Jude
I've been anxious, I can't focus on anything that I've been doing ever since I met Sarah and saw Nathan, it's been so long but the guilt I feel is still the same and I'm scared, scared of the fact that if he knows about Jonah's existence he'll take him away from me
I can't accept it, it will kill me if that happens, just thinking about it makes me want to vomit
Jonah was the only one who kept me sane, I was depressed when I left him, I couldn't eat or sleep but, when the doctor said I was pregnant, I brokedown and felt even more guilty because I'm carrying our child inside me and I was acting stupid, what I was doing to myself was hurting the baby inside me too
After knowing I was pregnant, I tried my best to make myself better bit by bit for my baby's sake and decided what to name him
I didn't know I was three months pregnant when I left Nate, I was on my second trimester when the doctor found out I was pregnant and decided not to tell him about it
After giving birth I worked at the daycare center near the place where I rented, I can work while watching over Jonah and everyone liked seeing him too because he's so cute, he looked just like him, black hair and blue eyes
"mohhhwwwmmy.... " Jonah said yawning
"hi baby, how was your nap? Do you wanna eat something?" I kissed his forehead
"it was goohhd and yes please, thank you" he said going to the couch
I prepared sandwiches and juice for snacks then I heard the door open
"mommmmy!!! there's a man standing outside!!!" Jonah shouted
"Jonah how many times do I have to tell you not to open the door without me??!!!" I ran to the door
I can't see the person's face because he crouched down to Jonah's level
"baby go eat your snacks" I said holding Jonah's head to push him behind me "go" I told him one more time
"sowwwy mommy" he said before running to the kitchen
When I turn around it feels like my world has came to an end