". . . Communicating With Her hasn't been the same ever since then. It's just 'hello', 'hi', 'how was your day? She pulls out whenever I try to converse with her," Clint reluctantly replied to Iyke's question.
"Have you tried meeting her physically?" Iyke asked.
"I have met several dead ends on that. She blankly pulls out too," Clint relayed, "she's cutting me off," he alleged further.
Iyke took a sip from his glass and dropped it on the marble table. He adjusted himself on the tall bar stool.
"What do you expect after your response?"
"Yeah, I know. I understand all that. But how do these girls even think? Like . . . whatever," he picked his glass and sipped from it. He glanced around the lounge.
"Let her be. Probably when she's done dealing with her emotions, she will come around," Iyke suggested.
"Yeah, I'm doing that already," Clint affirmed, "I'm not surprised though," he added. They took turns sipping their drinks, in silence.
"You know that girl really likes you. She must be feeling kind of dejected. That's the least she can do," Iyke explained, "an..d you, you don't sound any different from her."
"How?"
"When did you start worrying about people cutting you off?"
"I'm not."
"You and I know you are," Iyke insisted.
"Fine. Let's end the conversation." He fiddled with his glass of drink, wearing a faraway gaze.
"I advise you stay off totally," Iyke chipped in.
It Doesn't Sit well with Clint, Tina's attitudes and his worries. If they were to end things, it wouldn't be this way. He had fruitlessly tried to patch up things with her over the past week, but it all got worse. She barely responded to his chat again. "Women," he thought aloud. He smiled. "I don commit," he said to himself.
It was about break time at work and he had less on his table to do. He logged on to Instagram using his laptop. He scrolled through his reels when he came across Tina's video, a forty seconds video of herself riding to work that morning.
He scrolled past it but it never lasted; he scrolled back seconds later, replayed the video then paused it midway. Subconsciously, he rubbed his eyes with his thumb, index finger and middle finger, thinking of his decisions and indecisions about Tina.
Impulsively, he clicked on the message button and began typing, but stopped before he could finish. He deleted it on second thought. He wants to visit at the office, but she will decline him if he informed her.
"Come Over Here." Clint hung the intercom.
Jane walked in, seconds later, in a bright coloured floral top, a red knee-length skirt, and a silver coloured pair of pointed glass heels and finely made up.
"When did we start keeping secrets, Jane?" Jane's appearance was unusual; she wore a look different from her everyday work attire. He had teased her about it earlier in the day
Jane smiled, "I'm not keeping any, Sir,"
He smiled, "Not with the glowing look today?"
"Looking good is my new business. You like what you see?" She winked at him. "For somebody's son though…" She buttressed.
Smiling, "I can see."
Clint was happy for her. She has moved on. Only a few months ago, Jane had resumed work one fateful morning, with saggy eye bags, pale and disturbed. Concerned, he called her into his office. According to her, after ruining his shirt with her makeup and tears, her man was cheating on her. She had confronted him severally with no changes. She got so mad and decided to confront his partner. Engaging her on social media, she got the shock of her life. They were engaged. To cap it, he ended things with her to save his other relationship.
"Congrats! I need you to email that quotation to H&H properties. Do it before you go for break," he instructed, "they are receiving the delivery on the 4th, if they pay in time."
"Ok, sir."
"You can go."
He followed her a few seconds later, with his keys and phone.
ALIGHTING FROM HIS Toyota Corolla, Clint saw Pete, through the transparent wall of the showroom, attending to a group of three people on the first floor. He watched him point around the space and discuss with them.
Clint went for the elevator. He stopped by the first floor and exchanged pleasantries with Pete and the customers.
"He is doing just fine," Pete replied to his asking about Ózó, "what do we owe this visit?"
"Nothing. Was closeby, and I decided to stop. What about Tina?" He asked.
"At her office."
"Let me say hello too. It's been a while."
Pete waved a go-ahead to him, and he made for the elevator again.
Clint Was The last person she wanted to see today. Looking at him through the transparent wall of her office disturbed her, no thanks to her father; she would have easily dismissed him. But he had seen her too, courtesy of the transparent wall. Her system beeped a notification from her secretary on Clint's visit. She gave her approval, and Clint walked into the room in a matter of seconds, carefully closing the large glass door behind him after gaining entrance.
His presence made her betray her emotions. She had been preparing for a day like this. She had cleared him of all crime and decided to move on. Distancing herself was a part of the plan. She would not continue that close with him for her sanity. For now, their friendship was on hold, till she could kill the emotions at least. Now with him standing before her desk, all these vanished at the sight of Clint, as though witnessing a temporal memory loss. His presence weakened her. She found herself sulking.
"Hey!" He hesitated. "Good day."
She waved weakly at him.
Clint assumed a seat before her. He admired the beautiful feminine interior of the office. An awkward moment of silence ensued between them, followed by short eye contact at intervals.
"You didn't mention you were coming," Tina typed. Clint read from the desk monitor facing him. He was a bit surprised by the text, it never occurred to him the computer monitor served that purpose before now.
"You would have said no. I mean, you would have turned me down like you have always done lately."
Tina relaxed on her seat and folded her arms against her mammary region. She took her gaze away from Clint and towards the street. Her emotions betrayed her. Written all over her face was every form of emotions she bore within. She fought back tears.
Looking At Tina, Clint saw what he couldn't see through their chat that night. What he actually tried to decipher from her message; how she felt. This was beyond what he had imagined. He was dumbfounded. She had felt really sad. He felt bad.
Not until now, he thought that anything he had for her was under control. He was wrong. Maybe this was because he hadn't seen her like this before. He felt bad seeing her that way. Her emotions broke through his barriers.
The plan was to make peace not to sympathize with her. Sympathize? This goes way more above sympathy. She exhumed an affectionate feeling within him. Tide of emotions coasted him. He became more conflicted than before. He fought for his calm.
"I'm really sorry if I hurt you by my response. . . I'm sorry I led you on," he said.
"Sis, when did Carter. . ." Pete barged in on them, interrupting their discussion, "oh, Clint!" He said, "You're still here."
"I will be on my way now." Clint took that as a cue to leave. "See you," he said to Tina who watched him, transfixed. She didn't bother reacting or maybe say bye. He walked past Pete, who stood by the door.
Pete went closer to Tina, observing her countenance. "What's wrong, Sis?"
"He came to say hello," she signalled.
Pete shrugged and continued what he was saying earlier.
Clint Drove Back to his work place a conflicted man. What happened at Tina's office moments ago disturbed him. He prayed things wouldn't be what they seemed like. The level of emotional connection he shared with her was triggering. It is alarming.
His feelings were strong — stronger than he thought, possibly aggravated by her absence and mixed with sympathy. Without knowing it, they had gone really far.
Getting to the complex, he hurriedly walked into his office, responding to his staff's greetings with waves and nodes. He finally got to his office and settled into his seat. He sought for music therapy immediately he settled into his sea, using his airpod.
Tina Climbed The stairs lazily after dinner, headed for her room. She tried to wrap her mind around what happened at the office. She was sure that Clint felt something for her. He was holding back something at the office earlier. What could be his reason for leaving suddenly? Perhaps, he was just like others — they can't be caught harbouring feelings for someone like her. She was wrong to think he was different.
She is angry. At Clint, at herself, at her disability at nature and at anything she could blame for her predicament. Her disability had cost her a lot of things and caused her a lot of sadness. She barely could relate with the society. Nobody wants her, as beautiful as she was. It just didn't matter. She couldn't engage in a normal relationship like other ladies of her age and time. Guys withdrew from her the moment they noticed her disability. The ones who stayed around didn't want a long term commitment with her.
Tony was different and genuine, she had thought or he made her believe rather. She wouldn't mind putting up with his drunken ass and excessive request for the money he never pays back. Who knew he was like that too? He left when he thought he had done her enough favour by being her partner. "God will judge you Tony." She cursed him in her thoughts for making her feel so low of herself.
Her childhood… She stopped herself from thinking about it. She tried not to think about that poor speech impaired kid, who cried behind the classroom and bought friendship with her snacks. She stopped herself from thinking about the jest, the segregation, the bullying, the stereotype and the rest. She tried not to think about them all. She tried not to tear up when she remembered that day at the schools hallway; the day Chidi came into her life.
Tina's Parents Didn't entertain the idea of sending their brilliant daughter to any form of school except for the regular school they know. She learnt sign language at home, mastered communicating with writing at tender age and would join kids her age to school every day, but that didn't solve all her problem. No matter how she tried, she was reminded that she wasn't normal like them. Back in the day, during her junior secondary school years, Tina would buy snacks for Uche, Dindu and Grace at lunch. A ritual she performed in exchange for their friendship. It continued until the day she turned them down. Uche, taking the lead, turned her out of the group and a group of people who were once her friend became her nightmare. After a week of being isolated and subjected to ridicule, she went back and begged to be accepted again. She had knelt down on the hallway before the trio with her lunch; a piece of red velvet cake, her Mom had made her as a peace offering. But that didn't appease the girls who were ready to put her in her rightful position; the trash, where she belongs.
They made jest of her before her classmate, until this fearless new girl confronted Uche and dared the three girls to fight her and see if she wouldn't call the attention of her uncle, the principal to their menace. Chidi had dragged her up and took her out of her out of the class, took her to the mango three by the library and consoled her. She could remember how Chidi paired her long lean pinky with hers and promised to be her best friend forever. She had felt so sad, so humiliated and then very overwhelmed by this new girl she knew from nowhere.
She Cursed Clint for contributing his quota in her agony. To have thought that he was different made her angrier. To have fallen helplessly for him made her hate herself and her predicament the more. His actions brought back the memory of Harry; the boy who wouldn't date her because of his friends. Clint bore that expression earlier in the day; the same she saw on Harry's face that very afternoon, at the library when he turned her down. The expression he had when he told her, "I like you Tina but..." and refused to complete the sentence. The same expression he had on when she patiently waited for him to finish the statement, which never happen till three years later, when he texted her from his hostel at Nnamdi Azikiwe University. She knew Harry liked her; the feeling was mutual. She knew he turned her down because of nature's error. She knew he didn't accept her because of his friends. His confessions three years later didn't surprise her
Tina walked into her room and threw herself angrily on the bed. She has promised herself to be strong, not to be deterred by whatever inconvenience her disability may cause her again. She made this decision and had stood by it for years now, but her confidence was failing her.
She buried her face in the pillow and allowed her tears flow with her sadness. She regretted taking Chidi's advice to allow herself love again. The worst advice she has received in recent times. She needed someone to talk to, someone different from Chidimma, who had given her this advice in the first place.
She would have complained to Clint, only if he wasn't the problem. She wouldn't disturb her mum with this. She had promised herself to exclude her mum from her problems, as much as she could. She would complain to Chidi, the origin of the problem. She had no choice than to. She reluctantly picked her phone from the bed, where she carelessly dropped it out of anger.
Tina: Chidi, he won't open up to his feelings.
You know why [Crying face emojis].
She messaged Chidi.
Chidi: Babe calm down
What happened?
Chidi replied almost immediately
Tina: He came to the office today, it was written all over him.
He's having a double mind.
She cried up as she typed.
Chidi: Tina, calm down.
Don't you think you're overreacting?
Let's see tomorrow
For now, get a good rest
Tina: I heard you
She wiped her tears with her hands
Chidi: Get him out of your mind and get a good sleep
Let's talk tomorrow
Clint Received The Instagram message while holding his phone at hand. He felt reluctant about checking it, hence he continued with what he was doing when another one came. "Tina.Tee: I'm sorry about everything. I overreacted . . ." he partially read from his notification
He opened the notifications to read the message in full.
Clint: There is nothing to be sorry about. You did nothing wrong but, Tina, you have to understand. I can't do this with you, you know why and I'm not ready to adjust.
He lied.
He left the app thereafter and turned off his screen. He subsequently dropped the phone and faced the desktop computer before him.