CHAPTER 12: Speak Up, Puppy
Mitsuko knows the city better than me despite living here for only a week. Come to think of it, I don't know much about her or where she came from. Is she deliberately withholding that information? Do her friends at school know her backstory? I drift in my thoughts, following her like a lost puppy. Her sun kissed hair entrances me. Occasionally she'll turn around with a dismissive glare, checking if I'm still alive. I feel unwanted, yet every time I try to leave, she admonishes me… I can't figure her out.
We enter a coffee shop. The barista calls her by name. It's as if I don't exist until Mitsuko explains that she's paying for my order as well. The prices intimidate me. I don't have a single credit to my name, and even if I did… I insist that I'm not hungry or thirsty. Mitsuko knows I'm lying. She orders an extra of what she got; a white mocha and blueberry muffin. I thank her, but she waves it off like a bad stench.
"Um… Mitsuko?"
She eyes me brutally while sipping her coffee. "What?"
"I wanted to apologize… about… about yesterday…"
Mitsuko arcs her yellow eyebrow. Her blue eyes are surrounded with black eyeshadow. "What happened yesterday?"
I look down to my muffin wrapper on the table. "You know…"
"No, I don't know. Speak up, puppy."
Puppy, she said? My eyes are drawn to hers as tingles course through my spine. Her face twists into a daring smile, tempting me to continue. I don't know what's real anymore. Maybe she's right. Nothing happened last night and I'm losing my mind. That must be it…
"N-nothing…" I take a sip of my white mocha. It is delicious and warms my bitter insides.
Mitsuko looks out the window, deep in thought. It's like she's by herself and I'm just a candid observer across the table.
"Oh, fuck…" Mitsuko ducks her head. Two of our classmates walk in; the volleyball and cheerleader girls. They don't spot us. Mitsuko whispers without looking at me, "Wait for me at my house. Use my Zenith, get your gold or whatever the fuck. Tch! Hurry up!"
I stand up, moving with purpose and almost spill my coffee. The girls spot me. They scoff at my presence. They see Mitsuko sitting at the table.
"Mitsuko! Oh my god, what a coincidence! Are you here by yourself?!"
"Hey-hey-hey. Yes, I am," Mitsuko says as I exit the shop. I don't know why, but this hurts like a batch of splinters carving into my chest. I'm so worthless that she doesn't want to be seen with me in public. Especially after-school! I totally understand; it would ruin her reputation to talk to a loser like me. But still, why would she help me despite all that… Why did we go to the city together?
I do as I'm told and return to the guest bedroom. I'm honored that Mitsuko trusts me enough to let me roam the house alone. I could creep in her room, but surely I'd be murdered if ever caught. I put on her pink Zenith and turn it on.
The headset scans my biometrics. I login to Digital Sin Online. I fast-travel to the Sol Relay, a space station on the outskirts of Pluto. I enter the Citadel Bank and talk to an NPC named The Illusive Man. He's always smoking cigarettes from the old-world. I exchange my 50,000,000 gold for 5000 real-life credits.
I don't feel like myself. Before I met Mitsuko, I'd be feening to explore the galaxy with my Blade Of 1000 Wet Nurses in hand, cutting shadows in Tarukaja Tower, killing noobs on planet Darling 002… Now I find myself not wanting to play at all. My mind is on Mitsuko. I take off my headset and listen… Nothing. She isn't home yet.
I put the headset back on and log out of Digital Sin Online. I scrub through the pod directories, looking for a place near Bebop Academy. I get a 50% discount from the school incentive for orphans. Everything is so expensive… I find a 50 square foot pod for 1000 credits a month. Fifty percent off would be 500, and it's right by the academy! That gives me 10 months of rent before food expenses. I can use the school locker rooms to take showers during the weekdays. Yes, this will work.
I sign the lease. I request my confiscated materials from my previous pod to be delivered to my new residence. I pay the 1000 credits I owe from last month, feeling physical pain as I confirm the transaction. I have no choice in the matter; the collectors would have found me eventually. There's no hiding from the robot birds in the sky. Honestly, I'm surprised they didn't peck me with their beaks earlier…
I take off the pink headset and look out the window. The sun is descending, clocking-out and replaced by the transient moon. What if Mitsuko doesn't come home? Should I stay until she returns? I have my own pod now… I'm kept in place by Mitsuko's last command, 'wait for me at my house'. I feel like a puppy that sits at the front door, waiting for their master to come home. My emotions are being torn apart. I need to step back and remove this tether. She hates me, so why do I feel this way? Stupid! Idiot!
I lay in the guest bed, hands behind my head, staring at the moonlit ceiling. A faint blue hue envelops the room. Blue, just like her eyes, just like her toenails… I squeeze my eyes together, hoping to suffocate the intrusive thoughts. Nothing works. I wonder where she is right now.
Having the time of her life, maybe at the bar, the arcade, one of the cheerleaders houses… It is the weekend. I've never been invited to a party in my life. I wouldn't even know what to do there.
In the olden days, I would have drowned my sorrows with my Zenith. But today I can't bring myself to do that. My eyelids are getting heavy…