Father always said,
"Don't do anything, just live a comfortable life with the life you're given."
"The well-being of the family will be taken care of by your siblings, so don't worry about it at all."
"That is how you can be of help to the family."
Those were his words when he had no expectations of me.
However, as is often the case, people's words change over time,
After I gained strength, he said,
"Live for the family."
"Your brother Aschel is everything to the family."
"Live a life for Aschel."
A life not for myself, but for the master of the family.
A life for Aschel Vert, the eldest son and the firstborn of the family.
It meant to ask for nothing in return, to follow like a shadow, and to support everything so he could succeed.
Someone said it again.
There's no life as foolish as a life lived for others,
Yet, that's what I did.
And so, I made all that he started come to fruition.
The imperial throne disputes.
The demon king's army subjugation.
The continental unification war, etc.
Sometimes as a hero, sometimes as a savior, and finally as the unique guardian of the continent.
To me, my brother was everything and all.
Foolish?
Others said so too.
Is there a need to live a life so dedicated to others?
I answered,
A life for my brother is a life for me.
Aschel's success is Cyan's success.
Wealth or power is nothing but luxury to me.
Even if I'm called a shadow and pointed at, if I can make this harsh world a bit more peaceful, then that is my ultimate wish.
But then someone else said.
A wish is not something that easily comes true, even if it's small.
I didn't believe that.
I thought my wish was coming true now, as I am by my brother's side, and tried to deny it.
Right. That was the case.
But why am I, now, facing such a wretched situation?
* * *
"Cough!"
Crimson blood spurts out of my mouth.
It seems like the vital blood near my heart has been shocked.
My vision is getting blurrier.
Still, in front of my eyes, more than 20 enemies are brandishing their swords at me.
Though numerous, their skills far surpass those of ordinary assassins.
With renowned swordsmen, knights, and mages from across the empire and the continent gathered to reveal their murderous intent towards me, the scene was undeniably spectacular.
"What a sight, one you couldn't buy with money. A knight facing the continent's greatest masters alone… Even Aschel himself wouldn't be able to do this."
Though his face was obscured by blood, his voice made it clear who it was.
"Bo, Boris…"
Boris L'Helheim, the head of the Usiph Empire's Magic Academy.
One of the core forces of the empire, alongside the Knights of Light.
Though I never liked his actions, he was excluded from the list of threats because he reigned as my brother's right hand.
And now he betrays me like this?
"How fascinating. Indeed, you are Aschel's brother whom he trusted."
His already displeasing face, laughing in such a manner, seriously worsened my mood.
Should I just use a secret technique to escape, regardless of everything around me?
"If you're thinking of using a secret technique to escape, I advise against it. A nine-star magic barrier is in place here. You'd only be depleting your remaining life force."
Ha, it seems he has prepared quite thoroughly.
"Is this the emperor's command?"
"The emperor knows nothing of this. It will probably be reported that Sir Cyan was killed in an attack by unidentified assassins."
Attack by assassins?
It's laughably absurd.
Who do they think they are talking about assassination in front of?
Now, I don't care about the barrier or anything else.
I will use all the power I have to escape this situation.
Black mist surged from the dagger in my hand.
-Whoosh
The rising mist wrapped around my whole body and seeped through it.
As my overall physical abilities enhanced, the wounds that had opened began to heal gradually.
"So, as I heard, you were an assassin affiliated with Mist. Now that it has come to this, I must report to His Majesty that I have discovered and dealt with a heretic and a troublemaker."
"If you have a mouth left to report with, then try. But I assure you, you won't have even a piece of tooth left, let alone a mouth."
The suppressed murderous intent is now erupting.
How long has it been since I've expressed such anger?
First, I will annihilate these traitors around me and then go to my brother.
To report the current situation and discuss our next steps…
"Stop there, Cyan."
A delicate voice tightens the tense nerves.
I knew who owned this voice.
But beyond knowing, isn't he supposed to not be here right now?
Even through my blood-stained vision, I could clearly see that man.
"B, Brother Aschel?"
My superior, the leader of the Knights of Light, the guardian of the continent, and the owner of the holy sword.
Aschel Vert. Why is he here?
Holding a holy sword blessed by the gods, he walks towards me, step by step.
The knights surrounding me parted ways, and I couldn't make any move until he arrived.
The rising murderous intent soon turned into despair.
"You look like you don't understand why I'm here."
How could I possibly understand?
"What does this mean?"
My angry gaze was directed solely at him.
"Don't be angry, Cyan. You have fulfilled your duties very well up until now. For the family, for the people, for the country, and for me.... You've been running non-stop, and now I'm here to relieve you of the burden of these years."
What kind of nonsense is this?
To relieve me of the years' burden?
Isn't that just saying you're going to kill me?
Why? What did I do wrong?
As you said, I've been running non-stop for 20 years.
During that time, I haven't been greedy once, and like a shadow by your side, I accomplished everything!
And now you're trying to kill me?
Even when Boris appeared, I didn't feel like this.
The moment I truly realized I was betrayed, indescribable anger started boiling inside me.
"Did, did I do something wrong?"
"Wrong? You know best if you did something wrong, don't you? People kill each other over a hidden piece of bread because they can't trust each other. Yet, you involved yourself in places you should never have been and managed to hide it from everyone, didn't you? You're not saying you don't know your own sin, are you?"
My teeth are grinding.
Anger and injustice envelop me, and blood flows from my bitten lip.
Hidden?
So, what harm have I done to you?
After thoroughly using me and benefiting from it, now this?
Ah, I get it.
Whatever I did, it doesn't matter.
They were scared.
Of the existence of an unparalleled assassin unknown to the world.
They feared the peace of this world, perfected by me, and the secrets related to it would be exposed.
'There is nothing more dangerous than blind trust.'
I remember those words from that foolish god once.
At the time, I brushed it off as nonsense, but I never dreamed those words would come back as a dagger today.
"Chuckle...."
Somehow, laughter escapes me.
How pathetic is it that I have devoted myself, believing he was my brother and everything, like a coward hiding under the blankets?
Even the dead of hell would laugh at this.
"Why do you laugh?"
"To think that the unparalleled hero of the world tries to kill his own brother out of fear. How amusing is this?"
A flicker of pity crossed his face.
"Truly pitiful. You are no longer human, just an ugly murderer, and I have never fully trusted you, not even once, during our time together."
The golden strike of the holy sword pierced my heart.
"Gah!"
The mist that had seeped into my body began to escape.
My legs, which barely held my body's balance, collapsed weakly.
"Farewell, Cyan. Let us not meet in the next life."
Not meet?
If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have become a hero but would have died in the empire's civil war, and now he spouts such words?
Any feelings of regret I had were quickly replaced by anger.
With trembling hands like a quivering tree, I barely managed to pick up the fallen sword.
It didn't matter if my body exploded.
I would gather every speck of mana constituting my body to cast a secret technique.
Just once.
Only once is needed.
If I could strike at his vital point, making revival impossible…
-Slash!
Along with a cruel sound, I saw Aschel's holy sword in my blurred vision.
Beneath it was my dagger, wrapped in a black aura, pathetically dropped.
Along with my hands that were holding the sword's hilt…
"Truly dangerous till the end."
I couldn't even scream, nor did I feel any pain.
At the moment of reaching the end with nowhere left to go, I felt all the emptiness and futility of the world wash over me.
My face buried into the rough dirt, tears of blood dripped below.
A desolate feeling of being left alone in the world.
Within the fading breaths, I felt the shadow of death drawing near.
What a foolish life it was.
If.
If I were given another life.
I would live a different life.
A life looking only at myself, achieving everything on my own,
A life serving no one…
"..."
My breath stopped, and my senses dulled.
The cold shadow of death wrapped around my body.
I accepted its embrace without any resistance.
* * *
"…Sir."
Huh? What's that?
I can sense something in the pitch darkness.
"…Young Master!"
Though I can't see, I can feel someone shaking my body.
What is this? This feeling is incredibly familiar yet uncomfortable.
It's like the nagging of a maid who used to wake me up when I overslept in my childhood…
"Cyan Young Master!"
The sound hits my eardrums like a drum, jolting my body awake.
The first thing I see upon regaining consciousness is a woman's face, not unfamiliar to me.
"Emily?"
The maid who looked after me living in the manor, eight years my senior.
Despite it being almost 20 years since we last met, she looked exactly the same as before.
"Why are you here?"
I asked her without thinking.
"What are you talking about? Did you have a dream or something?"
A dream? A dream, you say?
What nonsense is this…?
As I naturally touched my face, I found myself dumbfounded for a good three seconds.
Skin smooth without a single scar and hands delicate as fiddleheads.
A body skinny without a trace of muscle or fat, and legs so short they barely touched the bed.
This was definitely not the body of an adult.
It was the body of a young boy, no older than 10, not yet enrolled in the academy.
"This doesn't quite fit the image of hell, does it?"
While pinching my cheek thoughtlessly, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror next to the desk.
It was undoubtedly myself from my childhood, living in the Vert mansion.
The face from the worst time in my life was unmistakably mine.
"Stop dawdling and get ready. You have a sparring session with the fourth young master today."
"…What sparring session?"
"What do you mean what sparring? The usual family fencing sparring. You better brace yourself today. It's not anyone else but the infamous fourth, Cranz, you're facing…"
Not just my body had regressed.
The fencing sparring sessions that took place day after day in the manor.
All the experiences from the past seemed to be repeating perfectly.
Is this really a dream?
Were all those events just a dream?
Decades of struggles, all just an illusion?
It felt like my brain had shrunk to the size of a pea, or I was experiencing an overload.
As I sighed and held my forehead, my gaze shifted to Emily.
"...?"
Above her, as she tidied the room, a precariously placed ornament was shaking dangerously.
It looked like it could fall on her head at any moment, a very risky situation.
"Da, danger..."
Instinctively, I leaped up from my spot and rushed towards her.
-Clack
"Look at this mess. Who would believe this is a noble's room… Eek!"
"...?"
As she bent down to clean and turned her head, our eyes met, nearly nose to nose.
Her startled reaction was almost embarrassing.
"What, what is it, Young Master?"
"Hm? Oh? That is…"
In my hands, stretched towards the ceiling, was the ornament, caught just in time.
In the split second before it fell, a feat absolutely impossible for the physical senses of a 10-year-old boy.
I finally realized.
This situation was not a dream at all.
I had returned.
With all the memories and sensations of my past life…
"...?"
Emily's confused face was quite a sight to see.