With the plan made, I first went to the pharmacist. I checked up a little and was given some painkillers as I had initially anticipated. After that, I went to San Francisco, to Rangers Flower Shop, and bought the most beautiful red roses. A bouquet of about ten of them, well packed, and then called a cab.
The cab arrived at the parking lot of my apartment complex, and then off we went, as I gave him more directions to wherever I was heading. I did not have a phone, not anything. Even for the doctor, the flowers, and the cab, thank God I was used to having cash in my apartment. Otherwise, I would have just walked to Elvis' place. It was a little far.
Anyway, after turning and climbing on the tarmac, we arrived at Elvis' place. I wanted to make the most of this free week, but it seemed I had messed up all through. I needed to make it right, I told myself all over again.
I paid the cab, alighted, and directed myself towards the Marines' residing area. My car was still in the outside parking lot. Thank God, no one had stolen it. It was never safe to leave a car outside, especially during nights.
I touched it a little, with a slightly saddened face, and then entered the ground floor of the Marines' apartment, to the elevator, and up to the floor where Elvis lived. I hoped I would not be heartbroken by Aaliyah. I really wanted to clear the air between me and her, in addition to entertaining Elvis at least. I needed Elvis to take me seriously, even if it was just once. I think he never did, maybe because I was a doctor. He really adored me for that.
As the elevator clicked open, I walked out, and suddenly nervousness filled me. It was something that never got me when arriving at Elvis' place. Maybe the dread of yesterday was still fresh in my thoughts. I wondered what he thought of me.
'Knock, knock,' I knocked, and stepped back one step from the door, as my heart beat fast. It felt as if this was the worst mistake I had ever made in my life. I had never felt this tense, even during that time when Kate's parents had refused to let me see the baby.
Small footsteps were heard from the inside, as the lock turned. Each activity seemed slow, very slow, as if waiting for the worst dread. Like, if Elvis saw me, he would turn into a large dragon and burn my whole face.
The door opened, and a beige sweatpants-dressed Aaliyah caught my eyes. She too seemed surprised to see me, as she first looked back and slightly closed the door behind her. I still hadn't spoken.
With both of us outside, she questioned in more of a whisper, "What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you," I confidently stated, seeing no point in whispering as if I feared Elvis. He would throw me into the ditch as well; I did not care. I just needed to create my peace and maybe really be honest with Aaliyah. At least for once. "These are for you," I added, slightly pushing my hands forward for Aaliyah to take the beautiful bouquet. She indeed took it but looked around to see if someone had seen her.
"Are you ashamed of them? I can change them... I did not know..." I was nervously stuttering. I had never bought flowers for a girl before, except Kate, of course. However, with Aaliyah, it felt more traumatizing. Like her opinion mattered most. What she liked was top-notch, and I would really feel crazy if she stated to my face that she did not like it.
"Who is it?" Elvis's roar was heard from behind the door, and Aaliyah grabbed my hand, pushing me, telling me to leave. But today, I was determined; I wanted to face him. I did not care. After all, if I really wanted to be with the girl, I would have to face him.
"Don't you listen, brother?" Elvis roared, right after opening the door and finding me there. I suddenly felt small under his gaze. We were both almost the same height. "What part of that beating didn't you understand?" he added, his face scanning mine as if looking for answers. But I was determined to show no emotion, and second, determined to speak to him. Whatever it is he thought. I don't think this was a part of 'protecting my sister.'
"Visitors and guests are welcomed, brother. You seem to have forgotten," I interceded his statements, knocking off his guts.
"And who told you, you are a visitor?" he retorted, his voice still that of a roar.
"I see you've changed," I added, knowing very well I was disturbing or rather irritating and annoying a sleeping lion.
"And what makes you think I have changed?" he questioned, his whole body now showing as he closed the door. He had on his military combat gear; I think he was either heading to the base or had just come from it.
"Didn't mean it that way." I took back my words. I did not want us to continue fighting. This might be an endless loop of fighting with no end in sight.
"What brings you here?" he questioned, his eyes lingering on the flowers Aaliyah carried right beside me.
"I like your sister, and I don't think this discussion should take place in such an open area," I added, looking at the houses next to ours.
"They are disciplined; we don't listen to people's business," he retorted angrily. He, of course, hated it when someone associated the military with gossip, lies, or betrayal. He indeed hated it. One thing I realized right when he left from training.
"Protecting your brothers, I understand." I tried calming this acid within us. "I really do like her. If, Elvis, you can let me prove how much, just say the word… anything."
"I do not have any objection between you and Aaliyah, brother. Not one! She is a grown-up, and she sure knows what she wants better than what I can provide for her. I just want her to have something for herself before committing to a fully established man. You have a doctor's degree, brother. You have a well-paying job and maybe a greater yearly income, and that is great for you, and I admire that. But what about her? She is just getting started; she will soon have her writing degree. And then after, instead of letting her continue with her industrious wants of being a writer, you will start demanding babies. She is twenty-one, almost twenty-two. You are, God knows, twenty-whatever years. You have a son! You have a baby mother. God knows if both of you speak. I do not stand against you because I hate you or anything. I stand because I do not want you to subject my sister to the toxic life she doesn't deserve, and you know it. I saw you drink up through the years, every day, every night, right after your job. I saw how you just wanted life to pass by as if it had no meaning. I would be glad if you found meaning for life, a reason to live, a reason to fight, a reason to start all over again. But starting all over again does not mean being with Aaliyah, brother. It would be enjoyable to see you start with someone, Keisha, Alisha, Tyla, name anyone… Elsa, and even a David if you stand being gay. But my sister? My sister? I don't know."
"What if I prove…" I questioned.
"What is there to prove? You have proved yourself enough, haven't you?"
"That was the old me, Elvis. And my boy died." I saw some scorn of pain or condolence on his face. "He died last week, to be precise," and then he laughed at me suddenly.
"Your son died?" He asked again.
"Yeah," I whispered, as I remembered that night of the surgery. Those beeping sounds, a traumatizing experience.
"And you did not care to even tell us? And mind you, did not care to even go and send off your son?"
"Who told you I did not send him off?" I questioned.
"Was it not you last week, who was busy with my sister, exactly that night when I came and struck your soft face?" he questioned, and I wondered where this conversation was heading.
"Where is this conversation heading, Elvis? I regret my ways, and I want to reform. Is that too much to ask?"
He just shook his head, and leaving us, added in a louder tone, "Just don't break her heart." He entered the elevator, leaving, as I looked at Aaliyah, whose eyes were filled with pity. So, I just hugged her. I did not know why, I just hugged her.
"You went through all that alone?" she questioned, as I felt a whimper in her voice.
"No, I… I… I don't know." I did not know what to say. Tell her I was the person in the surgery room with the boy, tell her of the mother's deeds, tell her I'm just existing. I don't know, I just wanted to make something that makes me happy. And she was the one, she was the one who currently was just turning my nights into lights. I needed this light more, I hated my shadows, I sure did.