Meanwhile in Russia...
Civil Servant: *Worried expression* "Your majesty, now that the Fashoda war has ended and epidemics are affecting world trade, our economic boom will rapidly end. We need to prepare for a future where we can't just depend on exporting armaments to major powers."
Alexander III: *Visible concern* "Hmm, this worldwide recession is going to slow down our economy. We might have to tighten our belts for the time being..."
Grand Duke Mikahil: *Runs into the office in shock* "Germany and America are at war! How should we respond?!"
Alexander III: *Completely serious* "My darling son, get the vodka, caviar, and the party games. We're partying like it's 1812 and we just kicked that tiny Napoleon out of our land!"
Grand Duke Mikahil: "But think of the death and suffering this new war will cause!"
Alexander III: *Somber tone* "You're totally right, the upcoming war will be terrible for both sides..."
Grand Duke Mikahil: "..."
Alexander III: "..."
Grand Duke Mikahil: "..."
Alexander III: *Face brightens evilly* "But my soon to be refilled wallet is an incredible grief therapist. You should try it yourself. The emotional rejuvenation that can be obtained by a giant pile of gold is tragically overlooked by the psychology field..."
Grand Duke Mikahil: *Angrily facepalms* "Dad, please don't say something like that in public..."
Ghost of Napoleon Bonaparte: *Peevish* "Hey! I was average height for the time you jackass!"
Grand Duke Mikahil: *Too angry to be scared* "PAY YOUR RENT FOR HAUNTING US OR GET OUT!"
Alexander III: *Tears of pride* "Already taking my lessons to heart...You truly are my son..."