Even though my intuition told me not to, I got into Elena's plane with her, the boys, Lia, and uncle. But while Lia quickly fell asleep on uncle's wide shoulders, I was unable to even blink my eyes. Dragan sat between me and Elena, holding my hand with one and with the other on his mom's thigh to show her that he was there, probably knowing she was as scared as me, if not more. Way too mature and understanding for an 11 year old.
I left my headphones with him, because I noticed he was also a bit anxious about this whole thing. Yury on the other hand was sleeping on Elena's arms, being a 1 year old with the size of a 3 year old, he's a big boy.
Even then, I was still feeling the damn chills. A bad Omen. And something in me kept screaming that I shouldn't have taken this plane, that I should have said fuck it and bought a train ticket instead. But it was too late, I already got in. All of us did.
And after two hours on air, while staring at the window of my side none stop, I saw the second we got into a storm region and everything got darker. The second the plane began shaking softly with the turbulence, I closed my eyes, feeling terror take over me. "No, no, no, no, no, not like this, not like this, not like this," I whispered under my breath.
"It's just a turbulence, Zee, don't worry," but I can tell he's worried.
"We are okay," uncle told me, holding Lia, still sleeping, tightly.
"Yes, we are okay," Elena purred, holding Yury closer and passing an arm around Dragan's shoulders. "We are okay."
But when my eyes saw the amount of thunders surrounding us, I couldn't hold it, "No. We are not fucking okay. Shit. We better grab those air masks and our parachutes as quickly as fucking possible. Cecylia, wake up," I hissed at her and she jumped startled.
"Passengers," the pilot told us, her voice anxious, "grab your air masks and your parachutes. Don't panic, but the plane was hit by one lightening in the back and one in the left wing. We are flying over the plains of France, we'll have to make an emergency landing. Everything will be fine, just protect yourselves."
"I told you!" I hissed, feeling tears roll down my face. "We… we shouldn't have taken this plane," I quickly got up and in a second I picked uncles and Cecylia's hand baggage, their air masks and parachutes and handed it to them, then I helped Dragan, Elena, and Yury. Lastly, myself.
All while the rest of the plane was screaming and crying in fear.
Closing my eyes, I hugged myself to my backpack now on my front and to my handbag, all tightly closed. "Please, God, please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I joked about this, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We can't die now, yeah? We are all too young, we barely lived at all. Please," I cried under my breath. "Please, I barely found a motivation to keep living, don't take my life away from me right now. I want to live. I need to live. I need to be with him, we barely had time, please. Don't wrack this on me now, yeah? Yeah? Please. Please. Please, God."
"I'm… I'm scared," Dragan finally cried, voicing his fears.
And it made me even more desperate, "I am scared too, lil dragon. But we'll live through this, yeah? We'll live. We won't die. We won't."
Elena gave me a grateful look, tears of fears still rolling down her eyes, "Nothing will happen, baby," she tried. "We'll be fine."
"WE ARE GOING TO DIE!" Someone screamed in English, in terror. "WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE. I CAN'T DIE. I CAN'T."
"WE SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT OUR PLANE," another cried in French and I felt like crying together with him because I felt the fucking same. "WE SHOULDN'T… WE SHOULDN'T… WE SHOULDN'T…"
"MOMMY," a girl screamed in Dutch, "I DON'T WANNA DIE."
"Finally," another guy cried, in English, "I'll finally free myself of the heavy burden of living. At least we'll all die together."
"Shut the fuck up you depressed lil bitch," I yelled at him and he flinched, turning to face me with annoyance, and I noticed that he's a teen, maybe 16 or 17, my age. "Can't you fucking see that there are kids in here? Toddlers? Have you gone mad? Bloody hell. If you want to die, go and do it to yourself, don't drag almost 550 people with you, you lil cunt. If you say any other kind of shit like that, I'll kill you myself."
"That's not how deal with someone who's depressed," he hissed.
"Bitch? I am depressed! But I found something that it's worthy living for, you bloody jerk," I yelled at him. "So suck those damn tears up and get a bloody hold you're your fucking self. Jump from a building if you want, but don't say shit in this situation. There are innocents here that want to live, kids, babies, there are even pregnant woman in here. How can you even have the guts to say that?"
He got up angrily, "You don't know shit. I lost my mom."
"And? I lost my dad, and my godmother, and my relationship with my mom and with my aunt in the process. Did you see your mom dying? Because my dad died in front of me," I yelled. "You think you know pain? You don't. There are people here who also lost their parents and to plane crashes, how can you even use that as an excuse to desire that everyone in here will die with you, you bloody arsehole?"
"Hah, if we were on land, I would teach you a lesson, you bitch."
"Don't call her that!" Dragan, uncle, Lia, and Elena hissed.
"Oh yeah?" I grinned wickedly. "If we survive this, I'll take you up on that, you lil shit. But don't come crying after I destroy you with my bare hands. You have no idea how much I want to beat you up for saying what you did in this situation."
"You? You are nothing!" He hissed.
"Am I a mirror or something? Are you talking to yourself?"
"Excuse me?" He yelled offended.
"ENOUGH. WE ARE ABOUT TO DIE, STOP FIGHTING!" A women screamed and us and we both flinched.
"WE AIN'T GOING TO DIE, STOP PANICKING!" I yelled back in Dutch, even though I've been panicking way before the actual problem happened. "EVERYONE. GRAB YOUR DAMN AIR MASKS, PUT THE PARACHUTES ON, AND GRAB WHATEVER YOU HAVE OF IMPORTANCE TIGHT WITH YOUR ARMS. WE MIGHT NEED TO HIGH-JACK, BUT WE'LL LIVE." Then I turned to the bitchy boy. "And when we do, I swear to God, I'll beat you until you lose consciousness, I-"
The plane made an abrupt turn, that I doubt should ever be made on a plane of this proportion, and while he fell down immediately thank to it, I only didn't fall because Dragan and Elena grabbed me. "Be fucking careful, Zofya, Jesus Christ," uncle yelled at me. "Don't get yourself killed."
I swallowed, "Sorry, I just couldn't handle the guy," I said in Dutch.
"Passengers, we are now going down to the planes, but we are still in the middle of the storm, so, we'll need to highjack. If we don't, I fear that we won't be able to survive the impact. Gather on the emergencies doors at the sides of the airplane, there eight. Do not panic, if you panic, it'll become a mess, and if it becomes a mess, you won't have time to highjack, and you will die. Choose between panicking and surviving," the pilot warned us, and her voice seemed raspy, as if she was doing her all not to panic.
"I can't! My stuff in down the plane, I spent too much on presents, I can't lose that!" A stupid woman yelled in Dutch.
"Fuck your presents," I hissed, in dismay. "You need to survive. If you lose your life right now, it'll all be fucking useless. Don't you have a brain? This. This is the time for you to use it!" I turned to the depressed guy who were looking really scared now, then I switched to English. "You don't look that happy with dying now, do you, depressed boy? I bet death by plane crash isn't the smoothest way to go, is it?"
"Shut the fuck up," he groaned, but there was fear in his eyes.
In a second I was on my feet, helping my friends and uncle to get up too, our backpacks over our parachute equipment, then I pushed them to the exit door at our side of the plane, that was just seven seat lines away from us, but before I could go with them, I stopped by the depressed boy, noticing how he was panicking in silent, struggling to put the parachute on, hands shaking in a way that is painfully familiar to me.
"Get away from me," he hissed. Sighing, I came closer and helped him with the parachute, and he glared at me, confused. "Why? Why are you helping me? I just said I was going to beat you."
"Because I know your pain. What part of I saw my dad dying in front of me didn't you bloody understand?" I hissed under my breath. "And I do need you alive, so I can give you a beating, yeah?"
"Aren't you scared?" He gasped.
"I am terrified," I helped him with his bag, tying it in his body. "I actually have been freaking out even before I got inside because I've been having a terrible feeling. And if it was a month ago, I would be glad to die, but I really found something that made me want to keep living, so, come on. Get up, depressed boy, I need you to live enough to find yourself a new motivation to keep living, yeah? I still despise your guts."
"What… what is your name?"
"Zofya, yours?" I grabbed his arms and made him stand up, then I covered his hands with mine, "It's okay to fear, yeah? We just can't let our fear and anxiety and panic blind us right bloody now."
"Zee!" Dragan yelled desperate, "We need to go. Please, come."
"I'm… I'm Keith Angeline Yastrzemski."
"Full names then. Zofya Magdalena Fiaich Turovska," I grabbed the little bag that was under his chair, that he seemed to be forgetting and tied it to his backpack. "Don't grab anything on your hands, you will need then to control the parachute, depressed boy," then I pushed him to where Dragan and Elena were waiting for me, since uncle and Cecylia had already jumped. "I had to help this shithead, lil dragon," I told him in Dutch. "Or he would get himself killed."
"You're next, miss," the flight attendant girl told Elena, looking as panicked as all of us, but holding it together. "Hold the baby tight on you."
"I will," Elena cried struggling. "Zofya, please, hold my son."
"I'll be right behind you with him!" I told her and she jumped. Struggling to breath, I instantly changed my backpack to my back and changed Dragan's to his back too, then I picked him up. "Hold on me with your fucking life, little dragon, for Christ's sake. Do not let go for anything, yeah? Don't pull your parachute, we'll go with mine." He did exactly what I told him, too shaken to even speak. "And you," I turned to Keith, "come right behind me and do what I do. You don't look like you even know how to use a bloody parachute!" I yelled at him in English.
Before the flight attendant could even say a word to me, I jumped with Dragan, and though there was really a storm, it wasn't necessarily dark outside, so I got sight of Elena with Yury at my north, and of Cecylia and uncle Krystian at my southernmost side far ahead of us, and my best friend looked freaked out like never before.
Following what I told him, Keith appeared on my sight, very close to me, at my south, freaking out. "Don't pull it yet!" I screamed at him in English, because of the horrible noise. "We are still too high!"
"I'm going to die!" He screamed back, desperately.
"Shut the fuck up, you ain't dying on me. Just calm the fuck down and wait," I screamed. "If you pull it now, you won't have air to breath because we are too fucking high!"
"I'm… I'm… I'm scared," Dragan cried against me, in Dutch.
"Shhh, breath. We'll be alright. I know what to do," I calmed him and turned to the depressed boy, switching back to English. At least his body is in the right position to fall, "I know what I'm doing, I've skydived before," I screamed for him to head me.
"Fuck, if you get me killed, I'll kill you!" He yelled back.
"Hah, weren't you the depressed one who wanted to die?" I could not help mocking. "Just follow me, arsehole!"
"What… what do I fucking do?" Keith screamed.
"On my cue, you look at the rip-cord, grasp it with your right hand, and at the same time place your left arm across your waist. Then while pulling the rip-cord, bring your legs together and hold your chin down. But don't you bloody do that right now. Wait. Wait. The storm and the wind are going to fuck us up if you pull it right now," I screamed.
"Then when?" He screamed back.
The second I finally got sight of land beneath us, even if far away, ignoring all the people jumping around me and screaming, I held Dragan tight with my left arm, "Now. Do what I told you!" I screamed at him, then I did it, I put my legs together the way I could, and pulled the rip-cord.
As soon as the chute blossomed, I grabbed the risers to control the chute and my landing, and through my peripheral vision I noticed Keith doing the same, all while screaming all kinds of curses in English, Italian, and in Dutch. Why was he even talking in English if can speak Dutch? Then I guess I got it right by his name, he must be American-Italian-Polish.
"What… what… what now?"
"Don't straighten your legs," I screamed at him, noticing he was doing exactly that, "it'll get you injured, are you bloody dumb or what?"