Chapter 16: Empty Promises
The sun was rising and warmed the Phoenix streets. Ariel came out of the sliding door to interrupt the never-ending conversation between me, Jocelyn and Kiera.
"Hey Joss, you mind working today? Short shift, 9 to 11? Fucking Darqueese called in, said he was sick. I'm gonna fire him. I'll be there too, probably until 5…"
"Fuck it, I don't mind," Jocelyn said, standing about and patting her thighs clean of nothing.
The idea of the world beginning to flow again just because the sun demanded it was infuriating. I wanted to stay in this group huddle forever, but life had to continue. I had theater practice to attend anyway.
I was still in awe of how powerful the speed was. With yayo, the come-down occurred after roughly 6-8 hours. Molly was about 12 but had an after-glow that lasted the rest of the day. But jib? Fuck, I was still going and going!
Gordo lended me a used pipe with a fat glob of melted speed inside of it, along with a spare torch lighter. A torch was not required, but it helped to get a good hit and to not burn the product. On the way to work, Jocelyn dropped me off at my place.
I took a shower and scrubbed away the bugs… I didn't miss a single inch of flesh, making red lines all over my body. I trimmed my nails, plucked my eyebrows, popped some pimples, applied copious amounts of cologne… I never took so much pride in self care before.
On my way out the bathroom I spotted Stormy. She looked at me with a resentful shake of her head then shut the door to her room. I thought she was overreacting, as usual… She'll get over it.
I knocked on Stormy's door. She cracked it open like I was a stranger.
"Hey, can we talk?"
"I need to get ready for theater…"
"Me too, but this is important. Please?" I never pleaded like this with Stormy. She sighed and opened the door. I loved the design of her room: neon mushroom lamps and not much furniture since she liked to sit on her psychedelic rug. The blanket of her bed was a tie-dye pattern. She's still the same girl I knew in high school.
She sat on her bed and gave me her attention. On her nightstand was a cup of coffee with steam rising from it. It reminded me of jib smoke, then I remembered the glass pipe in my pocket… I covered it with my palm.
"I'm sorry about Jocelyn. I know I've been fucking up lately. But seriously, I promise to be around more often. Remember, we said we'd practice in the living room?"
"You said you'd help me unpack, too. But I did it all by myself…" Stormy took a sip from her coffee, holding it there like she was trying to hide her face from me.
"Will you give me another chance?"
She looked out the window toward the backyard. "Okay, Kashi." She looked at me with a smile, but her eyes seemed sad.
"Thank you, Stormy." I hastily left her room and shut the door behind me.
I went to my room and looked at the time. Stormy would be giving me a ride to the chapel. I made a cubby in my closet of cardboard boxes and hid my meth pipe inside one of them, hoping the clothes would protect it from any possible impact…
Just a hit wouldn't be bad, right? I pulled out my phone and played some music at full volume, turned on the ceiling fan and stuffed my blanket in the crack of the door. All of that just to conceal the sound of my torch lighter, even though I was free to smoke weed inside of the house, I wanted to cover all my tracks… It was like an all-seeing-eye was hovering above my skull, looking down at me, telling me to be careful, do this, don't do that… Understood, roger that! Moving!
I squatted in the closet and sparked the torch. Steady flame, but it was almost out of juice. I hovered the glass bowl above the flame and twisted it until the solidified glob of jib melted and stirred side-to-side. I took a decent rip and was proud of myself for being able to do it without any help! I made up my mind, a new goal to acquire: perfect my technique to get those dragon clouds like Jocelyn, Gordo and Ariel. I couldn't be the only one who was incapable of it.
Come to think about it, I wonder what she's doing… The world around me disappeared as a full-scale image of Kiera popped in my mind. I was startled—no, repulsed! Why am I thinking of her? I'm devoted to Jocelyn… I battled my own conscience until I heard a knock on my door.
"Kashi? Are you ready?"
"Yeah! Just a sec!" I stuffed the pipe into the box and opened the door, forgetting all about that nasty smell of jib I just soaked my room with…
"What's the smell?"
"Oh, nothing," I shut the door.
At the Chapel I put on my best 'sober face'. When I got on stage to perform, I let it rip… I never performed so well. My stage movements were crusty and I tripped over a few lines, but my delivery was that of a professional opera singer. I projected so loud that I could feel the reverb bouncing off the walls and hitting me in the face.
The director gave me props, but not as much as I thought I deserved. Stormy gave me the praise I was looking for. She's such a good friend. Our relationship deepened and hope lingered above us both.
I studied the script for 3 hours before I had to clock-in for the night shift. Those 3 hours felt like 10 minutes. Go fast. Can't stop, won't stop…
Ariel and Jocelyn were gone by the time I got there. Seems like they figured things out because the store was clean. Usually when a coworker calls-in we have to pick up the slack and the store is wrecked. Sarah, Isaiah and I would be the night crew. By the time the shift ended, I was dying inside. Jocelyn was a trooper and was waiting for me outside without me needing to ask. We drove back to Ariel's house and slept for 18 hours in the guest bedroom. Ariel was nice enough to give us a few days off, knowing just how much we desperately needed it.
When I woke up I felt like a walking corpse. The sunlight hit me in the face like a truck. My shoulders hunched forward and I dragged my feet, searching for water in the kitchen…
Above all, my brain felt fried. Everything was depressing. It was like all my loved-ones died simultaneously in a car accident. Jocelyn felt the same way. We knew it probably wasn't the best idea, but we decided to take a much-needed morning hit. Wake and bake, as the stoners call it. We weakly debated the pros and cons of it, but this was just for show. Our souls were screaming at us to shut the fuck up and take a hit… It was a carnal desire, a scary feeling of being overtaken…
The first hit of the day was always the best hit, like shaking off the cobwebs and finally, the sunshine filled our souls. Blood began to flow into our muscles. Our sore dopamine receptors were forced to work overtime. I clenched my jaw and felt a pain shoot straight to my brain. The right side of my chin was slightly puffy from constantly clenching and trying to pop my jaw. Just to speak I needed to make an effort not to open my mouth too wide. My mouth was raw…
"I need to brush my teeth," Jocelyn said and turned her neck at me, ordering me to follow along. Someone was in the guest bathroom. Kiera? The kids? No, they must be at school. Luckily, there were two bathrooms. The main one was directly across from Gordo and Ariel's bedroom. Their bedroom door was cracked. Jocelyn peeked her head inside and asked permission.
The bathroom was massive. It had a tub, a standing shower surrounded in glass, 4 sinks along the wall and enough counter space to sleep on. An entire wall consisted of mirrors up to the ceiling. You could literally do sprints back and forth with how much space there was…
This was Ariel's favorite room and I could see why. The light switch had several different colored buttons. Jocelyn chose the blue one, and the room filled with a sky-blue light that made her look like a mermaid underwater.
Me and Jocelyn cleaned our gack mouths full of dry saliva and decaying flesh. We spit out multiple globs of blood.
We spent more time than we intended, primarily staring in the mirror. Jocelyn took her top off, analyzing her body. I did the same, flexing my muscles. We both looked five pounds lighter already. She slid her fingertips across her thighs, up her stomach and traced the gaps between her rib bones. She looked to be in a trance, forgetting I was there altogether. I drooled at her reflection. She walked up to the mirror and kissed herself like a passionate lover, staring into her own eyes…
The concept of time entered both our minds, like it was an entity speaking directly to us. We put our shirts back on and left the bathroom.