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Chapter 8 - Never Ending

After hastily dressing myself, the young miss re-entered the room.

"I-I'm sorry about earlier, Taylor," she stammered, her cheeks tinged with a faint blush.

"No, it should be me who should be sorry, young miss, to show such a shameful sight in front of you. I'm a failure as a butler," I replied, my voice laced with regret. It wasn't her fault in the first place.

"O-okay..." she murmured softly, her embarrassment palpable.

Truly, how embarrassing for me. 

As a butler, to expose myself in such a manner to my master—it was a humiliation beyond words. I never knew shame and humiliation could be this painful. 

Just seeing the young miss avoid eye contact with me, it was evident that she felt embarrassed on my behalf.

To subject such an innocent young lady to the sight of a man's body before her marriage—it felt like a crime. 

Perhaps I should end myself? 

No, that would be too extreme. I doubted the young miss would stand for it if I were to suddenly end my life in such a manner and with such little reason…

Despite my internal turmoil, I knew I had to maintain my composure for her sake. 

With a deep breath, I resolved to carry on, determined to make amends for my indiscretion and to serve my young miss with the dignity and respect she deserved.

As Stella sat on my bed, slowly sipping the tea I had just brewed, she appeared calm and collected. 

But as I observed her, a thought occurred to me—wasn't this her first time being inside a man's room? 

The mere idea sent a shiver down my spine; if the duke were to find out about this clandestine visit, it would surely spell trouble for both of us.

In an effort to diffuse any potential complications, I decided to address the situation directly. 

"Young miss," I began, my voice carefully measured, "although I appreciate your kind visit, may I know the reason as to why you visited me?"

I scratched my head nervously, hoping to appear nonchalant despite the underlying tension. 

While it was evident that Stella had likely come seeking answers due to my absence, I couldn't help but wonder why she had felt compelled to visit me personally. 

After all, she could have easily dispatched one of the maids or other servants to confirm my status. 

It struck me as odd that she seemed unaware of what had transpired, considering the usual efficiency of the household staff in relaying information.

As I awaited her response, a knot of apprehension formed in the pit of my stomach. 

Whatever her reason for being here, I knew that the implications could be far-reaching, and I braced myself for whatever might come next.

"H-huh? O-oh, that was because you didn't come to attend to me yesterday, and today as well, you didn't come on time... So I just wanted to confirm things with you," Stella explained, her voice tinged with disappointment. 

"I'm sorry, Taylor. I didn't think Father's task for you yesterday would be so overwhelming to the point that you fainted. I even accidentally saw you as you dressed up..."

"No, please don't apologize to me, young miss!" I interjected quickly, reaching out to touch her hands in reassurance. Kneeling down to meet her gaze, I saw surprise flash across her face as she blushed intensely and avoided my eyes.

"Wh-what...?" she mumbled, clearly flustered by my sudden gesture. But for now, I brushed aside her confusion; setting things straight was a priority.

"This isn't your fault, young miss. If anything, it was that gorill—no, I mean, the duke's fault for making the situation like this. You don't have to apologize, okay?" I reassured her with a warm smile, hoping to alleviate her guilt.

"O-okay..." she responded with a cute nod, her demeanor softening slightly. 

Seeing her like this stirred a hint of amusement within me, but as a butler of this house, I knew it wasn't appropriate to make light of my superiors. 

Instead, I maintained my professional demeanor, determined to uphold the standards of my position.

Releasing her hands, I noted the slight dejection in Stella's demeanor. 

It pained me to see her like this, but as a butler, I knew I must maintain a respectful distance from my master—especially considering Stella's dignified and esteemed fiancé, Prince Hansel. 

I couldn't imagine he would approve of a mere servant holding his future wife's hand for too long. 

After all, I wouldn't want my own fiancée engaging in such familiarity with our household staff.

With a polite bow and a warm smile, I rose to my feet and prepared a seat for myself. It was clear from Stella's expression that she wished to discuss something else, and as her butler, it was my duty to attend to her wishes.

She seemed to understand my actions and nodded happily as I settled into my seat, awaiting her next words.

"Taylor... I know you keep things hidden from me sometimes, especially if it involves the duke, my father... So, as your master as well as your childhood friend, I'm not ordering you but asking you to please tell me what's going on," Stella implored, frustration evident in her voice. 

"For the last few days, you've been absent with nothing more than accidents wherever you go. Can you at least tell me what happened yesterday?"

Her words struck a chord within me. Indeed, upon reflection, I realized that I had been involved in more than one incident recently, not to mention the recurring issue of sudden headaches.

As Stella's concerned gaze bore into mine, I couldn't shake the memory of the duke's strict directive: 'Never tell my daughter anything, okay?' 

His words echoed in my mind, a stark reminder of the complicated web of secrecy that enveloped our interactions.

Truly, the situation was fraught with complexity. 

As much as I wanted to be honest with my lady, I simply couldn't afford to divulge everything. 

From a young age, my private meetings and training sessions with the duke had always been shrouded in secrecy. 

While some details were occasionally shared with Stella, they were often distorted or omitted entirely.

'I'm sorry, young miss, but the duke's orders take precedence….' 

The truth was, I lacked the courage to confess the full extent of my troubles to Stella. 

The thought of revealing my recurring nightmares and absurd predicaments filled me with dread. 

How could I expect her to believe me without casting doubt upon my sanity?

'I can't have her thinking I was getting insane'

However, that didn't mean I had to outright lie to her.

 There was always a way to skirt around the truth, to offer a semblance of honesty while still preserving the secrecy mandated by the duke.

"Well, actually," I began tentatively, crafting a half-truth to satisfy her inquiry, "the duke invited me to a private drinking party yesterday. That's why, during our training session, an incident occurred that forced me to faint. It's quite shameful to admit, really," I concluded, offering the excuse with a wry smile.

"Is that red bump on your chin because of father?" she asked rather innocently.

"Yes" I said honestly.

Although I wasn't quite sure yet as my memories of yesterday were still jumbled.

I had a feeling the duke did this to me as I can vividly remember fighting with him.

Stella seemed to ponder my explanation for a moment before nodding in understanding. 

"I see, that explains why he kept you secluded here. He probably didn't want me to find out about what happened to you-" she concluded, her words hanging in the air.

Though I wanted to inquire about her mention of being sealed here, I knew better than to complicate matters further. One wrong word from me could unravel the delicate web of deceit I had spun.

With a sudden movement, Stella rose from her seat, catching me off guard. "Young miss?" I queried, surprised by her abrupt departure.

Turning to face me, she flashed a radiant smile. 

"Thank you, Taylor," she said sincerely, her gratitude evident in her tone. 

With that, she headed towards the door, her footsteps echoing softly in the room. 

"Rest for now. I can tell you're still tired. I'll call for the doctor to take a look at that bump on your chin so you can take a day off," she added before disappearing from sight.

"Thank you, young miss," I replied gratefully, unable to conceal the relief in my voice at the prospect of a day off. 

I was truly exhausted, the strain of maintaining a façade of normalcy taking its toll.

The persistent headache I'd been battling showed no signs of abating, and fragments of memories from yesterday began to resurface, slowly but surely.

As I settled back into my chair, a sense of weariness washed over me, mingled with a growing unease. 

It seemed that the events of yesterday were beginning to seep back into my consciousness, threatening to unravel the fragile balance I had struggled to maintain.

As the young miss closed the door behind her, I couldn't help but notice a subtle change in her demeanor. 

The sparkle in her majestic blue eyes seemed to dim slightly as she walked away, and for some reason, I caught glimpses of small sparks of electricity dancing in her hands.

"Goodbye, young miss..." I murmured softly, but my words were lost as the door shut firmly, sealing me in solitude once more.

With a weary sigh, I realized that I couldn't dwell on the mysteries surrounding Stella's behavior any longer. 

My head was throbbing mercilessly, and exhaustion weighed heavily upon me. 

It was clear that I needed rest; I couldn't bear this headache any longer.

As I settled onto my bed, I closed my eyes and let the darkness envelop me. 

Sleep beckoned, offering a temporary respite from the chaos swirling within my mind. 

Perhaps in dreams, I would find solace and clarity, or at least a momentary escape from the trials that awaited me when I awoke.

Yes, that was what I had hoped for…

So how come I'm in front of another nightmare again.

'Fuck…!'