Riku's PoV
"This looks bad…"
It was the winter of my last year of high school.
I muttered those words after looking at the result of the mock exam I took a while ago.
With those marks, there was no way that I could enter the university that I wanted to go to. That left me rather depressed, especially when the entrance exam was coming up.
Of course, it wasn't like I've been playing around like a fool. I was introverted to begin with, so I didn't hang out with anyone and had been focusing on improving my grades instead.
…But it seemed like my efforts weren't enough
There wasn't even anyone at school I could talk with to vent my pent-up feelings, since I hadn't befriended anyone.
In the end, the only thing I could do now was to swallow this bitter pill, move on and put in more effort in the upcoming entrance exam.
As I looked over my answer sheet, trying to figure out my mistakes, I suddenly felt a bump on the back of my head.
"Whoops, sorry, Asanagi, I meant to throw that to the trash can. My aim was off."
"Matsuda…"
When I turned my head around, I saw a boy coming toward me with a smug look on his face. He was Matsuda, the most popular boy in my class. He often talked to introverted people like me in a rather friendly manner.
I looked down on my feet and saw a paper airplane. It was made from the result of his mock exam.
Since it was only a mock exam result, it was up to him whether to treasure it or throw it away like junk, but making a paper airplane and throwing it around, wasn't this too childish of him? …Well, I wasn't particularly close to him, so I wouldn't say that out loud.
"Matsuda, why are you throwing this away?"
"Hm? Well, I don't need it. I mean, I'm not going to enter any university anyway, so the result doesn't matter to me. Still, don't tell anyone about my score though."
There were 'E' letters all around the folded paper airplane. Most of his scores were single digits. He didn't take the exam seriously at all, huh?
Our high school wasn't a preparatory school, so there were about half of the students who chose to get a job instead of going to the university. The number of the students who tried to get into a prominent university like me was scarce.
That was why the class' atmosphere was rowdy. The majority of my classmates just didn't care about the entrance exam. Instead, they were all excited about the upcoming winter vacation.
"Your face doesn't look good, Asanagi. We're planning a party after school today, do you want to join in?"
"…Sorry, I have to refuse. I need to study, you see."
"I understand that, but you need to relax a little or else you'll run out of gas on D-Day. Well, not that I would know. I mean, I won't be taking the exam anyway."
"…Man, I wish I could be that carefree."
"If I look carefree to you, that just means that my method of keeping everything in moderation is a success."
He told me previously that a relative offered him a job as an electrician. Instead of the entrance exam, he had been focusing on getting the certification needed for the job.
Also, he already started his part-time job at the store, making his words sound more credible.
"Well, I need to go home now. Enjoy your life, man. Hope you'll get that certification."
"Thank you. You too, good luck with your studies."
"Thanks."
I could count how many times I talked to him with my hands, but it seemed like my face looked so terrible that he decided to cheer me up even though we weren't that close. I thanked him again silently as I walked out the classroom.
He was right, I needed to take a breather. I didn't want to go to a party, though.
After all, the girl I was close to wouldn't be at that kind of party.
* * *
Shimizu Shizuku, the girl I was close to since kindergarten. Since grade school, back when my little sister was born, I had to move away from my previous house and left her behind. We had been keeping in touch through letters and eventually, phone calls and emails.
Earlier this morning, she texted me that she wanted to call me tonight. I was looking forward to talking with her, but after seeing the result of my mock exam, my mood hit rock bottom and I wasn't all excited anymore.
"Hello?"
{Rikkun, it's been a while! How have you been?}
"What do you mean, it's been a while? We called each other just the other day."
{It's not 'just the other day', Rikkun! It's been a whole week since we did that! So, how have you been?}
"Same old."
{Rikkun, you're talking like this again.}
She started giggling.
It had been a while since I'd seen her, but hearing her voice, she seemed to have grown up considerably. Before this, I received an email with pictures of her attached and she had grown into quite a beauty.
I wonder if she was popular in her school? Of course, I wouldn't ask her that, it would be lame of me.
{The winter vacation is coming up, you'll be visiting, right?}
"Maybe… Well, it'll be hard to visit next year, so I'll try to…"
{I guess so, huh? The university I want to attend is quite far…}
Like me, she would continue her education at a university as well. But, unlike me, her grades were good. She downplayed it by saying that I shouldn't overestimate her because her high school was in the countryside, but according to her mom, it was at least good enough that she could choose whichever public university she wanted to attend.
We lived in completely different worlds.
{By the way, the entrance exam will start in a month. How are your studies going?}
"…Same old, I guess. It's fine."
{Really? I'm glad to hear that. You sound so down, I thought something happened…}
"Nothing much happened. I studied too hard these days and didn't get enough sleep. I'm planning to sleep earlier today."
I hadn't told her nor my mom about my mock exam result. But she found out that I didn't feel good, as expected of her.
Honestly, I was glad that she cared about me this much.
Rather, I should be glad that she did, but…
"What about you, Shi-chan? How's everything going?"
{Well, my study is going well, but my parents told me to relax a little, so I'm doing that. That's why I want to have fun with you during the winter vacation! …A-Also, there's something I want to talk about with you.}
"You can just say it over the phone, you know?"
{I know, but it's more appropriate if I do it face-to-face. I want to see your face while talking about it… Well, if you don't mind, that is…}
"I don't…"
What else could I answer, anyway? Refusing her for no reason wasn't an option.
Besides, I couldn't refuse her even if I wanted to. I grew fond of this girl. Back then, she would always come to me, hold my hand and ask me to fawn over her. Whenever I did, she would show me a happy smile and I wanted to see that smile of hers again.
{Hehe, thank you, Rikkun. You're so sweet~}
"T-This is just how a normal person acts. Anyway, I'm going to sleep, I'm hanging up!"
{Eh~ It's barely ten minutes, let's talk for another hour~}
"Use that time to study instead. Well, I'm hanging up."
{Fine~ Well, when we meet up, promise me that we'll talk with each other a lot, okay?}
After making a promise with her, I hung up the call.
I didn't mind talking to her and we usually spent at least half an hour talking about whatever came to mind.
But hearing her relaxed voice irked me for some reason.
"Forget it, I have to study…"
She didn't say anything, but her mom said that she got straight 'A's on her mock exam. In other words, she was guaranteed to enter the university of her choice as long as she maintained those grades.
A and D. The gap between us was too large.
What a useless person I was.
I crumpled the mock exam result and threw it to the bin before heading toward my desk again.