August 9, 1862
Culpeper County, Virginia
It had been so many months since we trained and recently.. I was marching with my comrades in Virginia, I didn't really know what was truly happening, but I did hear from rumors that something big was about to go down.
I pondered on that fact, though I stopped pondering as I heard gunshots nearby as we were given orders to go at the double quick and form a battle line, I hurried forward as I got into the line with my body shivering as it felt the feeling of swear drip.. and drip.. I looked at my friend Patty, the man I met at the tent as I said,
"I... think Johnny Reb's gonna attack us.." I said with a scared look as my face was pale and terrified with each gunshot sound echoing closer and closer.
I looked back as the commanding officer screamed at the top of his lungs,
"FULL KITS!"
I panicked as I quickly grabbed a roundball cartridge from my bag before biting into it and spitting it out. I held the cartridge shaking a bit as I loaded the round into the muzzle and the powder, I reached down for the ramrod as I yanked it out with my hands more shaky as every second passed with me ramming down quickly the bullet.
I placed the ramrod back before getting at the ready as I loaded a percussion cap on the ignition point of my rifle before going at the full cock position for the hammer. I heard hundreds of hammers pulled back as everybody in my Company had reloaded their rifles, and after that, everybody and including me placed on their bayonets before suddenly.. a gunshot fired.
It felt like if time had slowed down as I felt blood splatter to the right side fo my face dripping and spraying as it mixed with my sweat before looking to my right seeing Patty's neck having a whole chunk ripped off.. I screamed as I looked at him with his lifeless body as my right ear ringed a bit as I only heard from my right ear the besting of my heart.
I looked back forward as I teared up with my body, feeling like if there was a pile of stones of me... I heard the orders of my officer as he screamed,
"TAKE AIM..!"
With my Shakey hands, I lifted up my rifle with it swaying as I attempted to take aim at the enemy that seemed to be at least 78 some meters away as I then finally heard the order.
"FIRE!"
For a second, I heard the ripple of gunshots before my hearing dwindled with those gunshots being muffled as I fired my gun... Smoke filled the air as we were given another order,
"INDEPENDENT FIRE!"
I quickly grabbed another cartridge as I loaded buck and ball with me hearing those footsteps of the enemy coming closer just by hearing their equipment clank and click together.
Shaking my head I bit the buck and ball cartridge as I poured the pellets, ball, and the gunpowder down the barrel before grabbing the ramrod and ramming it down my rifle before placing the ramrod back as I placed on the percussion cap though it felt like a struggle as my fingers shook so wildly.
I finally placed it on before another ripple of a volley was heard as I saw men by my side fall down being torn to pieces by the bullets... I panicked further with the feeling of blood on me. I screamed a bit as I raised my rifle taking aim at a confederate soldier, I saw that blonde boy taking aim back at me though I fired the round first with the pellets and ball smashing into his body as I saw his poor body ragdoll.
I panicked more as I heard the rebel cry.. it sounded like hundreds of rabid dogs that were trying to maul me. My heart beated faster every second as the shouting continued with them marching forwards towards us...
I looked at our officer as he screamed at us, "CHARGE BAYONETS, MARCH FORWARD, AT THE DOUBLE QUICK!"
I looked at him with a petrified look as I presented my rifle forwards with my bayonet pointing at the enemy before heading at a jogging speed towards them, I felt scared, I wanted to run, I wanted to cry, shout, repent to the lord when I had the chance.
Finally, the order was given to charge as every man by me charged forwards as I looked at them before following behind ss I was forced into this hand to hand dismay of chaos.
I slammed into one the Rebels as I saw his eyes as he tried to stab my gut though I turned my gun holding it by its butt and the barrel as I smashed the middle part of my barrel downwards on his bayonet causing it to stab the dirt. I screamed and cried with tears flowing down my face as I plunged my bayonet forward into the mans throat as I felt blood splash on my left hand holding the barrel as it was warm... so warm yet terrifying to see.
I tore my bayonet out of his throat as my stomach ached and felt horrible as I witnessed the sight right before me... I looked around swaying my rifle everywhere as I saw another man run at me before he tackled me and pinned me to the ground with my ribcage taking a blunt hit on the back.
Feeling his hands wrapped around my neck terrified me as he held onto it tightly as I couldn't breathe properly with my body throwing itself around before I felt my rifle and the tip of the barrel, I moved my hand to the middle part of the barrel grasping onto it before swinging the barrel and its bayonet to the mans ribcage.
I saw that mans eyes as he felt his ribcage and the flesh and skin covering it torn by the bayonet and puncturing his lung... He coughed blood out as I shoved him off with more tears on my eyes as there was a drenched uniform I was wearing of poor individual's blood.
I was scared, I wanted out, Lord help me.
TO BE CONTINUED...