Hi, I know it has been a while since I wrote my crap and btw I just turned fifteen some months ago and I have a confession. So I know how I said that I was sad because of my ex and stuff but I actually just felt sad for me . That( whatever rude names there are to describe that jerk) doesn't deserve my pity or tears . Like crying for him would be like crying over spilt milk or simply just tears on a dying flower . To be honest I didn't really like him that much and stuff and besides I was crushing on somebody else and maybe wanted to support that jerk but obviously took the wrong path or way to do that . So yeah, I obviously have no right to be upset at him. So I apologize (as if . I still hate you) I like red flags but that dude is a freaking toxic red flag who's father is probably Red from Angry Bird ( at least he wanted to make friends and was misjudged). So anyway I have spent 175 text on him to address that issue so I'll move on. I have forgiven him and I feel bad for him cause yeah, as I said earlier I did take the wrong path in wanting to help him out and support him so he didn't end up like 2022 me in December who looked like a hobo with a major dilemma about my emotions and life. So my confession which I literally spent 200+ words introducing and still haven't spoken about yet is that :
(* Whispers*: I mistook my feelings of wanting to help someone get better in life as romantic feelings and intentionally or accidentally did that to avoid falling for a worse jerk called ({71- 20-16 } This is for the smart ones who know the periodic table very well and oh.. don't worry I'll reveal it at the end of this chapter) . So yeah I just found out myself that I had a crush on him ,a nerd, with glasses who is sort of cute and good looking at the same time cause the so called " prettiest girl in my class" likes him and like hello 👋 "Miss delusionally most pretty lady in the world"exists and that's me 💋. He gives me mixed vibes like that dude treats me different from other girls and it's annoying. Am I a weird human being people? ( Author: Don't bother answering. That's a rhetorical question which has an obvious answer) . I have read lots of romance novels to know when a guy likes a girl but this guy has literally turned me into a naive person. My siblings have stated that he obviously likes me but I disagree. He likes to talk and fool around with that so called " pretty girl" and that's what makes me upset at him and want to CRUSH HIM . I'm not jealous (^^) ( DON'T WORRY PEOPLE, I GO FOR THERAPY . I JUST SKIPPED A SESSION THIS MONTH AND THE ONES BEFORE TOO* laughs gently* ) We weirdly always meet and he speaks with me freely on the phone but treats me with utmost respect as if I don't exist in school. I don't know if this is the mechanism nerds use to distract girls who top the class to pass them but if so then it's literally not working but I certainly would love to play along. I watched a YouTube video about how to notice if someone likes you and this is what the video said:
1. The person always points their feet to you: oh he does it alright but it's obviously not to me . I know it sounds ridiculous but when I was standing beside him whiles he was speaking to "you know who" his feet was pointed to her and actually that's just stupid right? Like every human does that !
2. He wants to hang out with you but doesn't show it.
My opinion: Like how the heck am I going to know that huh!? Do I look like I can read people. That dude is a boring yet captivating book I guess. The person he wants to have fun with and hang around like a scarf is" you know who"
3. He wants to know about you and looks jealous when you're with another guy. As if ,that guy looks at me talking to any guy as if he's watching a high school romance.
4. He stares at you.
Maybe.. I have caught some small glances and most of the time my friends are the ones who even tell me. Like he was staring at me the other time and when my friend questioned him, he asked if he should watch her instead. See, so unfaithful.
I think I'm going crazy trying to figure out his feelings when it's obvious he likes the other girl . I am literally relating to " From the start " by Laufey right now. Even though I'm gushing over him I have decided to stop liking him which is highly possible
( Author: Right.. definitely in a dimension that doesn't exist of course. A single delusional and naive teenager is the best cast for a hopeless romantic). Anyway I'm done with my crap talk so I'll just end it here. Good bye readers . (Please don't think of me as pathetic. It's all part of the teenager phase. Btw his name is Lu-Ca-S = 71-20-16)