I arrived at the meeting place with Necip earlier than the agreed time. The weather is constantly changing. It is hot at noon and cold towards the evening. In fact, it is very rare when Eskişehir is hot. I do not get off the school bus. I turned to Necip Erdoğan, the teacher behind me, and showed him the place where we would meet. Let's meet at this cafe tomorrow and prepare annual plans. I said. He seemed very pleased. He said, "If you want, we can meet up already and have a cup of tea." But I didn't like that. I had to take it easy for the first date. The young students passing by me winking at me were walking hand in hand. When I looked at them, I felt the need for a boyfriend for the first time in my life. I was 25 years old and until now. I had never held anyone's hand until I was working in the past. I was born in Erzincan, then my family moved to Bursa. We live in the Kestane district of Bursa. I supported my family by both studying and working when I was young. Then I studied at the university in Izmir. While studying at the university, there was no one in my life who loved me unconditionally. There was a boy who was playing and he was an Alevi like me but the boy had no interest in me. The person I would marry or have a relationship with would have to be an Alevi like me. Because we are a bit of a cultural confusion with Muslims, I was very calm as I proposed a meeting to the mathematics teacher Recep Erdoğan. You fell into the world of myself. I let it fluctuate, I was saying whatever happens, Nicki Erdoğan came to the store wearing jeans and a woolen coat. The women's glasses and glasses were filled with raindrops. She ordered a coffee. She was drinking it with milk and sugar. I would exhibit the coffee. I immediately smoked it. Since he did not smoke in those years, he was immediately affected by the smoke. And their eyes watered. The dry branches of the trees were split into pieces as if they were causing small wounds in the cloudy sky. Flocks of birds were struggling to fly under the dense lies in their rush to reach warmer regions. I also wanted to fly to the airport for a warmer place. There was no rush in me. It was as if I had left home to start a new job. I didn't even feel any excitement. Today was Saturday and at 13:00 in the afternoon, I was like going to a job that is tiring but you have to do. Actually, I should have been excited, but I didn't know what this first meeting would bring, but as you read at the beginning of the book, after our first meeting, the next meetings will come and we will have a relationship in the future. As you know, in the middle of our relationship, he had to go to the military. However, after completing his master's degree, he had to go to the military. As you know, our relationship ended somehow and he married Recep Erdoğan's friend Neslihan, whom he met during his university years. I don't know how it feels to be a mother. I still live with my family. I continue to support my family financially because my brother couldn't find a permanent job and is having a hard time making ends meet. After drinking our coffee, Necip Erdoğan opened his laptop. We opened an Excel file and started creating the file together. While we were working, we were gossiping about school. We talked about the physics teacher. Then, about the art teacher, I told him how handsome the art teacher was and that I wanted to be with him if he was single. After this sentence, I felt that he became very upset. He remained silent and started not talking at all. He was just sipping his coffee and biting his chocolate. This movement was actually a proof of how much he liked me, out of jealousy. He turned red. I said, "I don't want you to misunderstand me." He said, "Are you kidding me?" After all, we are both doing the same thing. In fact, I am acting sincerely with the literature teacher so that you will be jealous of me. I said, "Yours is more like setting sail for a relationship that goes further than showing sincere attitudes. I know you spent the night at his house the other night." And you write the same message to him as you wrote to me. Whatever message he wants to go out that day, you meet him. If you want to drink tea, you write to both of us at the same time asking if we can drink tea. The literature teacher told me about all of these. After making plans for our coffee, we got up and walked down a broken street for a while. We passed the cars one after the other and came to the hostel where I was staying. We stopped in front of the hostel for a while. I smoked a cigarette. Then we went to the floor of the hostel reserved for the guests. We sat there on the blue armchairs where we always sit and pressed the zoom on the video player to watch a movie. Thanks to that women's coat of Necip Erdoğan, he didn't think at all, but I was shivering, he noticed that I was cold, he took off his coat and gave it to me, but I was still feeling cold, he suddenly hugged me at an unexpected moment and said, "I hope he won't be cold anymore." It was a very nice feeling for me to really feel his warmth. I raised my lips and shook my head."No, I don't think so anymore," I said and leaned my head on his shoulder. We stayed like that until the end of the one-hour movie. Then he started playing with my hair. He said he liked my curly hair and then he planted a kiss on my cheeks. His lips slowly moved down from my jawbone to my throat. Then he wandered around your earlobe for a while, and he wanted to get there. He finally started to reach the ground. He kissed her on the lower lip. He headed towards my mountain. Then, instead of these innocent kisses, he started passionate kisses. There was no one of us in the hall. He was using his advantage with a woman. I was holding his hands. If I left it in his hands, I would definitely read m************. He started to move his tongue inside his mouth. The hall was dark. And it was freezing, we could barely see each other in the dark. I suddenly stood up and told him that you were uncomfortable kissing him. I even went further and said don't call me again, I don't want to meet you. While walking towards the stairs, he approached me with the girl from behind and hugged me without realizing it. At that moment, I felt that it was more historical, there was wetness next to the head, as if kissing him was a feeling I had experienced for the first time in my life and I liked it very much, but the fact that he constantly squeezed my breasts made me a little sick. Moreover, while I was kissing him, he held my hand and started rubbing his bulging dick under my trousers. He tried to open the button. I said I wouldn't open it. I liked it better this way. There was a long sofa in the living room we were in. He made me sit on this sofa. He knelt in front of me and took off my shoes. He said I had very elegant feet and started kissing my feet. I think the man was an asshole. I wasn't excited about the support either, but I wasn't cool either. For a moment, it seemed to me that we were doing what we were doing just because he liked doing it. When did he undress me, as if he were undressing a model? We could act comfortably because he locked the entrance door of his salon. A shop assistant quickly and without them undressed the human sketch in the window, making sure that he would not re-dress it. When he saw my socks he was surprised and said, "Wow, I thought these socks were worn by old grandmothers." I said, "Yes, I always wear them like this." I said, "There was no hair on my legs because I did it from time to time a few days ago." I wanted to meet you that day, but I told you that you were busy. The next day, when I came to school and saw your shining legs, I realized how you spent the night. I told him that he was a s**** and that he was always looking at my legs. I was ashamed of this inappropriate comment. But more than being ashamed, he was in education and the gentleman math teacher was such a s****. I didn't think it would be a ****. After all, all men are the same, right? His eyes were blazing. He was looking at me like a s**** at home. He put that medicine in his hands and inside my shirt. He reached my breasts. He started squeezing the head of my breasts. He asked me to take off the shirt completely. I said I was cold. By the way, my eyes were closed. It burns like fire there. However, in the meantime, I realized that my teacher was slowly warming up and objective reality was slowly moving away from me. Passion was starting to dominate the situation. My panties were getting wet. The man was dominating me. Then I got down from the sofa. I noticed the slipperiness and incredible coldness of the plug under my feet. He wanted to take me away. I wanted him to do whatever he wanted, but on the other hand, I was making him believe my feelings. I was thinking about my family. My family would definitely not allow me to marry someone from the Sunni sect. Because I had talked about him a few days ago and they had told me not to give up on these things while the road was close. He suddenly did something I never expected until I was 25. I did not see his male organ for the first time at that moment. I saw him suddenly pull down his zipper and take out his justice for you and said that my hands are very graceful, that's how he wants his hands to hold his tool. While he is trying to hold my hands and stretch them towards his tool, I try to pull myself back, but after all, even he was stronger than me to the men. Finally, the tips of my fingers started to touch the hot tool, then that's what happened. I thought it was okay, so I grasped the hot tool completely and started moving my fingers up and down, back and forth, the math teacher. We were so horny that when we moved two or three times, a wet and slippery liquid started to flow from my hands. I ignored it because of my embarrassment. I wiped it with a napkin and threw the napkin away. I had done what he asked me, the male organ had become hard. And it grew bigger. But later, after this wetness increased, it was worse than grey. He grabbed me by the armpits, lifted me up to the bed, asked me to sit on the bed and wanted me not to open my mouth, then he started to bring his shrunken penis closer to my mouth. I said I couldn't do this. Moreover, I was sickened by the smell of rudeness. But he held my head by force and pressed my lips to those soft lips. He touched the head of the tool and thought, "If you did it once, you can do it again." I was made a soft tool and started caressing it. Then, since it was small, it could completely enter my mouth, but my mouth was closed.It was as if there was a sleeping monster inside the tool, it suddenly grew bigger and it couldn't fit in my mouth anymore. I remembered the candies I used to put in my mouth as a child and they exploded in my mouth. When you put the tiny candies in your mouth, they become huge and explode one after another. Just like those candies, it suddenly grew into the man's small tool. I started going back and forth a few times with my tongue from the bottom. Sometimes I was rubbing my tongue on the hole where the man urinated and he ejaculated for the second time with pleasure. This time, even though it was the first time I saw that wet and hot Tuesday in my life, it was now sliding down my uvula.