Ethan's mouth opened as he got out of her hold. He looked for words to speak then he pressed his lips as if he didn't want to answer her.
Jessamyn needed no other proof. Emily, for once was not exaggerating.
"Why?"
That's all she could ask.
Ethan knew how much she advised him against joining the military. The military might be the quickest way to get ahead, but the military changed good boys into dishonest men. She didn't want to lose her brother.
"You've done enough and slaved yourself enough for us, Jessamyn. Let me take that yolk from your neck. Let me be the provider. It is my duty as the man," Ethan said in a pleading tone.
Jessamyn held his hands. "No, Ethan. Anything but the military...Please reconsider..."
Ethan bowed his head with his arms folded over his chest. He had made his decision.
Jessamyn felt a stare at her and looked at Jerrick. His stoic face had no expression. When she met his eyes, he looked away.
It was fine if he felt guilty. She had no pride to hide the cost of his betrayal. He should know what he did to her.
If he had a heart or a conscience, he would back off from this marriage proposal. It was her last chance for him.
Behind him was Lynae. She said nothing but her glance caused a stir in Jessamyn's stomach. She almost threw up the little food she ate as she remembered the most important thing.
The council wants her to go through the marriage. She could defy them and might succeed in getting out of their claws.
But then she wouldn't get what she wanted.
Yes, she wanted that one thing more than anything.
She was in a rock and a hard place.
She didn't want to marry that man but she needed to do what the council wanted.
What should I do?
Not minding Emily's shouts of displeasure, Ethan held Jessamyn's shoulder. "I'm not taking the title. I am used to this life. I have to forge a path for my future, Jessamyn. I am not a child anymore. I will~"
"Who is she?" Jessamyn whispered.
She knew that look on her brother. It was the look of a man in love who wanted to do anything and everything to make a future for himself so he would be with his lady love.
Her dearest brother wanted to be her support. But... She could see that he cared more about not getting the titles than about her. He too had learned to be selfish.
It's not wrong to be selfish about one's life.
But...
She saw the exact same look on the face of a man before. He too spoke such words. She trusted him then and yet he returned a different man. She didn't want the same to happen to her brother.
Jessamyn noticed the crack in the facade of Ethan's determined face. Was it shock or shame?
She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath.
Ethan hadn't figured out what he wanted to say and yet he spoke. "Jessamyn, I..."
Not minding her lovestruck brother, she walked to the man who taught her a valuable life lesson before. He was surprised she got closer to him and maybe he despised her closeness, so he took a step back.
"Make sure Ethan gets the land grants once he inherits the title," she said, meeting his eyes.
Then, Ethan would get enough money to handle the household affairs and the status he deserved.
Jessamyn thought that he would at least think about it for a second or so.
"I give you my word," Jerrick said, without any hesitation. On his barren face, a small smile bloomed and a glimmer formed in the corner of his eyes.
Jessamyn observed him. After meeting him again, this was the first time she took a good look at his face. He was entirely different. The boyish charm was missing and he too had become an adult weighed down by responsibilities.
But his eyes... Not much had changed. Those luminous green eyes looked at her the same.
Her smile turned dry.
Yeah, he's the same man, all right? His words mean nothing.
Jerrick realized the meaning behind her smile and bowed his head.
"The wedding will happen after Ethan gets our father's fief back," Jessamyn said in a clear voice.
The past few days had been exhausting. A lot of unexpected things happened. She still hadn't wrapped her head around everything. But meeting her brother had given her some clarity.
She had lost everything in this life. She buried her heart with her husband, and her body got sullied by accident. She had sold her soul to the Council and pretended it was fine because she was doing good.
Everything has changed now.
She had made a decision and she would stand by it. She had already lived a complicated life. It was not going to change for the better. She decided to face whatever this life throws at her.
This life was over for her. She could only hope for the best in her next life.
Ethan held her wrist to stop her. "Jess-"
Jessamyn stopped and looked at him. He looked apologetic. He had the right to get angry at her or confuse her by manipulating her emotionally. But as always, he decided to listen to her. She hugged him.
"Ethan, I am doing this out of love. I am not losing you." she squeezed him closer. "And introduce her to me. I'll take care of the rest. I promise," she whispered the last part in his ears and patted his back.
It was her duty as his big sister to help him in that regard. She knew what losing one's love felt like. Her little brother didn't deserve that suffering. She would suffer anything in his place for the rest of her life.
*Bang*
The loud noise at the door cut short the siblings' heartwarming moment. Jessamyn took a step back and looked at the door.
In came a disheveled man. His untied shoulder-long hair was as white as the waterlily on a moonlit night. His blue eyes were wide and his strong jaws were ajar out of shock. His arms were still stretched in the air; he didn't bother to put them down after forcing his way in.
The butler standing by the door stormed behind him. When that man stopped, the butler almost fell backward trying to stop himself from dashing on that man.
"Did I hear right?" The man shouted not concealing the shock. "You got the Royal Decree for your wedding with the Black Lady? How did you manage to~"'
He stopped speaking seeing the big crown in the room. He cleared his throat, wetted his lips, and fixed the lapel of his coat.
His eyes ended up at Jessamyn and his lips curved to an awkward smile.