On my way out of the hospital, I noticed Funky eyeing me, but I did not care what of use he had in looking at me. I went straight to my car, and the next thing I did after sitting down was hit the steering wheel so hard.
I was furious at myself and everything that had happened. I hated it...,
"Sir, are you okay?" the security guard knocked on my window (the driver's side). I nodded after letting it down slowly.
"It's the steering; it's having anchoring issues," I lied.
"I can help you with that," he offered.
"I will just take it to the garage, thank you," I stated as he walked off to the gate position, and I reversed the car to leave.
The ride was silent, too silent. I always had something playing on the car speakers, but today, all the songs were constantly boring. Sad songs made me feel like crying; hype music made me feel overly mad and anxious; country music made me feel old and unaccomplished. I just wanted to get home. I hoped I would not meet Aaliyah there; I was not ready for another barrage of questions about my life's mistakes. But Aaliyah questioning me was not something I hated. I seemed to just let her do it because, honestly, I think I am sometimes clumsy and I just need someone to make me align with my actions. She just made me question my actions, and try to reform my ways.
However, I knew deep down that the unfinished business between Elvis and me was particularly similar, to my situation incase I find out someone is toying with my sister. Thus, whatever Elvis had to punch and state on my face, I was ready. Very ready!
'I did like Aaliyah, I did like her. However, I don't think I was the type of man she deserved. I don't think I would give her the paradise she deserved.' These were my thoughts every time I thought about her.
In her, I saw me, the old me, and in her, I saw my younger sister.
I saw myself in her; as she portrayed the illusioned version in me. Her ambitiousness, charisma and self. She was just undeniably beautiful. She knew what to say at each amd every moment. She knew.., I mean, she was just amazing.
We might not have had enough time to spend together, due to my night shifts, and her classes; but she just let me be. She just let me be me. I did not need to be someone else when she was around. When I needed space, she just let me be, and God, all this time I had not realized this feeling of acceptance within us until now.
However, Elvis's beating was still lingering on my face. I had a late shift today. I think I will start having morning shifts so that I can spend more nights with Aaliyah, but I don't know.
Love was a constant emotion for me, especially if its focus was all through one individual. I did not seek to look around or seek answers elsewhere, and maybe this was what scared me. That Aaliyah would find me unworthy of her. That's why to this day, I have kept stepping back, stepping back like an idiot.
I haven't even bought protection; even after our disastrous sexual encounters. One of the major reasons why I am stepping back. But this is indeed intentional. I do not want—no, not want—I do not want this, us, to work. But I just seemed to somehow make decisions out of constant illusion and desire; deep down, I wish she were mine.., I will never agree to this, I know.
As of now, I am driving towards Elvis's house, where actually Aaliyah lives. I believe she is to be there. And my mind tells me it is to apologize and explain myself for everything she saw with Kate. But I know deep down, this explanation is not just an apology; it is about me not being able to live with the thought of her being away. I surely shall miss her in all possible ways.
So, I slightly park my car in the parking slot space at the side of the tarmac and enter the large building with different apartments. Elvis's apartment was fifty-one if I am not wrong, and these apartments boasted of having only marine men and women. There was no working class unless they were significant wives, husbands, or relatives. So, I took the elevator, pressed the button for the fifth floor, where his apartment was, and I directed myself straight to his apartment door. I did not have a pattern nor a key to unlock, so I just decided to wait outside for someone to come out.
Ten, twenty, thirty minutes passed by, but no one came out. So, I checked my watch, untied my tie fully, opened three buttons of my shirt, and wanted to leave. However, before I left, some wanting voices inside the apartment made me stay a little longer. It seemed Elvis had a woman. She had quite a sexy voice. Her moans kissed the air, and I am sure the person in the next apartment was either hurting himself with the sounds or overly enjoying the man's work. I was so proud of Elvis. However, it just took, I think, some seconds, and the voice was off. I think Elvis was a one-second man. I found myself laughing at the thought as I heard the door start being unlocked.
With a big grin on my face, I waited for Elvis to come out, but a brown-haired white man—a student—came out.
"Who are you?" he asked.
And out followed Aaliyah in a small white dress that hugged her tightly, exposing every inch of her perfect, medium-fit, petite body.
Saying I was happy for her would be a lie blazing on my face. The grin I once had turned into a scowl, and then some type of rage gathered within me. Aaliyah just seemed to bring out some temper in me that I don't know where it came from.
"Who are you?" I asked the same question he had asked me.
My eyes, I believe, were now bloodshot. Anger was written all over my face, and the jawline where Elvis beat me was already hurting.
"Who are you to ask me that question?" he asked, now coming face to face with me.
He was a little shorter than me, and this made me feel more masculine than I ever was.
"Aaliyah, get into my car. I'm dropping you off at school," I stated, clenching my jaw at the man. This was the part where I needed Aaliyah to just listen, or else I might beat the hell out of this man.
"Who are you to command her?" the man stated—the little boy or whatever he was.
'Did he just take Aaliyah's virginity?' Right when that thought crossed my mind, I found my right hand landing on his jawline, and he was kissing the floor, groaning as Aaliyah reached out to him. I started leaving immediately, but before the elevator could even open, Aaliyah caught my hand and gave me a hard slap, right where Elvis had knocked me, and I just winced a little.
"What is wrong with you?" she asked. I remained silent. "What is wrong with you?" she asked again.
"Aaliyah, you cannot just bring any man inside your house," I stated, not even knowing where those words were coming from.
"And what do you mean by that?"
"Aaliyah, these men will hurt you. Men are bad; they are not good people. If..." I tried to find all the reasons why she should hate men, all possible reasons.
"And where do you belong?" she asked, and I was dumbfounded.
"Can I just take you to school?" I pleaded.
"I'm not going with you," she stated.
"You are leaving with that good-for-nothing skinny dude who cannot even last for thirty seconds?" I questioned.
"Were you listening?..." she asked, as she screamed a light 'aaaahhh' scream, then headed towards where the guy was and left using the stairs.
Aaliyah had finally gotten herself a pamper of a man. I found myself entering the elevator as soon as it opened.
I needed it to go down fast.
On the ground floor, I steadily ran to see if they had left. I don't know why I was running after her. If, honestly, anyone were to ask me why, I would have no genuine reason. Maybe the only reason I would have is that she is like my sister. With me, she would never get hurt, but with another man, God knows what he would do to her.
However, as I wanted to give up and get into my car, I was met with a cold stone Elvis sitting and smoking a cigar right on top of my car's bonnet. I knew we would have a lot to discuss. So I approached him lightly.
"Isn't smoking illegal for the marines?" was my first statement.