"When did you first notice the memory lapses?" — the psychiatrist asked the patient with concern. — "Do you take any drugs?"
Sean shook his head, rubbing his temples:
"It used to happen when I was young, but not now. The first blackout happened a few months ago. I don't remember what I did before I fell asleep, I just woke up in the morning, but how I went to bed - I have no memories. Then it became more frequent and I don't understand why."
"Do you live alone?"
"With a guy."
"Is he your partner?"
"Yes."
"Depends on you financially?"
"No, he has large advertising income. He provides for himself and does not complain about life."
"But he lives with you?"
"I didn't offer him to leave and he's in no hurry to leave me."
"Do you argue sometimes?"
"Absolutely not! Eliot is conflict-free and balanced. Respects me..."
"Is it possible that he adds something into your drinks before bed? Taking revenge for something?"
"I tracked this many times, bought fresh booze, poured it myself, but memory lapses also occurred."
"Does your partner tell you what you do during these moments without memories?" - the patient was asked.
"Yes, he tells me that I did or said something, but it was as if it wasn't happening to me. On top of everything, Eliot became more sensitive to me, affectionate, which was not the case before. Looks like he really loves me… It seems that this hidden part of my life delights him."
"This is really very strange. Do you think that this illness is connected with the appearance of Eliot in your life?"
"Such conclusions suggest themselves, but I have nothing to blame him for. However, part of my psyche clearly takes on a life of its own without involving awareness."
"You need a regressive hypnologist to find out the causes of dissociative identity disorder."
"What!?… - Sean screamed astonishingly. - "Why does it happen to me?"
"It is hard to explain. Perhaps the drugs used in your youth contributed to some mental degradation and areas of the brain, when you get tired, become disconnected from memory retention. Neurons stop transmitting your impressions of what is happening."
"And how can I recover from this?"
"For now, you need to undergo sessions with a hypnologist, but specifically pharmacology is powerless in such cases. I will give you the contacts of one famous specialist..."
….
"It's like memories... - Sean said in confusion listening to the recordings after the hypnosis session. - "But is it mine? This is some kind of nonsense! Love fantasy!"
"However… - the hypnologist answered restrainedly. - "I've heard a lot of fantastic things from my patients. The story from your subconscious is still surprisingly logical. You are the owner of the entire planet and are responsible for its development. You meet an unusual creature and take care of him. Does anything overlap with your current life?"
"Yes, it is quite! Eliot... the one with whom I am in love... he is very unusual and differs from all the young men not only in charisma, but also in his special worldview... His behaviour as he is an alien! I live with him now and his name is the same. Some mind games!"
"Your boyfriend? How did you meet him?"
"Someone told about him and I rushed to meet him. It was spontaneous, like an obsession."
"How did he react to your appearance?"
"He turned me off right away, but it hurt me and I continued to harass him until I got him."
"What is your relationship like now?"
"I would call it love, but I'm half present in that relationship. Do I really have a split personality? How will it end, doctor? Will my self-awareness disappear?"
"It's hard to say what awaits you, Sean!" — the hypnotherapist answered evasively. — "Perhaps this condition will simply change you and in what direction is unknown... Don't despair so quickly!"
"But something needs to be done? I can't just leave it like that!"
"I can only advise you to go through a special trip under the influence of natural psilocybin substances in order to better understand yourself, your true essence. Who are you really... Perhaps not a human at all!"
"What kind of trip is this? Hear it for the first time! It is safe?"
"This practice is not for everyone... for desperate people, for those who are lost in life and do not know what to do next. Also used to treat depression."
"And what are the results of such an experiment?"
"Often positive... for people who have undergone such a strange treatment, everything changes dramatically... in their professional activities and also in their personal lives. In a word, they become different... I'm not forcing you to go through this... I'm just recommending... as a person experienced in psychotechnics. You decide…"
"I would try... who does this?"
"Such people are called shamans or guides to the world of spirits. I'll tell you where to find them."