Someone had not wanted her to return.
'The knights won't do this…'
However, she would surely be in trouble if they were to see the trapdoor now. Alyssane used all her strength to take out the key, but it was too stubborn.
To make matters worse, her body was exhausted and weak from not eating enough and then wandering the endless tunnels.
With a resigned sigh, Alyssane slumped on the bed.
It felt as if her bones had turned to stone, heavy and painful they were rough against her flesh. She could not think clearly, and soon sleep arrived to offer some solace to her weary mind.
Her dreams were empty.
But not peaceful.
When Alyssane woke up, her stomach ached from hunger. She felt no strength, no will to leave the bed, and quietly stared at the cold drizzle raining outside.
In the dim light, she resembled a corpse.
Her gaze was vacant, her skin ghostly pale from weakness, and her long blonde hair strewn across the sheets like threads of faded silk.
'Everything is so dull.
'Meaningless.'
Everything she had gone through, everything she endured, seemed to be in vain. In a few days, the world had become a confusing place.
And she was abandoned in its shadows to slowly wither and fade.
'What do you really want?' Alyssane asked no one in particular.
The door of her chambers did not open that morning either, but Alyssane could not be sure because she was hardly awake throughout the day.
Her body clung to the remnants of strength like a drowning man seeking air, refusing to let her have control of herself anymore.
When her mind was not deeply sunken in a daze, her thoughts wandered to old memories.
All the slaves were kept in an entirely black room after being bought. It was small and filled with too many children. But Alyssane hardly remembered it because she was down with a high fever back then.
The only thing she remembered was Johanna.
How her shaky sweaty hands held hers, whispering everything would be alright even though Johanna herself was on the verge of crying.
'What changed between us?'
Alyssane would have gone against the world for Johanna when they were younger. She would changed her mind, everything about herself if only Johanna had spoken to her.
After being starved of warmth, a tender touch, how could Alyssane let go of their past?
But Johanna severed all ties as if they never mattered. She stopped talking, she stopped caring, as if she had been deceived to love a monster all along.
Alyssane's mind slipped into another memory.
There were no forms, no faces, only the sensation of falling before she was pulled into a phantom embrace—so cold it sent a shiver down her spine, so fierce she burned under his touch.
Her heartbeats hammered inside.
'This never happened.'
Alyssane got up on the bed, uncertain and unsure what to do that that strange memory that seemed as if it did not belong to her. Perhaps it was a dream, but it caused a rush of very real emotions.
Her worst fear since entering Pearl Manor was to find herself too close to a man.
"Gods…"
She sighed, pressing her hands against her head, her fingers tangling in the strands of her hair. There had been nothing but darkness in that memory, but a voice in her head seemed to whisper his name.
It was that knight.
'But he never…'
The door of the chamber opened before she could finish the thought.
Alyssane did not bother to look up. Johanna had a certain sound to her steps, always so quiet and cautious. She paused near the bed for a moment and then poured water into a glass.
"You look terrible," her voice was low.
"I wonder why…" Alyssane murmured as she accepted the water, it was not enough to quench her thirst so she added, "More."
Johanna hesitated and Alyssane could not wait.
She stepped down from the bed, took the jug of water, and gulped down the water, not letting a single drop go to waste. It filled her stomach for the time being.
"I was not expecting to find you here," Johanna said after a while.
Alyssane said nothing.
Johanna's voice grew colder, "It was not easy for me to manage that key."
Being cautious was a necessity for survival in the cities of Lower Valeria, and Johanna had always been too perfect in doing that. She never did anything potentially risky without learning every possible detail about it.
'Did you really not know about the tunnels?'
'That there was no end? That someone had tried to lock me there?'
"Stop ignoring me," Johanna said with irritation.
'You started it.'
Alyssane finally glanced at her, "Why do you want?"
Confusion flickered through Johanna's expressions but whatever she was going to say faded as Alyssane's gaze lingered on the small cut in Johanna's palm, it had an unusual angle, surrounded by some bruises.
Johanna closed her hand, "You need to—"
Alyssane let out a weary sigh, suddenly feeling all the weight of her exhaustion crush onto her soul at once, but her voice was cold and unforgiving when she spoke.
"Are you that desperate to get rid of me?"
Johanna slightly tensed, but she said nothing and for a moment Alyssane wished she would use her lies more instead of so easily accepting the brutal truth.
A hollow ache throbbed inside Alyssane as she kept her eyes outside the windows, to the drizzle of rain that might never end.
She waited for Johanna to say anything, but all she did was stay silent.
'It would be so easy for you to lie.'
The pieces were slowly falling into place. Johanna's arrival had been too sudden, why would she want to suddenly help her after leaving her to suffer and even die so many times before?
But in the end, nothing would change.
Perhaps, Johanna also realized that, so she coldly walked away without caring to explain a single thing. Her steps were too loud.
'Only one thing makes no sense...'
She paused near the door and said in a chilling voice, "You should have run when you had the chance."
Alyssane caught a glimpse of Johanna as she left, and a foreboding heaviness settled in her heart. She did not realize it would be her last time seeing Johanna.
Or how deep a wound it was going to leave.