At Oreki Household
After leaving Rias and Akeno, I arrived at my house and saw Tom and Jerry lounging in their favorite spots while Yoruichi was quietly reading manga in the corner of the living room. Both Tom and Jerry noticed my presence but quickly avoided my gaze, making me frown. Houston, we have a problem here, and I don't know why. It doesn't bother me much, but I'm curious about what they did while I was gone.
I walked towards Tom and Jerry and sat down on an empty couch. Leaning forward, I put my hands together and propped my head on them. "So, is there a problem?" I asked in an intimidating manner, gazing at them with intense eyes. I don't know what happened, and I don't care even if it's nothing significant. But a problem is a problem, no matter how small, so they better start talking, or else.
Tom and Jerry immediately started pointing at and blaming each other for breaking and destroying the PlayStation 5 console. Luckily, my Switch is off-limits to them when I'm not here, and they can't get to it even if they tried, as it's in my room, which they can't access easily. Speaking of the Switch, Kaho and I should probably play a different game since we always play Tekken. Maybe we can play co-op games or FPS games like Apex Legends. "Yeah, I'm going to tell her to practice FPS games from time to time." I thought inwardly.
Anyway, back to the problem with Tom and Jerry: the reason they were only watching TV earlier is because the PS5 is completely broken right now. I can fix it, but why didn't they try? I thought Tom had the ability to do anything a normal human can do. I mean, he can be on the same level as Einstein in terms of IQ. I searched for the PS5 in the living room and saw it. "Ah, I see!" So that's why Tom can't fix it; it's already in pieces.
**BANG!**
I looked at the source of the sound and saw Tom flung away, buried inside a wall, leaving a Tom-sized hole. The culprit? It's Jerry, of course, who was currently laughing and rolling on the floor. He was the only one arguing with Tom since Yoruichi was busy with her manga. Tom picked himself up and threw a bowling ball at Jerry, who easily dodged it. However, the plank that the bowling ball hit caused Jerry to be flung up, hitting the ceiling.
**THUD!**
Jerry got stuck in the ceiling for a moment before falling like a leaf in the fall season. Tom took this opportunity to flatten Jerry with a gun, putting holes in Jerry. When Jerry hit the shiny floor, even for just a second, he recovered and returned to his normal form. After that, chaos ensued as they started throwing things at each other. They seemed to have completely forgotten the rules I gave them after I summoned them.
"Tom and Jerry, stop now!" I shouted at them, causing both Tom and Jerry to freeze mid-action. Tom, for some reason, thought Jerry messing with him was a good enough reason to try and throw a gigantic wrecking ball. Because I stopped them, Tom wasn't able to throw it and ended up holding the wrecking ball overhead as his hands got wobbly and gave in.
**CRASH!**
All the appliances rebounded at the impact of the wrecking ball for they did not get damage, and maybe the house itself bounced too from the outside. As for Tom, he was inside a hole in the floor, and Jerry just laughed at Tom's misfortune.
"Go and help him, Jerry, and clean up this mess, you Dumb and Dumber."
I looked at the upset and angry Jerry after being told to help Tom, who was already about to fall into the hole again as he climbed out. Luckily, Jerry grabbed and held Tom's whiskers. However, they didn't notice the chandelier above. Wait, we have a chandelier in the perfect spot of the hole Tom created? I just can't. Toon force makes the impossible possible. Anyway, the chandelier fell on both of them, causing another hole in the floor.
SMASH!
I sighed. Poor floor-chan got double penetrated. I walked towards the hole and shouted at them to clean and fix everything they broke. They gave me a thumbs-up as I looked at the time and saw it was time to eat dinner. Before that, I glanced towards Yoruichi, who was too focused on reading. Is that a Shoujo manga!? The calm and cool Yoruichi is reading a freaking Shoujo! She must be trying to study and learn how to woo me from that manga.
"I don't—"
She really is hopelessly in love with me.
"I won't deny that."
I walked towards the kitchen to make egg-fried rice, inspired by the one and only, everyone's uncle, Uncle Roger. While I was doing the prep, I tried to watch TV, but it was showing some random videos about monkeys. So I looked at Tom and said, "Hey Tom, can you please put on the news? Thank you." Tom exited the YouTube app and tuned it to a Japanese news channel. I then proceeded to chop and prep the ingredients for the fried rice as I listened to the news.
"Last night, European Time. A mass migration of bats from Romania to Greece caused a lot of issues and problems for the Greek people. Let's hear the opinions of the locals." The news anchor said with a straight face, typical of them.
"Yeah, the bats sometimes attack people by scratching and biting them. Most of the time, the locals and even tourists just ignore it, but this pest problem is still... ugh. Luckily, the government provided free rabies vaccines."
"Why isn't the government exterminating and killing all these pests as soon as possible? They're going to ruin the daily lives of the people and local businesses if bats start pooping and shitting all over the place!"
"I don't think they will, though. During the day, we won't see them flying around. But yeah, at night, they're a pain in the ass but manageable at least."
"I think hunting the bats would be a fun idea to pass time for the locals and tourists, and maybe eat them too so as not to waste the game."
"Malaka, you're gonna get poisoned from that!! Or even worse, you're gonna get a virus or some other contagious disease."
"You're the dumbass, dumbass. This is not the Middle Ages; we can just create and counter it with a vaccine!"
"The Romanian government is the one causing this. It's not enough that they stole our culture; now they want our lands? The past Spartans would not allow this!"
Eating bats, huh... I hope they don't even try tasting them because... my god, that's going to be hell for most people. But not me or the girls I like, as I'm going to protect them from that. You know what, I'm going to do something good for this world and create a vaccine as soon as possible if that really happens. Anyway, Dio is the one who caused all those bats to migrate and appear after he killed himself in a pure accident. His tiny brain couldn't handle the strain of his newfound skill.
I fired up the stove and placed the non-stick pan on it to begin making our dinner while still paying attention to the news.
"The Romanian government has issued a warning to the unknown terror group responsible for the massacre in Tepes Town. They have vowed to hunt them down no matter what. The residents of the town remain unresponsive and tight-lipped when asked about what happened or who committed these inhumane murders. That's not all, ladies and gentlemen. Coincidentally, the same town was hit by an earthquake, causing significant devastation and destroying historical buildings and houses. The government has promised to help the people rebuild their homes and support their future business endeavors."
Seems like they knew the golden rule of snitches get stitches. However, they don't really need to worry. In response to their good will, I will be rewarding them. In the name of the Fool, I bless them with luck in their business.
As I finished making the egg fried rice, I glanced at Tom and Jerry, who were cleaning and fixing the things they had broken. "Yoruichi, are you going to eat dinner now?" I asked, looking at the engrossed Yoruichi. She just shook her head, continuing to read Kimi ni Todoke. It was one of the first shoujo anime I watched, and I've completely forgotten all the characters except Sadako? Okay, I don't even really remember the main character anymore, and I'm not going to make an effort to know it. Anyway, it was a good watch if I may say so myself, but I didn't read the manga version. At that time, I wasn't a manga or light novel enthusiast and just focused mainly on consuming and watching anime.
"Tom, Jerry, eat after you finish," I reminded them. They nodded with smiles, looked at each other, then back at me, pointing at the console. "No worries, I got that." I smiled and snapped my fingers, fixing the console instantly, which made them happy. I really need them to control their addiction, but I'll think about that in the future. For now, I'll focus on my MSG-filled egg fried rice.
"Ittadakimasu!"