My left hand automatically started caressing one of her hands. Her hands were usually a little thin, especially around her wrists. Then there were her fingers, which were slender and long. They were just beautiful and soft.
With my left hand on her hand, my right was carefully embracing the wall. I did not want to hurt it. My forehead was embracing hers.
I think I was waiting for her to just take a step, even touching me or anything similar to that. Right when her other hand caressed my jawline, as if feeling the depth of my jaw bone, I found myself crashing my lips onto hers.
Our breathing hastened as the kiss deepened. Embracing each other until the need for air made us part a little. However, the want became overwhelming and crowded. My eyes barely left her now plum lips. God!' Then I finally blazed my lips on hers again.
The breathing hastened, my kiss became more intense, and my body couldn't get enough of every part of her I touched. I wanted more than the kiss we were sharing.
One thing led to another. From the bathroom door, to me hastily taking her t-shirt off, and her unbuttoning every strip of cloth that was becoming a barrier between my body and hers.
I wanted to speak, but I didn't think I had time for that. My lips started exploring her voluptuous body. From her lips, I found her neck—the long, slender one. Her breathing hastened, and I heard a little gasp escape her mouth. 'That's her spot,' my mind memorized, as I lingered on it much longer than any other part.
She was an easy goer; she felt every spot. It was like all my touches were leaving a burning effect on her. As I realized her legs could not handle her weight, she was barely hanging on, and I helped her by lifting her into the air as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I steadily laid her on the soft mattress and followed on top of her, letting my two hands handle my weight.
Her eyes were now hazel, almost liquid and colorless. She was looking at me, and I at her. I had never seen her look this beautiful. Her skin was glowing, her lips were exploding with want. And God, her body. I could drown in it with one shove.
She let her hand caress my chest and the other rose to my neck. I closed the distance between my lips and hers. However, this time, I kissed her slowly. From her lips, I moved to her neck, listening to her pacing breaths and her desires. I didn't want her to feel overwhelmed. I just wanted this moment to feel surreal. I wanted her to remember the moment. After lingering on her neck, I let myself go down her body, embracing her with kisses. Her beautiful body was glimmering with desire. I lifted her legs and set them right, each on my shoulders. I kissed her thighs slightly, noting a small love tattoo that I had barely noticed until now. I kissed the tattoo slowly and steadily, then let my eyes linger on her preciousness. I couldn't resist my feelings any longer. My eyes became clouded with desire, as tears of want almost blurred my vision.
Our eyes met, and she too seemed to want more. Much more. I almost feared I would make this too slow, that she would lose interest or something. So I let myself taste her. She was too hot and too wet. Her oceans became much fuller as I let my tongue explore her essence and her folds. Every part of her, I wanted to feel it. To feel her, I wanted her to come in a way she had never done before. I wanted her to remember me and this day forever.
Her moans filled the room, as her hands dug deeper onto my shoulders and head, everywhere, as if seeking for more.
My own groin was hurting, it was yearning to taste her. I wanted her to also feel all of me. This time, I didn't even think about protection as I had other times. With kisses up from her preciousness, to her belly, to her cleavage, neck, and then her mouth, I steadied myself as I looked into her eyes for assurance that she really wanted it.
Slowly and steadily, with the help of my left hand, I made my way into her. The slow rhythms became a little faster, and then they became slower and harder, as I felt her walls tighten and my whole body need for release and satisfaction peak. With one last thrust, I held her tighter as my pleasure peaked and climax set in.
Our breaths played rhythmically in unison as my body fully lay on top of hers, my face buried on the side of her head. Without conscious thought, I whispered, "I love you," and then moved to her side as it hit me that I had actually said those words to her.
'I love you.' 'I love you.' The words repeated in unison in my head, and with one last thought of 'I love you,' I drifted to sleep.
Knock! Knock! Bang! Bang!
The knock on the door woke me up. Aaliyah was still sleeping, so I hurriedly got out of bed without waking her, found some shorts to wear, and headed out of the room to see who had decided to disturb us this morning.
"Yes? Who is it?" I questioned as I opened the door.
"Where is Aaliyah?" her boyfriend stormed in. I grabbed his collars before he could take another step into the apartment.
"What are you doing here?" I questioned, closing the door fully and still holding him with my left hand. "What are you doing here!" I demanded, now my eyes fully focused on him after making sure the door was fully closed.
"Where is Aaliyah?" he repeated.
"Who is it?" Aaliyah asked from behind us. She was wearing one of my lengthy black t-shirts. I don't think she had anything on underneath. Both her boyfriend and I scanned her as no one responded to her question. Thus, she cleared her throat.
"Your boyfriend!" I stated, sizing him up with my hands as I let go of my hold on him.
"Let's leave," he demanded. "I don't trust you with this man."
"Babe…" she started but stopped herself right when she looked into my eyes. Maybe she saw the look I gave her, I don't know.
"You can leave," I stated, pretending not to be hurt. I went back to my room, picked up a blue t-shirt, and put it on; to cover my bare top. My eyes lingered on the blood on the floor that had now dried up. 'What have you done now, Hayzen?' I questioned myself as I headed out to see what Aaliyah was deciding to do with her boyfriend.
"Hayzen…" her voice became soft suddenly, as she eyed me when I came out of my room.
"No, really, I'll be fine," I stated, smiling. I knew I wouldn't be fine, but anyway, he was her boyfriend, and I couldn't do anything about it. So, instead of watching her leave with him, I went outside to the balcony through the living room and started observing the San Francisco aerial view and buildings as tears began to well in my eyes.
I was feeling hurt because I just couldn't process Aaliyah leaving. It would confirm my long-held illusion that I am a man meant always to be left behind, no matter how hard I try.
"Hayzen…" Aaliyah's voice cut through my deep thoughts, and I wiped my tears before she could see them.
"Were you crying?" she questioned. I shook my head, trying to maintain my composure and masculine demeanor.
"What kind of man cries?" I questioned, laughing a little.
"Tell no one about what happened last night!" she insisted, and I raised my brows.
"Why? What happened?" I asked, despite knowing well what Aaliyah meant.
"The drinking and everything after."
"It was the alcohol." It came out as a statement, but I wanted it to be a question so Aaliyah could either say yes or no.
"The alcohol," she restated, as I looked up from the balcony to the skies, in order to cover up my emotions. Truth is; it wasn't the damned alcohol that caused all this. I had really thought that the bleeding and the talk last night had blurred the effects of the alcohol. Maybe I was wrong.
"Whatever I said, the 'I love you'..." I started, but stopped myself. I wanted to say it meant nothing. It was what the old me would have said—'It meant nothing.' But now, it seemed that guy was becoming more and more vulnerable.
"Of course…" she stated, "it was for Kate…" she concluded, and I almost choked on my saliva from what she said. But before I could even correct her, she turned and left. 'Why would she think that way?' my mind questioned. 'Why was this becoming too complicated?' it added. However, the truth was clear and real to me. This was not complicated; we were just complicating it. I felt I complicated it more when I said those words 'I love you' meant nothing.