In this world, the most important person to Mo Ran, besides Chu Wanning, was Shi Mei.
Mo Ran used to think that he treated Shi Mei out of love. Although he later found out that wasn't the case, he still treated him well and cherished him.
Even though he gradually felt that Shi Mei had become a stranger. He felt that this tall and charming man was like another person. Even though that bowl of wontons was only sent by Shi Mei on behalf of Chu Wanning, no matter what, Shi Mingjing was still the same Shi Mingjing from back then.
He was the companion who smiled at him and extended his hand to him in the darkness.
He was the senior who accompanied him and was willing to comfort him when he was lonely and unwilling.
Thinking about it, Shi Mei was also an orphan. He didn't have a single relative in this world. Xue Meng was also proud and arrogant. Although he had a good relationship with Shi Mei, after so many years, Shi Mei had never called Xue Meng by his name. Instead, he respectfully called him 'Young Master'.
The only one who could truly call Shi Mei a "friend" was probably only him.
In the end, he also hurt his heart.
Xue Meng hid in the bamboo forest. He crossed his arms and watched for a long time. He saw Mo Ran standing there motionlessly, playing with his silver comb. He seemed to have something on his mind.
After waiting for almost an hour, Xue Meng didn't see any movement. He started to feel like an idiot.
What was he thinking? Why did he think that there was some kind of relationship between Shifu and Mo Ran? Was his brain damaged? The more he stood there, the more he felt awkward. The more he fought, the more he felt that he was baffling. After standing there for a while, Xue Meng turned around and wanted to leave. But as expected, they were fellow disciples. He and Mo Ran made almost the same mistake.
In a moment of relaxation, he didn't control his footsteps.
Mo Ran stood up and said in a deep voice through the gauze curtain, "Who is it?"
"…"
Under the moonlight, Xue Meng walked out unwillingly and awkwardly. He looked away and coughed softly.
Mo Ran was stunned. "What are you doing here?"
"Only the officials are allowed to set fires, but the common people are not allowed to light lamps?" Xue Meng didn't dare to look into Mo Ran's eyes. His gaze drifted. He spoke with conviction, but his face turned red. "I just wanted to see Shizun."
Mo Ran's heart stirred as he vaguely understood the possibility of Xue Meng following him. His face couldn't help but stiffen, but he quickly adjusted his expression. Before Xue Meng noticed, he regained his composure.
"Since you're here, why don't you sit for a while?"
Xue Meng didn't refuse and followed him into the bamboo pavilion.
Mo Ran asked him, "Do you want tea or wine?"
"Tea." Xue Meng said, "You'll get drunk if you drink wine."
There was wine and tea on the table. Mo Ran lit a small red clay stove. In the night, the fire lit up, illuminating his facial features. He boiled the Eight Treasures Tea on the stove. The two brothers sat on the bamboo pavilion bench and leaned against the pavilion pillar, waiting for the water to boil.
Xue Meng asked him, "Why are you here so early? Shi Mei should be on duty for another half the night. "
"I had nothing to do, so I came over." Mo Ran smiled. "Aren't you the same?"
Xue Meng thought for a moment. It seemed to be true.
Mo Ran should be the same as him, just concerned about his Shizun. After all, after the Battle of Sky-Splitting, Mo Ran had gradually changed. Now that many years had passed, he was poles apart from that haggling youth. The disciple Chu Wanning saved with his life had finally grown into an upright and upright man.
Lowering his eyelashes, Xue Meng muttered to himself for a moment, then suddenly smiled.
Mo Ran asked, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just remembered the last time you were in Closed Door Meditation." Xue Meng said, "At that time, you still didn't accept Shizun. After ten whole days, you only came to see him once. Then you said you weren't capable enough, that you were afraid you wouldn't be able to serve him, so you ran to your father's place to organize the books. At that time, I was still angry at you. I didn't expect that after seven years, you would become like this. "
Mo Ran was silent for a moment, then said, "People change."
Xue Meng asked, "If I gave you another chance and let you go back to seven years ago, would you still run?"
"What do you think?"
Xue Meng seriously thought about it, then said, "I'm afraid I would want to spend ten days and ten nights by Shizun's side."
Mo Ran lowered his eyes and laughed.
"Hmph, what are you laughing at?" Xue Meng changed his position, one leg propped up on the bamboo pavilion bench, his elbow resting leisurely, his head tilted back slightly, his gaze moving to the corners of his eyes as he looked at his cousin. "Right now, you and I both have the same feelings for Shizun. What I think, you shouldn't be too different."
Mo Ran lowered his eyes. "En."
Xue Meng's eyes widened, then he looked at the wind chimes in the corner of the pavilion. He said, "Very good. When Shizun died, I resented him for using his life to exchange for yours. But today, it seems that you aren't completely heartless."
Mo Ran didn't know what to say, so he made another "en" sound.
The bells jingled, tinkling in the wind.
After a moment of silence, Xue Meng couldn't help but turn his head, his eyes burning, his brows slightly furrowed. He suddenly asked, "Cough, actually, there's something I want to ask you."
"Speak."
"Tell me the truth. That day in the back of the mountain, you …"
Mo Ran actually knew that Xue Meng had always wanted to ask this question.
After so many twists and turns, he still couldn't escape. He waited for him to continue.
But Xue Meng stammered for a long time, his face white then red, red then white, in the end, he still couldn't say those words. He just stared at Mo Ran and said, "Are you really … looking for sweet-scented osmanthus candy and rice cakes?"
The water boiled, and wisps of steam rose and fell in the cold night, converging and dispersing.
The two people's gazes met. Xue Meng's eyes were full of anxiety, flashing with flames. Mo Ran's black eyes were like an ancient well without ripples, bottomless.
"You can drink tea now."
Xue Meng suddenly grabbed his arm and stared at him, "Are you really looking for sweet-scented osmanthus candy and rice cakes?!"
"… …"
Mo Ran paused for a moment, then broke free from his hand. He went to the table and picked up the pitch black cast iron pot, filling a cup for each person.
Then he raised his eyes and said, "If we're not looking for sweet-scented osmanthus candy and rice cakes, what else could we be doing?"
"You — —"
"Shizun wouldn't easily deceive you. Even if you don't believe me, you have to believe him."
Xue Meng was like a little snake that had its weak spot pinched. The hand on his knee spasmed slightly, then he suddenly lowered his head and said, "It's not that I don't believe him."
"Then let's drink tea." Mo Ran sighed, "What are you thinking about all day, it's all nonsense." He lowered his head and blew on the steam. In the dense steam, his face looked so handsome, but it was also a little blurry, like the moon in the water, making people unable to see him clearly.
The Eight Treasures Tea was warm, and the taste was salty and mellow. Xue Meng slowly drank a few mouthfuls, feeling that the gurgling heat gradually calmed his frantic heartbeat. He finished the tea, but the cup was still warm and steaming.
Xue Meng lowered his head and suddenly said in a daze, as if he was talking to Mo Ran, but also as if he was talking to himself, "I really care about him too much, that's why I think so much. Even the slightest movement, I … …"
"I know." Mo Ran said, "I feel the same."
Xue Meng turned his face and looked at him.
Mo Ran leaned against the pavilion pillar, the tea in his cup was not finished. He drank another mouthful, then said, "Just now, because of this, I misunderstood Shi Mei. At least you're better than me, you're not so impulsive."
Xue Meng was slightly surprised, "No wonder you saw him leave after saying a few words to you. What did you misunderstand about him?"
"… … It's fine if you don't say it." Mo Ran smiled bitterly, "I can think more than you can."
Xue Meng wrinkled his nose, "He's a pitiful person. During the famine, people exchanged children for food. If father didn't save him, he would have become the meat in the famine … … Shi Mei has always been very good to you, you can't bully him."
Mo Ran said, "Yes, I know. I was just too impulsive before, I won't do it again."
The two of them guarded Chu Wanning in the pavilion, one word at a time, and chatted with each other.
This feeling was very strange. Under the moonlight, Mo Ran looked at Xue Meng's handsome, naturally arrogant face. This was the person who opened a hole in his chest in his previous life, and every time they met, it was accompanied by tears and blood.
He didn't expect that they could still talk so calmly. Under the moonlight, in the lotus pond, brewing tea and wine.
Yes, brewing wine.
After drinking the tea, Xue Meng didn't plan to leave.
Mo Ran heated up another pot of wine and drank a few cups. As long as he didn't get drunk, it was fine.
But he seemed to have overestimated Xue Meng's alcohol tolerance.
Among the four of them, Chu Wanning was the one who didn't get drunk even after a thousand cups. He was also considered passable. Shi Mei's alcohol tolerance was very poor, but the most hopeless one was Xue Meng.
After two cups of Pear Blossom White, this person was a bit dizzy and spoke with a lisp.
Mo Ran was worried that he would cause trouble, so he quickly put away the wine and didn't let him drink anymore.
Although Xue Meng's consciousness was muddled, he hadn't completely lost it. He was still conscious, and his face was bright red. He smiled and said, "It's good that you put it away. I … I can't drink anymore."
"Okay." Mo Ran said, "Go back and rest. Can you walk by yourself? If you can't, I'll send a message to uncle to come over. "
"Oh, oh, he doesn't need to come over, he doesn't need to come over." Xue Meng smiled and waved his hand. "I can walk back by myself. I know the way."
Mo Ran was still worried, so he put a finger in front of him. "How many is this?"
"One."
He then pointed at Chu Wanning. "Who is this?"
Xue Meng smiled. "Big brother immortal."
"… Speak properly."
"Haha, Shizun, I recognize you." Xue Meng hugged the pillar and laughed.
Mo Ran frowned and silently cursed Xue Meng. Why was this guy's alcohol tolerance getting worse year after year? He still wasn't at ease, so he pointed at himself and asked, "Then what about me? Look carefully, don't joke around. Who am I?"
Xue Meng was stunned for a while.
At this moment, it was as if time had overlapped with old memories. That year at the Meng Po Lobby on New Year's Eve, Xue Meng was also drunk. He recognized Shi Mei's face and said that Chu Wanning was his big brother immortal. Then he looked at Mo Ran and laughed, saying that Mo Ran was a dog.
Mo Ran looked at him calmly, preparing to secretly beat Xue Meng up if he said the word dog again. Then he would call Xue Zhengyong over to take this little drunkard back.
But Xue Meng just stared at him blankly for a while. He didn't know what kind of strange expression was on his face, but in the end, he opened his mouth and slightly pouted, as if he was going to say the word dog.
Mo Ran wanted to reach out and cover his mouth.
"Big brother …"
Before he could raise his hand, Xue Meng looked at him with hazy eyes. Slowly, softly, he called out, "Big brother."
Mo Ran was stunned, as if he had been stung by a bee. The stinging pain spread into sharp pain, and the sharp pain became numb because of the poison. His throat was blocked, and he couldn't say a word. He could only stare blankly at Xue Meng's face. Young, arrogant, high-spirited facial features.
On this face, Mo Ran was used to seeing hatred, anger, and disdain.
But he had never seen his expression at this moment.
Xue Meng stroked the Longcheng Saber at his waist. Mo Ran didn't hesitate to kill the big demon spirit and seize the Supreme-Grade Spirit Stone to give it to him to embed in.
Without this saber, perhaps he wouldn't have been able to win first place in the Spiritual Mountain Conference. Without this saber, perhaps he could only be reduced to a nameless cultivator, bearing the injury of Zhongyong.
When he was awake, because of various reasons, because of his self-esteem and face, he had never properly said a word of thanks to Mo Ran. But in reality, he was very uncomfortable — every day when he cleaned Longcheng, his heart was filled with a myriad of emotions, all sorts of feelings.
Especially after returning from the Confucian Wind Sect and finding out that it was Mo Ran who saved him from Xu Shuanglin, Xue Meng suffered even more. After waking up and hearing that Mo Ran and Chu Wanning's whereabouts were still unknown, he cried bitterly. Everyone thought he was only crying for his master. Only Xue Meng himself knew. That night, he hugged the Longcheng Saber as he lay on his sickbed, gazing into the darkness, and said hoarsely,
"Big brother, I'm sorry."
Where are you … Are you and master … Are you all right …?
Mo Ran couldn't speak, and he couldn't move his feet. His entire body seemed to be fixed, standing stiffly in place.
Yesterday's events were like flowing water, rapidly flashing before his eyes.
He thought of the peak of life and death in his previous life. Xue Meng went up the mountain alone, standing in the desolate Shaman Mountain Hall, and asked him about Chu Wanning's whereabouts with red eyes.
Xue Meng said, "Mo Weiyu, turn around and look …"
He thought of when he became the Emperor Ta, Xue Meng and Mei Hanxue ambushed and assassinated him. In broad daylight, Mei Hanxue blocked his path. Xue Meng angrily shouted, his face twisted sinisterly, and the saber stabbed into his chest, causing blood to spurt out like a hurricane.
Xue Meng said, "Mo Weiyu, no one can save you. There is no place for you in this world!"
He thought of all the grudges, the anger, the passion, the dancing of dragons and serpents.
He thought of the day Chu Wanning died in this life. Xue Meng suddenly jumped up and roared as he pressed him against the wall. His carotid artery bulged, and he roared like a trapped beast, "How can you say he won't save you … How can you say he won't save you!!"
Suddenly, his mind flashed, and his eyes seemed to light up.
Perhaps it was because Mo Ran stood stiffly like this for too long, so long that it reminded him of his earliest, earliest, most vague memories.
He seemed to have seen two youths. One was extremely thin, cowering in fear, like an abandoned dog used to being whipped. He squatted uneasily in front of the small table in the disciple's room, squatting on the bench. His small hands were tightly clenched, protecting his knees, motionless. That was himself.
There was another youth, with a face as white as snow, proud and cute, like a proud and dazzling little pheasant with bright wings. He stood, with a beautiful curved sword at his waist, one foot on the chair, and used his dark round eyes to look at him disdainfully without blinking.
"My mother asked me to come and see you." The youth Xue Meng hummed, "I heard you're my cousin? … You look so shabby. "
Mo Ran did not say anything, and lowered his head. He was not used to being stared at like this.
Xue Meng asked, "Hey, what's your name? Mo … That Mo … What? Tell me, I don't remember. "
"… …"
"I'm asking you a question, why aren't you saying anything?"
"… …"
"Are you mute?!"
After not saying anything, the youth Xue Meng was so angry that he laughed, "Everyone says you're my cousin, but look at how timid and skinny you are, running away as soon as the wind blows. How can I have such an embarrassing older brother, what a joke."
Mo Ran lowered his head, and was even more unwilling to talk to him.
Just like that, he was silent. Suddenly, a bright red color appeared in front of him. The person who gave him the red color was too rough, and it almost poked the tip of his nose. Mo Ran was stunned for a while, and then realized that it was a stick of candied haws.
"For you."
Xue Meng said.
"I can't eat it anyway."
He brought a box of snacks and casually threw it on the table, as if he was giving alms. But Mo Ran looked at him in a daze, and only felt that he was very generous, very generous. In the past, no one was willing to give him so many things, not even kneeling to beg.
"I … … this … …"
"What?" Xue Meng frowned, "What do you mean by this, this, this, what do you want to say?"
"This stick, can I eat all of it?"
"Ah?"
"Actually, just one is enough … … If you can't eat it, I'll … …"
"Are you crazy? Are you a dog? Eat other people's leftovers? "Xue Meng opened his eyes wide, and said in disbelief," Of course it's all yours! This whole stick, this whole box, is all yours! "
The lacquered box of snacks was exquisitely made, and there were red-crowned cranes and auspicious clouds painted with gold powder. It was a style of grandeur that Mo Ran had never seen before.
He didn't dare to reach out his hand, but his black eyes kept staring at the box. Xue Meng was a little scared, so he simply raised his hand and opened the box for him. A rich milky, fruity, red bean paste, and mud mixed together, three horizontal and three vertical, a total of nine snacks. Some were golden and crisp, some were pink and soft, and some had crystal clear skin, and one could faintly see the soft red bean paste inside.
The young Xue Meng didn't even look at it, and pushed the whole box of snacks in front of him, and said impatiently, "Hurry up and eat, if it's not enough, I still have more. I can't finish it all, just enough to share with you."
This young master's attitude was bad, and his tone was also bad. His round eyes were rolling up, and his nose was up in the air, looking down on others.
But the snacks that were handed to him were sweet and soft.
After two lifetimes of bitterness and blood, that faint sweetness seemed to return to the tip of his tongue. Mo Ran looked at Xue Meng's drunken face under the moonlight, and Xue Meng also narrowed his eyes, looking at him. After a while, Xue Meng laughed, but because he was drunk, no one knew what he was laughing about.
He let go of the pillar he was hugging, as if he wanted to go over and pat Mo Ran's shoulder, but his steps were unsteady, and he stumbled into Mo Ran's arms.
"Oh … brother …"
Mo Ran stared blankly, and then slowly lowered his eyes, lightly patting Xue Meng's back. The night wind blew, and his scattered hair covered half of his handsome face, so no one knew what kind of expression Mo Ran had. After a long time, Xue Meng, who couldn't hold his liquor, fell asleep in his arms. At this time, Mo Ran said hoarsely —
"Xue Meng, I'm sorry, I don't deserve to be your brother …"