Drenched in sweat? I grabbed the duvet, pulled it off of me, and hopped off the bed.
I examined myself…
I'm not hurting anywhere. I even did the unthinkable of reaching for my thighs—no, they're dry and silky and soft. No sign of dried bodily fluid.
"Are you alright, Lady Isa?" I heard one of my maids asked at the back of my head, but I was too preoccupied to even bat an eyelash for them.
I'm dressed. Fully dressed, matter-of-factly. What's happening? What happened? I—we—really didn't do anything? Even the kiss? The kiss was very, very passionate and felt very, very true. It would be a waste to not have really tasted his lips—I mentally screamed again.
WHY DO I LUST FOR HIM SO MUCH?!, I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs.
There must be some logical explanation. Yes, yes. Everything can be explained. I nodded, biting my finger again. When did my show of blood last happened? Maybe I'm just ripe for the picking right now that…
'Yes, right.' I snickered to myself, 'Ripe for picking and ready to be eaten?' my perverted self thought as I massaged my temples. I can't believe my sanity would be this fragile now that I'm in a new environment and feeling overwhelmed because of all the unfamiliar faces around.
"Are you alright, my lady? Does your head hurt? Maybe you should just rest again for today. I'll tell Missus Jane that—"
"No." I raised a hand, finally able to hear things. "I'm perfectly fine,"—staying in this room is going to make things worse for me. I might end up pouncing on him later if I stay cooped up—"I have a few things I want to do today. Am I going to have breakfast with the Count?" I walked towards my vanity to look at my face, my neck, my chest—nothing!
"Count Astor already left for the guild, my lady."
"Guild?"
"Yes, the mercenary guild that he manages. I heard it's already been established before he even left for the war. That's the main business we have here in Vervin. We have so many able men that there's no shortage of requests from all over the kingdom." Viola tilted her head and looked upwards, "In fact, we're the ones who have a shortage of men to send off. I heard that the master had been scouting talents since he was young that there's no one more capable left for the other nobles or guild." I only nodded along as if I understood anything past the words 'he manages'.
"Do you think Count Astor slept here last night?" I was sitting on my vanity stool with my legs crossed, my foot tapping on the wooden floor, restless. Marie had started to brush my hair of tangles, and I was back to biting my finger again. "Doesn't his side look awfully kept?"
Maybe, I thought, the steam and the aroma got the best of me and made me dream that… dream.
Yes, that seemed to be the most logical explanation.
"Well, his pillow doesn't have a crease and his side of the bed seemed kept." Viola said after pondering on my question.
"He sometimes sleeps in the guild or in the Keep." Marie seconded and I just sighed a very obvious and long sigh as I lowered my head in embarrassment. "B-but on our way here we crossed paths, and that's when he told us to wait for you. Maybe he really slept here? Or just ch-changed his clothes?"
"Marie!" Viola called and the younger maid showed a confused, apologetic smile as she shriveled behind me.
If he didn't even spend the night here, then I must be really going crazy! And it has only been what? Overnight?
I arrived here yesterday morning, fell asleep because I got dizzy about all the realizations coming in at once; by nighttime I met my husband-to-be, we had dinner, Jane showed me my study, I took a bath, then I got all hot about it. In the span of yesterday and today, I have made an utter fool of myself.
Where are you Isadora Montcroix, and who is this foolish woman sitting on this stool getting her hair brushed?
"Lady Isa?" Marie's hands on my shoulders brought me back to the present. "Maybe you should just rest today. I heard from some knight earlier that the count would be leaving for Ozryn and might take some days before he comes back."
"What?!" my voice was higher that I wanted it to be. "He didn't tell me that last night!" What kind of man meets his fiancé and just leave without telling her? Shouldn't this short time before getting married be used to get to know each other?
Marie must've been shocked by my sudden attitude that she clutched onto the brush tightly, her eyes shifting from me and Viola as if asking for help from her fellow maid.
"M-Marie only heard it from the knights, Lady Isa. Please don't be mad at her. We can have her check outside if the count did leave and—" I raised my hand shortly to stop Viola from talking and fidgeting on the blanket at the same time.
Great, just great Isadora Montcroix. Now you've frightened your maids. Didn't Ingrid always told you to be kind to your maids because they're the closest people to you who could actually do you harm without anyone noticing? I lectured myself as I inhaled discreetly.
"I'm sorry, Marie…" I reached out to touch her arm and smiled softly. "I didn't mean to raise my voice. I just… got up on the wrong side of the bed."
"Oh no, no, no, Lady Isa! I'm the one who's at fault. I… I eavesdropped and even r-ran my mouth without confirming first." Marie bowed frantically, "You don't have to say sorry to me. I should be the one saying sorry. I'm just a maid. I'm sorry. It's really okay, Lady Isa. I'm sorry." She said it was okay, but her voice trembled a little and I came to realize that this is probably the great wall that divides people with titles and people born without.
"Marie, stop bowing and listen to me," my voice turned stern as if I'm an older sister lecturing a younger sibling, "and you too, Viola," I looked back to my other maid, "from now on, I don't want you apologizing so easily, are we clear?" I waited for a nod or something but the two only exchanged looks." I want you to assess the situation first and determine if you're really at fault. If it is, then only apologize for the things you're at fault. And if it's not, and let's say, someone is forcing you to apologize, I want you to stand your grounds and carefully explain to the best of your abilities why you shouldn't be sorry."
"But… but…"
"An apology handed out so easily and repeatedly loses its meaning." Ingrid told me that apologies given without knowing why it's needed in the first place are not apologies but rather a convenient way to get out of things. "And," I stood up and placed my hands on my hips, a teasing smile emerged for both ladies listening to me, "Since you are my maids, your actions will also reflect mine. I'm not an easy woman, girls. Anyone—I mean, anyone that treats you unjustly will have to answer to me." I stood tall and proud as I received mental applauses for my well-said speech.
Marie and Viola all had hopeful eyes and if not for the loud chime of the chapel bells telling us we're already halfway through the day, the three of us would've had an even emotional embrace to finish things off.
*****
I skipped brunch and went straight for lunch because I had to take a bath, get dressed, fix my hair, put on some light make-up that I learned from one of my lady friends at my salon, and that just took forever!
The rest of the day I spent roaming around the garden, and around the castle. Jane introduced me to some of the staff and I made sure to smile extra at them. Just like when I arrived yesterday, the head housekeeper kept on telling me how sorry she was that she couldn't keep my husband-to-be home.
"I told him that he should spent the days remaining before the wedding to get to know you, but he wouldn't just listen to this old woman!" Jane was by herself trying to control her anger and I found that charming. "When that boy gets home, he'd hear an earful from me, just you wait, my lady."
I laughed, "It's okay Jane. Without him around, I'm free to do as I please."
Jane apologized on her master's behalf again then we ended the conversation after.
*****
Minutes turned to hours, and hours turned to days. I was so busy exploring the castle and getting to know the servants that by the time I realized it, it had already been three days since I last caught a glimpse of Count Astor.
"Viola, any news when your master is coming home?"
"The moment Missus Jane assigned us to serve you, you have become our master, Lady Isa," I smiled. In the short time that I've been giving them pointers on how to be confident and how to get other people's interest through simple conversations, I could say, as a woman sitting on the top of high society back in Reka, that Viola is ready to take on the city. Marie still needed a little brushing up, and her confidence needed polishing still. In time, Marie would just be as ready as Viola. "I heard the head chef's preparing an extensive course tonight."
"Tonight? Why, are we having visitors?" I straightened myself and picked up the teacup that's already cold. We were spending the afternoon at our room's balcony overlooking the ocean while eating the mini cakes the kitchen prepared for my snack.
Viola shrugged, "I'm not sure, my lady. Master Leon doesn't usually allow visitors in the castle. They might be for the knights who accompanied him. Or maybe something else?" she tilted her head and I just nodded.
These past three days had been… peaceful. Very peaceful.
No Count Astor, no temptation. Yes, very peaceful indeed. So peaceful that I'm seriously getting bored of my life here. Another day spent here, and I'd rendezvous somewhere in the island and pretend I'm a tourist or something.
"Tell me about Count Astor while we wait for Marie to come back with a new pot of tea."
"Hmm… actually," I turned to my maid, "There's a story that went around when they came back."
"Story?" I hope it's not story about women or babies. I gulped and braced myself.