'So, are you an angel... Or maybe a fallen angel?'
[Neither]he replied instantly, without flinching.
'Hmm, then what the hell are you?' I asked, tapping constantly on the armrest of the chair.
[I... I don't know.]
'You don't know, or you don't trust me enough to tell me what you are?' I questioned, sensing his hesitation.
Well, I can understand his feelings. Even I don't want to share too much about myself with him.
Reason?
Because I don't fucking trust him.
'What's your name?' I asked, as he remained silent after my last question.
[El.]
'That's not your real name, is it?' I pressed, observing the lady who brought my food.
"Enjoy your meal, sir," she said with a light smile as she passed the food to me.
"Thank you," I replied, taking the food and placing it on the table in front of me.
"..."
[What happened?]
'I felt uncomfortable when I thanked her,' I replied, looking at the lady.
Is my noble nature kicking in?
I can't even say thank you now?
"Ma'am," I called her again, making her look back at me. "Can I get anything electronic, like a phone or a tablet? I can pay for it if you want."
The lady looked at me awkwardly before she bowed a little and replied, "I will arrange one for you, sir, and it will be on the house."
With that, she walked back inside as I grabbed the utensils and brought the soup close to my mouth.
"Bland as ever," I mumbled as I drank the soup. I couldn't taste any flavor or sensation from the food.
And... For the rest of my life, I will have to live like this, never knowing how food tastes.
Just the thought of it depresses me.
[Wait... are you not going to ask anything from me?]
'Look buddy, you are the last thing I have to worry about,' I replied as I drank the soup just to fill my stomach.
[Seriously... What is wrong with you?]
'Everything,' I replied, shrugging my shoulders. 'Everything is wrong with me.'
The sound of footsteps approaching pulled me from my thoughts, and I looked up to see the lady returning with a small electronic device in her hands.
"Here you go, sir," she said, placing the device on the table in front of me. "A tablet, as requested."
"Thank you," I replied, again feeling a slight discomfort.
Opening the tablet, I quickly launched the first browsing app I could find on it.
[What are you doing?]
'Trying to find out who the [Main Antagonist] of the game will be,' I replied before taking a deep breath.
Hesperia kingdom.
I typed it in before clicking on the search icon and waiting for the results.
And... Nothing appeared.
I tried again and again with different approaches and words, but nothing appeared on it.
"Sigh..."
With a sigh, I placed the tablet back on the table before leaning back in the chair.
[Are you going to tell me what you were doing?]
'Hmm, you know, this world we're in, it's a world of a game or something similar,' I replied before closing my eyes.
[And... you are not him, right?]
'No shit, Sherlock. I would have been laughing like a madman if I were to be him,' I grumbled in reply.
[Why?] his voice echoed in my mind.
'Why, you ask?' I scoffed at his words before replying, 'That fucker is going to get a harem and power that he didn't earn, and you're asking me why?'
[So... aside from this hero person, who else is there?] Sensing my sour mood, he quickly changed the subject.
'Well, there are heroines, villains, villainess,' I replied, pausing briefly. '...And then there's me, the villainess maker.'
[So... you're special?] his voice probed.
'...No,' I replied, feeling a hint of bitterness. 'I'm just the heroines first love.'
I am a one-way ticket to a bad ending.
I opened my eyes to look at the tablet again, feeling a mixture of frustration and amusement.
Opening the browser once more, I searched for another name: Azariah Noah Aljanah.
In an instant, thousands of articles appeared before me.
"Disgrace of his family, rudest person to talk to, killer, rapist, mental patient... Woah, aren't I famous?" I chuckled softly as I read 'my' history according to the internet.
[You are not the same person as him?]
'No, I am not and in a sense I am,' I replied before closing the tablet. 'But you don't know how dearly I wished I wouldn't be him; being him is the shittiest thing that can happen to me.'
[Because of your body?]
'Partially, yes, but mostly because of my blessing.'
'Blessing of Amun-Ra' that I got when I was a child.
Blessing of one of the strongest Gods to ever live, but this blessing became a curse when the world got to know about it.
My body and my blessing are the most desirable things that all the evil organizations want.
A body that can work as a container and can adapt to all kinds of energy in this world.
That's what my blessing is capable of...
...But the problem is, my body rejects Mana and because I can't use Mana properly, making it extremely hard for me to get stronger.
I am basically a duck on a chopping board, ready to be chopped.
'...And you know what's the worst part in all this?' I thought as I closed my eyes.
'If I don't think about how to survive by the end of this year, I will be turned into a puppet that only moves in her hand until the end of my life.'