Terrance placed his hand on the grey metal of the boiler for a moment and the quickly pulled it off, making me jump. He looked at his hand for a minute, shocked.
"You idiot, did you burn yourself?!" I scolded. I didn't expect him to something foolish like that. Was he trying to show off to me or something? I sighed. "Let me see your hand."
There are a lot of damp clothes in this room. It would be best to run it under tap water, but this would do for now. I went closer to look at his hand when suddenly he put it on my cheek. The gentle warmth of his skin seeped into mine. It felt so good that I suddenly lost track of thought; I closed my eyes and melted into his touch. It is like I existed to be in his hands. Before I knew it, I had started rubbing my face against like a cat. When I saw that Terrance is watching me, my face felt hot to the ears.
I scowled at him. "What are you staring at?"
Terrance didn't answer me, but while I eyed him down, he placed another warmed hand on my naked waist. My breath stuttered from shock. This really felt amazing, especially after all the cold I went through today, I am defenceless to this kind of attack. My body started to relax and surrender to his hands. He gently pressed on my skin. Playing with me like I am a doll. My breath quickened. This is dangerous. I tried to suppress my dirty thoughts. Terrance couldn't find out my feelings like this.
Suddenly, Terrance pushed back into some closes. And I was shocked out of the dreamlike state I had been in, just in time to hear the door to the boiler room rattle open.
"Mummy!" Terrance said.
My heart raced, and I put my hand over my mouth to muffle my breathing. Terrance's mother couldn't see me, and that also meant I couldn't see her either. But in my mind, I could see her hollowed out eyes, wrinkly skin, and long sharp fingers. I didn't think I had done anything wrong, but I still didn't want her to find me.
I listened to his footsteps as Terrance went toward his mother at the door. Even just listening to it, I started to shake. Then what was it like for Terrance. I closed my eyes and hugged myself. A slap sounded like a gunshot and echoed into a high-pitched whistle. I trembled and started to cry. All I did was hide. If I had stepped out, his mother wouldn't have hit him in front of me. This is my fault.
The lights turned off, the door slammed shut, and I sat and cried alone.
* * *
When I got home, my little sister cornered me at the door. She put her hands on her hips and furrowed her eyebrows. "And just what time do you call this?"
I took off my shoes and put them neatly next to the other pairs. "I'm really sorry I'm late. Could you tell mum and dad that I got back?"
My little ran up and hugged me. This is really strange for her. Usually, she would have run off and tried to get me in as much trouble as possible. I hugged her back. The rabbit shaped pyjama she wore is super soft. "What's wrong, big sister? Did that boy do anything bad to you?"
"W-what are you talking about?"
She just gave me a pitying look, and I glared back at her. Just you wait till you hit puberty, let's see what happens then.
"There, there." She patted me on the head. "No need to cry any more."
I really wasn't in the mood for her teasing. She had this annoying habit of thinking that she was an expert on everything. If she had been in that room with me today, would my little sister still be able to talk like that? Pushing her out of the way, I went to my room and slammed the door shut. I buried my face in my pillow and started to cry again.
A few minutes later, there was some knocking at my door.
"What?"
"It's just me." Said my mum's voice from the other side of the door. "Can I come in."
"Yeah."
I moved a pillow out of the way, and she sat down on my bed. She let me rest my head on her lap and gently stroked my hair for a little while. "Wasn't it cold outside, wearing just that?"
"Yeah." I had learned my lesson now. There's no way I'm wearing this again until the weather is at least five degrees warmer. "Mum, do you think I'm useless?"
"Of course you are." That felt like a jab to the stomach. Couldn't she at least deny it a little, if only to comfort me? "You rarely do your chores, you don't tidy up after yourself, you never help me with cooking-"
"Okay, okay, I got it." I got off her lap. Yeah, I'm completely useless. I am just a burden to everyone, even Terrence.
"I wasn't finished." Mum continued. "You are useless, but that's okay."
She wiped the tears from my cheek. I didn't really understand. "It is okay to be useless?"
"Of course, everyone's useless some of the time, but people aren't machines. There are a lot of things that are valued in a person. Usefulness is just some small part of it." She kissed my forehead. "Now, go wash your face and get ready for dinner."