I am casually in the school garden re-reading my favorite book entitled "a promise". The cold and peaceful wind touches my bronze skin then making my long, black, shiny hair flow in the air coinciding with the route where the fresh air is going through. One leg above the other and my hands on my side supporting my weight while the other is holding the book I am reading.
I love this book and I'm reading it like 20+ times already. I can't stop myself from reading it again and again even though I already read hundreds or thousands of romance novels, no one can still beat this favorite novel of mine. It was so romantic and it was too good to be true.
How I dreamed to be the girl in the book, the one whose hand is held gently, the one who is treated nicely, and the one and only woman that he love the most next to her mother. How does it feel to be loved genuinely? How does it feel to be loved not just because of my physical appearance and body but also love the whole me? To be loved by someone with pure intention. Oh, to be loved by a guy like those fictional characters will always be my finest dream.
Pangarap, ang isang pangarap ko na halatang hindi ko makakamit. Above all dreams, mine belongs to "impossible dream". Simply because that man never exist and walang lalaki na katulad niya. Or wala nga ba?
"Uy pre si Aphrodyte oh, ang ganda talaga niya. She really look like a goddess, her name suits her so well." Naputol and pagbabasa ko ng marinig ko nanaman ang mga katagang palagi kong naririnig araw-araw. If I'm not praised by my beautiful face, they would praise my well defined curves in my body labelling it as "sexy".
There is nothing wrong about it actually but the fact that guys only like me because I have pretty face and sexy body isn't right, right? Like it wasn't genuine at all, they only love me because I'm pretty and sexy. They are only interested on me because of my physical appearance. Wala atang lalaki na magmamahal sa akin ng buo with pure intention.
Bitter right? Well you can't blame me though, sa mga past lovers ko all of them have something on their sleeves. Mahal daw ako, lol gusto lang pala makatikim o gusto lang pala akong ipagmayabang. That's why I don't believe in love, that thing doesn't exist in this world specially in this generation. Everyone is dating everyone, ganon yun they are on a circle of whatever they called it. It wasn't love at all, it wasn't genuine, lahat sila ginawa lang akong display kasi maganda ako, at nung nagsawa na at nakahanap ng someone na bago sa mata nila, iiwan na ako. Arghhhhhh I realy hate boys, they're so annoying.
Habang nagbabasa may nakita ako sa peripheral vision ko, isang rosas. A red rose to be exact.
"Aphrodyte, I really like you since then. Unang kita ko palang sayo natulala na ako sa ganda mo. Since that day I already like you. Then day after day--"
"You liked me because of my face, tapos ang story. Stop gaslighting me about that story of how you fall inlove with me because I am not interested. I am reading here can't you see? Nakaka istorbo kalang" Kinuha ko ang rose sa kamay nya at sininyasan na umalis na.
Nakita kong napakamot sya sa ulo niya pero hindi parin sya umalis sa harap ko. Kaya humarap ako sakanya tapos tinaasan ng isang kilay.
"What?" tanong ko dahil naka tunganga lang siya sa harapan ko.
"Mas maganda ka pala pag malapitan" wala sasarili niyang sabi. I rolled my eyes at him which take him back into his sense. I raised my brow for the second time which make him smile awkwardly. Umalis siyang tumatakbo with a weird smile on his lips.
Whats with these boys? Akala ko ba tinigilan na ako ng mga asungot na ganito dahil tinatarayan ko na sila. Wala atang epek yun kasi lapit nang lapit pa din ang iba, ang iba nag give up na dahil di na nakaya yung pag ignore ko sakanila. Well I don't care pare-pareho lang yan silang lahat, they like me because they want something from me.
Isinirado ko na ang librong binabasa ko dahil nawala na ako sa mood magbasa dahil sa nangyari. I walked in the hallway and everyone is looking weirdly at me. Wait, may dumi ba sa mukha ko? What the heck is happening here?
"Diba sya yung nasa pic?" what pic?
"Picture lang nakita mo?Lol may video ako"
"Naks ang sexy niya talaga, and swerte naman ng lalaking iyon"
"Sayang niya naman, akala ko ba puro pag-aaral lang inaatupag niyan?"
"Ew feeling malinis"
"Malandi"
"Si Aphrodyte yan diba? Omg akala ko matino yan, pokpok pala" what the hell? san nanggaling yun? Ang kapal nyang pagsabihan na pokpok ako.
"What did you just said?" I ask the girl who just said those words, subra na talaga yun. She faced me with disgust evident in her face. She's Eden, the bitch who's arrogant, pick me, and the most annoying girl in the campus.
"Oh? Hindi mo narinig? I said pokpok ka" She said fiercely
"Say it again or you'll regret what you've said" I said fiercely.
"Too much confident Aphrodyte? Why won't you see for yourself kung gaano ka kalandi" She took her phone out from her pocket then show me video. A video of girl having sex with a guy. Wait, as the girl faced the camera, her face was shown. And the heck, that girl looks like me! Hindi ako makapaniwala sa nakita ko. I'm sure this wasn't me, I never ever even lose my virginity tapos makikita ko ito? This is insane!
"What the fvck? That wasn't me!" I eyed her with ranging fire in me. This girl right here is spreading such videos, which is fake.
I roomed my eyes in the campus as I am finding someone. And there she is looking at me intently with a wicked smile plastered in her lips. I knew it ! Siya ang may pakana nito. I walked to her direction with bulging anger crypt in my face.
"You! You did this didn't you?"
"Ako? Common Aphrodyte, bakit ko naman gagawin yan? We're friends, we're best friends. Hindi ko magagawa yan sayo" She give me a innocent look which disgust me. And put a stress emphasizing 'friends'. This is utterly ridiculous!
"Friends? Eh ahas ka eh, kaya mo ito ginawa because hindi ka nakuntento sa pag agaw ng ex ko sakin. Well congrats! You did it, sayong sayo na, total parehas naman kayong trash" Galit na galit na talaga ako, I can't believe it na hindi pa siya nakuntento sa pang-aahas sakin kundi ginawa niya pa ito. I'm 100% sure siya may pakana sa fake video na kumakalat.
"Calling the attention of Aphrodyte Kateylia Gomez, please proceed to the principals office. Again, Calling the attention of Aphrodyte Kateylia Gomez, please proceed to the principals office" It was announce in the speaker of the school, which obviously, all of the students hear that. Everyone's eyes was on me, murmuring and spreading such rumor about me. Like as if I did a super horrible mistake, for pet sake it was fake!
I'm doomed, this school is super strict when it comes to scandal and viral like this hell nah, that wasn't me.
I eyed Akiesha and she just smiled sweetly. Ugh! I really hate this bitch! I rolled my eye and proceed walking; on my way to the principal office. As I was at the door of the office, I breathe heavily before I knock the door.
"Come in" Said the principal, which cue me to enter.
"Good morning ma'am, I was ask to proceed here in the off--" before I could continue talking she cut my words instantly.
"Oh, Ms. Gomez. I just heard the news circulating in the campus and I know you are fully aware of the school rules and regulations, as well as the punishment who did such act, right?" She then faced me.
"But ma'am, that video is fake. That wasn't me"
"Really? And you're lying now?" She said, not believing my words. Of course she wouldn't, she's the mother of the one and only Akiesha, that always have a place behind me. I know she hated me because she wanted her daughter to be the top.
"You also got a failing grade Ms. Gomez" I felt like all the blood in my body left me upon hearing what she just said.
"Come again, ma'am?"
"You have a failing grade in your majors Gomez, and by that you have the chance to lose the top rank, lose your scholarship, and get expelled in school for your hideous act that could possibly influnce students.
"But ma'am--"
"Shhh, no buts. I'll talk to your parents to settle this up. And maybe your dad can do anything about it; you know what I mean. You can leave now" Fvck no, not my parents, they would purposely won't come because I'm not that important to them anyway.
I was heading to my car when my phone rings. [Daddy] Oh hell nah, my oh so great father is calling me. And I for I know he already heard the news, It's like spreading like a wild fire.
"Hello Dad--"
"Aphrodyte Kateylia what is all this nonsense that I am hearing about you? And what is this scandal circulating in the campus? You put such dirt in my name Aphrodyte!"
"Dad it wasn't me, the video was fake and--"
"Fake? Who will ever believe you that it is fake? Your face is very visible in that video! I am not gonna cover for it, clean your own mess!"
"Dad--" He cut my words again.
"And oh, Don't ever come to my office and show your hideous face to me. I don't want to see your face ever again. And I am cutting my connection to you until you find your way to clear your own name. And as for now, I am discarding you as my daughter!"
"Dad-hello. Arghh what now kate, what now?" I asked myself as I don't how will I clean my name and fix those problems by my self. A tear scaped from my eyes and I wipe it as fast as I could. No, no one could ever see me cry, not now, never. I gather all my strength to enter my car and drove myself to my mothers house-where I am currently living.
"You're such a big disappointment! A scandal? A failing grades? And you have a potential to get expelled? You're such a disgrace to the family!" My mom welcomed me with a slap on my face with a knife like words. Great. Just great.
"I hate you! I hate that you exist! I hated your presence, It makes me puke! I wish you dead!" She shouted at me more, and all I could do is to bow my head and receive all she said to me. I'm used to this kind of words, but damn. It still hurts upon knowing that the person who carry me out of this world want me dead.
She went out of my sight and not seconds long she carried my things and throw it away outside. It scattered on the ground, all my clothes and stuff
"Leave! Lumayas ka na sa pamamamahay na ito at wag na wag ka ng babalik! Malas ka, pabigat, at higit sa lahat perwisyo lang and dala mo!"
Ouch, I don't know and I can't even count how many hurtful words that has been thrown to me today. I close my eyes in anguished for too much suffering and a sudden burst of bullshits that has given to me this day. Now what? I asked myself, where will I put myself now? Everyone doesn't want me, even my own family thrown me out of their life as easy as that.
I walked in the streets without in the right state of mind. I was shocked for the sudden punch life has given me. I was full of agony while walking in the street not knowing where to go because I have no one to contact to. Friends? I don't have one, all of them is fake and just using me for their own sake. I didn't use my car for I know if I drive anywhere it will run out of gas, it will just add burden to me taking it anywhere.
As I was walking I saw a bus going to my direction and to my not so right state of mind, I raised my hand and wave. The bus stopped in front of me as the door opens. I stepped inside and I saw there are only few passengers in the bus. I walked straight to the edge and find myself a comfortable seat.
I was casually taking my moment looking outside with a cloudy thoughts then suddenly I hear a loud beep from the bus that I am riding and in a split of seconds my body is already in the air. It seems like the time move slower as my body floats inside the bus, all the passengers where anywhere to be found and their mouth is in a gap. I close my eyes as I can feel that the bus is rolling drastically in a cliff. Seconds later I feel that my head hit a hard object and I cannot move my body anymore.
As I am slowly closing my eyes it seems like this is the end of me. I imagine this day as a painting, and it feels like this moment is the last touch, like destiny had already planned it. Just like a nicely made painting, there's something fancy about accepting that this might be how it was supposed to end. Thinking about how the last stoke of a brush that can end a masterpiece, it seems like how my life is supposed to end. The last brushstroke that touches the canvas, the last breathing of my whole existence.