The words A HazyGurl Production materialized against a dark sky. A piano played something in a minor key. The image lifted to reveal a young woman in a dark room facing the camera. Even though she'd put on makeup and straightened her hair, her exhaustion was evident. The corners of her mouth drooped slightly, and her eyes were more shadowed than normal. She took a breath before she started speaking.
"Hey, everyone, it's HazyGurl. I'm supposed to upload the twelfth episode of They Slipped Through in a few weeks. I was going to do a deep dive on the disappearance of Niles Highsmith and his brother Leon and talk about how it ties into the dark web. I know a lot of you were looking forward to that video, but it's probably not going to happen, at least not anytime soon."
She paused again. It could've been for dramatic effect. It could've been so she could compose herself. Only she knew the reason, but viewers would draw their own conclusions; they almost always did.
"Something happened to me," she said, "something I can't explain."
She laughed then, but it came out dry and ragged.
"I guess I talk about a lot of inexplicable things on my channel. If you're new, I'm sorry, but things are gonna get a little strange. If you're a longtime subscriber, thank you, and I'm sorry. Things are going to get stranger than usual." There was a long, awkward pause she didn't edit out. "After I uploaded my last video, I went out with some friends to a local diner. They brought a guy along. They like to play matchmaker because they can't accept that I'm perfectly happy being single." She smirked, but it looked sad, less lifted. "I told the guy right away that I wasn't interested, but I agreed to hang out with the three of them that night. We drank coffee and ate some food. Guy asked me about my channel and even recommended a topic. I found myself growing attracted to him, at least certain qualities he displayed, but I maintained to myself I wasn't interested in pursuing anything.
"In case you're wondering why, it's this channel. My content is important to me. Yes, it's a potential career, but if you watch the first episode of They Slipped Through, you know it's so much more than that."
She stopped to compose herself, realizing she was speaking too quickly and injecting too much emotion. She began again, this time careful to speak more slowly.
"I'm uninterested in romantic relationships, at least until I'm making enough from my channel to live on my own. I do okay, but I also still live with my parents. I'm telling you all this because I want to illustrate where my head is at and why what happened next should not have happened."
Another pause, another breath. Aside from the title card, she hadn't edited any of this. It was all done in one take.
"Out in the parking lot, after my friends left, I asked this guy if I could walk him to his car. When I got to his car, I asked if he wanted to kiss me. I swear, I don't know why I asked him this or why I wanted … It was like someone flicked a switch in my brain. My words were not my own. My desires were not my own. It wasn't quite an out of body experience; I was there for all of it. I wanted this and didn't want this, but I told him I was sure and let him kiss me."
HazyGurl sniffed. She wiped at her eyes, though no tears glistened in them. Some would undoubtedly call this an act, a ploy for attention, more views, more subscribers, more of that sweet dopamine. She sighed and rolled her shoulders. She looked more relaxed but not completely at ease. One only needed to spot the way her jaw flexed and unflexed or observe the twitch in her left eye to see that tension still held her.
"Look, I'm not saying he … the guy … had anything to do with this. I'm simply saying something happened, biochemically. Or maybe psychologically. I dunno. It makes sense, given what followed.
"I got home to look up the topic he recommended. I spent a good deal of time reading through Instagram posts and other resources. It's rare someone recommends something good. Even rarer someone recommends something I haven't already heard of. This was both new to me and intriguing. It was a game called Rusted Blood. Are you familiar with it? Sound off in the comments."
She frowned after she said it, almost as if it had come out automatically. If it had been accidental, she hadn't bothered to edit it out. She bit her lip and took another breath, this one deeper than the others. It carried a tremor as she exhaled.
"Before bed that night, I messaged my friend and told her to thank the guy for recommending such a cool topic, and then she wrote back."
HazyGurl cocked an eyebrow and the second edit of the video cut the image from her face to the dark sky. Text rolled across the screen: Who? What are you talking about? Everything okay?
The video cut back to HazyGurl.
"I didn't even know what to make of that," she said. "Honestly, I still don't. I thought she might be playing a joke on me. We went back and forth. She said that she and her boyfriend had agreed months ago to stop trying to set me up with guys because they wanted to respect my wishes. We did hang out at the diner that night, my friend said, but no one joined us. She and I got into a fight afterwards because I seriously thought she was kidding and didn't know when to let up. Deep down, I knew, though. This wasn't her style."
HazyGurl put up her hands in a don't shoot gesture and blinked. Again, another tactic to regain composure. It might seem manufactured to some, but to Vanessa Hardesty, it was real.
"Okay, I know this is the part of the video where I give my theory about what happened," HazyGurl said. "Honestly, though? I have no idea where to begin, I'm too freaked out, but I wanted to let you all know what was happening with me. In case I don't upload for a while, you'll at least have this video for reference. I promise I will be back. I just don't know when. I need to think things through."
Her jaw tightened and she looked away from the camera. It seemed almost as if someone had entered the room and stole her attention, but beyond staring their way, she didn't acknowledge them. In profile and shadowed, her expression was impossible to read. When she faced the camera again, she stared at it head on. Her gaze went beyond giving an audience the impression of her attention. She wasn't speaking to the thousands who had viewed the video thus far or the thousands who would view it in the following days. She was speaking to Vanessa Hardesty, who watched from her studio apartment with Simon's chin resting on her lap.
"This game Rusted Blood?" HazyGurl said. "It's tied to six disappearances that we know about and maybe more that we don't."
Vanessa clicked to pause the video and closed her browser. She stared absently at her desktop background, a photograph of her and Simon on the greenbelt trail. She had her arms around the dog's neck and was smiling at the camera. A kid carrying a skateboard had been kind enough to take it for her. It perfectly represented the life she hoped to build in the wake of all she'd lost.
She closed her laptop and pulled out her phone. Simon lifted his head off her lap and yawned. She opened Instagram and went to her DMs. The message from HazyGurl had come three days ago. She'd read it more than once. She'd watched the dots as HazyGurl typed a follow-up message never sent. She'd typed out responses of her own, which she subsequently deleted before sending.
Thresholds, she thought, recalling her childhood fear of crossing barriers both real and imagined. Sending a reply to HazyGurl would be akin to crossing a threshold, but there was nothing irrational about her fear. She had escaped with her life, though from whom she had escaped she was still unsure. Messaging HazyGurl back would bring her back, but perhaps it would also lead to answers. She hadn't considered this seriously until watching this new video, and the need to know now outweighed her fear.
She typed, Hey. I just watched your newest video. Let's talk soon. Video chat? What do you use?
She pressed SEND before she could change her mind and waited, digging her fingernails into her palms.