Disclaimer: I don't own Highschool DxD.
Lies Get Tossed and Truth Is Spoken
"And you are saying this would only activate whenever another of the defenses triggers?" Yasaka asked, looking around even if there was nothing to see. Well, nothing but the library of his house in Kyoto.
Joshua could safely say that Serafall had outdone herself with the place's changes. It was much bigger than it had been before, with bedrooms to spare, a decent sized library and lots of other places, including an underground several basement levels. He had been quick to relocate all his wards to the lowest one after everything was done. The most incredible thing though, was that they had managed for it to not feel too big as to have to go through a small trek to get anywhere.
Truly, they'd gone above and beyond what he expected.
Back to the topic at hand though, Joshua was presenting his defense in regards to life energy sensing to Yasaka. Or, more accurately perhaps, he was showing her an alternative to his initial plan. As it turned out, after all, he may have bitten more than he could chew.
"Yes," He confirmed with an unsure nod. "I know it's not what I'd said, but I've come to realize that what I planned needs… a lot more than I thought it would," He admitted. "I'd have to master life sensing to be able to make a fool proof illusion of it and that's-"
"That'd take a long time," The youkai leader finished for him, making him give her an uneasy look. "This is more than my people have been able to make with Youjutsu. Maybe it's because it is all based on life energy and yours is based on magic, is my guess, but I'm no expert."
He thought she was probably correct, but he was no Youjutsu expert either. What he did know was that he couldn't make illusions of things he didn't know. That meant that he needed perfect life sensing to be able to make a perfect illusion.
And… he was quite far from it, really.
[Life Sense - Lvl 24/100
Determines the user's ability to sense life energy.
Precision is determined by Skill Level.
Increases the range of Life Sense by 72%.]
"This is what I can offer you for the foreseeable future. I'll continue working on the life energy illusion, but it'll probably take a long time, as you said. If that's not enough, I can-" He started, ready to offer her a bunch of other defenses. Hell, he'd probably do so anyway. Yasaka was a friend, after all, and everything he did for her defenses would help Kunou, which made it all even more of a win in his opinion.
"This is quite fine," The woman reassured him with a kind smile. "Completely obscuring life energy will work just as well against anyone trying to track myself or Kunou. Not quite as effective as misdirection, but still a good defense."
"Still, I'm sure I can come up with other things to add," Joshua insisted. "Just a bit of time and all. This is a lot less than we'd agreed to when negotiating."
"Which actually works for me," Yasaka told him, making him pause. "There's only so much I can pay you through hex foci, Joshua," She added with an amused smile. "I have to procure most of those through deals of their own, after all. I have a feeling that if I let you go wild, you'll bankrupt us."
He chuckled nervously at that.
"We can go one defense at a time, since you don't seem to be in a rush to get away from here or stop helping," Yasaka pointed out and he conceded the point with a nod.
Still, he was nervous. With Azazel and Vali going away, there was danger of Khaos Brigade coming back. It had him on edge a little. Call him paranoid, but Joshua didn't like the idea of someone attacking and him not being ready. He was a warder, his defenses were his strength, but there were things that could go against him that worried him a whole lot.
Joshua blinked as his bracelet/necklace lit up and he heard the cue that meant Kunou was calling. He deadpanned at Yasaka as the woman giggled behind her hand. Exasperated, he turned to the side where the girl was doing her absolute best to look innocent with notes around her in a desk at his library.
"Really?" He asked. "Maybe these things were a bad idea," He grumbled to himself as he made his way to her. All of the five steps that meant. "What is it?"
"Can you look at this circle?" She asked shyly under his unimpressed expression. With a sigh, he looked at what she was working on. Once more, she seemed to have pushed the exercises he gave her and dived straight into her own works. "I know there's something wrong with it, but I just can't find where," She grumbled, glaring at the paper in front of her as if that would make it work.
"You know you could just call me over, right?" He asked, even as he rotated the paper sheet so he could get a better look at it.
"I know," Kunou replied, looking away from him. "I just like using the necklace," She mumbled as she poked her fingers together.
"Hm," He hummed, eyes narrowing. "This part here?" He pointed out, moving behind her so they could both look at the circle together. His finger signaling at a specific line in the spell. "You see the problem there?" He asked then, preferring to let her find it herself instead of just telling her.
"I'm dumb," She answered, pouting. He just chuckled at her, but didn't say anything. "I made it the wrong color, that's the problem…" She grumbled under her breath, already working on fixing it. Joshua simply placed a hand on her head and ruffled her hair.
"Otherwise it's pretty good, but yeah, sometimes the most obvious of things are what we miss," He told her, watching as she corrected her mistake. When she looked up at him to see if she'd done it well, he simply raised an eyebrow at her. Pouting even more, she turned to regard her circle.
"I think it's fine," She mumbled after a minute or so.
"It is, good job," He told her. "You'll be as good as me in no time," He added as he started moving away to finish his talk with Yasaka.
"Really?"
"Of course!"
When he reached the youkai leader again, the woman was still looking towards her daughter in silence. Joshua would have spoken, but he was pretty sure that it wasn't the time. Cheshire pressing against his leg before jumping on him and the feeling he got from her seemed to tell him she agreed with that thought.
"She looks up to you," Yasaka said then. He nodded, even if she wasn't looking at him. Joshua was sure she'd told him something of the sort before at some point. "You've turned into a father figure for her, did you know? It's been a while since that happened, actually."
He remained silent after that too, because she didn't seem to be done. There wasn't much he could say, anyway. Joshua had known that already. Or maybe it was better to say he suspected. It was a terrifying thought, to think that any child could see him like that, let alone Kunou.
"I don't mean to put pressure on you, or tell you to act differently," Yasaka said then, alleviating some of his fears. "I just meant to make you aware of that fact, but it seems that you had noticed," She explained, eyes still firmly locked on her daughter. A rueful smile appeared on her face then. "Can I tell you something, Joshua?"
"Of course," He replied softly, a hand moving to pet Cheshire.
"He left around a year after she was born," Yasaka told him, and it wasn't hard to guess who was who in that sentence. "It wasn't because of her, or because of me. He left… Because he was a coward, weak."
Joshua's eyes widened. That was certainly not a tone he'd heard from Yasaka before, he was sure. It was almost a growl, filled with contempt. It was a shocking contrast to the usually serene picture he had of the leader.
"We weren't together for very long, that's true. Or maybe it's better to say we weren't truly together for very long," Yasaka explained. "When everything was made official, it seemed that things changed. Suddenly, being with me turned out to be overwhelming for him. He couldn't deal with what it meant and what it entailed. And so… he left."
"Sounds more like an idiot than anything else," Joshua commented, unsure of what to say. He wasn't good at dealing with such things, so he went with bluntly stating his thoughts. He could only hope it wouldn't make things worse or anything.
"I guess it could be seen that way," She replied, the smile on her face not reaching her eyes. "She doesn't know," She added then. "I haven't told her and the servants don't talk about it. I'm not sure what is worse, knowing or not."
Joshua couldn't hope to know either. What was best, to know nothing of your father or to know he'd abandoned you? It was the kind of question he didn't even think he wanted to know the answer to.
"I'm thinking of telling her though," Yasaka confessed, as if it were a great sin. "I thought that having only guesses and her imagination would be better than the truth before. Now, however, she doesn't need that. She has a father figure in her life, she doesn't need a made up one."
Well, that was a lot of pressure being put on him then, even if Yasaka had said it wasn't her intention. Still, the woman had given him an ear to listen when he'd needed it. She'd given him support when he'd needed it. It was the least he could do to return the favor, even if it was scary.
"I want to know what you think, Joshua," Yasaka said then, turning towards him for the first time since the conversation had started. "And, more importantly, I want to know that you won't leave her."
"I think I've promised that last one before, but I can do so again," Joshua replied, with all the certainty and confidence he could put behind that statement. He was almost surprised to find out that he meant it too. It was scary and it was worrying, but still… He couldn't say anything else. "As for the rest…" He trailed off, turning to look at Kunou.
It wouldn't be a nice thing to learn such a thing. It would be awful, certainly. However, the truth was better than a lie, even if the latter was only by omission. Kunou was a child, yes, but she was smart and mature for her age. Hiding something like that from her for much longer didn't sound right.
However…
"It would make my role more… real, I guess is a good enough word for it," Joshua pointed out, gulping down the nervous knot in his throat. "Do you think that's a good idea?" He asked, turning towards Yasaka once more. "I don't know what that'll mean for her… Or for you, for that matter."
"If I could deal with the fallout of him leaving, I can deal with whatever it is that this would bring for me, regarding my position," Yasaka reassured him. "As for her, I don't believe it'll change things much in that regard. It might even make her happy, to know that I don't mind her seeing you like that."
Joshua stared at her as his thoughts moved away. He considered what she was saying and wondered. Wondered if, maybe, he was being a coward too. He probably was, he guessed, but he couldn't help it. Wards, deals, studying, training. All those things were easy, he could dive into them and progress. He had the system, constantly whispering into his ear about how he was getting stronger, faster, better.
People, however, had always been scary, strange, incomprehensible. Joshua had never been able to understand them. He never knew what to say, what to do, what was a good idea or what wasn't. People were complicated and he hated that, because it always set him apart from everyone.
Reconnecting with his family had been one thing. There had always been that reassurance that they wouldn't leave him, no matter what. There'd always been that understanding that they would stay with him, support him, no matter what.
Making friends had been difficult. Hell, he couldn't even really say he'd done that, really. His relationships had started as merely business with Sairaorg and everyone else. Joshua hadn't developed that into friendship until much later.
If he thought about it, Kunou was probably the only person in the world he'd befriended out of his own accord. Even Jeanne and his familiars had been all but thrown at him in some way. The little girl, however, had been entirely different.
Joshua hadn't needed to get close to her. It might have been one of the reasons why things had gone so well with the youkai, but it hadn't been part of his thoughts back then. He hadn't even considered what that might do. He'd just seen a little girl that was afraid of Khaos Brigade and done something about it.
How things had spiraled into what they were then… he didn't have the slightest idea, but he could confidently say that he didn't regret it one bit. Joshua closed his eyes for a moment, his lips tugging up into a smile. He guessed he could just as confidently say something else then.
Cheshire pressed her head against him.
"Yeah, I'm fine with that," He said in the end. If he hadn't known better, he'd have thought he saw Yasaka let out a breath she'd been holding. "I can only hope I will do well," He added, giving the woman a nervous smile.
"You've been doing great. Really, if you continue as you are, it'll be fine," Yasaka told him, smiling bright at him. "I can't tell you how happy I am that Kunou finally has someone to fill that role in her life."
"No pressure," He mumbled, more to himself than to the woman in front of him.
"She's still my daughter though, don't you forget it," She told him, making him chuckle.
[}-o-{]
[Yasaka]
She hated to see that expression on her daughter's face. After she'd explained everything as best she could, little Kunou had put on her mask. That mask of indifference that she usually wore when she had to deal with her duties and they became too much for her to use a more polite one. The mask she wore sometimes when she wasn't around and she was alone with the servants.
Yasaka realized, at that moment, that Kunou hadn't looked like that in quite a while. It didn't take a genius to know what – or rather, who – was the reason for that change. And while she was grateful for that, it was still heartbreaking to see her daughter look like that again and realize that it was her fault.
"He just… left?" Kunou asked, her voice small, hurt and confused. Yasaka was reminded of her own reaction when she realized what had happened. "Just like that? He… left?"
"He did," Yasaka replied simply, because she was done lying or not telling her daughter things. It had hurt, every single second, and she was so very relieved to have taken that weight off her shoulders. It didn't make the moment more bearable, but it did give her hope for the future.
"... Why tell me now?" Kunou questioned then, looking down and having her bangs cover her face. Yasaka didn't need to look at her face to know what was happening. Her daughter's life energy was telling her all that she needed to know.
"I've always wanted to tell you," Yasaka told her softly. "But I'm not blind, Kunou. I know I'm not around as much as either of us would want. I didn't want you to think both of your parents had failed you."
"You didn't!" The little girl, bless her heart, protested instantly. "I know your work is important. And you still make time for me when you can. I… I don't think you've failed, mom."
"Thank you, Kunou," Yasaka said, feeling yet another weight being taken off her back. She still thought she could have done better, could do better, but it was a relief to know that at least her daughter didn't think so.
"You… You still haven't really answered," Kunou pointed out, not because she really cared for the answer. Yasaka could tell that she was still processing all that she'd been told. However, she humored her daughter.
"Because I thought it was a good moment, now that you have a parental figure that's doing better than the other two you've had," Yasaka explained, even though she was reluctant to count her previous partner. She smiled softly at Kunou when she saw her eyes widen.
"I- I don't- What-?"
"Kunou," Yasaka interrupted, voice soft. "It's fine."
"I don't know what you are talking about," She mumbled, looking away.
"You've grown quite fond of Joshua, haven't you?" Yasaka asked, tilting her head and smiling a little wider when she saw Kunou's face grow red. However, her amusement was quickly swept away when she felt the wave of nervousness in her daughter's life energy. "What are you afraid of, Kunou?" She asked, placing a reassuring hand on top of her daughter's fidgeting ones.
"I… You are not mad? That I…" Little Kunou asked, her voice barely above a whispering.
"I'm not. I'm sad that you had to look outside of your family to find someone to fill that role for you," She explained, as honestly as she could. "I'm disappointed that I'd often forget you needed that kind of presence in your life. But I'm not mad. I could never be mad at you."
"But… I don't need… to do that," Kunou said, struggling with her fears. Yasaka knew that her daughter didn't want to "insult" her with the truth. That she hadn't managed to be the parent her little girl had needed. She hadn't managed with the balancing act that was being a faction leader and a mother at the same time. She'd failed and her daughter wanted to protect her.
It was all she could do not to cry.
"Kunou, it's fine," Yasaka told her again. "You don't need to lie. Not to me."
For a second, it looked like her daughter would try to do just that. Then she deflated, realizing the futility of it. Instead, she drew into herself, growing quiet. That is, until there was a knock on the door. After saying that it was fine to enter, Fuyuko peeked in.
"Um, I… can come back at another time, if I'm interrupting, Yasaka-sama, Kunou-sama," The yuki-onna said apologetically, immediately picking up that something was happening.
"It's alright, Fuyuko," Yasaka reassured, calming her own mind as she spoke. "Did you need something?"
"Joshua-sama left a few things for Kunou-sama before leaving today," She said, immediately making Kunou look up curiously, even if it didn't quite snap her out of her troubled emotions. "Just some exercises, from what I was told. And a card, although he wouldn't say what it was, as usual," The servant explained, hesitantly leaving the aforementioned objects on the table.
"Fuyuko," Kunou called then, making the yuki-onna stop at the door. "Could you… bring me a cup of tea?" She asked, barely keeping her voice from cracking.
"Of course, Kunou-sama."
Yasaka could only smile at the interaction, especially the end of it. It was a very Joshua thing to do, she thought to herself, to ask for a cup of tea while dealing with something. It seemed that her daughter might have been picking up more habits from him without even realizing.
They sat in silence after that, before Kunou hesitantly, almost fearfully, picked up the card that Joshua had left for her. A few seconds after just staring at it, she set the thing on the table and activated the circle drawn in it. The thing exploded to life then. In a manner of speaking, that is, because it very slowly spread illusory grass on the table and then, from a side appeared a small fox calmly walking around before just curling up on the floor and apparently going to sleep.
A subtle "remember to rest" from Joshua, Yasaka imagined.
"He doesn't mind either," She said then, making her daughter look up at her with wide eyes, the illusion dissipating as her concentration broke. "We talked, and he said he's fine with it. If anything, he's worried he won't be good enough, but that's about it."
"He said that?" Kunou asked, sounding even younger than she looked and that much more vulnerable. Yasaka simply nodded. "He's a dummy."
"Sometimes," Yasaka agreed with a smile.
"I'm… I…" Her daughter started, struggling to continue afterwards, as if she wasn't even sure what she'd even wanted to say. "I love you, mom," She said then, looking down at the card in her hands.
"I love you too, Kunou," Yasaka replied, moving to sit beside her daughter and bringing her into a hug. "I love you too," She repeated, kissing the top of her head.
"It's fine, right?" Kunou asked, her voice watery, like she was holding back a sob.
"It's fine," Yasaka reassured.
[}-o-{]
[Kunou]
"So, I'm guessing you had a little chat, huh?" Joshua asked, an uneasy half-smile on his face as he regarded her mother and her. He tried to play it off as he usually did. Roll with it, as he'd usually say. This time it seemed that things were a little out of his comfort zone.
It scared Kunou, if she was honest. What if her mother had been wrong and he hadn't meant it? What if he wasn't fine with it all? What if he didn't-
Her mother placed a hand on her shoulder, reassuring Kunou with her presence.
"We did," Yasaka replied. "She's been a little quiet since."
"You doing ok, Kunou? Is there anything I can do?" Joshua asked, with worry clear in his blue eyes. Funnily enough, that was exactly what he could have done to make things better. It told Kunou that he wasn't nervous because he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. It was because he was concerned for her.
"If anything, he's worried he won't be good enough, but that's about it," Her mother had said.
"I'm fine," She said, drawing an disbelieving expression from Joshua. She pouted slightly. "I'm…"
"It's ok to not be fine," Joshua reassured then, giving her a kind smile, not unlike the ones her mother had given her the day before. "Just remember to tell us if there's anything we can do, ok?" He asked, sounding a little unsure as he finished his sentence as he turned to look at Yasaka. It wasn't all that different from things he'd say before, but evidently things felt different now.
Kunou didn't think she could manage to care about that though. Joshua was awkward about interacting with people. It was part of how he was. She could deal with that no problem. Her lips pulled up a little. The important part was that he was fine with things.
"Ok," She replied and Joshua's shoulders relaxed. She was sure that he wanted to sigh in relief too, judging by the way his life energy shifted. "I wanted to ask something though," She started, looking between her mother and Joshua.
"What, Kunou?" The former asked encouragingly as Joshua picked up the tea in front of him and nodded at her to continue. She regarded them, wondering if she should really ask. It sounded silly, all of a sudden.
"Can… Can I call you dad?"
Joshua choked on his drink.
[} Chapter End {]
(AN:Please remember that this story is not mine and will never be mine. Make sure to give thanks to the original author on fanfiction.net https://m.fanfiction.net/u/11459794/)