,,Mommy!" is the first thing I heard before I opened my eyes, scrunching my eyes close after seeing the daylight. I love the sun because the feeling of its warmth on my skin makes me happy. I know people hate hot weather because it's too hot and they would sweat, they always say. But since it's Autumn it isn't sunny outside.
I threw the blanket off me and sat up, looking at my little star standing in front of me holding her brown Teddy bear she got from her granny ,,Mommy, look my first tooth fell out, and the tooth fairy gave me this" she says with a confused look, Showing me the five dollar bill, that I placed beneath her pillow before I took her to bed.
Yeah they don't exist and I know that she knows it too, but she pretends she doesn't know, because she doesn't want to admit it, and I understand I would act the same as she does. When she overheard me talking to my dad on the phone because I asked him what I could give her when her first tooth fell out, she cried and rushed to her room and told me she hates me, because she always wanted to be a fairy. She still believes in them though.
,,a five dollar bill Mira! That's fantastic, don't you think, star?" i asked her but she shook her head, saying no with her small voice. I looked at her with a sad look and asked her what she wanted from the tooth fairy instead, she told me she doesn't want anything from the fairy, well from me i guess. And that broke my heart.
I hate myself for letting her listen to me and my dad on the phone. I would change it if i could but i can't.
„how are you feeling today?" I asked her, there was a strand that hung in front of her face and I put it behind her ear, she shrugs her shoulders. „I feel okay," she said, hugging her teddy bear closer to their chest.
„come here" I told her, patting my lap so she could sit on it. She walked over and sat down hugging me. That's when i heard a small voice saying "I love you"
,,I love you so much more little star" i hugged her back kissing the side of her head, saying sweet things in her ear.
I looked at the time, it's still 6 a.m so I stood up and walked to her room ready to lay her down. When I heard her asking me if she could sleep with me, I didn't say no and immediately went into my room and laid her down. She's my little star after all.
Before I went to bed again I needed to use the toilet. After I was finished I walked my way back to bed and layed down putting the blanket on me, cuddling with Mira.
I put my arm over her and felt her moving around so she was facing me
,,mommy" she said holding her teddy bear in front of her looking at me with her sad eyes
,,yes sweetheart" I said back holding her close, because i know she loves it ,,are you really my tooth fairy?" she asked me biting her lip, waiting for my answer
,,yeah i am, and i know your mad at me, im sorry little star" i said to her still holding her close going through her hair with my hand
,,i'm not mad, i was sad because i thought they loved me" she told me holding back her tears that were going to fall ,,but i love you"
When I said those words she smiled, gently wiping away the tears that had trickled down her face with the back of her hand
,,goodnight mommy" she said, closing her eyes with a smile on her face. I looked at her face and wondered what she would be like if she wasn't sick. Would she be happier? Would she go to bed without fear? Or could she be able to run again without problems?