Sighing heavily, I lean back in my chair, the weight of the past few days pressing down on me. It's been three whole days since I started avoiding Taylor, and I know I can't let this continue.
The strain on our relationship will only get worse if I don't address the situation soon.
But as much as I want to make up and resolve the misunderstanding, I find myself hesitating.
The thought of facing Taylor after what I saw is just too embarrassing. How could I look him in the eye knowing what I inadvertently witnessed?
My mind races with excuses and justifications. It's absurd, I know, but I've never seen a man unclothed before.
The sight left me flustered and bewildered, and I can't shake the embarrassment that accompanies the memory.
Surely, other girls my age would feel the same way if they found themselves in my shoes. It wasn't entirely my fault—I mean, it was Taylor's fault for being so careless, right?
But deep down, I know I'm just in denial. I can't continue to blame Taylor for my own discomfort and embarrassment. It's time to confront the situation head-on and make amends.
"It's done, young lady," one of my maids says, breaking through my thoughts. I look up to see my reflection in the mirror, adorned in the academy's uniform.
Taking a moment to assess my appearance, I find nothing amiss. The uniform fits perfectly, without a single blemish in sight.
With a deep breath, I resolve to put my embarrassment aside and face Taylor, ready to mend our fractured relationship and move forward.
'Yes, today surely would be the day…. We will talk again'
I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, admiring the flawless appearance of my academy uniform. It was as if our servants had a knack for preserving the quality of clothes.
I couldn't help but wonder what Taylor would think when he saw me in this attire.
Would he offer another compliment like he did the first time I went to the academy?
The memory of his words lingered in my mind, his bright smile etched into my memory.
"You look beautiful, young miss," he had said with genuine warmth in his voice. My heart had skipped a beat, and a flush had spread across my cheeks at his words. But now, as I recalled the moment, I couldn't help but feel a pang of confusion. Why did I yearn for his compliments? Why did his approval matter so much to me?
Suddenly, as if to snap myself out of my reverie, I brought both arms up and delivered a sharp slap to my own cheeks.
SLAP!
The stinging sensation jolted me back to reality, and I shook my head, trying to clear away the intrusive thoughts.
"Young lady Stella?!" My maids exclaimed, their voices filled with concern and surprise.
Ignoring their reactions, I focused on reining in my erratic thoughts. I couldn't afford to indulge in these dangerous fantasies about Taylor any longer.
It was getting out of hand, almost as if I could hear the thundering hooves of a hundred horses just by entertaining the idea of a compliment from him.
But there were no horses here, only the steady rhythm of my own racing heartbeat.
Thump—! Thump—!
Taking a deep breath, I resolved to push aside these distracting thoughts and focus on the task at hand. There were more important matters to attend to than daydreaming about Taylor, I reminded myself sternly.
But despite my efforts, a wave of sadness washed over me, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment at the realization.
"Why...?" I whispered aloud, confusion evident in my voice. Why did I have to feel this way? Why did the mere thought of setting aside thoughts of Taylor bring such a heavy weight to my heart?
As I crumpled my head in frustration, almost ruining the hairstyle my maids had so graciously adorned me with, they all looked at me with concern, their expressions mirroring the shock I felt within.
"My lady, are—" one of them began, concern etched into her features.
"I-I'm fine...!" I interrupted hastily, forcing a smile as I waved them off. I could feel the tightness in my chest, but I focused on controlling my breathing, willing the tumultuous emotions to subside. How had it come to this? Since when had I developed these confusing feelings for Taylor?
'Get yourself together, Stella!' I scolded myself silently, my inner voice firm and resolute, yet outside my face was anything but resolute….
'You're the crown prince's fiancée. You have a duty to uphold. You can't afford to entertain thoughts of another man, especially when Prince Hansel is already waiting for you. Have some self-respect.'
With that internal pep talk, I attempted to quell the swirling emotions threatening to overwhelm me. Straightening my posture and composing myself, I resolved to focus on my duties and obligations as a future member of the royal family, setting aside the confusing feelings that threatened to derail my composure.
After all, there was no room for personal indulgences when the weight of responsibility rested upon my shoulders.
As I slowly calmed my breath, I glanced at myself once more in the mirror. The green necktie around my collar indicated that I was now a second-year student at the academy. Soon, I would be a senior, responsible for guiding and mentoring the incoming freshmen. It was a role that demanded maturity and grace, qualities befitting the future empress of the empire.
And as for Taylor... I knew what I had to do. I needed to apologize and make amends with him today. The thought of going another year without seeing him weighed heavily on my heart.
"M-my lady, the carriage is here," one of the maids hesitantly entered my room, her nervousness palpable. I realized she was likely still rattled from my earlier outburst when I had abruptly dismissed them. But I couldn't fault her for it; I wasn't really angry.
"Okay, I'm coming," I replied with my usual smile, trying to reassure her. Father and mother were probably waiting for me downstairs as well.
As I made my way out of the room, the maid hurriedly reentered, gathering my bags and packages.
With a hint of nervousness fluttering in my chest, I was determined to at least talk to Taylor today. If I didn't, I knew it would be the biggest regret of my life.
As I mentally prepared myself to face Taylor, a surge of determination washed over me. I refused to allow myself to be the only one left wallowing in embarrassment.
After all, he was the one who had been seen naked—shouldn't he be the one feeling the most embarrassed by now?
Despite his efforts to reassure me and his willingness to talk about it, I knew deep down that he must have been just as mortified as I was. At least, that's what I hoped.
But as frustration bubbled up inside me, I couldn't help but release a frustrated cry.
"Agh!!" I stomped my foot in frustration, the sound echoing through the room.
The maids behind me hastily averted their gazes, sensing my embarrassment as I turned back to face them.
"Um, my lady... Are you alright?" one of them ventured cautiously, concern etched on her face.
I sighed, feeling a mix of frustration and embarrassment wash over me.
"I'm fine," I replied tersely, though the knot of emotions in my chest told a different story.
In that moment, I couldn't help but lay blame on Taylor for the predicament we found ourselves in. After all, if he hadn't been so careless, none of this would have happened.
'Yes, this is all Taylor's fault...!'
But even as I harbored those thoughts, a part of me knew it wasn't entirely fair to place the blame solely on him.
….
As I sat there, lost in my thoughts, I was jolted back to reality by Taylor's voice. He was sitting right in front of me, his expression a mix of sadness and confusion. "Young miss, are you still not planning to talk to me...?" His words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotions.
I blinked, feeling a rush of guilt wash over me. How could I continue to ignore him like this? But every time I tried to gather my thoughts and speak, my mind seemed to go blank.
There were too many things happening all at once, too many emotions swirling inside me for me to process everything.
We were now riding in the same carriage, making our way towards Abel Royal Academy. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks—Taylor was going to the academy too. It all felt so surreal, as if I were living in a dream.
But here he was, sitting right in front of me, waiting for me to acknowledge him. I owed him an apology, I knew that much.
But as I looked into his eyes, I found myself at a loss for words. How could I begin to explain everything that was going on in my head?
How could I make things right between us when I could barely make sense of my own feelings?
It happened back at the mansion.
As I made my way down the second-floor corridor, I noticed a small gathering outside the main door.
It was no surprise to find Mother and even my clueless father there to bid me farewell.
But what caught my attention most was Taylor standing amongst them. His presence filled me with a strange mix of emotions.
He looked at me with eyes that held a glimmer of happiness, a stark contrast to the embarrassment I felt coursing through me. In that moment, I couldn't help but wonder how he could seem so at ease when I was the one struggling to come to terms with everything that had transpired between us.
Despite my best efforts to maintain composure, I couldn't shake the feeling of awkwardness that enveloped me.
It seemed like everyone else was carrying on as if nothing had happened, while I was left grappling with the weight of our unspoken encounter.
"Good morning, Young miss," Taylor greeted me with his usual gentle and handsome smile. I was about to return the greeting, hoping to lighten the mood once I spoke with him.
I was about to reply but something caught my eye.
'Why did he look so different?'
As I studied him, I noticed that he was dressed in a black uniform adorned with intricate golden details, accompanied by a black cloak bearing the symbol of a golden eagle.
The insignia and the brooch, as well as the red necktie he wore, were exactly the same as the uniform I had worn during my first year at the academy.
But this was the male version, with long dark trousers instead of skirts. It was the uniform for first-year students at Abel Academy.
What was going on? I couldn't comprehend it as I stood there, frozen in a daze.
"Surprised?" my mother's voice broke through my confusion, her tone filled with amusement. "Hehe, I knew you would be. Starting from today, Taylor will also be attending the academy along with you, my dear Stella."
Her words sunk in slowly, and I felt a surge of disbelief wash over me.
Taylor, attending the academy?
It seemed incomprehensible.
"Isn't this just the most wonderful thing dear?" mother suddenly addressed father.
"N-Ye-YES HAHAHA"
He seemed quite excited for it as well.
But as I glanced at my father, who was laughing alongside my mother, I noticed a hint of pain behind his eyes, hidden beneath his forced smile.
As I observed father, a nagging sense of unease settled in the pit of my stomach.
Why did his lower abdomen seem frozen? It was a small detail, but it bothered me nonetheless.
Pushing aside the thought, I focused on the bombshell my mother had just dropped.
Taylor attending the academy with me?
The idea seemed utterly unreal. I mean how Taylor is a commoner you know?
Unless the principal or the royal family gave him a scholarship it would be impossible for him to enter as a commoner.
'Did my parents use our wealth just for Taylor…?'
It was as if my world had been turned upside down in an instant, leaving me reeling from the shock.
Each new revelation added to the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me.
And now back in the carriage.
As Taylor attempted to engage me in conversation, I found myself unable to respond.
My mind was a jumbled mess, overwhelmed by the flood of unexpected news.
Despite his efforts to lighten the mood, my silence hung heavily in the air, casting a shadow over our interaction.
He just laughed awkwardly at my silence and looked outside the carriage windows in response…
He looked so sad…. Ahh!! No this can't go on!
In a panic, I grasped for something to say, anything to break the awkward tension between us.
"T-Taylor, you look so handsome...!" The words slipped out before I could stop them, and I immediately regretted them, feeling a flush of embarrassment rise to my cheeks.
"Ahhh!!!" I gasped, mortified by my own bluntness, and quickly covered my face in embarrassment.
This was a disaster. He was going to think I was acting weird again.
But instead of reprimanding me, Taylor chuckled softly.
"Haha—yes… yes, thank you, young miss," he replied gently, his eyes warm with understanding. "You look stunningly beautiful as well."
As I opened my arms to him, Taylor's gentle and caring gaze washed over me, his smile radiating genuine happiness at finally being able to talk to me.
But instead of easing my troubled mind, his expression left me feeling even more unsettled than before.
Thump—! Thump—!
The sound of a hundred galloping horses was back again echoing in my ears, the tumultuous rhythm matching the turmoil within me.
This man…
Taylor, was a great sinner for making me feel this way, for stirring emotions I struggled to comprehend.