POV: Baldur
Containment Room, Avengers Base, Earth's Orbit.
Two Hours After the Meeting with Amora.
"Let's try again, from the beginning, for the fifth time, please."
I was at the Avengers Base, in one of the containment rooms designed to hold beings with superhuman abilities. It was a dull room, all silver and devoid of objects, except for a chair where the first guest was seated, wearing a pair of handcuffs and with his body wrapped in chains.
"From the beginning? Well, here we go. First, God was a bit afraid of the dark, so He lit up the light, and then the universe was formed. Then He created Earth, but found it boring, so He started making good things. Cannabis, bacon, beer, and coke. The world was a paradise!"
"What in the name of Odin are you talking about, Wade?" I shout at him, not very patiently.
"Your Majesty asked me to start from the beginning," Deadpool replies, grinning behind his mask.
It all started an hour ago when Alice reported an attack on Angela's team, who were assaulting a SHIELD base. He tried to fight my men, but in the end, he was captured.
"I'm talking about the events that led you to attack the Avengers."
"You have to be clearer, Majesty. Well, the reason is quite simple, you see, I think I accepted a job."
"You think?"
"Yes. I was pretty high this morning, it's Friday, end of the week, and I scored ten kilos of good coke on another job."
"In the names of all the gods!" I shout loudly to contain my anger.
(Do not kill him, do not kill him.)
"Speaking of gods, I must say I never believed in the divine like I do now. In fact, you're almost converting me to homosexuality, actually..."
I ignore the chatterbox in front of me and think about the events of the attack. It was all so ridiculous that I believe this idiot was high when he attacked us. The images of the attack are so absurd that I thought I was being fooled.
While my sister was dealing with the Hydra agents, Deadpool parachuted in front of the base holding two water guns in each hand and with a pink plush unicorn strapped to his belt. He started shooting with the plastic gun like crazy at my soldiers as if it were a real combat. Then, when his ammo ran out, he drew his two katanas from his scabbard and attacked my sister. All of my men and she were shocked by this absurdity, but she acted when he attacked her, and her sword pierced Deadpool's body, but of course, he didn't die. Then she brought him here.
"Hasn't he stopped talking yet?" Angela says, entering the room, holding her sword.
"No, he hasn't."
"I remember you. I understand why you tried to kill me with your sword; I would have done the same if someone shot me with a water gun filled with green tea."
"Angela!"
This time Wade stopped talking, but it was because of my sister's sword that went through his head.
"He tests all my patience. I don't know how many times I 'killed' him on the way to this base," she says, pulling the sword out of Wade's head.
"I know he's irritating, but now I have to start all over again; it's going to be a nightmare."
So we both look at Deadpool's head regenerating until he wakes up and screams.
"That was a devil of a blow. Thanks for helping me train my healing factor, beautiful Amazon. You guys can continue now."
"Continue what, Wade?" I ask, knowing I'll regret the response.
"Isn't it your custom to practice incest? I heard you had beautiful children and all; what's the name of the oldest again? Joffrey?"
And once again, my sister's blade does its job.
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. This damn guy is driving us crazy," I say to my sister.
"Why don't you have one of your sorcerers invade his mind?" my sister suggests.
"Not even the most powerful telepath in this world would dare to enter the mind of this madman."
Then Deadpool wakes up again.
"I had a crazy dream just now. I was having dinner at a restaurant with George Clooney; I was eating a talking fish while a band of giraffes were playing smooth jazz."
"I give up. I didn't want to stoop so low, but it seems I have no choice."
Then I leave the room, leaving my sister with the prisoner. I'm not surprised when I return and see him recovering from another blow.
"Ha, now I had a funnier dream. Wait, what are you going to do with that?"
For the first time, I see Deadpool getting serious.
I'm standing in front of him holding a stuffed animal, a pink unicorn.
"If you're not going to give me my answers, Wade, I'll have to focus my interrogation on this little friend here," I say as I gently stroke the unicorn's head.
"What's up, guys, no need to do this, right? Why don't we go back to torturing me; it's certainly a lot more fun."
"No, I think the first thing I'll do with our little friend here is paint it a different color. I'm thinking something like gray."
"You monster!"
"Are you going to answer me or not?"
"Of course, you leave me no choice," he says, lowering his head like someone whose will has been destroyed.
"I'm leaving, Baldur. This has gone beyond my limit," Angela says as she leaves.
"Once again, why did you attack us?"
"As I said, Hydra hired several mercenaries to give trouble to the Avengers. Of course, if we manage to kill one of you, our reward triples."
"So, was your talk about being high just a lie?"
"Yes, I was conscious when I accepted, but the temptation was stronger afterward, so after taking a good sniff, I confused my killing weapons with the ones I use to entertain children's parties."
"Children's parties?"
"A man's got to do what he can to survive," Wade says, fake crying.
"I also think you weren't the only mercenary hired to give us trouble, am I right?"
"Oh, yes, the idiotic Nazi guys put out an open contract for all super-mercenaries."
This could be a problem, I don't see any mercenary causing harm to the heavyweights of the Avengers, but they can certainly kill or injure everyone else. My new suits may protect Steve, Natasha, Clint, and Sam, but a well-placed shot to the head with special ammunition could take their lives.
"Hey, Wade, how about I hire you?" I inquire, an insane idea brewing in my mind.
"I don't mind working for a being of such spectacular beauty, but are you sure? I don't come cheap, you know," he replies.
"I am the King of the most powerful nation on Earth. Do you think I have money problems?"
"I only accept payment in dollars, like a good American patriot," he says proudly.
"You'll receive payment in pure gold."
"I'm in. Who do I have to kill?" The pride dissipates.
"The mercenaries, of course. For every mercenary who accepts our contract, you must keep them away from us for two weeks. And for every target you take down, I'll increase your reward."
"What the hell are you waiting for? Release me now so I can make it rain blood. After I grab my weapons from my girlfriend's house, of course."
The way I've devised to keep the mercenaries away from us might seem a bit nonsensical, but even though Deadpool is a madman, he excels in this line of work. There shouldn't be many fools who would accept a contract to kill an Avenger, so I think this move already solves the problem.
After finalizing the terms of the contract, I asked my sister to take Wade back to Earth through the portal. My sister helped me, but not before "killing" Wade a few more times during the short journey.
The other Avengers didn't oppose my action; there's no reason to imprison Wade just for using plastic weapons against us, so we can't leave him locked up here.
With that matter resolved, all available Avengers gathered once again in the meeting room. I had to reveal everything I knew about Hydra's final hideout, as well as my conversation with Wanda.
"Can we really trust this Wanda?" Steve asks, seated beside Thor.
Present in the room were: Angela, Amora, Steve, Stark, and Sam. The others were on their missions, except for Bruce, who was assisting them in the control room.
"I assure you she's trustworthy, Steve."
"I trust you, so let's give the girl a chance," he says.
"Apart from the fact that the two siblings were raised as weapons to kill us and harbor hatred towards us, they seem like good people. By the way, Baldur, I think it would be in everyone's interest to let me take a look at your ship," Stark remarks.
"Hatred towards us? I think it's more directed at you, Tony," Sam jokes.
"New rule, rookies can only speak up after being with the Avengers for a year."
"Forget it, Stark. And if you try to use JARVIS to hack into my computer, I'll let Alice deal with him."
Stark became quite interested in my ship when he saw it.
"Stop fooling around, you two, we need to focus on the battle," Angela says.
"Angela's right," Amora agrees, and my sister finds that strange.
"Before that, how are things with Natasha?" I inquire.
"She's having a blast in endless meetings at the UN," Stark replies, chuckling.
"Tell her we need to stall a little longer," I say.
"I've already told her. Now let's start by dividing the teams and the targets."
With Steve making the decisions, Alice activated the hologram in front of the table, displaying information and locations of Hydra's recent bases.
POV: Third Person.
Unknown Location, Deep Space.
At the Same Moment.
"Hurry up, big guy, we need to reach Earth this month!"
"There's no point in yelling at me, Sparky. I'm just the pilot. If you want more speed, go talk to Stretch."
"It's not even fun yelling at him; he's so focused on repairs he doesn't even hear me."
In the cockpit of the damaged ship sat two men side by side. In fact, calling one of them a man is impossible since his entire body is made of orange rocks.
"Do you think we'll make it in time?" I ask the man sitting next to the orange monster. He was a handsome man with blue eyes and blond hair, clad in a skin-tight blue uniform with a "4" symbol on his chest.
"This damn ship has given all it has to give. If it weren't for Sue using her powers to keep it together, we'd be floating in space by now. Meanwhile, Reed was literally using anything he could find on the ship to fix it."
"You didn't answer the question, Ben."
Ben then turns his face to look at his copilot and responds.
"We have to go back because if we don't beat him there, there won't be anything left!"
support me at patreon.com/Lonely_Translator and read chapters in advance