I got my answer.
Why did they do all this to me?
Because they liked playing with me.
I was a little thing, their little plaything.
A five year old plaything that they could destroy and recreate and destroy how many ever times they wanted to.
I meant nothing to them and I finally got to know that.
I thought one day they would hug me again like they did on the first day they adopted me, but I should have known because even then their hug did not feel warm, but it was my happy moment.
I made a mistake though, I should have known and trusted my own instincts and my own feelings.
"Don't you dare run away, if I catch you I won't be nice"
"Is it time for your punishment?"
"You don't get to eat today"
"Did u lie to me"
"Don't you dare cry, it's disgusting"
Why am I hearing all this? I can't open my eyes though, I can't move.
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Ah, I can open my eyes but when I did, it was all just black around me, pitch black, black like i've never seen anything quite alike, but it was peaceful, the noises had stopped, I was scared, of course the darkness scared me but yet it felt safe and peaceful and quiet.
I liked it.
'splash' cold water was splashed onto my face and I was back, back here, the house, not mine, no I wouldn't call it mine, it isn't mine never will be, not that I mind, I don't need this house and its people to be mine, I liked the black void better, it was safe, no one hurt me there.
"She's awake" says Miss, to which Sir walks in the room.
This room, I know this room, it's the room that is locked in the basement, the one I was never allowed to go to, it has to be it, I once peeped inside through the lock hole, but it was dark then and now but a different kind of dark now, there was one bulb in the room that illuminated a bit of light, just enough to see the faces of my tormentors.
"Ah yes, we almost got bored to sleep before you decided to wake up, did you have a good nap, shall we start your punishment" said Sir with something in his mouth, I don't know the name of, he never let me touch it either, not that he ever let me get close to him, smoke would come out of it, he would always end up coughing after a while but he still kept that stick in his mouth everyday, even Miss though not all the time, sometimes.
Wait did he say punishment, right that was why I had passed out? Oh no I did not like punishments.
They hurt a lot and they wouldn't stop even when I begged and cried.
I only got it twice, once when I had tried to escape doing my chores and one more time when I told about them to Mrs Rose, she had asked me some questions and I ended up blurting out some things they did to me but when she confronted them they made up a lie and I got punished later.
This was the third time.
I was hoping she would believe me but I was also honestly expecting her to believe them considering that outside they looked like your average innocent probably-cannot-even-hurt-a-fly.
Very deceiving.
"No, No please I did not do anything". "Oh but you did" Miss says. "You lied" Sir says.
"I-I did not"
"Yes you did, you ate that piece of bread and then you decided to lie to my face" Miss says slapping me hard enough to make me fall on my back a few meters away from her, by the time I could register everything I'm being grabbed by the hair and made to sit on a chair.
"Now you will take your punishment like a good little girl, okay" Sir says waiting for my response. "Okay" Miss snarls in my face. "O-okay" "Good"
He takes out a belt first and before my eyes bulge out, I'm dragged off the chair and laid on my back. What is with all the dragging onto something and then off something.
"Count to ten girl or I'll make it twice the time" by the time I had counted to seven I couldn't take it anymore but as I said ten, I felt like I was gonna pass out.
The thing is even though I actually do well with pain and can last for a lot of time, they would hit me once and then wait for the sting to register before hitting me again, now that hurts a lot.
Cold water is splashed onto my back that wakes me up screaming because of the burn and the numbness residing slowly.
Next he brings out the whip and the blindfold. This is a game to them.
Miss blindfolds me so I can't see anything and a whip is handed over to her as well.
They make me walk around while they make noises, if I get away from one side I get whipped from the other side, they could hit me anywhere on my back, my leg, my arms, my back the same place where it still burns with the belt marks but somehow they never hurt my face, never.
When you keep running away from one side to another in what feels like darkness where you can only hear giggles and whip sounds you forget to make sense of any side and you become scared to move and end up standing still due to which two whips land on me at the same time, that makes me run to another side where I still get hit. I start thinking there's more than just two people here.
I can't breathe anymore and I pass out.
"Cold water is not working huh, she isn't awake, well maybe she's had enough Cole". "Ugh so fast, I didn't even start the real fun yet". "That's so mean of you Cole" Miss says giggling to which he giggles and both of them are walking away from me.
The cold water did wake me up which is not a good thing but I pretended to still be passed out.
I didn't have any energy to move any part of my body anyways so it was easy to just lay still as a corpse and keep my eyes shut listening till they went away but even when I was sure they were far away, I couldn't move so I let sleep drift me away. Funny how you can't sleep when you're in physical pain but you're also too tired to even move so you just lay there hurting and eventually drift into sleep.
When I woke up again, I still couldn't move. Nothing was hurting now but I knew if I even did as much as take a deep breath everything would hurt.
I was scared of breathing.
I slowly peeled open my eyes and looked around, after mustering all my energy I tried to get up but I fell down on my knees with a thud, but did not dare make a sound biting onto my own arm hard till I started bleeding just a little.
I got up again and when I knew I was stable on my feet now, I walked towards the door.
But it was locked.
No, are they planning to come back? I did not want anymore, I can't take anymore, maybe I would die if they hit me again, maybe that's for the best.
Maybe death is for the best.