I have never been self-conscious. Ok, that wasn't completely true. In my years of secondary school, I was self-conscious about my slime figure, feminine features and lack of muscle but I changed. Now stood a man who had everything for himself. In appearance alone, I had nothing to worry about yet, I was worried. Worried till the point of not finding myself attractive.
Standing in front of a full length mirror, already dressed for my wedding in a white suit. Every detail of my face were display in front of me. The wrinkles by the side of my eyes, the freckles disposed scarcely on my face, the tiredness of my face, at least my skin was perfect. What makes me anxious though was my long blonde hair. They had been style with a braid on one side, and had it fall on my left shoulder. I was handsome, despite my imperfections, but the reaction of Eva was worrying me.
Would she found me handsome? She hates my long hair and used to call me princess for that. I look nothing like a princes though. In the past may be because of my soft facial feature who could be took as female but now, I looked nothing alike. May be I should have cut it, what if she frown in disgust? My thought was all over the place.
"I never belief in miracle but now, I do. With these two getting married, everything is possible. Like me marrying the younger Farewell," I heard my friend David say.
We were four in my dressing room, David, Luke, Zach and I. Zach was beside me, adjusting his white and purple suit while the rest were sitting on the sofa at the back of the room, already dressed up. David and Luke entered our little group of three in college. They don't reside in the country, which made it difficult for us to see each other anymore now that Zach and I was back home. They came for the wedding and were my groomsmen, paired with Melissa.
"In your dream. She is way too hot for you," Luke replied sitting beside David on the sofa.
Since David met Elsa, a couple of years back, he was all over her but the latter showed no interest in him. It appears she didn't get over her crush on me after all these years but whom was I to judge? Me, who was in love with the same person since I was a child.
"To me, it's nothing like a miracle. Miracle are supposed to be good but this two getting married, don't know what to think about it," he added leaning in his seat. His face facing the ceiling, legs crossed, arms folded.
"Klaus Briar is tying the knot with Eva farewell. Two thing he hated two weeks ago," David stated.
For all the person who knows me, I hate marriage and commitment. I have never been in any serious relationship and always said I would never get married but what they didn't know was that I did never get married if was not Eva, the person I was getting married to. Apart for Zach and Mellissa, no one else knew about my love for Eva. All belief in my act of hating her.
"You guys are like the couple at the end of the story which make no sense," he added.
"More like the couple everyone want together because of their rivalry," Luke retorted.
They never had a personal interaction with Eva but they knew we can't stand each other. I think they met her one in my presence but I wasn't sure. For the time which passed I only met Eva a rare full of time. It was a public secret like Eva said. They should know about our relationship from other because, myself never really talk about her. Besides, it wasn't that hard to guess with how we interact with each other.
I left them to their conversation and focus back on myself and my beating heart. As if would get out of my ribcage.
"Are you nervous?" Zach asked a hand on my shoulder. I shook my head staring at our reflection in the mirror. His short, black hair contrasted with my blond and long hairs. Standing beside each other, we looked nothing alike but he was my brother.
I wasn't nervous, I was panicking. I didn't want to say too much with the other two present. It wasn't a lack of trust but I trust no one except Zach with my feeling for Eva.
"It will start in a couple of minute. We should go," Luke said standing up. David joined him. They gave us a look, waiting for us.
Zach shook his head, "can you give us a minutes?" he asked. They nodded and left the room. Once their footsteps wasn't heard anymore, Zach turned to me and asked once again,
"Are you nervous?"
"Nervous is an understatement. I'm panicking right now. Do you think I should have cut my hair and what if she doesn't come in the end?" I expressed my worries, pacing in the room.
"What won't she come?"
"She realised those benefit was nothing in comparison of getting married to the person you hate. She realised her error of proposing and have no intention to come?" left out all what has being bothering me.
Zach sighed, I assume already tired of my asking the same question again and again but I couldn't help it. I would stop went those document would hold our names.
"She will come, so calm down," he grabbed me by my shoulders. Having me stop pacing and was now facing him. I could look straight in his eye thank to the lack of height difference between us.
"Why are you so sure?"
"I saw Alicia and Noah in hallway some time ago. Which mean Eva is here," he explained.
His words comforted me as I breathe out. She was here, I told myself to calm my nerves.
"Are you happy?" he asked.
His gaze fixed on me as if wanting to know if I would lie about it. Him, as well wasn't all for this marriage but support me any way. Zach was always biased when it comes to Eva and even lack objectiveness for everything that concern her. Seeing him not taking her party and following what she wants like always but was instead taking my best interest in heart was the best thing to happen. He valued me as much as he does of her. He would protect me, even if it was against Eva.
"I'm getting married to the love of my life. I will be more if I wasn't picturing her practicing her best fake smile in front of her mirror to go through this day who was supposed to be the happiest of her life,"
"But can you really blame her?" I shook my head.
"She hates me and must fake smile but soon I will transform that in a real one," I declared.
"Confident much," he smiled. Getting his hands off my shoulders.
"Confidence is the key," I said taking a final look of myself.
The door opened and Melissa came in the view, "the ceremony will start," she said standing at the door way. Zach and I shared a look before we were off to the church.
The dressing room we were in was the church dependence for the bride and the groom to get ready. Getting out, my eyes roamed around, in hope of having a glimpse of Eva but I saw no one. We left the dependence and went to the church. It was only a couple of step away from it. We entered through the back door. The church was already full when we arrived. We joined David and Luke at the altar. The church was decorated in a simple way. Nothing complicated. The colour was a mixture of white, light blue and purple.
I stood at the altar, with my friends lining behind me. They were six, to my four friends added my two cousins. Elsa was sitting at the front with a neutral expression on her face. It was supposed to be us getting married. I was so grateful I ended up being with Eva instead, but even if she never proposed I would have never accept marrying Elsa. Her mother was sitting beside her, a more unhappy face than that would be hard to achieve. She was visibly not happy with the marriage and wasn't trying to hide her disapproval.
My gaze met with Elsa's and I pulled her a smile which she mimicked back. It came to no surprise that she was not one of Eva's bridesmaid even though my mother propose it to Eva, since she judge only having three people on your side weren't enough but Eva declined. Melissa was also rejected by Eva to stand by her side on this day. Her two bridesmaid was Alicia and a woman know as Abigail. Noah was her maid in honor.
My eyes shifted from the people to the clock on the center wall just below of the cross. It was already time for the bride to arrive and she was taking her sweet time. I was starting to panic when the music started and the door open.
The girl, Abigail, walked in, throwing out flowers. Followed by Eva and her father and by the end Alicia. My eyes was all over Eva. She was studding with her shoulder off wedding dress exposing her perfect chocolate skin who was hide by the veil. The big bouquet in her hands brought a touch of colour on her white dressed. It was a combination of white, purple and blue flowers, with her nail paints matching the all. We only were wearing blue. It was scarcely put in the decoration in the room but only the bride and groom had blue on them. Mine was the blue bouquet of flower in my pocket and hers was in her accessories.
I couldn't guess if she was smiling due to the veil covering her face. What I notice though was how tight she was holding her bouquet of flower. Was it because she was nervous or was it out of anger? I tried my best to keep my poker face on so not to smile like a fool. I'm not supposed to be happy about all this. I remained as neutral as I could while watching her walking to me to become mine.
They finally arrive near me and her father passed her to me with no words and a simple smile on his face. No one of the Farewell seem to be happy about this marriage. Including the bride.
Eva intertwine our arms as we stood in front of the priest. Her hold on me was tight, maybe too tight and which made me to worry about her. I wasn't given the chance to interrogate her as the priest started out the ceremony.
I heard none of his words, all I could focus on was Eva side pressing against mine and the warm of her body on mine. Her subtle scent coming over me. The moment to exchange the ring came. Noah came forward with the rings. He gave me a smile, I frowned. He winked, I ignored him.
"Klaus Briar, do you take Eva Farewell as your lawful wife, to have and hold hand, from this say forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poor, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" The priest finally asked what I wanted to hear.
"I do," I said.
"Eva Farewell, do you take Klaus Briar as your lawful husband, to have and hold hand, from this say forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poor, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" My heart stopped, waiting for her to answer.
"I do,"
"By the virtue of the authority vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,"
I didn't wait to be told twice. I lifted up the seal on her face and I finally got to see the beauty she was. Unlike her usual light make up preference, on this day, they heard nothing of it and didn't hesitated on the makeup. It wasn't heavy but after being used to her almost bare face, it was shocker. She was gorgeous. With or without makeup.
I paused for a moment, admiring before I leaned in for the kiss. When our lips met, it was an explosion of joy. It felt like I always imagine it. No! better. I took it slow and gentle at first taking my sweet time tasting her, I didn't know when I would get again another opportunity to kiss her. I was about to deep it when she pulled away. I frowned at the loss of her lips.
"What are you doing?" she asked in a low voice only I could hear.
Her question brought back my sense and made me conscious of my act. I shouldn't have kissed her like I did, lucky for me, she pulled away. I would have commit a big mistake.
"Was trying to be a man in love with his wife like you asked," I said to cover up my mistake.
She gave me a look and said nothing. We turned and was greeted by an applause. We held hands and greeted them with the best of our smile.
Faking smile was so tiring. No, my smile or happiness for this marriage was genuine. I was talking about the smile I had to put on as people came to us with their congratulation and fake smiles. I had to put on with the act.
My smile fell seeing Noah and Alicia approaching us. Realising that, I was fast to put it back on. With only a nod in my direction, they two gave their full attention to Eva. Ignoring me, nothing surprising. It pointed out how true I was about her feeling for this marriage and me. Even though I knew better than hoping, I couldn't help but hoped in some kind of way she was happy about this marriage.
"Congratulation, you did it love!" he said pulling Eva in a hug.
Love! How dare he call what was mine that and even hug her when I never got the opportunity to do so. Oh, I hates this man.
"I'm just happy it's finally over," she said in a low voice after breaking the hug. Alicia stroke her arm with a comforting smile on her face.
'Don't be so dramatic, it's not like she has just signed her sentence for death' I rolled my eyes but that thought soon left my mind noticing that Noah had not let go of her but was having their arm intertwine. I couldn't take it anymore.
"I think we should head to the banquet," I said my eyes only on Eva. They didn't find it important to greet me so why would I acknowledge their presence?
"But we should be the last to arrive," she said looking around. The church was still full of people taking their sweet time. She was right but I wanted her away from Noah as possible even if it's just for a moment.
"Yes but I'm tired of being around people," I told her the half-truth. We could stay in the car waiting for the time for us to make our presence known.
She nodded in understanding before gripping on to Noah arms more tightly. It took every strength in me to shift my eyes on their intertwine arms and play a nonchalant look on my face at her action.
"Wait for me. I won't be long," she said pulling Noah along with her.
I gave Alicia a look, silently asking where they were going but she just shrugged and said nothing. We stood in an awkward silence which was soon broke by Zach and Melissa arrival. To my relief.
"You are married now man," Zach said with a light punch on my side.
Yeah, I was married.