[Ding! Bob the Alchemist is Now Assisting You!]
[Ding! Use Him Wisely for the Next Hour!]
As soon as Gray used his cheat, he suddenly felt a presence behind him. But as he turned around, he screamed in shock.
"Y-You, who the hell are you?!"
"Me? Bob. Bob the alchemist, a pleasure to meet you, young man!"
Gray expected an old man. It wasn't! No, the ghostly face that stared right back at him was a young kid who looked incredibly ugly with a bob cut, just like his name.
"Surprised at seeing me so young? Yeah, most on their deathbed would be wrinkled, but I'm different. My body was so weak I had to bribe the association for them to come to me."
Wait, so the bribe wasn't to pass the exam but to change its location?! Gray's confidence suddenly rose by a ton.
"Right, we only have an hour. I need your help with this!"
"Cheating on an exam? No way. Professionals have standards! Go back home, study, then try again next year. You're still young. You still have your whole life ahead of you."
Bob shook his head, disappointed in his summoner. But before he could leave, Gray clasped his ectoplasm tightly.
"Hear me out at least, then you can decide for yourself!"
At this moment, Gray mustered every single trick he knew about storytelling, sharing the most heart-wrenching story he could think of. Who said reading web novels was useless?!
Then, before long, a certain ghost started crying.
"How horrible! They mistook you for the criminal? They didn't even let you prove your innocence? They sent Death Knights after you?! Those bastards! Let's crush this exam!"
Gray happily flipped through the pages of the Exam. As for the questions that had stumped him? Well, they still stumped him! But, as they reached one about alchemy…
"Ah, I know this one! Explaining will be too long. Come closer…"
Bob the Alchemist slipped his hand right inside his skull! Then, he flicked his ghostly fingers, sending waves of information to his brain, suddenly enlightening Gray!
"Ah! I know Alchemy, I actually know alchemy?! That's crazy! Hehe, I'll definitely go to sleep smarter tonight."
"Tonight? As soon as I'm gone, you'll forget it all. Do you think it's so easy to become an Alchemist? Preposterous! Now, focus on that exam, or else you'll meet that Duke of yours!"
YES! Gray didn't hesitate, getting to work…
3. You enter a Forest with a fellow alchemist. He says he found a Carnivora and wants your help extracting its nectar. But then you realize it has 27 petals and 42 fangs, so you slap him. Why?
"Slap? I don't just slap him. I also spit on him! Then, I torture him until he tells me why he's trying to assassinate me."
"Good, perfect! Ah, but make sure to add your reasoning, even if it's obvious. Teachers can sometimes be a huge pain!"
"You're right, Bob! Now, everyone knows a Carnivora has 28 petals and 40 fangs. This thing is its Demonic Variant, with deadly poison instead of nectar. Thus I…"
The more Gray kept writing, the more atrocities were inflicted upon the poor hypothetical student until he finally had to switch to the next question after running out of space.
"Next!"
27. What's the weight of a Water Lilly, and how can it help treat burn victims?
"Only idiots weigh Water Lilies! Just use one whole flower! As for burn victims, ever heard of Bluegrass? It grows in the same place, is more efficient, and is 1/100 the price!"
73. You have a medicinal garden, but for some reason, your plants simply won't grow. This is especially true for your Fiery Sakura. *See attached graph.
"I fire the gardener! Fiery Sakura? Who cares about the damn Sakura? Your Everleaf Bush is 90% healthy! It should be 100%: it says so in the name EVERLEAF! Treat it first!"
Gray then drew tons of lines explaining the interactions between the spirit plants, showing what would happen as long as the Everleaf was healed.
Everleaf Bush Healed? → Mossvine recovering naturally → Silver-Bamboo growing in turn → …. → Fiery Sakura blossoming again!
"As for the actual Everleaf treatment? Just catch whatever pest has been eating it! Look for external damage, and if there's nothing visible, shoot it with Snake-Venom Cider!"
Thus, Gray kept answering more and more questions, his hand flying across the display. But, a problem soon cropped up. They had run out of alchemical questions!
The duo soon found themselves stumped.
Forging? How should they bloody know?!
Anything related to Beast Taming? Also difficult.
Mana Questions? Bob had been too sickly to train!
As for the Astronomical questions? Hot and burning PASS!
This meant that they had only answered 20% of the Exam! Seeing this, Bob couldn't help but shake his head, despairing.
"This Academy's brutal! Why is becoming a student so hard?! I'm sorry I can't be any more help. At this rate, you'll be—" Bob actually teared up.
"Don't worry, you did plenty. Now, we scrap for as many points as we can. Watch this. Let me work my magic!"
1. A new student's Mana has been going wild, but only once every blue moon. He begs you in tears for a way to solve his training issues. What do you do?
"I obviously refer him to his Teacher. Surely he has one, right? Why should I be the one helping him?" Then he kept going, writing more nonsense.
4. A wandering Spellsword wants you to forge a blade sharper than moonlight and—
"Sharper than Moonlight? I suggest he quit being a Spellsword and become a poet instead. Sharper than Moonlight. What's next? A shield so sturdy it overshadows the sun?!"
Actually solving the question? NOPE! Gray would simply point out the glaring flaws in their logic. It was definitely not the point, but one must admit he wasn't wrong either!
"T-This… one can answer exams like this?! You, you're amazing! What is this technique called? Even I know that it's wrong, and yet—"
"Hehe. This is a lost technique known as Internet Kungfu, aka shit-posting. It is the main tool of Keyboard Immortals across the multiverse. It is…"
But Gray suddenly stopped, shocked. Not only had he just finished answering every question, but his ghostly friend was becoming increasingly transparent by now.
His ectoplasm trembled:
"I see, my time has come… It seems I will be the one going to sleep smarter. Thank you for showing me so much before I can eternally rest. It will give me much to dream about."
Bob thanked him with such sincerity that Gray's heart quivered. At this moment, he wasn't a ghost, or a genius alchemist, no he was merely a kid happy to have made a new friend.
He gave one last smile, then disappeared into countless light particles.
Left alone, Gray suddenly felt empty. Bob. Bob. Bob. He'd remember him! Sighing, he pressed on the Glowing Display before him.
[End Exam Early? 3 Hours Left! Are You Sure?]
Gray decisively pressed it. Every question was filled; he was truly done. Besides, the knowledge he had been loaned? Most of it had already disappeared as if a nice dream.
As he stretched, his entire spine and neck satisfyingly cracked. As soon as it did, a man on a nearby chair suddenly spat his coffee, his eyes bulging.
He wore the official Academy robe and seemed to be the Exam's Proctor in charge of ensuring the Exam started and finished on time. As for Gray finishing so early:
"Y-You, don't tell me you're already done?! That's impossible?!"
"And yet here I am. You should stay clear of gambling."
Gray gently advised with a smile, the shell-shocked Proctor Guy nodding, seemingly having lost his soul. But then he gestured for him to head out of the room to await the results.
Nodding, Gray complied. But he had merely passed the door that he was ambushed. A cute girl and a master of jiggle physics eyeballing him as if he were a monster.
"Y-You're already done?! T-That's imposs—"
"Impossible? I know, I know."
At the moment, he didn't care much about what others thought of him. No, he had one and one concern only. Had he passed?! Had he failed?! His life depended on it!
Thus began the longest wait ever, until finally…
[Ding! The Results Are Out! Please Head Back Inside!]
But Gray had merely taken a step inside when he suddenly felt all eyes landing on him. It wasn't just the applicants, either. It was the same for the newly arrived Teachers!
Ridicule? No. Anger? Neither. Admiration? That also wasn't accurate.
They seemed flabbergasted… and confused?!