Let us be honest what I am telling these morons is something I am pulling out of my arse! Why? I'm not entirely lying to them either, but I do need them to send their kids to my school in the hopes that they'll at least be as strong as me.
A stronger body undoubtedly helps, and although using magic requires some energy, so combining magic with melee skills should make fighting considerably simpler for the average person. My personal view on magic is, that I see it in the same way that I see the Force in StarWars; the only difference is the application. However, unless they are my students, they don't need to know about these things or the hows and whys of it.
I was talking to these phony, conceited Arsefaces when I suddenly saw in my future vision that Gramps had been beheaded and that his head was flying in a different direction. I then shoved him away as quickly as I could, before jumping back myself.
'Fuck!' I curse mentally.
The following instant, I witnessed the curse that was supposed to kill us fly by, chopping off Gramps's entire arm, though the elderly man at least made it out alive.
I have no doubt that the perpetrator is MoldyFart, that bastard, is the one who cast this curse. I don't sense him for some reason unknown to me, but I believe he is the only cunning asshole around capable of carrying out such an bitch attack.
I hear Mister Slytherin say, "I see you survived that one, Heir Prince. How very interesting," in a lighthearted tone. Just as I had anticipated!
"A bastard he is," Yoda would utter at this point, assuming the little green Gandalf does use foul language.
To say that I am furious when I turn to face the bastard in question would be an understatement. Like a child playing jungler who has been camped and counter-camped by Shaco for twenty minutes, I am a seething ball of rage about to punch my screen.
"Well, Tommy, it appears that you have abandoned all decent behavior. Tell me what is it you find so very interesting.", and for the first time this evening, I see his stupid ass grin vanish as I show him that I know who he is.
"Well, I don't have the whole picture just yet, but I do know that you have some sort of future vision, which you can use to your advantage in battle thanks to your heavily enhanced physique. I have to admit, I'm quite ignorant about how you accomplished that. If I didn't have to kill you, I would really like to discuss rituals with you. You see, some years ago I attempted a similar thing to myself, but it did not turn out as I had hoped. Additionally, you already know who you are dealing with, so one more reason why you cannot be allowed to live." His lips turn to an evil smirk when he says the last part.
"Yes, I know I am dealing with a dirty half-blood prancing around telling everyone how he is the next coming of Merlin, a mongrel who loves to brand his pure blooded followers like cattle, an idiot whose grand plan for immortality was something he found in some dubious book instead of figuring it out himself, and finally, a bastard who is about to get his ass kicked." I say this as calmly as I am able to right now.
He waves his eerie ass wand around and says, "Heir Prince, I thought we were beyond throwing out petty and pointless insults, but it seems your feelings for your family are hindering you from seeing the bigger picture."
Some of his supporters appear to be slightly taken aback by the revelations, but these people are effectively owned bitch slaves because they have already been branded, so it won't help them to discover the truth about who their lord really is.
"Oh, wise and almighty dark lord do explain the bigger picture you see." I respond, sarcasm seeping through my voice.
"I hear the sarcasm, but I will entertain you anyway before you die. See it, as me being a benevolent Lord," he says with an amused tone before going on, "This world is far more complicated than a child like you would know," continues Moldy.
"Is it now?" I question him.
"Thanks to Dumbledore and Grindelwald, we Wixen are headed towards self-destruction, but my supporters and I want to reverse that. We will be saving our kind from its self-imposed chains."
"Oh wow! How incredible noble of you, but let me reiterate, okay?! So you want to militarize not only these idiots!" Before continuing, I gesture to his supporters and say, "But all of their offspring as well, and then what? Send them to beat up their own kind, and their kids next into a battle against the rest of the world? How wonderful it will be to be fight and be killed for your noble cause! All the while our immortal master will be the last person alive, and be able to rule over all of our offspring as Wixenkind's supreme Godking for all of eternity!"
"You talk too much for your own good." When he observes that some of his supporters are glancing at him oddly, he says through gritted teeth.
"Did I now? It's not like anyone can silence me, so who cares? It's not like I've been lying, unlike you, but I beg your pardon for my rant! " I say while I shrug my shoulders.
"Just a naive boy that is depending on his little bit of talent to challenge me, Lord Voldemort." He yells, and I notice that a lot of failed cumstains have already started donning their goofy ass masks.
The most fucked up thing that makes me angry 'bout my current circumstances is that my teammates seem to be autofilled trolls, exactly like in my previous life when I was hard stuck in bronze! Meanwhile my enemies are just a bunch of smurfs who get raped in their own elo and come to mine to vent.
Fucking dimwits, get a life if you suck, and do not come to my elo to get a blowjob for your broken egos!!!!
I have the same idiots who die about fifteen times in seven minutes, and I can't do nothing about it.
I forgot a very important fact about my situation, one that I did not consider earlier in my, well, stupid ass anger induced state.
People either fight either because of profit, idealism, or necessity, but these people just do not want to fight, and so I have a crew that will sell me out to get away.
This is an excellent illustration of a 1v9 match, and I have chosen to troll rather than insta lock Master Yi, and win the game. But I'm not going to give this little shit the satisfaction he expects to get from me.
"So, I those Soul fragments I sold to a demon belonged to you? I do wonder what he is doing right now to those pieces of your torn soul." I smile and begin to take out my own mask. Before I put it on, I speak as though I'm thinking, "Maybe he's shoving your soul up his ass, or maybe fucking you in the ass right now! Well, metaphysically. Anyway, please let me know if you find out after you pass away and return as a cheap knock-off ghost."
"Haha. How very funny you are, heir Prince. Just because you're able to see the future do you think you'll get out of here alive?" He asks, and before I can respond, someone starts casting curses at me. Moldy, in the meantime, just steps back and continues to observe.
I begin to dodge and get out of the way of every curse they throw at me. But then I am forced to instead of simply dodging their curses, start blocking and deflecting them! Why? Because when these fugly ass faces realize they can't hit me, they started instead to aim for Gramps.
"Brat, just leave me behind and run."Eventually, I hear the old man say.
"Yeah, fuck you too, old man. Like for real, the one time I need your help in a fight, you go and start being a baggage." I reply with a fake grin on my face.
*Laugh*
It's probably time for the Big Bad Wolf to show up, but I don't want to show these bastards who I really am, or rather what I am.
With a wave of my left hand, I conjure up countless illusionary images of myself running in various directions and dodging jinxes and cuses left and right, all the while yelling derogatory remarks at their attackers.
"Your cock is so small your wife thinks it is a clit!"
"Your tits sag!"
"What the fuck kind of bitch are you? Bitch, insulting you even makes me feel sorry for your ancestors."
"Oh my fucking god, you are the reason abortion is a thing."
"Not even Faker can carry you bastards."
Do they know who faker is? Most certainly not, but I will throw it at them anyway.
"You know what?"
"What?" Finally, someone replies.
"I will kick you in the balls."
*Cry of Pain*
"You're an even worse duelist than that bitch Lucius."
"Why the fuck won't you just shut up and die." One more of them snaps, and instead of cursing me, begins to shout back.
"You bitch, screw you! I'll fuck your wife before I die." I yell back at him.
"Go on fuck that ugly ass slut! She is fugly as fuck anyway!" Another guy shouts, but before I can reply I see the guy explode into Kingdom come.
"Who are you calling a slut?" A very angry and ugly woman shouts, and I assume she is the slut in question.
"I suppose he wasn't talking about you, beautiful." I say this, or rather one of my illusions says it.
"Are you blind?" exclaims a short king, and I witness the same ugly woman curse him.
'Rest in peace, my enemy!' I think with an evil smirk.
"Well, aren't you a charmer?" She chuckles a little and then launches an oversized Bombarda towards me. But it just passes through the illusion, and kills some NPC's behind the illusion of lil ol' me.
She chuckles a little and then launches an oversized Bombarda towards me.
After giving her a furious glance, I remain silent.
"Well, you can't fault a gal for trying." With a fat smile on her face, she says.
"I can and I will!" I laugh back, then give her a back-of-the-head punch that sends her face flying into the ground.
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Finally, I hear MoldyFart comment, "This is getting boring to watch," as I'm wreaking havoc.
And then the whole hall erupts in green flames, and I feel like. 'motherfucker is going Grindelwald on my ass.'
He menacingly says, "Heir Prince, it was most certainly a displeasure to make your acquaintance."
"Same," I say defiantly. Then, I witness him wave his hand as all the flames come alive and spread past everyone, with him at the center. Everything in the hall that comes into contact with the flames either catches fire and disintegrates, or simply does not; some people try to flee, while others stand by and watch as the flames get closer to them, and simply moves past them.
For the first time in a very long time, I am struggling to find a solution and can only barely contain the flames. Anyone who is not wearing a mask and hasn't caught fire yet is standing behind me. I'm squeezing the flames away with my magic, but this crap is getting us nowhere.
I need a solution, but I cannot find anything! HELL, I don't even know where that fucker is taking all this power from.
'Motherfucker! This is not the level he had in the shows!' I think extremely shocked, and for the first time in a long time, I feel fear.
I now understand why Gaydore chose to the Potters under the bus rather than challenge this motherfucker to a duel.
I committed a grave mistake. These are two distinct types of villains: the Moldyfart of today and the Moldyfart of tomorrow. This current one has undergone numerous rituals, but more importantly, he hasn't torn apart his soul or lost a significant portion of it. He also hasn't lost his body. Because his soul anchors are still intact rather than destroyed, I assume he is somewhat stronger as well.
"Fuck!" I silently swear to myself and then exhale an exhausted sigh.
*Sigh*
"Severus, you need to escape!" I hear gramps speaking up at this moment.
"No way, I will run and leave you behind." I say, not bothering to look the man in the eye.
"Shut the fuck up, you little bitch ass Twerp, and listen to me! You have your entire life ahead of you, and this is most likely the first time I can do anything for you, son. I am old, I have lived my life, and when I pass away, I will be joining your grandmother." he says and looks me dead in the eyes.
"But..." I try to say.
"Yeah, I'm a butt man too. They're definitely nicer to look at than some saggy tits! Now, I'll give you an opening, and you and the others try to get out of here—hopefully alive. Live and fight him another day!" he says. I look at the man and see that he doesn't want to give up, but he knows as well as I do that the situation is grim.
'Should I transform and go after his ass? But I don't know what else the bastard can do! He shouldn't even be able to do this much based on what I know from the show and books,' I think, annoyed.
"Come out and face your betters, Prince!" I hear Voldemort's voice. He sounds way too smug.
"Sev, be sure to fuck him up when you go at him for a rematch!" Gramps says. Suddenly, he explodes with magic, burning his life force.
"I will," I manage to croak out. Then I turn around and dash towards a window. Curses fly at me, but I dodge them left and right.
"My betters? Haha, this is the funniest shit I've heard in a long while! Listen up, you fucking wannabe Dark Lord. I've faced a real Dark Lord, and you have nothing on him—neither the aura nor the charisma!" I hear Gramps speaking up. I try not to cry as I run.
The next thing I feel is vibrating magic as the two start going at each other. I know Gramps will most certainly die during this, but the old man is releasing magic that is outright frightening.
I think Voldemort will not come out of this duel unscathed.
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