Chapter 97 - First Life

Axel moved with care as he dressed Lila, choosing a soft, comfortable nightgown for her. He slipped it over her shoulders, the fabric settling around her gracefully, his hands steady and gentle. Every movement reflected the tenderness he felt, making sure not to disturb her peaceful slumber.

Once he was satisfied, he took a soft towel to her damp hair, delicately drying each strand, his fingers working with precision. Her hair, still faintly fragrant from her bath, fell smoothly as he carefully combed it through with his hands.

Once Lila's hair was dried to his satisfaction, Axel took a moment to look at her. Peaceful and serene, she seemed entirely unburdened in her sleep, her lashes casting soft shadows on her cheeks. It was a rare side of her he cherished, one that softened his own usually guarded heart.

Carefully, he shifted her so she rested comfortably on the plush bed, pulling a blanket over her to ward off any chill. He took a moment, running his thumb gently over her hand, admiring the strength hidden in her delicate features.

Finally, Axel turned and left her side to clean up himself. He stepped into the shower, the warm water helping to ease his own tension from the day's events. 

As Axel stepped into the large marble tub, water cascaded over his frame, highlighting every contour of his muscular physique. His shoulders, broad and powerful, carried the weight of both his title and his fierce dedication. The warm water glided over his chiseled chest and down his defined abs, each muscle honed by years of training and discipline, evidence of his strength and resilience.

The dim light softened the shadows over his body, accentuating the sharp lines and graceful curves. His skin, bronzed and scarred in places from past battles, seemed to glow under the water's touch, giving him an almost statuesque quality, as though carved from stone. He ran his hands through his damp hair, water droplets catching on his lashes before falling, his gaze introspective and deep, as if lost in thought.

Despite his formidable presence, there was a gentleness to him here, a rare vulnerability as he let the water wash away the day's tension. It was a moment of quiet, where the weight of his responsibilities fell away, revealing the man beneath the armor. 

Axel, still damp from his shower, slipped into bed beside Lila, careful not to disturb her. He watched her in the gentle moonlight that spilled through the window, illuminating her peaceful features. Her chest rose and fell in steady breaths, her hand curled lightly by her face. He lay beside her, his own eyes drifting closed, comforted by her presence.

Yet, as sleep took him, his dreams turned dark. In his mind's eye, he saw Lila standing in a room, her face twisted in rage and despair. Her eyes bore into him with an intensity he had never seen before, fierce and unyielding, filled with a hatred that pierced through him like a blade. The scene shifted, and Axel felt his chest tighten as he watched her, desperate and furious, make a choice that shattered him—her hand reaching for something sharp, the action deliberate.

"No…" Axel muttered in his sleep, a choked sound escaping his lips. He tried to move toward her, to stop her, but his body felt bound, trapped in the terror of his own mind. The sight of her, slipping away, filled him with a despair so profound it seemed to consume him.

Axel awoke with a start, his breathing ragged, heart pounding in his chest. His gaze immediately went to Lila, lying undisturbed beside him, her breath soft and even. He swallowed, relief flooding over him as he took in her serene face, free of any of the anger or anguish he'd seen in his nightmare.

He reached out, hesitating for a moment, then gently brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. She stirred slightly but did not wake, and he found himself grateful for it. He wasn't ready to speak, still shaken by the intensity of the dream, the lingering feeling of that unimaginable loss clinging to him.

Part of him wanted to wake her, to see her open her eyes and look at him without the hatred he'd imagined. But he hesitated, not wanting to pull her from her rest.

Instead, he whispered softly, more to himself than to her, "I could never… not in a thousand lifetimes."

His fingers gently grazed hers, his heart aching with a fierce protectiveness. He knew, in that moment, how deeply he needed her by his side. The nightmare had laid bare his greatest fear: losing her, or even worse, hurting her. 

Axel staggered as the memory surged through him, unbidden and harsh. His head spun, a wave of dizziness pressing down as fragments from his past life flashed before him—blurry at first, then becoming sharp, piercing like splinters. He saw Lila's face, younger but unmistakable, twisted with grief and rage. They were in a dimly lit room, the air thick with sorrow and resentment. And between them, in Lila's trembling arms, lay the body of their son.

The rawness of her pain was seared into his memory. He remembered standing there, feeling helpless, words frozen in his throat, watching as Lila cradled their child, rocking him gently as though he were merely asleep. The silence had grown heavier until she looked up, and Axel felt his heart shatter under the weight of her gaze—so much hatred, the kind that could only come from the deepest love, turned bitter and hollow.

"You," she had spat, voice breaking, "you let this happen. You let him die."

Axel's own grief had become muted, numbed by the sharp edges of her words. He remembered reaching out to her, desperate to bridge the chasm that had opened between them, but she pulled away, clutching their child tighter, as if shielding him from the father she had come to despise.

"I'll never forgive you," she had whispered. The words were like poison, sinking into him, twisting, settling deep in his soul. "I will find you in every lifetime, Axel. I will live without you, and you—" her eyes burned into him, "you will love me for the rest of your life and every life. I will make you miserable, just as you've made me."

The memory left him cold and shaken, his breaths shallow. It was as though he could still feel her words coiling around him, binding him to that vow she had made long ago. A lifetime ago. He clenched his hands, feeling the old wounds reopen, and his heart felt heavy with guilt and unresolved love.

Standing there now, with Lila sleeping peacefully just a few feet away, Axel felt the ache of the past, tangled with the present. He hadn't chosen to love her across lifetimes, and yet, he did—helplessly, completely, as if some part of him had always known he owed her this.