me diet even when my own mom gave up on me-"

"but , we wont diet ,even if they do this"

" lets go to bugger queen"

"hey, Eniro let's go to burger queen"

Eniro , who was focusing on her textbook, look at girl who talked to her , smiling "Sure, let's go"

She had long, flowing black hair. It cascaded down her back and framed her piercing green eyes. Her porcelain-like skin was flawless, radiating a subtle glow. She had a confident posture and striking monolids. Her face had an air of mystery and elegance. Her school uniform fits her perfectly. It shows off her small frame and great style. A hint of a floral perfume always lingers in the air around her, adding to her mystique. 

Eniro was always in the front row of the classroom. She eagerly raised her hand when the teacher asked a question. Known for her sociable nature and intelligence, she was always ready to help her classmates. Eniro was a shining star, excelling in her studies and bringing joy to those around her. This gave her diva status in class.

I, on the other hand, am quite different from Eniro. I am friendly with everyone in class, but I only have deep talks with Nozomi and Ayaka. Unfortunately, they are both absent today, practicing for their upcoming race. So, I find myself alone and feeling lonely. But that's okay, as I am naturally introverted. I enjoy being alone, as it gives me the freedom to think and notice things, something I can't do when others are around.

"I'm not lonely" I whisper

that's definitely not brainwashing

As Eniro was about to leave the room, she turn to a girl in the corner wearing glasses. The girl had a serious expression as she stared out the window, lost in thought. The sunlight made her skin glow and her lips appear red. A blush taint her cheeks As she gazed at the Indian girl - Disha

"Hey Eniro, where are you daydreaming off to? Let's go!" Shaking off her trance, Eniro joined the other girls.

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