Parenting.
It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say it's an art, but one that is difficult and exhausting. In order to raise their children, they have to act righteous, strong, mannered even if they're not while hiding their own incompetency, struggles, bad habits and the filth that this society has to offer.
But even after doing all that, will the children they raise get those good qualities from them, probably or probably not? They can't be sure of the result, but if there's anything they can be sure of, that is that the good habits they try to showcase all the time might fail to be noticed but the bad things they even subconsciously do will get ingrained in the child's mind.
Then what can one do? Be strict?
'Strict parents create sneaky children '
One may think by being strict they can stop their children from going into disarray, but the reality begs to differ. Only by finding a balance between being strict and lenient can one truly discipline one's children. When you force them to behave a certain way, they will act like that in front of you and find a way to do their own bidding in secret.
Surely all kids do that. But the stricter the parents are, sneakier the kids will become.
That's exactly the case with Edwin and his parents. Their paranoia about his well-being and their already cracked personality made them stricter. And when they find out that he can't abide by that, they get angry. They expressed their discontent by being even stricter. Only to make things worse.
A random night in Edwin's life where his parents were fighting again. He is now about 8 years old.
Every time his parents fought, the young Edwin couldn't help but cry, hoping it would atleast turn their attention away from their fight. But all he got in reply was shouting for him to stop.
"For god sake Edwin, can you shut it down for a while?" Mark shouted.
"What are you even crying for? If anything, the one who should be crying is me, not you who's the reason for our fight." Cried Maya trying to shift the blame because of her denial to accept her mistake.
"WHAT?? YOU'RE NOW BLAMING THE CHILD FOR OUR PROBLEMS???" bellowed Mark.
"That's right. It's because of him. If he hadn't been born, I wouldn't have been going through all this. I would've been happier. Just what are you looking at? Just go and disappear already!!!" Screamed Maya.
"SHUT YOUR FILTHY MOUTH!!!. Edwin, don't listen to your mother. She's just stressed out and blabbering about things she doesn't mean. Go back to bed. It'll all be solved when you wake up." Mark tried to console Edwin who, already broke down crying.
Edwin dashed to his bed weeping and his breathing rough. He couldn't accept his mother's words nor comprehend her desperation. For a while there were sounds of screaming and arguing. Edwin was terrified and started trembling. When he recalled his father's words about how it would be resolved when he woke up in the morning and his mother's words asking him to disappear, he cried even more.
'I truly do not want to wake up , I wish I could just disappear...'
He wished to disappear because he wasn't even aware of the concept of death at that point of time. That night, Edwin cried himself to sleep, wishing for someone to comfort and rescue him from the pain he was feeling in his heart.
Next morning, when he woke up, his eyes were red and puffy from crying. He rubbed his eyes while looking around. He found his mother by his bedside sitting while watching him.
Maya's eyes are bloodshot, she hadn't slept a wink the entire night. After the fight was over, she recalled what she said to her child. She couldn't help but curse herself. She wished she could go back in time and slap her face until it changed color to purple for saying such stuff to Edwin.
But alas, there's no way for her to do that but to face it head on. She looked at Edwin, who looked at her in fear. When she tried moving her hand, he visibly shuddered. Maya's heart clenched at that sight.
She broke down crying, hugging her son tightly, screaming.
"Sorry... sorry..."
She repeated that over a dozen times. She wanted to explain to him that she didn't mean any of those words and that he's her world ,the light that kept her moving forward in her life. But none of those words came out as she cried her eyes out.
There was a man sitting on the sofa in the living room reading the newspaper... no, pretending to read the newspaper which is upside down, while keenly eavesdropping on what was being exchanged in Edwin's room.
After about half an hour, Maya managed to make up with her son. Though she's aware of, it wouldn't make him forget what happened. At least she would try to make it up in the future by being a better mother to him.
After that, the mother and son went outside the room to get ready. Mark, upon seeing them, tried to make a joke, trying to lighten up the mood.
"Hey! See, is it one of your relatives' photos that appeared in the newspaper?" Mark showed a page of newspaper with an ad for dog food to Maya with a smug smile.
Maya, who's a veteran at dealing with his 'funny' jokes, exclaimed.
"Ah! Come on, how could I not know my mother-in-law?"
"...." (Mark)
"....pft... Haha" (Edwin)
"Haha" (Maya)
"Tsk"
Mark clicked his tongue in annoyance over this pair of mother and son who joined hands to deal with his well prepared joke.
'I should've told her straight up that her father's photo is in the newspaper '
Mark thought to himself knowing well that saying it out loud would cause him to join his father-in-law in hell.
Then the family started their routine of getting ready for their appointments for the day as if nothing happened.
Unbeknownst to them, this night's incident lead to the first step Edwin took towards his mentality change. That is 'Self evaluation' .
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Hello,
It's my first time writing a web novel and English is not my native language.
Please provide your feedback in comments,
So that I can rectify or improve my writing.
Thank you for reading and have a nice day!