Not everyone gets to be born special. I certainly wasn't. I didn't get a cool backstory. Unfortunate starting point in life but inherited something badass from my family? Nope. Born into wealth? Nada. Got a cool girl mc I just happen to get involved with? I WISH. Yeah... I am Segato Evelnoke. My life sucks because nothing interesting happens. Well, until today. Giant wormhole in the sky. That's definitely new.
"This is WhooYeah Channel 9 News Reporter Vase Scheder, covering live footage of the giant, sinister-looking space vortex in the sky! So far, nothing has been sucked into it, nor has anything come out! Perhaps this is the sign of the end of our world?!" ... has nothing to do with me. I'm just a high schooler with an illegally obtained part-time job. See? Normal. Speaking of such, I'll be late if I observe the news any longer.
I start every day the same: chuck myself out of bed into the shower, chuck on clothes, chuck myself out the door to my job fast. So fast, that by the time I finished telling you about this, I am already there. Casino Rouge, where all people go to either spend money until they die or sell illegal oddities. I am in charge of the latter. I honestly got the gig from appraising a mob boss's cane while being held at gunpoint. A story for another time, as I continue my work quietly with nobody caring that I exist...
"Hey, evil kid! Any interesting appraisals today?" Oh, right. I forgot about this bitch. The owner of Casino Rouge has 3 daughters. The youngest, who is around my age, is now bothering me. "Are you ignoring me? Then again, I don't blame a poor digusting commoner for being unable to withstand looking at my elegant, beautiful, and elite body! Ohohohohoho!" ... Keep telling yourself that, bitch. I haven't done anything to her yet because I have already calculated my chances of getting away with such being 0%. Numbers are everything to me.
"Leave me alone, Natalie. Unlike you, I can actually get killed for not doing my job." ... I totally meant to say that in my head.
"Wait what were you saying? Why do you always speak so hushed?" She asks as she narrows her eyes at me while getting in my face. Apparently personal space is a foreign concept to this bitch.
"I do it to throw you off guard and make your face get closer to mine, obviously," I spit back at her. Her usually tanned face turns bright red as she leaps away from me and runs off.
"I-I am telling my mother on you!" was the last thing I heard before she was completely out of view. I dunno why, but I never actually once heard from Boss Rouge no matter how many times she said that. Weird bitch.
I did find a nice appraisal today, by the way. Albeit the item in question is unusual. A mask, the kind worn to masquerades. It feels like something from ancient times, yet it looks sparkling new (no seriously, it is hurting my eyes to look at it). Should be worth a good bit of money, of which I get a portion whenever the item is valued as rare. I think what bothers me is that the mask looks perfectly shaped like a human face and as if it was once alive. It's obviously just my imagination at work, though.
I finished my work rather quickly. Aside from the mask, I did manage to discover several gems hidden in various other objects. Natalie did eventually (and unfortunately) come back to see me off.
"Evil kid!" This bitch... my last name is Evelnoke. She isn't even trying. "I'll... see you tomorrow, right?"
"Sure thing. Bye," I say in my usual monotone voice. I learned very early on not to stand out at a young age, so I deliberately make myself seem boring to others. This bitch is a rare exception. Shame she is constantly trying to get me into trouble and has a rude tongue; she would have made a nice girl to date otherwise. I also value my head if Boss Rouge doesn't have a warm reception to such an idea. Moving on with life...
"... so that's about all I can remember. Now that I covered that, who the hell are you two, and where am I?" Segato asked the two shadowy figures in front of him. Sharp, pitch black eyes and sparkling yellow ones-- which reminded him of a cat-- stared at one another before they looked back at him.
"I actually find it weird that you can perceive us, little guy," the yellow-eyed shadowy figure spoke. It was also weird for Segato because he could only see silhouettes and eyes. "We do owe you an explanation, though. Somebody is doing something illegal in space-time, most likely in reaction to recent events. You happened to be sucked into the 'tear' that was in the sky on your way back home from work. Normally we'd just send you back and erase your memories after sealing that... but..." the yellow pair of eyes winked at him before turning to the pitch black ones.
"Ahem You are an anomaly amongst anomalies. And I don't mean in just your ability to perceive our existences. You should be dead right now. The people of your universe aren't known to possess any special powers in any capacity, but rather plenty of weapons and illegal activity."
"So can you just get straight to the point? Somebody else screwed up, and I'm alive and well. What's the issue?" Segato growled.
"You are already declared dead in your universe, Segato Evelnoke. We can't send you back according to the rules."
[The pitch black eyes bear a sorrow--]
"Stop narrating for a second, whoever you are."
[Uhhhhh...] Okay, I'll continue using my quiet voice, for now.
"Names. You two know mine and my life, but I know nothing about either of you outside your silhouettes, your eyes, and voices. You tell me I am pronounced dead but won't even show me proof. You won't explain what will happen to me now..." Segato slammed his foot into the ground, and his face contorted angrily.
"Start over from the beginning. For real this time. Don't lie, even by omission; you can just kill me if that is an impossible task for you both."
"Well, since you offered..."
"Stop, Hooligan. Besides, he is more useful to you alive than dead." The black pair of eyes seemed as if they were drilling holes into the yellow ones.
"Tch. His name is Lancaster in case you couldn't guess it," the man named Hooligan pointed at the other silhouette as he continued to talk. "We are... I guess you humans would refer to us as deities, for lack of a better word. There is a group of evil deities causing a big mess in other universes because they are targeting a special universe about to be born, known as a Super Universe." Segato's boring grey eyes narrowed in response to these new developments.
"So. Can you explain the narrator guy I am hearing?" he asked nonchalantly.
[Or you could just ask me. It's not that hard.] The 2 silhouettes' eyes were glued to the floating wall of text as if they just saw a ghost. Lancaster was the first to speak.
"I'll handle that part since I can't trust Hooligan to discuss it--"
"So you are just going to talk about me like that knowing I am right here?" Hooligan grunted. He then smiled and mockingly wailed, "You're so cruel, Big Brother-- aack!" Hooligan fell over to the ground, clasping his neck. The other two ignored him as Lancaster continued to answer Segato's questions.
"So this 'narration' you hear is a variation of what we call Ordinances. All anomalies possess at least 1..."
"Alright. I think I get the gist of it now. Also, I apologize for my rudeness earlier towards you both. I was just in a state of shock." Segato then bowed respectfully towards the two deities.
"Oh wow... I think this is the first time I have ever received a sincere apology. Usually I am the one having to apologize where we work," Hooligan nervously said while he shook his hands excitedly.
"You... really must be a loser or something to feel that way, huh?" Segato casually spoke. Hooligan immediately started to sulk in a corner while Lancaster sweatdropped in response.
"I think it is bothering him even more since he heard that from a human... he should be fine after a few hours, which means you don't worry about him. Now then... let's discuss your options about how we can handle your rather... 'unique' situation." At this, Segato and Lancaster both donned serious expressions. "Option 1. We erase your memories and reincarnate you. This would be a waste, as you'd lose your rare Ordinance of narration currently in your possession. Also... I have a random question out of curiosity. What font do you see when it speaks?"
"Times New Roman," Segato stated sternly. Lancaster deadpanned at the thought. Segato laughed at him, then talked again, "Honestly, I'm not sure. But probably something used in coding?"
"Coding, huh... Right, before I get too sidetracked... Option 2 is that we send you as you are into another universe. We can probably get you some additional powers if need be since I doubt narration is going to be an effective power for survival in other universes."
"I am confused how it would have been effective in the universe I came from, to be fair."
Hooligan chimed in, " It should be capable of being used in future prediction, manipulation of reality itself, et cetera, et cetera. Often the most powerful things are only powerful once a person understands how to use them for themselves. Otherwise they tend to be quite weak. Your power also recently activated, so don't beat yourself up over it. I remember when I was ______."
"Uh... what?" Segato briefly showed a confused expression in response.
"Haaah... Of course they censored 'that.' You'll find out what 'that' is if you pick option 2, by the way."
Lancaster then grimly muttered, "Option 3 would be where we kill you."
"The worst possible option, in my HONEST opinion," Hooligan emphasized. "Yeah... only a dumbass picks option 3. Or if they want to avoid going on an wonderful adventure to another universe."
"Well... option 1 is safe. It's not like losing my narration is the end of the universe or anything, right?" As Segato turned back to the others, he saw they are both avoiding his gaze. "Wait, seriously?"
"Anomalies contain the essence of a universe, and yours is of greater size than most. Due to that, your death may have similar effects to ripping a major part of your universe out. Even if we wanted to give that power to another being, it could not be done without killing you. Get it? Got it? Good," Hooligan laughs while clapping his hands.
"Okay, you guys made it pretty clear being sent to another universe is the only safe option. Why even mention the other 2, knowing this?" expressed an annoyed Segato.
"It is due to the rules and regulations that we still allow all humans free will. Nothing more, nothing less," Lancaster states matter-of-factly. Segato holds his nose in frustration.
"Your job sounds incredibly annoying." Hooligan shrugged and Lancaster let out a "hmph" before the atmosphere changed.
The sky was now visible, and there were many different colored lights in the sky alongside a bunch of swirling stars streamlining it, as if it was a living canvas.
"While you know our names, you know not our power, let alone its source. I believe we should cover that, so that you know what random part from each of our domains could give you powers," Lancaster whispered into Segato's ear. "Hooligan is a being of chaos and irregularities. He specializes in causing random or chaotic things to occur, so predicting what you'll get from him is nearly impossible. I specialize in darkness and death. I wish I could give you something specific, but it'd be breaking--"
"Wait, Lansy-Pansy. We can give him physical objects-- aack!" Hooligan was now embedded upside down in the ground. Once again, the other 2 ignored him.
"That is a good idea, though. Don't open what we give you until you are there. We... we are going to 'cheat the system.' Treat this as compensation for ruining your life."
"If it means anything, my life sucked, anyhow," Segato sighed while he shrugged
[It's time for the 3 to part ways. The path to the Flipside neared. Segato said the following phrase with pride so that the hidden quest triggered...]
Hmm... I can see the phrase ahead of time? I'm not sure what it's supposed to do... Sure, why not, narrator. "I'm off, then. See you on the Flipside." He then leapt into the now fully open gate ahead.
"... Hooligan." Lancaster's expression turned stormy, and Hooligan's turned into a flustered one. "Neither of us told him that we are sending him into the Super Universe, right?"
"Nope? Why do you ask?"
"He said, 'See you on the Flipside.' How did he know the name of it when we never mentioned it once?"
"Ah... We might have just let loose a recently awakened tiger into this universe of ours, huh?"
"More like a dragon with 8 heads..." Lancaster mumbled through gritted teeth.
"... So a hydra?" Hooligan laughed at the thought while Lancaster shivered at it.
"... He might be what this universe needs. Besides, you wanted an irregularity you couldn't monitor to appear in there, so we can lure out our enemies."
"Yeah. Still... Is it okay for us to get a human involved in the struggles of deities?" Hooligan timidly questioned. "You saw what happened to Shinzen, Haze, and Tandem. Dead or MIA after performing 'Descent' to be with a human girl."
"Are you still scared of losing it all and being sanctioned once more? You needn't worry. I'll have you covered this time."
"I find it more weird that one of the most serious existences I know is taking my side and supporting me."
"You said it the other day," Lancaster smiled faintly while he replied, "What we have in common is death."