At that age, his perception of beauty and ugliness was vague, but he was also aware that he was different from others, not nearly as handsome as the second or third brothers. It was for this reason that people viewed him with prejudice, and even his own father could not help but sigh in frustration whenever he saw his face.
Over time, combined with some other factors, he became someone who neither cried nor smiled; he became like a piece of wood, seemingly void of emotion, devoid of joy and anger, slow in response to everything, always alone.
Compared to being in a group, he actually preferred solitude because he felt more comfortable alone.
He knew that his older and younger brothers never despised him, but in his youth, upon seeing his siblings so fair and handsome, he couldn't help but wonder if he was truly a monster. Otherwise, why would he look so deformed?
